


you won't meet a boy sat in your bedroom

by floatingsalad



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Blind Character, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-09-30 12:36:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 99,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10163186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floatingsalad/pseuds/floatingsalad
Summary: (SIGHTLESS BY VASHAPPENING) (COMPLETE)blind since birth, he can't see the world, and the world doesn't care about seeing him. his monotone life gets flipped upside down when a twenty one year old man with an ever-lasting smile stumbles into it.





	1. opening

**Author's Note:**

> hello my friends! i have written this piece between 2013 and 2015 on wattpad, originally titled 'sightless' (because i lack originality yada yada), after a bit of editing here and there i continue to stand by the fact that it does not represent my current style or ability. i wanted to re-post this here for anybody who is still interested in reading it!

i.

The staircase was horrifyingly narrow, yet not impossible to navigate. _Much like the building itself, in fact_ , Harry thought, as he made his way down, heels clicking against the pavement in an irritating way, hand slipping off and letting go of the marble banister, world dark ahead of him as he stood at the bottom.

It must have been a sunny day, because the skin on the back of his neck felt warmer than usual. Contrastingly, the hair on his arms was prickly with the way goosebumps appeared over his limbs as soon as the slightest breeze hit him. He wasn't too keen on seeing the sun - last time he got burnt, and what good is that? It's like sticking your hand right into a bag that says ' **Don't stick your hand in here** ' in neat print.

He didn't want to block the staircase for others so he moved to the side, gently tapping the wall of the building beside him just to make sure he knew where he was. Once he was assured, he reached into his leather bag, fingers tracing the few items stored inside in attempt to find his simple yet beloved mobile phone. When his attempt was unfortunately unsuccessful, Harry gave up, letting out a small huff through his pouting lips when he slung the bag once again over his shoulder and proceeded walking in the direction he knew the underground was.

It was a matter of time.

London's massive - there's people, locals, tourists. Harry's constantly surrounded by people, but because of this he also learned how to dodge them quite successfully. He didn't feel it coming, despite the fact that he usually felt the presence of another. This time, he didn't even hear them approaching, not even being able to step aside and allow them to walk past him in peace.

Which was most probably why the warm body collided with his, taking him by surprise. Not only did he land on the pavement, a warm flush colouring his face but his heart started to beat faster, fear flooding his body.

"Oh - god, I'm so sorry, mate," He heard a soft voice exclaim instantly, the heat pulling away and hands grabbing onto his shoulders, holding him steady. Harry's head was spinning, and he was not even sure if his eyes were open.

They were, when he checked. He pressed his fingers over his eyelids, trying to block out everything going around him. He could feel himself swaying on his feet.

"Are you okay? It was an accident, seriously," The voice continued, soft, but yet still giving Harry a headache. He wanted to see the person, he wanted to know who bumped into him so unexpectedly. From what his thoughts could gather, it was a boy, but he couldn't judge from the few sentences the other had spoken so far. "Hey?"

"...Yeah," Harry managed. He blinked a little, reaching up to rub at his head, aware of the heavy hands still holding him down by the shoulders. "Sorry,"

"No, no, it's my fault, I should have looked where I'm going," The person mumbled to him, their tone a little lighter now, unaware of how Harry hummed with sadness. He tried to focus on the voice, past the loud noise of the city around them. "You're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Harry hesitated briefly, finally blinking his eyes open and quickly adverting his gaze towards the ground.

"Hey, look at me, mate," The man - yes, definitely - said, and Harry was more than aware of how close he was to him, his warm breath on his face. Without daring to say anything, Harry looked up, blinking a little and hoping that he was at least looking in the general direction of him.

Instead, the man laughed softly, turning Harry ever so slightly towards him. "I'm over here, silly,"

"Sorry," The young boy muttered, finally pulling away from the tight grip. He felt the man's hands drop off his shoulders "Not like I'm gonna proper look at you,"

"What? Why?"

"Don't think you've ever seen a blind person look at someone, idiot,"

He heard the man's breath hitch in surprise. The usual reaction, then. The quick apology, a squeeze of his shoulder. And then they disappear, never to see Harry again.

There was silence for a minute and Harry almost wanted to run away but he couldn't - he was all up in this man's personal space, so close that if he reached up with his arm he would have probably smacked him in the face.

The man finally let out a soft breath, and reached out a little to touch Harry's arm with the tips of his fingers. "I don't get it - what? You just-"

"I can't see you," Harry explained, dusting off his shoulders and standing up straight, running his fingertips over the strap of the bag slung over his arm. He wanted to get out of this uncomfortable situation as fast as he could and his head was pounding and so was his heart and he wanted to die a little inside. "I need to go,"

"Wait! Let me at least make it up to you," The man exclaimed, quick to follow Harry who took a few steps backwards. He felt the man catch up to him, once again by his side. "Dinner's on me tomorrow, how's that sound?"

Harry almost cried.

"Pleasant. But I must say no,"

"No - please! I just don't want to come off as a jerk. I honestly didn't know you couldn't see,"

"It's fine," Harry let out a soft laugh, blinking a little. He was quite surprised with how concerned the man sounded but then again - people are always shocked, always confused. After all, he doesn't look like his eyes are a blur of darkness to him, does he? He turned to the man, giving him a little smile. "You don't have to do anything, honest,"

"Please - look, I will pick you up at five and take you to a great restaurant. They do amazing food, gotta try it mate," He rambled on, turning Harry's mind blank once again. "I'm Louis - there, you know my name now, you can't say no,"

"But - no," Harry blinked a little, and he badly wanted to know why the man was doing this.

"Please? Just one dinner?"

Harry let out a small breath he didn't even realise he was holding in, running over the options in his head. He could stick to his negative opinion and simply keep disagreeing, or he could run for it. Or he could say yes.

"Just one dinner, yeah?" He spoke slowly, as if he was trying the words out.

He heard Louis' laughter. "Whatever you want,"

"That - that'd be quite nice, then, I suppose," Harry forced himself to drag out. "M' Harry."

He knew how wide Louis was grinning when he was being asked for a pen to scribble down his address with a promise of tomorrow and fingertips grazing his arm.


	2. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i'm @vashappening off wattpad which is why this story may seem familiar to some. i have decided to remove my works off wattpad and i am reposting them here for anybody who wants to read them.

i.

Louis ran his fingertips over the metal fencing as he made his way down the unfamiliar road. It was a nice, quiet street - one that was quite typical for London. The houses all looked identical with the same type of brick in the structure of the building, curtains drawn here and there. Small yards in the front, bikes propped up against dark stone walls. There was a kid who sped past him on a scooter, and the man couldn't help but duck his head when grinning. His eyes scanned over the residences down either side of the street as his feet took him forward at a slow pace.

Fifty four, fifty five, fifty six . He finally took in a deep breath before crossing the road and coming to a stop in front of number 57.

The house itself seemed quite big - which made sense, seeing as it was after all inhabited by a blind man. The usual red bricks made the house similar to others, only different by the decorative yet simple windows, and the garden of flowers in front of the house.

Louis let himself step forward onto the paved path, and he quickly walked up to the front doors.

Before he even managed to press his finger to the doorbell, the door swung open to reveal a young girl - maybe around his own age - soft, peach coloured curls framing her face and falling over her shoulders and a somewhat cheeky grin on her lips, a smile that most definitely reached her eyes.

"You must be Louis!" She exclaimed in an excited tone, accent clear in her voice and the pretty smile never leaving her face. When Louis agreed with a single and a somewhat confused nod, she giggled and stepped to the side in order to let the boy step past her, into the house. She was pretty, and she smelt like perfume he was unfamiliar with despite often stacking shelves with all different kinds of glass bottles of sweet-scented fragrance. 

 

The hallway was big and spacious, cream walls contrasting from the few decorative designs. Louis let himself appreciate the house from the inside for a few seconds before he heard the door being shut behind him and so he turned to face the girl again, offering her a polite smile.

"Marc Jacobs?"

"What?" She asked, the smile on her lips never faltering. If anything, the corners of her mouth lifted slightly.

"Your perfume," He grinned.

"Yes, how do you even know? I'm Gemma, by the way. Harry's sister, yeah? And you - perfume enthusiast boy, are here for my brother, right?" Her tone faltered a little as she tilted her head to the side in question, a genuine frown clouding over her features momentarily. It doesn't last long, and he instantly took her for an optimist.

"I sure am. And hello to you, by the way," Louis politely nodded, making the girl laugh loudly once again, any signs of concern disappearing off her face. She was wearing thick eyeliner, which he took a long moment to admire. She was pretty.

"Oh, he's so happy, man. He won't tell you, or anything - but he's over the fucking moon," She trailed off, breathing out softly, her eyes distant, shining bright as she stared ahead. She was leaning After a few moments of silence and Louis glancing at her in question, her soft gaze flickered back towards the confused man in front of her. "He doesn't get asked out often, yeah? But it's not my place to tell you this. H's upstairs, he should be right down."

And with a sigh of something he could easily mistake for glee, she slipped away, disappearing into the kitchen. For a moment, Louis stood helplessly in the middle of the empty hallway, blinking slowly as his mind attempted to comprehend the information he was just given. Instead, he decided to make the best of his time and have a quick look at the framed pictures hanging up on the cream walls, his eyes wandering over the many photographs, without having anything else to do. He smiled to himself when he spotted a young Harry with a short fringe amongst his numerous family members.

He was pulled away from his thoughts when he heard a soft thud followed by slow footsteps down the stairs behind him, making him instantly react and turn around.

It was a sight he was not expecting.

"I think they're too tight," A voice yelled down, missing a step and continuing down as though nothing happened. The young man who he had only met yesterday was slowly making his way down, one hand clinging onto the banister, the other nowhere near the wall on his other side. Louis was ready to react in case Harry tripped or fell, yet to his surprise the boy got to the bottom of the stairs and he stepped onto the wooden floor, boots clicking against the marble floor as he stepped forward, steadying himself against the wall. Black jeans hugged his legs, a faded forest green flannel that was done up only half of the way hanging off his shoulders. His hair was curling around his face, pretty locks flowing freely down to his neck. 

For a second, he simply stood there, hesitant, eyebrows furrowing in a small frown and Louis watched him bite into his lip before he called out, this time quieter; "Gem?"

"Harry - hey," Louis decided that it was the right time to speak up and let him know of his presence. The man instantly froze as soon as his voice was heard, his eyes snapping open, frantically searching the darkness ahead of him. That being unhelpful, Harry let out a nervous laugh and turned in the direction he seemed to hoped the voice came from.

"Louis?"

"Yeah - hey, it's just me," Louis replied softly, smiling down at the boy who looked more nervous than he probably should.

"Hello, I - I'm sorry, I didn't know you were here already," "Harry slowly said, head tilting down nervously as a pink blush coloured the skin of his cheeks. "Don't mind me complaining about my jeans - they're not all that tight,"

"It's okay - you wouldn't have known, I didn't say anything. Sorry - I'm over here, by the way," Louis softly answered, reaching forward to place his hand on Harry's upper arm, gently spinning him so that they faced each other.

He let his eyes wander over Harry's features - it being easier now, without the crowd of rushed people around them. The younger boy stood in silence, alarmingly aware of Louis' fingers gently grasping onto his skin and the curious eyes on his face.

"You look very good," The older man admitted openly at which the blush on Harry's cheeks deepened, the boy smiling hesitantly.

"Thank you," Harry chewed on his bottom lip and Louis couldn't help but notice that it was a habit. "You probably do, too."

Louis bit back another grin. "Do you want to go, now? I made reservations at the restaurant I told you about, I think you'll really like the food there." He said, keeping his voice quiet at which the younger man exhaled a shaky breath before letting his head drop in a single nod.

"I just - um. My mum..."

Louis could literally feel the crinkles by his eyes growing with the constant smile he had on his lips. He ushered Harry back towards the stairs, the boy shooting him a grateful smile in response before he placed his hand on the banister. As he zoned out momentarily, he focused his gaze on the numerous rings Harry wore on his fingers, inspecting each.

A woman had appeared at the top of the stairs, hand pressed to her mouth in order to quieten herself, her eyes shining bright. The sight was in fact pretty unfamiliar to Louis, seeing as his past boyfriends never even bothered introducing him to their parents. Yet here he was - picking up a boy who he didn't know longer than a day and his mum was already in front of him, smiling with shiny eyes.

"Good evening..." He begun, but was quickly cut off by the woman quickly making her way down the stairs, pulling the boy into an instant hug, knocking his breath out of his lungs.

"Anne," She laughed before pulling back, her lips pressed together in a smile. "Pleasure to meet you. Thank you,"

Louis simply smiled in response, a little confused at her behaviour, before he glanced over Anne's shoulder at poor Harry who was left staring down at the floor with cheeks dusted with a soft pink, playing with his own fingers as he waited patiently.

"Guys, have a good evening," Anne said quietly, taking her own son's face in her hands as soon as she stepped back, pressing her lips to his forehead in a kiss before looking down at the smiling boy with pride evident in her eyes. Louis watched them in silence, missing his own mum a little more with every passing moment. He made a quick mental note to call her tonight.

Anne pulled Louis to the side once she let go of Harry, momentarily watching the boy sit on the bottom step of the stairs as he pulled on his boots, zipping them up on the side. Louis couldn't help but notice that she could find it much more easier to observe her son than any other parent, the fact that Harry couldn't see her making it much easier. He swallowed thickly at the thought, a little uneasy with the idea.

Louis blinked at her slowly with a questioning smile and she returned one quickly.

"I know it's just one evening - but please make sure he gets home safely."

Louis nodded instantly. He was no fool. "Yeah - yeah, no, of course. I know. He'll be back as soon as our apology dinner is over, safe and sound,"

She smiled softly, before it faltered a little. She stepped closer to him, shifting from one foot to another. "I'm - I'm sorry this may be really embarrassing for him, but... don't push things too far with him, he's really - he's really emotional, you know?" She let out a teary laugh when she noticed Louis' concerned gaze and his kind smile fading a little. "Sorry, sorry. I know, I'm doing the usual mum stuff, huh? He's just my baby, you know? My only son, my youngest son and I love him with all my heart,"

Louis nodded. He wasn't expecting this when he asked Harry to dinner the day before - it was a lot to take in. Harry's mum was lovely, but she was making him feel quite concerned. What was Harry like? He had no idea what to expect.

"I'm pleased I can go with him," Louis replied a little hesitantly, to which Anne smiled softly once again before giving the man one quick hug.

"You do seem like a good lad, Louis. Should have seen my Harry last night, absolutely bouncing off walls,"

Louis grinned a little at the thought, before saying goodbye to the woman who waved them off, and walking over to Harry who was now standing up, black ankle boots on his feet.

"Come on, love," Louis muttered quietly, reaching down to lace his fingers with Harry's. Surprisingly, the boy held on tight, as if afraid of letting go.

He wasn't sure how to act, whether grabbing his hand so quickly was even acceptable in this case. He figured he shouldn't dwell on it - the fact that the younger man accepted his palm so quickly just showed that he didn't mind.

"Where are we going?" Harry asked in a quiet voice, neatly stepping over the turn in the pavement and following the older boy into his car, allowing Louis to guide him into the comfortable seat.

"Dinner," Louis replied calmly, buckling in his own seat belt before starting the car, and simply allowing himself to take in the image of Harry in the passenger seat. "It's just a small restaurant in town, up Westgate."

The boy seemed to be clearly nervous as he blinked his eyes, lips sealed in somewhat comfortable silence as he played with his own fingers on his lap. He only turned his head when he came to the realisation that Louis hasn't yet started driving despite starting the vehicle. His fingers tapped on the seat.

"Are you - you're not driving yet, are you?" Harry stumbled over his own words, licking over his lips at the end as if to prove his point as he stared right ahead, seemingly hoping that he was at least looking in Louis' direction.

"No," The man smiled softly. He hesitated briefly, before reaching over to give the younger man's hand a small pat, making him pause in tapping his fingers against the leather seat. "Mate - don't be nervous. Please? You don't have to be worried about anything, I promise I'll help out if you need it."

Harry swallowed thickly and took in a shaky breath, before exhaling with a small laugh. He shook his head a little, as though he felt ridiculed by himself. "Sorry,"

"Don't apologise, just don't be nervous. You won't have anything to be nervous about, I promise,"

Harry looked down. "I know - but, like. I don't usually go out with... people like you,"

Louis couldn't help but nod a little as he watched the sun beams light up the side of Harry's face, his features clear. His eyes were shining bright despite him staring down, not even aware that he's doing so - which made Louis both intrigued and fascinated. He let his eyes wander down to the boy's hands, the left holding the right as if pinning it down, most probably to prevent it from shaking so much.

"I'm going to drive now," Louis said gently, figuring that it was only right to do so when the younger man couldn't see it himself, watching as Harry nodded and grinned to himself.

Louis felt quite cool, really. He didn't have many people who appreciated him as much as Harry seemed to appreciate him - and it felt good. He glanced between the road and the man as Harry let his fingers linger over the car doors, feeling the glass of the window warmed up by the sunshine from outside. His fingers were a little shaky against the cool glass, and he knew Louis was watching him.

"So - what do you do?" Louis finally asked when they stopped at a red light, allowing himself to glance at Harry briefly, a ridiculous smile instantly tugging at the corners of his lips. He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel as he forced himself to look away, pressing his lips together tightly.

"I study," Harry hesitated briefly, his eyebrows drawing together when he frowned, no longer for Louis to see.

"Saint Peter's? It's near you, just a guess,"

"No - I'm home schooled," Harry drew out.

"Oh," Louis hummed in acknowledgement. "I'm second year uni, do a bit of language and literature. You finishing up sixth form studies this year?"

Harry nodded in response, a single movement of his head as he licked over his lips, turning his head towards the window once again. They spent the rest of the ride in silence, and Louis started to feel for the boy. He couldn't begin to imagine spending the whole journey in darkness, but he allowed himself to admire the way his eyes were always shut, head tilted back, sunshine lighting up his neck on show.

And - damn, even his neck was very pretty. He is very pretty.

"We're here," Louis cleared his throat as soon as he parked the vehicle, letting himself breathe out the sigh he was holding in as he pulled his keys out. He focused his gaze on the dashboard, willing his breathing to return to normal and his heart to stop hammering against his chest in the way it was.

"Oh - oh, okay," The boy let his fingers linger down the seat belt until he reached the buckle, fiddling with the clip for a few moments before freeing himself. Louis figured that he must have felt his gaze on him, judging by the way his face grew warm. "Your belts are a bit ridiculous,"

"You're blushing,"

"I honestly don't know what that is," Harry admitted, his rosy cheeks picking up in colour even more.

"Are you embarrassed? Or shy - perhaps? I don't know. Your skin turns red - blood, or whatever."

"That sounds odd," The boy decided after a moment of chewing the inside of his bottom lip in worry. He let it slip past his teeth with a small sound.

"Should we get going, then?" Louis shuffled around in his seat, digging out his wallet from under the seat and grinning at the bills inside. All safe in place, then. He didn't imagine them.

"That'd be great," Harry smiled briefly before reaching out towards the door. He didn't know that his cheeks grew even rosier with every second as Louis opened the door for him instead, hooking their arms together as they slowly made their way up the pathway leading towards the restaurant doors.


	3. 2

"Reservation for two, under Tomlinson,"

The man behind the wooden reception desk instantly glanced up, his eyes only flickering between Harry and Louis for a second, before pausing on where Harry's arm was hooked through Louis'. He plastered on a tight smile as he met the man's eyes.

"Of course, let me just-" He tapped on the monitor with his pen a few times before ticking off Louis' reservation and standing up, white cloth draped over his arm. "I'll lead the way towards your table,"

Louis felt Harry's fingers twitch a little where he held onto his arm, tightening the hold around it as they started walking once again. His head was held high and his eyes were wide open, staring ahead as they walked and to anybody that didn't know, they'd be sure to think he was just like anybody else.

"You okay?" Louis asked quietly, leaning in over to whisper. To his surprise, he didn't startle him. 

"Fine," Harry replied with a small smile. Every time his emotion shone through his features, it was so small - Louis couldn't help but notice the way his smiles never reached his eyes, and his frowns never fully overtook his face. His feelings were so quiet - like a whisper, for nobody to know.

"Here is your table," The waiter had stopped at a booth near the back of the restaurant, motioning towards it. Just before darting off back towards the reception, where quite a queue was beginning to form, he was quick to add: "We will bring out the meal menu shortly."

Louis nodded briefly before leading his companion over to the seat, taking his hand and letting it settle on the table. Stepping back, he allowed Harry a moment to sit himself down before slipping into the booth on the opposite side.

"Thanks," Harry mumbled as he made himself comfortable, his lips parting as he took a shaky breath in. The man was quick to understand that the surroundings were new to him, despite being pretty familiar to Louis. He watched as he let his hands linger on the table, fingers brushing over the tablecloth and finally finding the glass full of - something, water perhaps.

"If I could move the seat over to be by you, I would," Louis informed him softly, patting the single-seat booth chair as though to make an emphasis. "I know you may feel pretty uncomfortable,"

"It's really fine," Harry quickly assured him. "I - Do you mind if I just... er-"

"Yeah, go ahead."

He further watched in silence as the young boy trailed his fingers across everything on the table, identifying shapes and items. His felt out the cloth, his napkin, the cutlery. Trailing his fingertip around the rim of his glass, he nodded to himself. When he was satisfied, he let his hands linger on the table, smiling up shyly.

"Sorry. I - I look at things this way, you know."

"Yeah,"

"What - what do you usually get when you come here?" Harry asked, smiling shyly, eyes shining from behind his fringe of brown curls. Louis let himself grin back, his mind drifting off to the last time he had visited his restaurant.

He was with his old boyfriend - Zayn Malik, with tan olive skin and a beautiful face, soft brown eyes. He had remained friends with Zayn after the couple of months they were together. He remembers ordering in this exact restaurant.

"I don't really have a preference, you know? Last time I came here I had this white asparagus soup," Louis explained, watching Harry closely, noticing as the boy scrunched his nose slightly. "Yeah, it wasn't really my definition of tasty. I do, however, recommend the roasted cod fillet, if you're into that sort of thing, that is."

Harry thought for a few moments, before nodding slowly. "Fish?"

"Yes, the sides are-" Louis leaned in a little closer to read off the menu. "Boiled potatoes, and autumn salad. You alright with that?"

"Sounds delicious. Seems like food is your thing, then?" Harry said quietly, smiling softly at Louis who grinned back in satisfaction, despite not being able to fully agree with Harry.

"I wouldn't say so. Not cooking, anyway. Last time I attempted toast I might have set a table cloth on fire," He said, smirking a little at the memory. Zayn had to use a fire extinguisher to not only get rid of the burning flames but to cool down the entire kitchen which had begun to get heated up.

"Louis!" Harry giggled into his hand, muffling the sound. Louis noticed how his eyes lighted up, and he smiled at the pretty boy in front of him. "That's ridiculous, I can't believe that,"

"I can't prove it any other way than to ask you to join me to go home so that I can show you the burnt table cloth which I have kept as a memory of the tragic incident,"

Harry blushed slightly, pale pink dusting both his cheeks as he turned his head down, two or three brown curls falling in front of his eyes.

"I've gone red, right?" Harry asked quietly, top teeth biting into his bottom lip nervously as his eyes searched the darkness ahead of him.

"No, no, you're good. You're a pretty blusher, you know," Louis assured him immediately, grinning once again when Harry looked up at him, reaching up to fix his own hair before resting his elbows on the table, arms propped up so that his chin rested atop left hand.

"I don't know what a blush looks like. Sometimes people tell me that it's when your face turns red, but I don't know what red is. And - that must not be a pleasant sight, anyway," Harry explained quietly, blinking his eyes lazily. Louis watched in silence, his mouth feeling a little drier after he heard Harry's words.

"Er - you turn a shade of pink, slightly. And it makes you look pretty, Harry. Gives you a glow. It happens when you get embarrassed and it looks absolutely adorable,"

Harry's blush deepened, and the older boy almost felt sorry for him because he couldn't physically tell whether he was blushing or not. But - thing was, he looked lovely, innocent and cute.

Louis was once again taking in every detail of Harry's face, and he was just about to reach forward to push one of the curls behind Harry's ear and maybe take Harry's hand from across the table as the younger boy played with the edge of the table cloth, running his fingertips over the soft material, when a different waitress tapped Louis' shoulder from behind, making him jump in his seat and instantly straighten up to turn around and look at her.

"Have you decided on your order yet, sir?" She smiled sweetly at Louis, blinking her eyes, long eyelashes fluttering, as she tilted her head slightly to the side, her long blonde ponytail resting over her shoulder.

"Erm - yeah, we have," Louis said, pressing his lips together and looking over at the confused looking boy on the other side of the table, who was staring down at his glass of water. "Still want the same, Harry?"

"Uh, yes please," The boy said quietly, breathing in shakily as the presence of another person made him slightly more nervous. He flinched a little when he felt a hand on his, fingers lacing through his own, pulling his hand forward. He choked a little when he realised Louis was holding his hand.

Louis blinked up at the waitress, keeping a tight grip on Harry's hand, ignoring the other boy's confusion as he was more focused at the look of disappointment and somewhat anger on the waitress' face once she noticed their hands linked. "Yeah, we have. I'll have the tea smoked salmon salad and white wine," Louis read out from the menu, and then looked up at the waitress who was now looking rather bored as she scribbled down the order with a bitten-down pencil. "And lovely Harry will have the roasted cod fillet with the sides. Wine, Haz?"

"I - erm. If that's okay," Harry stuttered out, still frozen in the position he was in before, his fingers stiff in between Louis'. He relaxed slightly into his chair when he felt Louis' thumb brush over his palm.

"And white wine for my boy, too," Louis added, plastering on a tight smile as he waved the frowning waitress off. His eyes instantly widened when he saw Harry struggling to catch his breath. "What - what's wrong, love? Are you alright?"

Harry took in a shaky gasp, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to concentrate on his breathing. Louis is holding his hand and he just called him his boy. Louis is holding his hand. He's Louis' boy.

"Harry, are you okay?" Louis asked genuinely, his eyes shining bright as he watched Harry come back down to earth, his breathing eventually evening out once again.

"I'm fine," Harry gasped out, opening his eyes when he was sure his heartbeat was back to normal, his mind fully aware of Louis' grasp still on his hand.

"Sorry about that, the waitress was kind of - hitting on me. That sounds weird. I wish I didn't say that," Louis blurted out, mentally slapping himself. "I just wanted to let her know that I was here with someone - you - and I wasn't trying to be pushy. Was that fine with you, though?"

Harry's mind was racing, confused with Louis' actions. "Yeah, it's great. She's gone, now, right?"

"Yeah, she's gone," Louis smiled.

"I didn't like her," Harry told Louis quietly, his tongue flicking out to run moisture over his lips.

"I didn't like her either, could you tell?" Louis giggled, making Harry smile a little. "Can I ask you questions? You can ask me questions too. I'd love to get to know you better,"

"Yeah, that'd be quite nice," Harry smiled softly, reaching upwards to push his fringe back slightly. He licked his lips again, and squeezed Louis' hand gently.

"Favourite food?"

"Spaghetti, I think," Harry replied after a few seconds of hesitation. "Erm - favourite singer?"

"Jake Bugg, he kills it. What's your favourite co-" Louis immediately bit his tongue, sighing heavily. This was one of the first questions anyone would ask another person yet he did the mistake of asking Harry, a blind boy, the question. He felt so stupid, and he wished the ground would just suck him up. "I'm so sorry, it's just - I didn't think. I always ask that. Sorry. I'm dumb,"

Harry laughed quietly, giving Louis' hand another gentle squeeze of reassurance. "It's fine. You don't need to treat me differently,"

Louis groaned, running his free hand over his face. "Yeah, okay. I'm still sorry, though,"

"I want to have a favourite colour. What's your favourite colour?"

"Green," Louis immediately replied, before biting his tongue again. "I mean-"

Harry leaned forward slightly, his chin still resting on his hand. "Tell me about your favourite colour, Louis,"

Louis swallowed thickly, feeling slightly nervous with the words he's to be using around Harry. He had to keep taking back what he was saying because of the limited things Harry knew about the world.

"It's the colour of nature, of natural beauty. The grass outside is green. I can see the grass from here, out of the window, and it's illuminated by the sunlight so that it's bright and it looks beautiful. Green is a lovely colour," Louis spoke softly, quietly, muttering words only for Harry to hear. And, he added, for good measure, "Your shirt is green."

Harry giggled a little, reaching down to tug on his shirt shyly before turning upwards to face Louis again. He wasn't aware of the fact that the boy was leaning so far across the table that their noses almost bumped together.

"What else is green?" Harry asked quietly, his voice almost below a whisper.

"Leaves on trees are green, and emeralds are green. Pretty clovers are green. And - you know what else is green, Harry?"

"What?" Harry asked, his eyes shining bright as he stared ahead, trying to find Louis in the darkness.

"Your eyes are green, sweetheart."

Harry instantly froze, not daring to blink his eyes as he looked straight ahead, desperate to see past the black darkness and the shadows. He wanted to see Louis and the fingers that felt so comfortable between his own and made him feel so safe. He wanted to see his lovely Louis more than anything; he felt the familiar pinch in the corners of his eyes.

"Shame they don't work," He mumbled, turning away to look down at his lap. He closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. He couldn't cry in front Louis. He couldn't.

"Harry," Louis said quietly, reaching forward to brush the fingertips of his free hand under the boy's chin, lifting his head slowly and gently. "You okay? Your eyes don't need to work, baby. They're perfect and they're wonderful, just like you. I wish more people were like you, love,"

"What, disabled?" Harry sniffled out, finally feeling the tear escape his eye and slowly trail down his cheek, leaving a wet line across his skin. That was, until he felt Louis thumbing away the tears, leaning across the table to press his lips to the soft skin of his jaw.

"No, with such a beautiful heart. You're so caring and so lovely, and it doesn't matter that you can't see, because you can get way past that. Alright, Haz?"

Harry breathed in. He blinked his eyes open, meeting the familiar darkness. He smiled.

"Alright."


	4. 3

After sharing a delicious apple crumble with two spoons, during which Louis' heart almost stopped when Harry missed his mouth, instead managing to get the apple treat down his green shirt as his cheeks flushed pink in a pretty blush, they were finally ready to leave the restaurant.

Harry didn't want Louis to leave.

"Excuse me?" Louis called over to the waitress who barely glanced over at the two boys before instantly looking away, walking over to their table with no eye contact between them whatsoever. "Can we have the bill, please?"

"Yes, of course, Louis," The waitress scowled, walking over to the bar once again to collect the paper stating the amount they had to pay.

"Er - do you know her?" Harry mumbled quietly, ducking his head as he felt Louis' fingers brush over his own as the boy pulled his hand away to take his purse out of his denim jacket pocket.

"No, love. She probably heard my name during our conversation," Louis offered in a soft tone, watching as Harry's shoulders relaxed visibly in a relieved sigh.

"Oh, okay," The boy squeaked, looking up past the locks of his fringe, shooting a small smile in Louis' direction, making the said boy grin widely.

"Here," The waitress said, appearing suddenly as she slammed the paper down onto the table, winking at Louis, her fake eyelashes that were plastered on top of her eyelid fluttering slightly before walking away.

Louis shuddered before he picked the paper up, his lips parting and his eyebrows furrowing in a frown when he read the large price printed out.

"Louis?" Harry asked into the darkness a few minutes later when he heard no noise or movement coming from the boy opposite him, as he reached out to pat Louis' side of the table. "Are you still here?" He asked, a panicked tone appearing in his quiet voice as he felt around the tablecloth with careful fingers, trying his hardest not to knock anything over.

Louis felt his eyes widen at Harry, disappointed in himself for he has forgotten about the boy's disability.

"God - yeah, I'm here, sorry. Here, see?" He took hold of one of Harry's hands, giving it a gentle squeeze, making the boy smile shakily.

"Oh. Sorry - I just thought that maybe... you. Erm - you could have left," He huffed out a breath.

"I would never do that - not to you Harry," Louis replied, scrunching the paper up with his spare hand as he took out a couple ten pound notes out of his wallet, placing them down on top of the table, ignoring the waitress' glare on the side of his head as he slowly stood up, taking Harry by surprise as his hand was being tugged upwards.

"Are you leaving now?" The boy asked, his cheeks growing red in a blush that was now familiar to Louis.

"Yeah, we're leaving, Harry," The boy corrected him, patiently standing still by Harry's chair as the boy scrambled up, almost tripping over his own feet, stuttering when he apologised, making Louis laugh quietly which in turn made him blush deeper, huffing out a shaky breath.

"Sorry," Harry repeated himself, as he clung onto Louis' hand, letting the boy lead him past the reception where he uttered a polite thank you to whoever was standing behind the desk, and into the evening sunlight outside where the warm air instantly hit his face, making him scrunch his nose up.

The sky was slowly darkening, the last rays of sun shining through the pink clouds, giving skin a warm glow.

"I'll give you a lift home," Louis offered, squeezing the blind boy's hand as he led him towards his car, walking slow to make sure Harry wouldn't trip over the stone path. "This pavement is an absolute joke,"

Harry laughed a little, stepping past a bunch of branches that somehow found its' way onto the pedestrian pathway.

"I wouldn't even let you trip though," Louis continued, letting go of Harry's hand onto to wrap his arm around the taller boy's waist instead, pulling him closer and sharing body heat.

"That's - um. Nice to hear," Harry replied quietly, pushing himself closer to Louis as they walked.

The smaller yet older boy opened the passenger doors for Harry, waiting for the boy to climb into the car before shutting the door, climbing in himself through the other side.

He began driving in silence, the quiet evening air between the two only cut through by the sound of the radio humming out a Rita Ora song that was all too familiar to not only Louis but most people in the world.

Louis felt his smile grow, though, his face feeling warm when he turned to glance over at Harry. As before, his head was tilted back slightly to the left, fond smile on his lips as they parted only to mouth the song words along with the radio voice. His fingers tapped the beat of the song on his jean-clad thigh and his eyes were shut, this time not searching the dark in front of him, and resting.

Despite the fact that Louis wanted to speak out loud to the boy, he kept his mouth shut and simply reached over with his left hand to give his knee a gentle squeeze. Harry froze for only a second before smiling once again, relaxing back into the seat.

"Come on, show that lovely smile," Louis ushered with a grin when he glanced over at the boy, wanting to tell Harry his thoughts yet not wanting to interrupt him.

They drove in silence until Louis pulled up in front of Harry's house, his own smile growing a little at the light switched on in the living room. He could see the silhouettes of Harry's mother and sister through the slightly opened window of the room, the two with no doubt waiting for their baby to come home.

Louis turned to the boy once again, watching as Harry's tongue flicked out to brush over his own lips, moisturising. He took in a shaky breath, opening his eyes as he unknowingly stared right ahead at Louis, rubbing his hands together nervously. The older boy cleared his throat, chewing on his bottom lip through nerves.

"So," he began quietly, Harry echoing him with a 'so...' of his own as they sat in silence.

"I better get going," The younger boy stuttered out, glancing down at his lap as he ducked his head, face away from Louis' vision.

"Don't be shy," Louis whispered, hooking a finger under the boy's chin as he gently tilted Harry's head upwards, leaning forward a little. Harry could feel the boy's warm breath on his face, followed by soft lips pressing to his cheek, making him freeze instantly under Louis' touch.

"I had a lovely evening with you, Harry," Louis said quietly, when he leaned back. "And I know all of this was in order to apologise for me knocking you over but - I'd love to take you out more often - that is, if you'd like that, of course."

Harry laughed shakily , smiling up bright at Louis. "I would definitely like that,"

Louis' heart fluttered as he helped the boy out of the car and led him up the path leading towards his front door, stopping briefly to once again kiss his cheek before hugging him one last time, stepping away and watching in silence as Harry rang the doorbell.

As if on cue, the door was instantly opened by Anne, a curious looking Gemma with a croissaint in her mouth popping her head around the corner from behind the living room door.

A wide grin grew on the mother's face features, her eyes softening when she saw Louis, shooting her a shy smile.

"Hi, mum,"

"Harry, baby, hey," She coo'ed, leaning forward and as Harry's eyes fluttered shut she placed a kiss on his forehead. She turned to Louis and mouthed a thank you, receiving a silent nod in reponse. "Did you boys have a good time?"

"It was great, thanks mum," Harry muttered, his cheeks flushing with a light dusting of pink.

"In fact, I had a wonderful time with Harry," Louis informed her with a smile, watching Harry take a deep breath in. "And - I do hope I'll get to see your lovely son again soon. He's great, and I enjoyed my evening with him very much so,"

"Stop Louis," Harry whined, making the older boy laugh quietly as he ruffled the soft locks of curls on Harry's head. He squeezed the boy in one last hug before pulling back, letting Anne take her boy away.

"Well - thank you Louis. I'm really pleased you took Harry out - but, please, I hope you don't feel pressured in any way to have to go out with him again-"

"I wouldn't feel pressured - I had a great time with Harry and I would absolutely love to be able to do it all again," Louis replied, eyebrows furrowing at the mother's choice of words.

"Thank you, Louis," Harry squeaked in a quiet voice, smiling at what he hoped was the boy before disappearing into the house with one last 'goodnight'.

"Thank you so much - he's shining. Harry is literally shining, and it's all down to you, Louis. You made him so much happier and I thank you for that," Anne sniffled, gathering Louis into her arms to hug him, catching him by surprise. "Have a good night, Louis."

"You too, Anne. And tell Harry I hope he sleeps well. And Gemma, of course,"

Anne waved him off with a tearful smile, watching as Louis climbed into his car and drove away from their house.

-

"I'm coming!" A loud yell from inside the flat echoed through the entire building, making Louis shudder. He bloody hoped Zayn wasn't coming anytime soon. In under five seconds, the doors flung open, revealing his very wet best mate, hair dripping, eyes wide and towel wrapped around his waist. His face grew red when he noticed Louis. "God damn it, Lou, I thought you were Liam! Don't you have your own keys, anyway?"

"I forgot them," Louis shrugged, making his way into the flat and past Zayn.

"Fuck you," Zayn said, grabbing another towel from the rack in the batrhoom to dry his hair off before following his best friend into their living room, flopping down onto the sofa next to Louis, tossing the boy a bottle of water. "Where'd you even go, anyway?"

"I - well. Yesterday, when I was coming back home. There was like - a boy," Louis lamely explained.

Zayn's eyes instantly widened as he leaned forward to examine Louis closely. "...And?"

"I knocked him over - by accident, of course - and I took him out for dinner as an apology," Louis explained.

"Was he good?"

"What?"

"Did you get laid?"

Louis spat out his drink.

"What! No!" He exclaimed out loud, wiping the wet droplets from his chin, clearing his throat. Not once during the evening did he even think of doing anything like that with a person as innocent as Harry. "I'm not like you, mate - I don't meet people and fuck them on the first date,"

Zayn rolled his eyes. "That'd how I got Liam, didn't I? Did you even kiss him?"

"No - Zayn! I only just met the boy and we went out to dinner as... acquaintances."

"That's what everyone says," Zayn snorted.

"You didn't, though, did you? You told me all about your first date with Liam, with more detail than I would have liked to hear. Besides, it was way too graphic and I don't believe that was the first time you two ever went out,"

Zayn shrugged, shooting Louis a grin of his perfectly white teeth. "He's coming over soon - that's why you scared me, you dick. I thought it was Liam and... look at me," He motioned to the black hair that looked suspiciously gelled and the dark bags that coloured the skin under his eyes.

"What the fuck did you do with your hair?"

"I - I wanted to try something new. Shut your face."

"You stayed up until three in the bloody morning, Zayn."

"I can make myself look perfect in less than five seconds, though,"

"You better go do that, then. You look pretty dodgy,"

"Fuck you,"

Louis grinned at his best mate as he watched the boy leave the room, wiggling his hips on purpose, making the older boy laugh.

It was later that night when Louis was listening to the repetitive banging of Zayn's headboard against the wall in the room next to his, muffled by the television playing quietly in his room, flashing images. It was then that he realised he forgot to ask Harry for his number, and he groaned into the pillow.

The perfect mood always has to come to an end - he thought to himself, as he buried his face into his pillow.


	5. 4

"Wake up, sleeping beauty,"

Louis' left eye fluttered open, to be met by Zayn's toothy grin way too close to his own face. That was the thing with Zayn, actually - he did not have any limits.

"Liam made breakfast and said we should share it with you. Naturally, my first instinct was to disagree because I hate your guts, however you do know Liam-"

"Such a bloody good guy, yes, I know," Louis finished for him in a mumble, before twisting himself around onto his belly and burying his face into the pillow. "M' not hungry, not really,"

"Hey there, mate. You still full from your dinner last night?" Zayn waggled his eyebrows in an exaggerated manner. "If you know what I man, of course,"

"Fuck off," Louis offered politely into the pillow.

Zayn shrugged, patting the older boy on the back slightly awkwardly before stepping back and exiting the room, trailing his way into the kitchen where Liam stood in full form in front of the stove, pan full of something that smelt a lot like egg in his hand.

"He coming?"

"Yeah," Zayn said, stalking over to Liam and wrapping his arms around the boy in a hug. "What's that?"

"Scrambled egg. In fact all you have in his house are eggs. And bacon. And some leftover yogurt," Liam informed him.

Zayn's cheeks flushed a little, and he nuzzled his nose against the other boy's neck right as Louis' bedroom door flung open somewhere in the background.

"That's false. There's also cornflakes. But, yeah - we. We really need to go shopping, me and Lou,"

"You do," Liam confirmed.

"We do?" Louis stumbled into the kitchen, hand curled into a fist as he rubbed at one of his his eyes, the other tugging down on the plain white shirt he had pulled on.

"You do." Liam repeated the words, blinking slowly at the older boy.

"Maybe. Yes. But I'm broke," Louis told the two as he sat himself down on one of the kitchen benches, stretching his arms in front of himself and across the table with a loud yawn "Especially after yesterday,"

"God, did you take the bloke out to get caviar or what shit?" Zayn asked, mouthful of egg in his mouth, fork dangling out uselessly. Liam tugged it out.

"No. I don't even like caviar." Louis informed them with a huff. "Actually, we had fish. And a salad, and that was it."

"Your financial state worries me,"

"What bloke?" Liam interrupted as he placed down a plate of scrambled egg and toast in front of Louis at which the oldest boy rolled his eyes.

"He knocked a dude over and took him out as an," Zayn air quoted using his fingers. "-apology. I think that's the new word for getting laid,"

"I told you I did not," Louis pointed at him, finger trembling slightly in mid-air. "Get laid. I hardly know him,"

"What's his name, then? Can you tell us that, or is that top secret as well?" Zayn pushed.

"Ha-" Louis bit his tongue. Zayn didn't need to know who Harry was. Harry was his and he wanted Harry for himself. Neither Zayn or Liam needed to know. Harry wasn't theirs. He was his. "Jake. His name is Jake. Definitely not Harry or Harold or... Humphrey."

"You're going out with a dude called Humphrey?"

Liam grunted, glaring at Zayn. "He just said he's not. It's Jake. Do you even listen. What's his last name?"

"Can't a man keep a secret for himself?" Louis cried out, swallowing around his fork. "Leave me alone."

"You're welcome for breakfast,"

"Thank you Liam,"

"You're welcome," Liam repeated.

"Are you going to meet up with Jake again then?" Zayn asked, curious. It was a while since Louis had someone - or even left the house in the afternoons at all.

"I may," Louis stated simply, eating the last of his breakfast. "Now, if you excuse me, I have places to be."

"What, the supermarket?" said Zayn at the same time as Liam informed him of 'You work too hard, Lou'.

"And yet, my financial state still worries you," Louis shrugged, hopping off the bench. "I will be in my room if you need me. Please don't need me."

Liam shrugged and Zayn stuck his middle finger up at Louis - very gracefully, at that.

"What crawled up his arse?"

"Jake," Zayn waggled his eyebrows, making Liam hi his shoulder as he laughed, a distant bang of a bedroom door slamming shut forcefully echoing through the flat.

-

Louis didn't need Zayn or Liam or even Harry. Well - maybe he did need Harr, because Harry hadn't done anything against him apart from unknowingly ridding him off his last savings.

He shrugged to himself in the mirror as he pulled on a denim jacket and a pair of shoes that surprisingly did not have any holes in.

"I am a free, independent man and I don't need anybody." He said to himself, staring into his reflection's eyes. His signature quiff had dropped back into a somewhat amateur fringe and he looked as if he had went three years back in time. Except maybe then he did not have as much facial hair growing on his jaw.

Speaking of which, he forgot to shave.

With another careless shrug because he's Louis Tomlinson and he doesn't care, he left the room as he flung his leather bag across his shoulder, the few plastic band badges hitting against his hip.

"I'm leaving now," He called over his shoulder to Zayn and Liam who were still in the kitchen, swallowing down every last piece of anything eatable that they had in the house.

With a chorused 'okay' coming from the two boys, Louis left.

-

"That would be two ninety nine," Louis said in a monotone, any attempts at even trying to sound somewhat cheerful fading away at the sight of the woman in front of him.

"You know, I will never understand what difference that one penny makes to you. Can't you just round off the price and make it even?" She grunted, sighing heavily as if doing grocery shopping was the biggest chore she could imagine.

"I will never understand why people like you, madam, with only three items constrain from using self-check-outs and instead block the entire queue," Louis replied with a lazy blink of his eyes as he held his head up high, smirk pulling at the edges of his lips. He was confident and that was one of his best features.

"Rude," The woman muttered before placing down the few coins on the counter as she collected her wholegrain bread and milk and eggs.

"Have a nice day!" Louis called after her, before picking up the can of peas.

"Tomlinson?" He heard a familiar voice behind him and he tilted his head to the side to signal that he was listening. "I'm taking over, it's gone two already,"

Louis glanced briefly at his watch which was tightly clipped in place around his wrist and he nodded once at Mae, the girl whom he worked with. "Alright, let me just do this one," He smiled up at the familiar girl who clearly enjoyed eating green peas as she was about to purchase almost ten cans. Also, the girl who he knew as Gemma Styles.

"Green peas?" Louis asked, a lame attempt at a conversation.

"Yeah," She replied, huffing out a small laugh - something Louis had noticed Harry did quite often. It must run in the family, he guessed. "They're for Harry actually,"

Louis glanced up at her with a raised eyebrow, which made her giggle a little.

"He doesn't just sit there eating green peas all day, does he?"

Gemma laughed. "No - mum makes this salad thing and it's got green peas in. Harry loves it, like - you don't even know."

"So you need ten cans?" Louis asked as he scanned the shampoo.

"Let's just say Harry likes his food,"

Louis chuckled a little, nodding and politely helping her pack the groceries into a plastic bag. "Have a good day,"

"You too, Louis,"

Just as Gemma began walking away, Louis jumped up at the opportunity, untying his orange apron from around his waist as Mae took over. "Hey - Gemma?"

She turned a little, smiling. "Yeah?"

"Could you maybe tell Harry that I say hi? And that I miss him, a little."

She grinned, something shining in her eyes. "Will do."

-

"Jake has an older sister," Louis stated as he walked into his flat, dropping two bags of shopping down onto the counter before stalking into the living room where Zayn was cuddled in under a blanket, staring up at the TV. He glanced at Louis.

"Is she hot?" He blinked.

"Zayn, you are a twenty year old gay male,"

Zayn shrugged, his shoulders rising and falling beneath the blanket. "I know. But it's a stereotypical best mate kind of thing to say. I don't really care, I have-"

"Liam. I know." Louis finished for him with a roll of his eyes.

"You clever, clever child," Zayn grinned at him, flashing his teeth - something he enjoyed doing more than often.

"Yeah, whatever,"

"Why are you telling me that anyway?"

"Dunno. Thought I'd tell you. Also, he likes peas,"

"Wow, dude - got yourself a keeper," Zayn mumbled from beneath his blanket, his eyes set on the television screen once again.

Wordlessly, Louis left the room, sighing softly as he plopped his body weight down onto his bed.

His eyes adverted when he noticed that his phone screen was lightened up, and so he flung himself across the bed to pick up the device, unlocking the screen to the new message.

Hello, is this Louis?


	6. 5

Louis woke up to a beeping sound echoing around the room, instantly making him snap out of his daze. His eyes landed on the window which was slightly opened - he made a mental note to remember to thank Liam, because it definitely wasn't thanks to Zayn - before they once again landed on the now abandoned mobile phone, lying on his chest.

Louis stared at it for a few seconds in pure confusion before he had realised that he must have fallen asleep with it the night before.

He picked it up, clicking the home button instantly to check for anything new. To his surprise, there was three new messages, all from the same number - Anne Twist.

'It is Anne indeed, sorry for the late night text but I just wanted to ask you a question.'

Receiving no reply from a then sleeping Louis, she continued.

I know how fond you said you are of Harry and I absolutely hate to be a burden but he's been talking about you for ages.'

Louis' heart fluttered a little before he opened the most recent text, timed only minutes ago.

'And I have a gallery meeting today and I can't take Harry and I wanted to know if you might want to spend some time with him? He's a rather lonely lad, sorry about being rather pushy, it's completely up to you, it's just he's been asking for a while xx'

Louis felt the grin on his face growing as he read the text - and then again, and maybe even a third time, making sure he understood everything correctly. Harry wanted to spend time with him, he really did.

'Most definitely, Anne !! It would be a pleasure to spend some time with Harry, I'd absolutely love to. What time should I be there ?' He typed out, smiling one last time before hitting send.

Without bothering to wait for any sort of reply, the boy got himself dressed in a rush, pulling on a spare pair of sweats and a loose shirt. As much as he hated to admit it, he liked the fact that he did not need to bother with getting on his best attire to meet Harry - because the boy wouldn't know anyway.

When he was almost out the door, the key turned in the lock, his phone lighted up again, with another message from the woman.

'As soon as you can, please. We'll be gone, Harry will let you in. Let him know it's you, he's really excited. Thank you once again Louis x'

And with that Louis was out the door and down the stairs.

-

When he had pulled up to Styles' house, he was met with the familiar warm feeling in his stomach. He felt as if he had known Harry forever and has visited him in this house many times prior - even though this time was literally the first time he would actually visit the boy.

He had hesitantly climbed out the car, eyeing the windows upstairs. The blinds were drawn in the upstairs bedrooms, preventing any light from entering the rooms. The window in the living room was however wide open, the curtains blowing around in the slight breeze.

He made his way up the now somewhat familiar pathway, taking in a shaky inhale of breath before he rose his hand, curled into a fist to knock at the wooden door.

After knocking a second time, he heard shuffling from within the house and he grinned to himself, his brain screaming at him.

"Who's there?" The voice said hesitantly, making Louis giggle a little. Harry sounded slightly scared and somewhat shy, which only made him more adorable. No, Louis' brain screamed.

"It's me, Louis. Open up, Harry - I brought muffins," He informed the boy through the door in a louder than necessary tone, rustling the paper bag of muffins for exaggerated effect.

The turning of a lock could be heard, and then the door swung open, Harry standing right in front of him.

He looked even better than before, in a way. The curls on his head were slightly tousled from sleep, a few odd locks sticking out in random directions. He blinked his eyes open, raising his hand to give Louis a lazy wave as a small smile curled itself onto his chapped lips. "Hey,"

"You look cute," Louis said, grinning at the boy as he leaned forward to wrap his arms around Harry in a small hug. "Good afternoon,"

"Good afternoon," Harry repeated, voice betraying him and the fact he must have been asleep.

"I thought I wouldn't get to see you for a long, long time. And that kind of put me down. How are you, Harry?"

"Come in - m' good. A little tired, I was asleep until almost midday and then mum woke me up. Said you're coming over though, that made me feel better," He mumbled in a low voice, a cheeky smile on his face as he patted Louis on the back in order to usher him into the house.

"Oh, you charmer. How was your pea salad?"

"Pea sal- God damn it, Gemma?"

"I told her to tell you I might miss you, a little bit," Louis admitted, stepping into the house and finally looking around the hallway properly as Harry locked the front door behind him.

"She never,"

"What?"

"She never told me," Harry sniffed.

"Aw, well. I'm telling you now, yeah?"

"Yeah," Harry's cheeks grew a light shade of pink as he felt the boy's eyes on his face once again. "I missed you too, a little. It's been too long,"

"Yeah, two days," Louis laughed.

"Two days too long," Harry muttered, before stepping forward on shaky legs, arms outstretched, Louis easily stepping forward into his embrace. He let the boy hug him a little shyly as the two stood in the doorway in an awkward embrace. "What kind of muffins?"

"Blueberry," Louis mumbled in response, grinning when the boy nodded in acknowledgement. "What do you wanna do today, then?" He asked when they had eventually pulled away. Harry shrugged a little.

"I can show you the house, if you'd like," He offered, earning a pleased grin and a nod from Louis.

"Definitely,"

Louis watched as Harry placed his hands on the wall, trailing his fingers over the cream coloured wallpaper as he walked forward, turning the corner into the living room.

"This is where we all sit during most of the day. Erm - they watch the telly here so if you wanna do that you can. I tend to spend a lot of time on that sofa," Harry pointed towards a comfortable looking leather seat, making Louis breathe out a shaky laugh.

"Nice," The boy couldn't think of anything else to say, so he simply followed Harry towards the kitchen.

"Um - I like cooking, as unrealistic as it sounds," Harry laughed shakily, and Louis instantly reached out to grab his hand, squeezing it in reassurance. "I'm quite a good cook, I suppose. Which is most likely the only good thing about me,"

Louis sighed, "Harry..."

"No, don't. It's fine. Um. Moving on," Harry left the kitchen, still holding a firm hold on Louis' hand as he pulled him towards the stairs. "There's a bathroom over here downstairs and erm - I'll show you my room,"

Wordlessly, Louis followed the boy up the stairs, helping him up with a hand on his lower back, since Harry couldn't hold on the banister as Louis also held his hand.

They stopped in front of the first room from the left, Harry pushing the door open with his hip.

"Erm - yeah,"

Louis looked around the room. The walls were painted a pale peach colour, and though Louis had expected an empty room with maybe a bed and a wardrobe, it looked surprisingly normal with band posters pinned up on the walls and papers scattered all over Harry's desk. The bed was in the far left corner against the wall, a brightly coloured blanket draped over it.

Other than that, the room was extremely dark, Louis finally being able to look at the drawn blinds from inside the house.

"Why are-"

Harry laughed a little, interrupting him. "It's because of my eyes. Like - um. I like having them open, but when it's really bright it hurts. So. I have it dark, even though I can't tell the difference anyway,"

Louis was frozen on the spot. He didn't know whether to laugh with the blind boy or if he should cry. Harry was so innocent and it seemed that he out of all people did definitely not deserve such a disability, as mean as it sounded. When he watched more closely, he observed the boy rising and dropping his shoulders in a shrug before his bottom lip trembled a little.

"Oh, Harry," Louis sighed softly, stepping forward to wrap his arms around the boy, allowing him to press his face into his shoulder.

"It's fine, don't feel pity for me," Harry whispered into Louis' chest, his words almost incoherent. "I've been like this for long enough, you just remind me that not being blind is a thing,"

They moved through the house, Harry explaining every room in detail even though he was technically the one who Louis could explain the rooms to, despite it being his first time there.

"Your house is lovely," Louis informed him when they were done with the house tour, the two boys flopping down onto the sofa in the living room. Harry glanced at him, green eyes shining bright as he grinned.

"Thank you. I really like it too," Harry admitted, stretching himself out across the seat. "Are you hungry? Last time you treated me to such a great dinner and I think it might be my turn, this time."

"Um. Yeah, a little," Louis chuckled. Through his tone, it was obvious that he was not keen towards the idea of Harry cooking dinner himself. As if the boy could sense this, he smiled a little.

"Don't worry, I'll manage. I've been making dinners for ages," Harry assured him, before standing up and placing his hands on the wall, feeling his way towards the kitchen.

As he opened the fridge and started feeling around for ingredients, Louis wordlessly sat himself down at the kitchen table, watching Harry with curiosity in his gaze.

"Can I ask you a few questions?" Louis asked quietly, his voice soft. A bit like honey, it seemed to Harry.

"Shoot,"

Louis cleared his throat, his eyes following Harry who finally closed the fridge door and was now crossing the small room towards where the stove was. He felt a sense of protectiveness and he was somewhat afraid as he watched Harry flick it on.

"Why don't you wear those glasses? You know, the ones that look like sunglasses and most blind people I have seen wear - not that I have seen a lot - but - you don't wear them. What." Louis mumbled out, stumbling over his own words. He didn't want to seem pushy and he felt as though he was invading on Harry's privacy. He loosened up a little when he saw the boy's lips curl upwards in a small smile.

With no words said, Harry abandoned the food ingredients and crossed the room, stopping in front of Louis. He reached out - accidentally bumping his fingers against the boy's face to which he mumbled a quiet apology, instantly brushing downwards until his hands landed on Louis' shoulders. He left them there, opening his eyes and hoping he was looking at the older boy.

"You don't have to feel different around me, okay?" He asked quietly, to which Louis didn't reply. Taking the silence as a quiet urge to go on, Harry knelt down on the floor, keeping his eyes open and his hands on Louis' body, this time placing them on the boy's thighs as Louis was slightly taller since he was sat on a chair, unlike Harry who was kneeling down, sat down on his heels. "You can treat me - the same as you would if I wasn't blind - I haven't seen daylight for nineteen years of my life, Louis, and I am honestly used to it. Please don't feel nervous to ask me questions like that, it would mean... a lot to me," He stuttered out, his own breathing slightly shaky and his words betraying how nervous he, himself, was.

Louis didn't say anything, instead reaching forward to lace his fingers through Harry's where his hands on his thighs.

"I don't wear them because I don't want to stand out. Like, I've got a pair that I'll pull on sometimes but, you know. It's not a necessity, even if they do help-"

Louis interrupted him by squeezing his hand a little. "Sorry - what do they do?"

"Block out light. It's better when it's dark for my eyes because - well, because, obviously the bright would damage them even further. I don't see the point though, since they don't work anyway," Harry trailed off, his voice rising a pitch near the end of his sentence. "I don't like them because they make me feel different and I don't want people to look at me and go, 'oh, look, it's the freak who wears sunglasses indoors and who can't see anything,'"

"Harry..."

The younger boy reached up to rub at the corner of his eye with his hand, balled up into a fist. "Don't, Louis,"

"Sweetheart? You're okay, I've got you. Can I ask you something else?" Louis asked softly as he kept his thumb stroking Harry's hand gently.

Not replying through words, Harry slowly nodded in agreement.

"What happened to you, baby?"

Harry swallowed thickly, trying to keep his mind at pace. "Um. LCA two. That's Leber's congenital amaurosis, I was born with a gene that made me- uh," He trailed off, his eyelashes fluttering as he shut his eyes. He ducked his head a little, a stray curl falling onto his forehead.

"Harry? Don't you cry, please," Louis mumbled out, his eyes widening a little as he held onto the boy's hands tight. He reached up with his spare hand to thumb away at the tears gathering in Harry's eyes, dangerously close to spilling out. When Harry winced under his touch, Louis instantly paused. "Does that hurt you?"

"No, it's just. Oh, Louis," Harry sniffled, digging his fingers into Louis' sweatpants-clad thigh as his head fell forward, matted curls resting on the older boy's lap. He was trembling slightly - Harry was - and when he closed his eyes he only let out a louder sob when familiar darkness continued. It got so frustrating, and his eyes almost itched for any light - his hands were hurting and his knees were hurting from kneeling on the hard floor - everything was hurting, even his heart. Louis stiffened as Harry's body shook against him.

"No, no, baby," Louis rasped out, threading the fingers of his spare hand through Harry's locks, the hair not as soft as it seemed before. The boy was tensed up and he was crying into his lap and - Louis was honestly torn, not knowing what to do to soothe him. "Harry," he whispered, finally pulling his hand away from the boy's deathly grip only to place both his hands under Harry's arms, lifting him up easily. The boy's head was hanging, curls falling into his closed eyes sticky with tears, his lips parted as he breathed out shaky gasps. It physically pained Louis to see Harry this way, so he instantly pulled the boy onto his lap, sitting his down across his legs. Wordlessly, Harry buried his face into Louis' neck, mouthing at the warm skin as his eyes shed more tears. It hurt him to cry, but he couldn't even help it.

"Harry, sweetheart. Please stop crying, that must hurt you so bad," Louis mumbled into Harry's ear, lips pressed close to the boy's curls. His hand reached up to wipe at Harry's reddened cheeks once again, attempting to get rid of the tears trailing down the baby soft skin. "Does it hurt you? Harry - please, everything's okay,"

"T's not though," Harry muttered, sniffling once again as he nosed at Louis' neck. "It's not fine and I'm such an idiot - God, I'm. I'm so sorry Louis, I just want to see you so bad. I want to - oh God. I'm so sorry,"

"Don't you dare apologise." Louis said sternly, hooking a finger under Harry's chin and tilting the boy's head upwards to look at his face.

His eyes were rimmed with red, his eyelashes sticking together from the tears. What really got Louis, though, were the thick tears that leaked out of his eyes, slowly trailing down his cheeks.

"Can you keep your eyes open for me?" He rummaged through his pockets for tissues, one hand on Harry's back, keeping the boy steady on his lap. "Don't you dare close your eyes. Do they hurt, darling?"

"What, my eyes? They always hurt, they're useless," Harry mumbled, not helping the situation. He reached upwards to rub at his eyes again, his trembling hand being pulled back by Louis' grip before he managed to do so. "Louis-"

"Don't. Don't cry anymore, please, there's. Oh god, is that blood? Stay still," he felt his own tears pinching at his eyes as he reached upwards with a tissue, gently dabbing at the corner of Harry's eye, wiping away the tears carefully. "Does that hurt you, love?"

"No," Harry replied truthfully, focusing on staying still for Louis and not blinking. He swallowed back all the tears that didn't escape, wanting to do what Louis asked him to.

When after a few long minutes Louis had also wiped away all the teary evidence of Harry crying and offered the boy a tissue for his runny nose, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Harry's forehead.

"You're alright, baby," Louis informed him, Harry curling his arm around Louis' neck and laying his head down on the boy's chest, trying to get his breathing back to normal.

"Louis?"

"Yeah, darling?"

"Thank you," Harry whispered, pressing three soft kisses to Louis' collarbone.

After they had abandoned the idea of making dinner and had ordered a delicious pizza, eating together before listening to some shitty music channel, Louis helped Harry move upstairs and laid him down under the covers on his bed. Anne had returned home a few minutes ago, and despite it being only late afternoon Harry had claimed he was tired and in need of a nap. With a kiss to his forehead from Louis and a 'sleep well' also from the boy, he fell asleep.

Only a few hours later Louis was informed by the boy's mother that what he had witnessed was a mild panic attack that Harry was having, triggered by his thoughts only.

As Louis climbed into his car to drive home with his mind racing, thinking hard of what thoughts Harry could have been thinking apart from the fact he was unable to see.


	7. 6

Harry woke up late the next morning, his eyes itchy and his mouth dry. Not opening his eyes, he rolled over onto his back, trying to remember what happened last night.

When his mind drifted back to Louis witnessing what had happened to him, he cringed. Wordlessly he trailed his fingers down the blanket and pulled on a loose thread. He didn't want to get up.

He grunted when unexpectedly the cat the family owned jumped onto his body, paws digging into his lower stomach.

"God, bamb," He huffed. "Get off, you nasty cat,"

Bamboo the cat meowled, pressing its' little nose into Harry's neck. His fur was tangled up, probably from one of his early morning journeys around the neighbourhood, Harry's slender fingers pushing through the knots in the soft fur.

Harry eventually opened his eyes, wincing when he saw nothing but the dark. He hated to admit it, but every morning he still woke up hoping that his eyes would in fact magically work.

They never did.

"H?" Gemma asked from the doorway, watching her brother pet the cat rather drastically as Bamboo continuously winced at Harry's fingers rubbing at his body. "You up?"

"No," Harry mumbled in response, to which Gemma smiled softly and stepped into the room, sitting herself down at the edge of the boy's bed, Harry scooting over slightly to make space.

"How did you sleep?"

"Good," Harry paused for a minute, considering his question. "Is Louis still here?"

"Aw, no babe, he left last night, it's already morning," Gemma cooed, draping his arm around Harry and squeezing her brother tightly. "I bet he'll be back soon though,"

"What time did he leave last night?" Harry continued his questions, leaning down and resting his head on Gemma's shoulder.

"Just after he put you to bed, doll. He talked to mum for a bit and then she told him to go away and get some sleep himself, so he did,"

"...Oh," Harry considered that answer, deciding that it sounded alright.

"Do you want to call him later?"

"I don't have his number. And - I don't want to interrupt anything, what if he's busy? He can't spend every day with someone like me," Harry scrunched his nose up, sighing.

"Oh, come on, loser. He would abandon anything for you, H."

The boy paused, before tilting his chin up to face Gemma. "...Really?"

"Really, babe. Now, come on, let's get some food into you,"

 

-

 

Harry drummed his fingers on his thigh nervously, his leg bouncing up and down. His hand was beginning to get sticky as he held on tight onto Gemma's mobile phone.

"Hey," He instantly said when he heard the phone being picked up, an intake of breath coming from the other line.

"Harry, babe, hi!" Louis exclaimed. "How are you?"

Harry huffed out a small laugh, squeezing his eyes shut as he took in Louis' familiar voice. "I'm. Erm. I'm good, thank y-you. How are you?"

"Spiffing, love. Now that you're calling I'm feeling even better,"

"I just wanted to s-say sorry, I guess," Harry stuttered out, nerves clear through his shaky voice.

"What - no, Harry, don't! Honestly you don't need to apologise, nothing happened and it wasn't your fault anyway and - it's already in the past, there's nothing we can do about the past sweetheart,"

"Yeah but - I wish you didn't have to witness that," Harry trailed off, voice quiet.

"I'm glad I did actually! I feel like I know another special part of you and that's really important to me, Harry. Are you feeling better now?"

"I - um. Yeah. I'm better. Thank you, Louis," Harry mumbled into the phone. "I - This is so dumb and I feel like an idiot but. I don't really have a reason for calling. Um. Gem let me call you because she said you wouldn't mind but like if you're busy then-"

"Harry, shut up,"

"-then you don't have to talk but. Wait. What?"

Louis breathed out an amused laugh. "Stop rambling, love. I'm not busy - and I'll always want to talk to you, babe. It's okay. People call each other just to hear one another's voice, and that's okay."

Harry squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his grip on the phone. "Sorry."

"Don't be,"

"Mum says you talked to her last night,"

Louis laughed a little. "Yeah, babe, she's lovely. She showed me a couple baby pictures. They were pretty... amusing,"

Harry thought that if he could he would choke someone. He felt his eyes grow wide and a lump gathering in his throat. "What. No. Oh god,"

"What? There was nothing embarrassing, you were a cutie. Still are, actually,"

Harry felt the familiar pink warmth rushing to his cheeks, his face flushing in embarrassment. "Um. Thanks?"

"No prob. Hey, Harry? I hate to do this and I know I said we could chat but I gotta run, I am actually attempting a cake that I'm taking to my mum's. I'm visiting her later today and with the amount of sisters that I have it's impossible to arrive with empty hands,"

Harry smiled a little to himself, holding the phone a little closer. "Oh,"

"So. I'll get going. I'll definitely call you later today if you'd like that?"

"Yeah. I'd like that,"

"Alright, babe. Hear you this evening, then. Have a good afternoon," Harry could hear rustling on the other line and he could imagine Louis bustling around the kitchen in attempt to make a cake.

"You too. Say hi to your mum and sisters from a random guy called Harry whom you met on the street,"

Louis barked out a laugh. "Will do. Bye honey,"

"Bye Lou,"

The line went dead.

 

Harry considered putting the phone away and going back to sleep until the few dreaded hours went by so that Louis would just call him already. But. There were certain things to do.

"Gem, could you pick Niall's number for me please?"

 

-

 

"I think it won't explode,"

"I hope it won't explode," Louis echoed, pressing his forehead to the thick glass to look through into the oven, where in all its' glory a limp sponge was baking. "I say we did a pretty good job,"

"Yeah, for the eighth try," Zayn snorted, turning around to eye the ingredients scattered all over the kitchen. "There's flour in your hair," He stated, glancing at Louis.

"There will be flour up your fucking nose when I punch you,"

Zayn held both his hands up in silent surrender as he began to gather the mess of ingredients together and attempted to shove them back into random cabinets to get them away from the sight of any human eye. "You know, I'm just being helpful. Wouldn't want Jake to see white stuff all over you, would you?"

"Zayn, you are the absolute worst,"

"Love you too, babe."

They cleaned in silence, the hum of the radio interrupting them every so often.

"Hey. Zayn?"

"What?"

"Do you think a blind person would find it hard to look through our kitchen?"

Zayn paused. He turned around slowly, eyes narrowed. "What kind of question is that, Lou?"

"Do you think, though?"

"Yes, I reckon they would trip and fall on their face by the time they took a first step into our house,"

Louis shrugged.

 

-

 

"Lou - ten minutes. Hurry!" Jay Tomlinson exclaimed, glaring at her son who excused himself from the family game of monopoly in order to make a 'quick call'.

"Yeah - god, okay, I'm hurrying," Louis grunted, making his way out of the room. He stepped out into the back garden, remembering to lock the back door behind him. He sat down on one of the wooden benches, finally pulling his phone out.

After the few long rings, the familiar voice spoke up. "Hello?"

"Hi, Harry," Louis replied softly. "How's your evening?"

Harry cleared his throat, smile evident. "Um. Good, I've been napping for a while. How's your evening with your family?"

"Fine, they're making me play monopoly and I predict one of us to go mad and give up soon. Hey, babe?"

"...Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Harry took in a shaky breath. "Yeah,"

"What do you do all day? Like. I don't know. I usually have something to do because I watch the telly or just talk to Zayn or something. What do you do? It's been bugging me all day, why don't you... say, have a friend over?"

Silence overtook as Louis listened to Harry's uneven breathing. He huffed out a little laugh. "I don't... I don't really have friends that I could have over. I mean. I have Niall."

"Oh Harry. I'm sorry, love."

"It's okay. How did your cake work out?"

Louis smiled a little, shuffling his boot-clad feet. "Quite well, actually. It's been all eaten, so I'm guessing it was fine,"

"Damn. Save some for me next time," Harry said, laughing a little.

The older boy felt the corners of his lips curl up into a wide smile, and he could physically feel himself glowing. "You're too cute,"

When Harry didn't reply and all Louis could hear was shaky huffs of breath exhaled into the phone, the boy spoke up once again.

"We can make cake together one time. You can cook, you said,"

"I'm actually quite good at red velvet. Not quite good with the icing - you can do that part,"

Louis snorted, "Alright, alright. We'll make a cake. And then we'll eat it."

"That's what you tend to do with cakes..."

Louis laughed a little. He could tell Harry was beginning to get more confident around him - even though, he wasn't technically around him. He also took notice that Harry seemed more confident over the phone; his voice not shaking, his stuttering subsiding. He couldn't say he liked this Harry more - because the shy boy with curls sticking out in every direction possible and bleary green eyes was who he knew better.

"I won't keep you from your family any longer," Harry mumbled, his voice soft. "Have a great evening, Lou,"

"You too, Harry. Hey, babe, do me one quick favour?"

He could hear the young boy hesitate for a couple of seconds, before a quiet 'yeah' sounded from him.

"Smile, lovely,"

Louis could almost see Harry's wide grin.


	8. 7

"What is this on your desk? You need to get a grip mate, absolutely gross,"

Harry wiggled around a little on the spot where he was seated on his bed, back only separated by a pillow from the cold wallpapered wall. The mattress squeaked a little from the weight - the Irish boy who invited himself over ever so kindly was clearly sitting himself down next to Harry. He curled one of his hands around his wrist.

"Am I skinny, Niall?" Harry asked quietly, completely ignoring Niall's comment about the mess on his desk. He felt the boy freeze beside him.

"Skinny? Yeah, I'd say so. Look - you can curl your fingers all the way around your wrist. I can't do that,"

"Really?" Harry asked, blinking his eyes open, the blackness turning a shade lighter. "Is that good?"

"I dunno. Do you want it to be?"

Harry shrugged, shoulders raising and falling. "Are you?"

"Dunno," Niall repeated, sighing a little. "Have a feel," He added in a quiet voice, trying to be helpful as he reached out to take hold of Harry's wrist, pulling his hand closer to him.

Harry gently reached out to pat at his friend's knee, fingertips trailing over the boy's clothed thigh hesitantly at which Niall let out a huff of laughter.

"Don't laugh at me," Harry pouted, pulling his hand away.

"M' not. You're tickling me," The blonde boy informed him. "So, what's the verdict?"

"I couldn't even see properly. You laughed,"

"I didn't laugh at you, idiot. I wouldn't do that,"

Harry didn't say anything. He let his eyes slip shut again and leaned his head back against the wall.

"H?" Niall asked, grunting a little before Harry could feel him moving a little closer, his arm curling around the younger boy's shoulders. "Come on, Harry, you know I didn't laugh at you,"

"Yeah," The boy sighed softly, letting his head drop down onto Niall's shoulder. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anythin', mate,"

"Promise not to laugh?"

"Harry..."

"Sorry. Um."

Niall squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "Come on, spit it out."

"Do you - uh. Are you... I mean, you might not know yet, but. Do you think you're... uh, straight?"

He felt the boy freeze a little beside him. "Yeah, I'd say so. Why, is young Harold having doubts about his sexuality?"

Harry grunted. "Leave me alone,"

"You started the subject!" Niall exclaimed, laughing a little. "T's alright, don't worry.

"Right."

"Where's all of this coming from, then?"

"..."

Harry shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He didn't really know what the situation was with Louis - or whether he could even put a name to it. In addition to that, he wasn't sure whether he was quite ready to tell Niall.

"You've gone all red, man. What's up?"

"I've met... um, somebody,"

He could hear Niall's quick intake of breath beside him. "Harry..."

No, no, it's fine. He's lovely - he really is. He kind of knocked me over-"

"What!"

"-By accident, of course. And then he wouldn't stop apologising and he took me out for dinner and he wasn't even bothered by the fact that I can't see which felt great-" Harry cut off. He blinked his eyes open, turning his head to where Niall was seated.

When said boy didn't say anything to his rambling, Harry dropped his head. Did his best friend not want to listen to him?

"Harry," Niall whispered, as if he could read what Harry's mind was saying. The boy felt strong arms wrapping around him; he was pulled close to a warm body, a pair of soft lips pressing a quick kiss to his forehead. "I'm so happy for you," Niall continued, to which Harry squirmed a little. "Tell me about him?"

"...His name's Louis," Harry replied hesitantly. He didn't want to tell Niall everything in case he'd get laughed at - which he was used to, yet it was something he still knew he hated. "He has a big family and four sisters."

"How old is he?"

"Erm,"

Niall groaned. "Honestly, H, you don't even know the basics?"

"It's not like it's the most important thing that matters!" Harry exclaimed in a protest, huffing. "To me it matters that he's nice to me - that's more than I've ever wished for,"

"Right. Okay - whatever you say. Please stay safe, though. You don't know him that well - you don't know what he could do."

Harry didn't reply. He shut out what Niall was saying by now and tried to focus on what he had already said. It's true - he didn't know Louis all that well. He was a new person in Harry's life and the blind boy didn't know what he could possible want from him. Maybe it wasn't even friendship that he was after - maybe he would simply use Harry like everyone else has before throwing him away and out of their lives. He squeezed his eyes shut. That was something he didn't even want to think about.

-

"Zayn!" Louis shouted into the phone, tugging his suitcase behind him, wheels clicking down the marble staircase leading him down from the train station. "I told you to clean up, you massive twat!"

"I'm sorry!" Zayn's voice protested into the phone. "I just slept too much - you know how it is - and there was literally no time-"

"I don't care!" Louis cried out as he finally stood flat on the pavement, swearing under his breath when after examining his suitcase, he noticed that one of the wheels fell right off. "I need the place clean by tonight, and I asked you so bloody kindly to do it but /no/, of course not, you decided that your beauty sleep is more important than your best mate's life-"

"Shut up, man. Get home quickly and we'll clean up together, yeah? It's only fair. Why the sudden rush to clean anyway, what's wrong with ya? Your room is like a cave,"

"..."

"It's that Jake dude again, huh?"

"Leave me alone. I need you out of the house by eight,"

Zayn let out a surprised huff of laughter into the phone. "Wow, someone's getting some-"

He didn't have a chance to finish as Louis cut him off, rolling his eyes. He flung his arm out carelessly in front of a hackney cab, effectively stopping it as the olive-skinned taxi driver behind the wheel glared at him.

After Louis uttered out his address and buckled himself in, he once again pulled out his phone, scrolling until he found the name he was looking for and pressing the device to his ear once it began ringing.

After four rings, the young girl answered.

"Hey, Louis!"

"Evening, Gemma. How are you?"

"I'm great, thanks. I'm not the reason you're calling though, huh?"

Louis laughed a little, glancing out of the window. A few drops of rain water rolled down the thick glass. "Is it that obvious?"

"Duh," She snorted. "I'll get him,"

He could hear the girl's quick steps up the stairs, and then her voice calling out her brother's name. He heard muttering followed by a squeak of a door and then the phone being passed to someone else, until a shaky breath could be heard.

"Louis?"

"Hey, love. How are you?" Louis noticed the visible change in his own tone when he was talking to Harry. His usual voice turned softer and he could feel the gentle smile that always grew on his lips whenever he heard the boy's voice.

"Oh - um, I'm good. Yeah, I'm good. H-how are you?"

"I'm great, baby. I'm actually in the taxi home now, and I wanted to ask you something."

Harry breathed out into the phone. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Louis smiled. "Want to come over to mine tonight?"

He could hear Harry pause and perhaps consider the offer. His breathing was slightly shakier than before, and he huffed out a somewhat amused laugh. "For real?"

"Yeah, I'm not even joking. You get the full experience of visiting my flat - isn't that amazing?"

"It actually is," Harry laughed quietly. "I don't get invited around- uh. Yeah. I'd like to come, please,"

Louis sighed a little, shutting his eyes as he leaned back against the car seat in relief. "That's good, when do you want me to pick you up?"

He heard some rustling of bed sheets on the other end - he assumed Harry was still in bed even though it was already late afternoon. "I don't mind, w-whenever is fine..."

"Okay..." Louis trailed off, once again glancing out of the window. He was only about five minutes away from home. "I give you two hours - is that fine?"

"Yeah. Please. Thank you,"

After saying a quick goodbye, Louis ended the call and pocketed his phone. His main priority at the moment was that had two hours to finish cleaning the house - something his so called best mate forgot to do.

-

When the two boys were done mopping the entire wooden flooring of the flat, Zayn let out an exaggerated, tired sigh as he plopped down on the sofa only to be pulled back up by Louis.

"Now get out,"

Zayn rolled his eyes, stretching his arms above his head. "I would just sleep anyway, if I stayed,"

"Don't you have Liam, anyway? You can go over to his. Bye. Have fun,"

"You're so unbelievably rude," Zayn replied, but he smiled a little. "Have fun, okay? And say hi to your boyfriend for me,"

"He's not my boyfriend," The older boy flushed, shooting Zayn a glare. When the dark-haired boy didn't flinch under the dark look, he smiled as well, accepting the hug Zayn was now giving him. "Thanks. I really hope this will work out, you know?"

"Yeah. Lou, you really need somebody - you're not you when you're lonely. And you look so happy right now; this dude is really making you a better person. Stay safe tonight, yeah?"

Louis smiled at his best friend, ducking his head shyly. "Thanks, Z,"

"Not a problem," And with that, Zayn was out of the room, already pulling on his jacket and waving to Louis before he made his way out of the door.

After Louis was done getting dressed and fixing his hair as best as he could, he climbed into his car, heart beating fast.

It wasn't everyday that he would spend an entire evening with a beautiful blind boy.


	9. 8

When Louis pulled up in front of the Styles home, the first thing he noticed was Harry sitting on the swing, wrapped warm in a jacket and a woolly scarf around his neck. His long legs were hanging off, the tips of his shoes barely grazing the ground. The second thing he noticed, was a cane, propped up against the tree beside the swing.

Wordlessly, he turned off the car, eyes still on the younger boy, swinging back and forward deep in thought. Louis leaned out of the car window after rolling it down, smiling a little at the boy.

"Harry!" He called out, which seemed to snap the said boy from his daze, head snapping upwards and eyes instantly opening.

"Louis?" He replied hesitantly. When he got a call of 'yeah, it's me,' from the boy he quickly stood up from the swing, doing a little stumble, cheeks flushing a pretty pink as he pulled his bag up and over his shoulder and picked up the cane. He made his way down the pathway and through the gate, coming to a stop in front of Louis' car, smiling shyly.

"Hi," he breathed out.

Louis smiled, opening the car doors of the passenger side, allowing Harry to slip into the warmth of the car. "Evening, love. How are you?"

"I'm good," Harry was still flushed pink from the cold, hands seeking warmth in his pockets.

"Missed you," Louis mumbled, unbuckling and turning towards the boy, gently reaching out to wrap his arms around Harry's neck and pulling him closer, breathing in the scent of pine wood and nuzzling his nose into the navy blue scarf wrapped loosely around the young boy's neck.

"I m-missed you too," Harry muttered, hesitantly hugging Louis back in response before he slowly pulled away, buckling in as the older boy did the same.

"I got rid of my roommate, so we have the place to ourselves," Louis quietly explained. He liked the fact - as mean as it sounded - that he could stare at Harry as much as he wanted. The boy couldn't know if Louis was being a creep and eyeing him so he was free to do so - and he enjoyed it. "You have a cane,"

"Um. Yeah," The younger boy hummed in response, his cheeks glowing with a pink blush. "I don't know where I'm going so..."

Louis nodded. Clearly Harry only used a cane in new places, and he felt slightly embarrassed about it.

"Does it help you find your way around?"

Louis saw Harry nod slowly out of the corner of his eye. "Yeah. It kind of lets me see - in a way, y-you know? Like if someone was walking in front I could see them. Well not see them. I would probably hit them with the cane. By a-accident, of course-" Harry stopped himself by biting his tongue, and he let out a nervous huff. "Sorry,"

The older boy could feel his smile growing. "Don't say sorry. It's fine - keep talking, I'm listening. So how come you don't always have one?"

"I don't like always having a cane. Uh for one it makes me stand out and sometimes I don't need it since I know my way around my house and the area. Don't know where you're taking me though so..." Harry laughed nervously, lifeless eyes fixed on his own lap. "I need some help getting around. And when you bring me back you'll have to let me know exactly where I am,"

Louis cooed softly. "Of course, babe."

Out of the corner of his eye, the older boy saw Harry smile down at his lap, playing with his own fingers. "Thanks,"

"Not a problem. You can grab your cane and stuff, we're almost there,"

He noticed Harry tense up a little as he scrambled to gather all his belongings, making sure his bag was in place. When he stopped the car, Harry's hands were shaking where they were resting over his crossed legs.

"Home sweet home," Louis muttered to which the other boy laughed nervously, eyes searching the darkness ahead of him. "I'll get out first, then I'll go round the other side to get you. Sounds fine?"

Harry quickly nodded, to which Louis climbed out of his car and made his way around, opening the door. The younger boy blinked up at him as the evening outside air hit his face before carefully stepping out, hands outstretched in front of him.

"Here," Louis mumbled softly as he linked the fingers of both of his hands with the boy's, gently pulling him out of the car and kicking the doors closed after them with his knee. "There's no lift so I'll help you up the stairs,"

Harry nodded hesitantly, feeling Louis wrap one arm around him and start leading him into the building.

"Louis!"

When the two boys were about halfway up the staircase, a cheerful voice called out, catching the two's attention. Louis glanced up at the source of the voice, grinning nervously when he noticed his neighbour and best mate wrapped warm in a thick coat and a dog by his feet, jumping in a circle in excitement.

"Hey Liam," He replied in a soft tone, eyes smiling at the boy as he led Harry up the last three steps. He took a nervous glance in the blind boy's direction, squeezing his hand a little. "Here, we're on my floor, love. This is Liam, he's my neighbour. He has a dog."

Harry smiled shakily, raising his hand to wave at the general direction where he thought the boy would be standing.

"Hi," Harry mumbled shyly.

"Hello@!" Liam said, glancing at Louis quickly and motioning to his eyes, to which the oldest boy gave a quick nod. "Hope you guys are alright. I have to go walk Loki now," He gave a nod of his head and a wave of his hand and neatly stepped down the stairs, the small husky following him with a loud bark.

"I love dogs," Louis said with a sigh as shoved his key into the lock of the front door, leading Harry forward with an arm curled around his waist.

"I'm more of a cat person, myself," Harry stated, smiling a little.

"Gotta love cats," The other boy agreed, finally pushing the door open. "In you go, then. This is my home."

Harry stepped inside as Louis let go of him to lock the door behind them, frozen in place, the bottom of the cane pressed against the wooden floor. He jumped the slightest bit when he felt Louis' strong arms wrapping around him from behind.

"Hey," Louis muttered, lips dangerously close to the boy's ear. "How are you feeling?"

"A little lost," Harry admitted, leaning his head back against Louis', breathing in a heavy sigh. "I wish I could see your house,"

"Harry..."

The younger boy shook his head. "No - sorry, it's fine. What are we doing, then?"

"I was thinking maybe we could just order takeaway and listen to music and just relax a bit, you know? If you'd like that, of course,"

Harry smiled a little, offering a quick nod of his head. He lets Louis curl his fingers around his arm and gently lead him into a room into which he carefully stepped in, pausing hesitantly.

"Come, sit," Louis said quietly, leading him over to the couch, moving over a pillow and helping him sit. Harry could hear the creaking of the floorboards before he felt the sofa dipping beside him, a warm presence close. "Gonna order food, what would you like?"

Harry hesitated a little, not sure if he could simply suggest a type of food so he sat quietly, eyes unknowingly fixed on the DVD shelf above Louis' head.

"Okay..." Louis cleared his throat. "Um. Chinese?"

"Sure," Harry whispered, nodding slowly as his eyes trailed down to his lap, listening as Louis phoned the local takeaway. He reached over to untie the scarf from around his neck, feeling the sofa beside him with his fingertips before placing the scarf on it, continuing to pull off his jacket. They say every house has their own certain smell - he couldn't ever agree because the only houses he had ever visited were those of his family - rarely - and now that he was seated in Louis' living room he could smell the faint vanilla scent, mixed with something stronger. He decided that it was a nice smell and he could easily get used to it.

"Harry?" The older boy snapped him out of his daze with a hand on Harry's knee, making the boy tense up slightly under the touch. "Sorry. I got chicken fried rice and chicken noodles - erm, spring rolls-"

"Thank you," Harry said shyly, smiling a little at Louis. "That's great. Thanks."

"You can relax, you know..." Louis mumbled, feeling his cheeks flush pink as he took his hand away from Harry's knee. "I know it must be a little hard for you. Can I hug you?"

Harry paused, before nodding slowly. He felt Louis' hand back on his knee, fingers hesitant and gentle. He could feel Louis shifting over closer to him, the other arm curling around his neck, pulling their bodies together. Louis felt warm and soft and gentle and Harry realised that he wasn't tense - he was calm and relaxed in Louis' hold. He felt safe - he felt at home.

Harry let his head rest on Louis' shoulder, the grip of the boy's fingers around his hip tightening.

They sat, unmoving for a surprisingly long time - they didn't realise how long it was until the shrill sound of the doorbell sounded throughout the flat, making both of them snap back into reality. Red-faced and pigeon-toed, Louis scrambled up from the sofa to open the door. He grabbed the boxes of food from the man, shoving a £20 note in his hand and saying no more, he locked the door.

Before he went back into the living room, he placed the boxes on a drawer and nipped into the bathroom.

"God damn it," He muttered to himself, staring back at his reflection in the mirror. His cheeks were flushed, eyes tired and hair messy. He didn't know what he was getting himself into, getting closer to Harry. The boy was fragile and somewhat always felt small - maybe not literally, but definitely mentally and Louis didn't know whether he was ready to help him - to be there for him, to be helpful. Louis couldn't find the strength to help himself, let alone someone like Harry. But for now, he wanted to be Harry's friend. He wanted Harry to tell him things he wouldn't tell anyone else, he wanted Harry to trust him.

He groaned to himself, splashing his face with cold water before walking out of the room. He gathered the boxes in his hands and made his way into the living room.

He paused in the doorway, eyes fixed on Harry.

The younger boy was seated comfortably on the sofa, cheeks flushed pink and a warm blanket around his shoulders. His long legs were tucked under his body, his head tilted back to lean against the sofa. His eyes were closed, pretty curls framing face.

"Got the food," Louis said quietly, as to not disturb Harry, sitting back down beside the boy and placing the boxes between them.

"Thank you," Harry nodded, sitting up slightly. His eyes fluttered open, the green colour now familiar to Louis. He was still slightly mesmerised by how beautiful Harry's eyes were, how bright they shone despite the fact that they didn't actually work. Every time Harry opened his eyes, Louis felt a pang in his heart - he knew how hopeful the boy was after nineteen years of blindness that his sight would appear as a miracle, despite it being technically impossible.

Harry's eyes were pretty, overall. And so was the rest of him.

Louis helped him to open the box of takeaway, placing it in his lap and handing him the fork, figuring it would be stupid to hand a blind boy chopsticks. Even he - as so did half of the world - struggled with using them, let alone Harry. To this Harry smirked a little, ducking his head as he slipped the fork past his lips, swallowing the portion of rice.

It was even the way Harry ate - completely mesmerising. Louis stared at him in interest as he silently ate his own food, eyes roaming over Harry's features, taking in every part of him.

After the comfortable silence during which they ate, Harry reached out with his hand to feel out the coffee table in front of him, placing down the empty box. He sat back in his place, turning his head to where he knew Louis was seated and smiled softly, hoping his eyes were actually fixed on the older boy. "Thanks. That was good,"

"Thank the Chinese takeaway, not me," Louis joked, swallowing the last piece of chicken before chucking the plate onto the table beside Harry's box.

"Oh," Harry paused, slight confusion painting on his features. "I would but-"

"I'm joking," Louis replied softly, scooting over to Harry once again. "Wanna listen to music? Nap? We can have a lazy evening, and then you could stay over if you'd like. Zayn won't be back until tomorrow, he's with Liam."

"Sure," Harry smiled once again, and Louis noted that the small smile never really left Harry's face. If his lips weren't curled into a smile, Louis could still faintly see it - unless he was imagining it."Thank you. Liam?"

"That's Zayn's... um. Boyfriend, I reckon."

"Oh," Harry seemed to take this information in easily, accepting it quickly with a nod of his head. "Can we nap? Sorry - just for a little bit-"

"Of course, babe." Louis mumbled quietly, scooting over so that he was almost sitting behind Harry. He gently ushered Harry to lie down across the sofa and he squeezed himself between the back of the couch. He curled his arm around Harry's middle, pulling him close as he threw the furry blanket over them both.

They were lying down in complete silence, Louis finding sudden interest in Harry's hair. He couldn't exactly see anything else with the boy lying in front of him, messy locks in Louis' face. When he finally thought Harry had dozed off, he rose his head the slightest bit off the cushion to press a small kiss to the back of the boy's head. To his surprise, he heard Harry's breath hitch a little as he huffed out a sigh he seemed to be holding in.

"Lou?"

Louis' heart fluttered at the boy's words. "Yeah, babe?"

"Thank you,"

"Nothing to thank for," Louis whispered, once again pressing his lips to the boy's head. "Go to sleep, it's okay."

Harry knew it was okay. He knew he was okay with Louis' lips against his head and Louis' arm curled around his waist, Louis' fingertips gently running over his hipbone in a calming action. He knew he was okay.


	10. 9

"Here,"

Louis placed down the last blanket he had owned on the pile of sheets that was slowly beginning to build up on the sofa, pulled out to sleep on. He then turned to where Harry was seated, watching momentarily as the boy touched his own arm with gentle fingers, trailing over the skin. He was sitting on the armchair across the other side of the table, long legs curled under his body, eyes closed and a small, tired smile playing at his lips. He had also noticed how Harry perked up at the sound of his voice, raising his head.

"Thanks," he said, stretching his arms above his body and uncurling his long body, standing up by feeling the side of the armchair with his fingers. He stood a little unsurely for a second before trailing over to where he now knew the sofa was - however, he did not expect his knees to hit it so early, especially since it was unfolded, which sent him flying onto his face on top of the sofa bed.

"Oops," he giggled, cheeks flushing pink. Louis smirked a little, reaching down to pull Harry up so that he was properly seated. He himself sat down at the edge of the bed.

"Alright, this is where you sleep tonight," said Louis softly, reaching out to wrap his fingers around Harry's wrist. He placed the boy's hand on top of one of the soft white pillows, watching as he curled his fingers into the material, feeling out where the pillow ended and where the duvet was. "I'll be sleeping in my room just down the hall, if you need anything just call for me, yeah?"

"Got it. Thank you," Harry nodded. He grinned up at where he hoped Louis was and his smile only widened when he felt a soft kiss being placed on his forehead.

"Night, Harry. Sleep well,"

"Thanks. Good night," Harry replied quietly and when he heard the creaking of the mattress that signified Louis getting up, followed by footsteps, the quiet creaking of the old floorboards and finally a light switch being flicked off, he finally climbed up fully on the bed, raising the duvet.

He inspected the area first by feeling it out with his hands, making sure he knew where the bed ended so that he wouldn't fall off. He made sure his glass of water was safely placed on the coffee table and his cane was leaning against the bed. After he was sure everything was fine, he lifted up the pile of blankets that Louis has gathered together and climbed under.

It felt weird sleeping somewhere that wasn't his usual bed, where the material under his head wasn't what it always was, where his makeshift bed was harder than his mattress at home. He felt a bit like he was sleeping on a rock at first and he shifted over to make himself comfortable plenty of times, finally being able to rest peacefully. He knew Louis was being genuine when he offered up his own bed and for himself to sleep on the sofa but Harry had instantly protested, shaking his head and telling him no.

Now he wasn't so sure of his decision, actually. What if Louis was - say, doing something? What if he sneaked out and left Harry alone? What if he was standing in the doorway, laughing at Harry not being able to close his eyes and go to sleep? What if he didn't want Harry to stay the night?

With questions clouding his mind, Harry finally let himself drift off to sleep.

-

The fresh air blew the thin white curtains, making them flap uselessly in front of Louis' face. The pale sunlight coming from the rising sun entered the room in streams of grey, painting light over Louis' blue bed sheets, the floor, the walls. And Louis' face.

Which is mostly why he opened his eyes and instantly furrowed his eyebrows.

It was rare that light entered his room - any light, in fact. Usually when he woke up he was met by the soft thudding of rain against his window and grey sky outside. Today, however, there were only a few clouds from what he could notice from his spot in bed. He could also very clearly see that he left his window open, and it was in fact quite cold.

He glanced over at the alarm clock by the side of his bed, huffing out a laugh at the time. It was barely five in the morning, and he wasn't fast asleep. Surprisingly, he found that he wasn't actually tired or sleepy - he felt more awake than ever. And cold.

Quietly, he climbed out of bed and pulled on a pair of thick socks he grabbed from where he found them on the floor. Most of the things in his room were on the floor, in fact, and he didn't plan on changing that any time soon.

He trailed out of his room, leaving the doors open. When he reached halfway down the hall, he could hear the soft, quiet snores coming from the living room and he smirked to himself, taking time to stop by the living room. The glass on the coffee table was completely empty, the cane was knocked over as well as a flower vase on the table. Harry looked a bit like a worm, - or a cocoon, if you'd like. He was curled up in the many blankets and bed sheets, but overall he looked mostly warm. Louis noticed how his pink lips were slightly parted and only half of his face could be seen from the bush of curls on his head and the duvet thrown over it.

Wordlessly, Louis made his way over to where Harry was and tucked him in, fixing his pillow and brushing his hair back with his fingers. Harry let out a satisfied mumble and instantly drifted back to sleep, pressing his face further into his pillow.

Giggling a little, Louis left the room and instantly went to turn up the heating. He had never felt so cold - it was a little dumb leaving the windows open. He popped the kettle on, checking if there was any water in and fixed himself a cup of tea. With this he padded back into the living room, turning on the television on the quietest volume and he watched the early morning news, sipping on the milky tea.

He was brought out of his trance by a phone ringing on the bedside table. He glanced over, checking that it's Harry special phone. He wasn't quite sure what to do at this point - it wouldn't wake Harry up because it was set on vibrate, making the table rattle a little. Louis reached over and picked it up, staring at it.

"Mum," it said out loud. It also read the same word across the screen, and Louis hesitated, before pressing answer - or what he hoped it was.

"Harry!" A loud woman's voice shrieked. "Finally. You didn't answer the texts! Gemma said you're at a friend's-"

"Hi," Louis said a little unsurely, at which the woman paused. "Anne, right? I'm Harry's friend, Louis. We met when I was picking him up for that dinner. He's asleep and his phone was ringing so I-"

"Is he okay?"

Louis froze, blinking slowly. "Uh, yeah? Why? He's fine,"

"How long has he been asleep for?"

Louis glanced over at the clock, counting the hours in his head. "I say about nine hours,"

"Oh," She said, hesitating. "Okay. Sorry. Harry doesn't leave very often,"

He didn't know whether to feel insulted or not. "Oh?"

"Sorry, I don't mean that in a bad way. I'm sure you're great. How's my boy doing?"

"He's fine," Louis repeated. He could already see how protective Harry's mother was already, and he couldn't really blame her. He let his eyes roam over to where Harry was fast asleep, and he was slightly intrigued by how his eyes seemed to be moving under his eyelids as if he was having a visual dream. "Yeah, he's fine. I'm looking after him, like you said,"

"Oh," She sounded a little surprised that he remembered her words, but he could almost hear her pleased smile. He was glad he was coming along as well mannered. "Well, I'll leave you two then. Tell Harry to give me a call when he's on his way back when he wakes up, okay?"

"Sure thing," Louis said, nodding a little only to roll his eyes at himself. No one could see him.

With that thought, he paused. It was weird that there was someone in his house yet no one could see him. Of course Harry was asleep but thinking that even when he was awake he can't see Louis seemed strange - and not only that, but also new.

After getting back to his early morning television, a couple of long hours later he noticed the pile of blankets shifting a little out of the corner of his eyes, to which he instantly turned his head.

Leaving the boy to it and not saying anything, Louis watched as Harry's head poked out from the blankets, eyes opened and blurry and tired, blinking slowly. His face was flushed and his hair was sticking out in every possible direction, and he looked more confused than ever.

"Morning, Harry," Louis finally said, to which Harry turned his head in the direction of the voice in shock.

"Uh,"

"It's Louis," He reminded him.

"Oh, yeah," Harry muttered, blinking slowly. "I know. I'm just a little lost."

"Yeah," Louis drifted off.

"Morning,"

"Morning, Harry." Louis repeated, grinning.

"Can you help me? What-"

Louis finally huffed out the laugh he was holding in at which the younger boy giggled a little, his face flushing. He pushed himself up carefully and waited until Louis was at his side.

He helped Harry sit up and propped up a few pillows against the wall, leaning back against them together with the boy. He leaned in and kissed the side of Harry's head - it was his signature thing, he decided. Head kisses.

"You're facing the living room and if you straighten out your legs now you'll reach the coffee table. Want some tea, babe?"

Harry took a moment to take in this information, and then suddenly he looked like he was enlightened. "Oh yeah, the armchair's over there, yeah?" He asked eagerly, pointing to where the armchair actually was.

"Yeah, babe. Well done," Louis laughed.

"Oh, the tea. Yeah, please,"

"Coming right up,"

"Thanks,"

"Not a problem," Louis jumped up, climbing off the bed and making his way back to the kitchen. When he came back with two mugs - he already drank all of his own and another cup wouldn't do anyone any harm - Harry was curled up once again where Louis left him, eyes open and staring at the television screen in front of him.

"Alright?"

"Yeah. There was a storm in Spain. Everything's fine, though,"

Louis rose his eyebrows, not being able to stop himself from letting out a surprised laugh. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, they said," Harry nodded, taking the mug from Louis' outstretched hand. "Thanks."

"Not a problem. You keep saying thanks,"

"Oh yeah, I know. I just do it,"

"Your mother raised you well, huh?" Louis joked, settling back down next to Harry and leaning against the pillow.

"Definitely,"

"Speaking of Anne, she called this morning,"

Harry rose his head in confusion. "She-"

"Your phone. I picked it up - sorry. She said that you're to give her a call when you're on your way back. Oh and she said she's glad you're hanging out with an amazingly fit bloke like me and that she hopes you propose to me as soon as possible because I'm just so cool,"

"First part, I believe. Surprisingly I think you added something of your own to the second part, huh?"

Louis giggled. "Maybe,"

"Oh well. Not that I disagree,"

Louis could feel himself flush a little. He knew that Harry didn't even know what he looked like and that was sort of beautiful to him - that the boy valued him for his personality.

"Cheers, I try,"

Harry laughed a little, slapping Louis jokingly on the shoulder with the back of his hand. They both settled back down to listen to the TV - Harry for obvious reasons, and Louis because he was too busy staring at the boy beside him with a wide grin on his face.

They both jumped a little at the sound of the lock turning, and then the door being pushed open. All the way from the living room Louis could feel the chilly air running down his spine, and Harry's eyes snapped open in panic.

"Shit," Louis cursed to himself, jumping up from the sofa which in turn startled the younger boy. "Shit, shit. Sorry. I'll be right back-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence as Zayn trailed into the room, unwrapping his scarf from around his neck, shaking out his hair. "Morning, favourite one! Freezing out there, mate. How was your night - you get laid yet?-" Zayn only paused when he noticed Harry on the sofa, nervously and quietly sitting down, his eyes fixed on his lap. He looked at Louis who looked somewhat guilty and upset - but then his sadness disappeared when his eyes met Zayn's, flashing with anger.


	11. 10

Wordlessly, Louis watched as his best friend walked over to where the blind boy was sitting on the sofa. Before saying anything, Zayn glanced over at the older boy to check if it's alright if he talks to Harry, to which in turn Louis didn't reply once again.

"Hi, I'm Zayn. And you're Jake I assume?" He said, reaching out with a hand, inviting Harry to shake it.

Harry's mind was a mess right now. Jake? Who was Jake - and most importantly why was Zayn calling him by that name? Was Louis already seeing someone? Well - of course, Harry was sure there was no chance for him anyway, but.

"Um. I'm Harry, a-actually." He mumbled, and then pushed himself up, looking over to where he hoped Louis was. "I-I'll better get going. Thanks for. Um. Letting me stay."

"Wait - Harry! Stay," Louis instantly seemed to have snapped out of his gaze, to which Harry only shook his head a little.

"No, it's fine. I'll go now. Bye, Zayn," He waved a little to where he knew the doorway was and he assumed Zayn was somewhere in that area. He pushed himself off the sofa and shakily stepped forward, bracing himself against the wall with his hands.

"No - wait! Harry, Hazza, baby, I need to - I'll drive you home, wait, babe!" Louis rushed to his side to help him, curly his small hand around Harry's arm, which Harry - to his surprise, shook off. "Harry?"

"I'm fine. Thanks, Louis. I'll see you around," Harry muttered, nodding a little and slowly but surely making his way out of the living room, leaving Louis standing in the doorway in pure shock and Zayn sitting down on the edge of the sofa bed, mind puzzled.

"What the fuck just happened?" Zayn asked when Louis finally turned to him.

"He's upset, that's what. Here, I can't blame you, you didn't know. I fucked up." Louis groaned, half wanting to run after Harry and half wanting to curl up into a ball and die.

"It's okay, come here," Zayn cooed, reaching out with both arms and letting Louis fall into them, the older boy curling up on his lap.

"He's so lovely and I always have to mess it up," Louis mumbled into Zayn's chest, to which the other boy quickly ran his fingers through his hair in a comforting action.

"It's okay, babe, come on. It's fine. He'll forgive, whatever the matter is. It's fine, come on, L." He sighed, pulling a little at Louis' hair. "I don't get it. What's actually happening and in this case, where's Jake?"

"Jake's not real, if you didn't get that part. It's been Harry all along," Louis muttered into Zayn's shirt. He clung onto his best friend as if it depended on his life. "I said his name's Jake because I didn't want you finding out who Harry was - a little selfish, that. Didn't want you to find out who he was so I'd get my hopes up."

"And. He's like - blind, yeah?" Zayn asked quietly.

Louis nodded slowly. "Oh, yeah. I don't see how that matters though,"

"Lou," Zayn mumbled, pushing the boy forward a little so that he looked him in the eye. "You know how big of a commitment that would have to be, yeah? Dating a blind kid - and he is a kid, what, just about older than sixteen?"

"He's nineteen," Louis muttered.

"The point I'm trying to make is that he would need you all the time. He's relying on you, babe. He can't see for himself and are you ready for a big thing like this? You can't just make this a hookup, L. This is serious - the boy needs someone, you can tell. And are you ready for that to be you?"

Louis sniffled. He ran over the words his best mate said, looking around the living room. Sure, he enjoyed spending time with Harry but - it was true. Harry's life was so much different from his and just because he was missing his sight. He needed care - he needed love. And Louis was pretty sure that he wouldn't be good enough to be that someone that Harry needs.

"You're...right." Louis smirked a little, pulling on the end of his sleeve to wipe at his teary eye. "Never thought I would say this but you're actually right, mate. I - I like him, he's wonderful. But. He needs someone better,"

"That's not what I was-"

"It's true though," Louis pointed out, leaning back and sighing a little. "Thanks, Z. You're the best. Should I check up if he's alright though?"

"I wouldn't. He needs time, babe. What do you say we invite Liam round and watch a couple movies?"

"You dick, you just spent your whole night with him!" Louis giggled, but nodded with a smile. "Sure. You go get him, I'll tidy up a little,"

Zayn grinned, pressing a kiss to the top of Louis' head. He jumped off the sofa and skipped towards the front door, disappearing.

Louis smiled a little as he cleaned up the bed. He pushed the pillows up against the walls, and then paused. His fingers came across something out of place and when he picked up the object he found out it was a balled up piece of paper.

Confused, he picked up the piece of paper and unrolled it, straightening it out. His eyes roamed over it, mind puzzled until he realised.

It was Harry's.

There were scribbled letters everywhere, varying from tiny 'a' to giant blobs that resembled other letters. Harry was trying to write.

Louis could imagine Anne helping him - that's most likely how it went. Showing him how to hold the pen. Leading his hand.

He could briefly make out a "Harry" and his heart did a little flutter when under scribbles of names of members of the Styles family, his own tiny "Louis" was there.

He instantly scrunched up the piece of paper, squeezing his eyes shut. He felt as though he was invading Harry's privacy and he couldn't do that.

"Mate, you alright?" He could feel Liam's warm palm on his shoulder, making him snap out of the daze. He turned around to where the boy was standing behind him, sympathetic look on his face. "Zayn told me, it's fine. Come on, mate. Movie night."

Louis nodded, tight smile on his lips.

-

"It's okay, babe," Gemma stroked through Harry's curls with gentle hands, fingers gently scratching at his scalp in a comforting manner. "Told you boys aren't worth it. Come on, it's okay,"

Harry was currently openly sobbing into the pillow. He didn't care who saw - he thought Louis was different. He thought Louis cared, he would be there for him.

Of course, he was wrong.

It's not like Louis stood up and said he wanted Harry out - in fact he did the opposite, offering to give him a ride home as promised. Yet, here he was, sobbing into his pillow.

"He - he-"

"It's okay. Come on, now, don't cry. Maybe he didn't mean to make you upset-"

"He. He told his friends - they. He has a boyfriend. He-" Harry cut off with a hiccup to which Gemma responded with a rub of his shoulders.

"It's fine. Don't think about it. He's not worth that - don't cry. Babe, don't cry. It only hurts your eyes more-"

At this Harry let out a strangled whine, pushing his face further into the pillow. "I don't care about my eyes! They don't work a-anyway, what's the point-"

"Hey, don't you say that. You'll be fine. The doctors said-"

"They said it will improve. I'm nineteen years into my life and I can't see anything and I'm completely useless-"

"Don't say that, you know it's not true. Get some sleep, H." She gave one last pat to Harry's head and then stood up, watching as the boy nodded, tired out, and cuddled in amongst his pillows.

-

"Why did you do that to him!"

Louis sleepily glanced at his phone, making sure whether he was right and it was really Harry's sister yelling at him right now. It was.

"What-"

"You know what, Louis Tomlinson! My brother really likes you and you just let him leave like that - I can't believe it, I was actually pretty keen on you and now he's so upset and he cried himself to sleep and it's all your fault and I was actually-"

"Gemma!" Louis laughed nervously. "He's crying?"

"Not anymore he's not, you dickhead! He's asleep-"

"Well then let him sleep. He needs his independence," Louis said quietly. "Sorry. I mean - I'm no one to tell you how to act around your brother but - it's just. I didn't let him leave. I thought he needed time. He - it was all going fine. I miss him, Gemma - Harry means so much to me and he's wonderful and I want him - and that's the problem, he deserves the best and I can't give him that."

Gemma was silent for a few long minutes.

"Well, you need to tell him that."

"I know. He means so much to me. Gemma, I don't think I can handle it. And - I don't know how to deal with it."

"Well, you better work something out, your boy's tiring himself out with tears."

"Oh god, poor baby. I - I'll be there. I'll be there when he wakes up, okay? Hang on," Gemma could hear the protesting mutter of something in the background, followed by the jingle of keys and loud footsteps. The next thing she heard was the slam of a car door and the engine starting.

"I'm on my way. Gemma - I. God. I don't know what to do."

"For now, I suggest you concentrate on driving,"

"I am. Speakerphone. What should I do? I want to be with him. I'm not ready. Fuck."

Gemma giggled a little, glancing over to where Harry was curled up on his bed.

"Don't you worry about that. He just needs you. Harry never gets this attached to people, you know."

"Yeah. I know. Okay. I'll be there in five. See you. Oh god."

Louis hung up at this point. Only three minutes later she could hear a car stopping in front of their house, and she instantly ran for the front door so that the boy wouldn't have to ring the doorbell and possibly wake Harry.

"Hey," Louis panted out when he noticed Gemma. He followed her into the house, nodding at the stairs. "He in his room?"

"Yeah. I'll keep mum downstairs - just, please. Make sure he's happy. He was really upset and - do the right thing, Louis."

"I will. Thanks," He smiled at her gratefully to which she gave him a small nod and he started up the stairs. He had no idea what he was going to at to Harry at all.

When he pushed open the door to Harry's room, he was slightly overwhelmed by the lack of lighting. It smelt really nice - like burnt candle and fruit or something. He instantly noticed the ball of duvets on the bed, especially with the quiet sniffling coming from under it.

Wordlessly, he trailed over to the bed, gently reaching out to touch the duvets. They shifted a little, and Harry's head appeared.

"Gem?"

"No - it's me,"

Harry sighed a little, letting his head drop down onto the pillow. "Louis."

"Yeah. I came to apologise,"

"Oh,"

Louis groaned, dragging his hand down his face. He sat down on the edge of the bed, his face flashing with hurt for a second when Harry scooted further away. "Look, Harry... I. I really am sorry. I think it's better that I explain everything now, huh?"

"Oh yeah, I think."

"I told Zayn that your name is Jake because you - you're special to me Harry. I didn't want to get my hopes up - if I told my friends about you I would be endlessly teased by them and that would mean I would just get my hopes up."

"Get your hopes up?"

Louis closed his eyes, taking a deep breath in. "I like you, Harry. And I'm not ready. You deserve the best - and I can't give you that... wait - no, wait, are you crying? Harry-"

He was silenced when the younger boy moved quickly, throwing his arms around his neck. Louis felt the boy's tears staining his shirt and his fingers threading through his hair.

"Thank you," he muttered into his chest.

Louis just closed his eyes, letting himself see what Harry saw.


	12. 11

When Louis woke up, he instantly felt uncomfortable. A pang of pain pierced through his body, and he winced as he shifted slightly. He slowly became aware of his surroundings, feeling the hardwood floorings under his knees as he opened his eyes, eyelashes fluttering at the unexpected darkness of the room. He moved so that he was no longer applying pressure on his knees as he was kneeling beside a bed and then he finally looked up.

His own fingers were laced through another boy's, slotted together perfectly. Louis' eyes trailed up the boy's arm of porcelain skin, his body hugged with a loose white t-shirt. A blue duvet was tucked around him, his head ducked downwards, loose strands of hair falling onto his face.

"Harry?" Louis muttered, as quietly as possible, unsure of whether the boy was asleep or just resting. When he received no reply but a huff of air, he gently untangled himself from Harry's body and stood up on shaky legs.

The room was dark, so he assumed it must have been quite late. Making sure, he quickly checked his phone, his assumed thoughts being proved as the bright "9:20" shone on the screen.

Louis cursed under his breath. He didn't want to leave just yet despite it being late evening. He didn't want Harry to wake up to an empty room and no hand in his, and certainly, he didn't want to go back to his own flat.

He shifted from one leg to another, chewing on his fingernails as he considered the options. He could potentially slip back into his kneeling position and pretend he never woke up. Either that or he could excuse himself, say goodnight to Harry's mother and go back home, which was probably the option that made more sense.

Without another thought, he leaned down and placed a small kiss on Harry's forehead before rushing out of the room. He stopped by the living room where Anne and Gemma glanced up at him from the show they were watching.

"Hey, Louis," Gemma smiled at him, Anne doing the same.

"How are you boys?" The older woman asked, shifting a little so that there was room on the sofa, and she raised the cup of tea in hand into the air. "Tea?"

"Oh no, no, thank you. I'm actually going to be leaving now-"

"Oh, why? Do stay longer, it won't be a bother at all!" Anne exclaimed, to which Gemma only nodded, having gone back to watching the programme and only briefly listening.

"I wish I could but I have work first thing tomorrow, better get some sleep." Louis chuckled. "Harry's been asleep a while now, I didn't wake him up so I was thinking - if you could tell him I say goodnight?"

"Oh, of course, darling. Definitely. Have a good night's sleep," Anne smiled at him, and Louis returned the kind gesture.

"Thank you. And goodnight to you too," Louis waved at the two women before pulling on his shoes and leaving the house.

Once he arrived home, he was welcomed by Zayn burping in his face.

"Hey, dick," The younger man grinned at him, his hand busied by stuffing a handful of crisps into his mouth. His eyes softened a little as he watched Louis walk into the living room, dropping his jacket on the floor and flopping down onto the sofa carelessly. "How did it go?"

"Oh," Louis sighed a little, slightly surprised at the fact that Zayn cared enough to ask. "I told him the truth - he was fine with it, really lovely about it. I don't know how he feels about it all, though. Hey - let's just forget it for now. S' that Big Bang theory?" He mumbled, nodding towards the television screen.

"Oh, yeah. That's good. Yeah," Zayn glanced at him, but smiled softly as he offered the pocket of crisps to the boy who plopped himself down beside him, curling into his side.

Zayn turned his head to the side, glancing at his best friend. He knew that it was all fine when he received a soft smile in response.

-

Harry turned onto his side. He could hear the distant mutter of the television in the background, most likely playing a re-run of a show his mother watched. He sighed a little, the hum of the voices in the background slightly annoying but at the same time somewhat soothing, making his time at home not so blank as it would have been.

The whole house was silent, with Gemma and their mother out shopping - Harry was told that his sister was soon to go off to university, and so they were doing last minute shopping so that she could pack - the only thing keeping Harry sane being the television and the phone that Gemma left for him in his left hand.

However, he was still bored.

He thought back to the day before, to Louis kneeling beside his bed, probably watching him with gentle eyes. Louis was always gentle with him - and so, so kind. Louis was beautiful - inside and out. Harry found himself craving the sound of his soothing voice, his presence beside him. It had been less than twelve hours, yet he was already missing Louis.

"It's twelve thirty six," The mechanical voice of the phone spoke out when Harry held down the button, to which he sighed. His family wasn't to be back for another hour or two and Louis was ought to be at work. His only choice was Niall - not that he was complaining.

"Hey, Gem!" Niall shouted out in greeting, to which Harry chuckled quietly.

"It's me,"

"Oh, that's disappointing." Niall joked in a monotone, before perking up. "What's up, mate?"

"Mum and Gemma are out, I have nothing to do," Harry whined into the phone, letting out a small sigh.

"What about your boyfriend, then? What's his name - Louis?"

Harry felt his face flush, considering himself lucky that he was talking over the phone and not in person. "Louis is not my boyfriend," He stuttered out, to which Niall barked out a loud laugh. "Give it a break, Ni,"

"Aw, Harry's embarrassed," Niall continued. Harry wanted the ground to swallow him.

"Please, stop."

"How is he then? He a good kisser? Have you had your first date? Oh wait - I remember now. He took you to that restaurant, didn't he?"

"Niall!"

Niall giggled for another minute, followed by silence.

"Hey - but. For real, Harry. Is he not your boyfriend?"

"I've only known him for like three weeks!"

"So?"

"Of course that wouldn't matter to you-"

"Hey! But you do like him, don't you?"

Harry was silent for a minute.

"Maybe. But."

"But?"

"I'm me,"

"Stop being an idiot!" Niall groaned into the phone loudly. "Can I meet him? I wanna meet him,"

"Uh,"

"Come on. You're bored - invite him over, I'll come aswell," Niall urged on, making Harry sigh a little. He could - potentially - do that. Of course. But he felt a little silly asking Louis over just a day after he saw him. It wasn't even a day. It's been like ten hours.

"Okay," He says, despite his mind screaming otherwise. "Okay. Give me an hour,"

After a quick goodbye to Niall, Harry had rung Louis' number. To his dismay, he hadn't received an answer instantly. He sighed, dropping down into the sofa as he threw his arm over his face. Now he was stuck in a big hopeless pool of loneliness-

His thoughts were cut off when the phone started blasting out a Backstreet Boys song and the mechanical voice spoke out with a "Louis". Harry huffed. It didn't even pronounce his name properly.

The 's' is silent, damn it.

"Hiiiii," Harry dragged out, letting out a sigh of relief when he heard the steady breathing on the other line.

"Hey, babe!" Louis chirped. Instantly, Harry could feel a gentle smile curling onto his face. Quite weird, that. Just a word from the other boy and his face immediately lights up. "Just gone to lunch break, sorry I didn't answer straight away. What's up?"

"Oh," Harry closed his eyes. "You're at work?"

"Finish at one thirty. Why, you miss me?" Louis replied jokingly and laughed a little until he realised Harry wasn't doing the same. "You're serious?"

"Uh."

"You're too cute."

"Am not. Just lonely."

"My poor baby," Louis sighed, and paused for a second, as if thinking. "Tell you what. When I get out, we meet up. Yeah?"

"Cool," Harry said. It wasn't cool. It was far more than cool. "Cool."

"Cool," Louis echoes.

"Can I invite Niall?"

"Absolutely. Would love to meet him."

"Cool," He repeats for the third time. "Will you come here?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. That's... cool."

"Cool,"

Louis laughed, and Harry closed his eyes, listening to the sweet sound.

-

The shrill sound of the doorbell pulled Harry out of his daze, as he listened to Niall rambling on about his French homework. Harry couldn't speak a word of French, and having Niall moan about French proverbs was only giving him a headache.

Before he was able to pull himself up off the sofa, Niall was already rushing past him. From the shuffling he could briefly make out Niall climbing over the back of the couch, peeking through the blinds. Then he heard a laugh.

"Got yourself a keeper," Niall giggled, at which Harry could only roll his eyes. Truthfully - he was slightly nervous. Niall was his best friend - and Louis was a new friend who he was extremely fond of. It would be a shame if the two did not get on well.

"Okay. God. It's him? It is him, right?"

"Of course it's him, bloody hell. Who else would you have knocking on your door?"

"Technically he rung the doorbell-"

"Mate, you're not funny. Go on, he's still ringing."

They both paused, listening to the doorbell going off.

"Okay-"

"Wait," Niall exclaimed all of a sudden, stopping Harry. The younger boy felt his best friend jump over to stand next to him and loop his arm through his, gently pushing him forward. "I wanna look like a really good friend."

"Let's hope you're a good actor," Harry replied jokingly, to which Niall scoffed.

They made their way over to the front door, which Niall quickly pulled open.

"Hi, I'm Niall. Our arms are linked because I'm a really good friend who helps Harry,"

Harry sighed heavily, shaking off Niall's arm. He could already feel his pink flush growing over his cheeks, at which his best friend barked out a loud laugh.

"God, look at you." He snorted, shaking his head. When he finally turned to the amused-looking boy still standing outside, he grinned widely. "You're Louis?"

"Louis Tomlinson, nice to meet you mate." He flashed a grin at Niall, at which the blonde boy laughed out loud.

"I already like you, mate. Now do something with those flowers, they're droopy."

Harry perked up, finally trailing his eyes upwards. He had attempted to keep his gaze on the ground, slightly embarassed over the fact that he couldn't properly socialise as Louis and Niall were. However, he could now feel Louis' gentle hand brushing over his hip, gentle fingertips trailing down the length of his arm. When Louis reached his hand, he pulled his fingers apart from the tight fist they had formed.

"Hi, H." He said quietly. Harry liked when he did this. He liked when Louis talked to him quietly, it felt more intimate. It felt like the words between them were private, instead of lingering in the air between them. "Got these for you,"

Harry curled his fingers around the object Louis had placed in his hands, finally making it out to be a boquet of flowers tightly wrapped in clear foil, tied with a string. He could only imagine how red his cheeks were right now.

"Thank you," He whispered, hoping his gaze was fixed anywhere but Louis' face.

"They're lavender roses," Louis said, quickly biting his tongue. "I mean. Fuck. Sorry. I keep doing this."

Harry was aware that now Louis had pulled the door closed behind him and Niall went back into the living room, seeing as the noise of the television was now playing louder than before.

He giggled a little, curling his fingers a little tighter around the boquet. He was sure it was beautiful - even holding the precious flowers felt special, only because they came from the most beautiful person he knew.

"No worries," he muttered, leaning down to nuzzle his nose over one of the roses, the petal soft against his skin. "They smell lovely."

"Mmm, that they do."

"I'm sure they look lovely too," Harry added with a little nod, and he shot a smile in Louis' direction. "I'll pop them into a vase. You - you can go into the living room, if you'd like."

Louis didn't reply, but Harry felt the gentle brush of his fingers over his bare arm. He could feel the shudder going through his body as Louis gently brushed past him, and made his way into the living room.

He stood on his tip-toes as pulled out a vase of one of the kitchen cupboards - the prettiest vase his mum has. He knew it was pretty because Gemma always complimented how pretty the lillies look in it, and his mum always put her favourite flowers in it.

Roses were his favourite flowers now, probably.

Without thinking too much of everything, he filled the vase with water and gently placed the flowers inside the vase. Moments like this he wished he could see - he wished he could appreciate how lovely the flowers he was given were, how they looked standing on the kitchen counter. He wanted to keep the images forever in his mind and locked away inside his heart.

With a little sigh, he brushed his fingertips over the silky petals, picturing the roses in his mind. He could briefly remember his mother telling him all about roses when her first roses grew beautiful and bright in the garden. He could remember her telling him about how roses are considered sacred, how they're millions and millions years old, how it's America's favourite flower. He remembered her telling him how roses can show emotion, passion, feelings. He remembered how red means love, how black means farewell, how yellow means friendship.

And how lavender means love at first sight.


	13. 12

Just because the roses are lavender doesn't mean Louis is in love with him.

Harry was currently finding it rather hard to control his breathing. He wasn't sure how to calm himself down, mostly because there was a beautiful man on his left and their legs were touching and that one particular man just gave him lavender roses.

Maybe Louis didn't know about rose meanings, Harry told himself repeatedly in his head. In the background he could hear Louis chatting away to Niall about last night's football game and he could feel the sofa dipping under Niall's weight where he kept bouncing excitedly in his seat. He could also feel Louis' gentle fingers soothingly running down his hip. He was so gone.

Maybe Louis just chose any flowers that his eyes laid upon in the flower shop. Maybe he didn't really mean to give Harry lavender roses.

"What's on your mind, mate?" Harry was pulled out of his endless train of thoughts by Niall tapping him on the shoulder. He raised his head, hoping he at least glanced in his best mate's direction.

"Nothing," He replied automatically. He could feel Louis' fingers freeze on his hip.

"You okay?" muttered the oldest boy, gently giving Harry's side a squeeze, to which the latter simply nodded.

"Do you mind if I keep my eyes closed?"

With instant replies of 'no' from both boys, Harry nodded a little and leaned back, letting his eyes slip shut. His eyes were tired from pretending. He was glad he moved back. At least now Louis wasn't rubbing his hip - that might have not ended so well.

"Where's Anne?" Niall asked after a few minutes of silence other than the mutter of the television.

"Out," Harry replied simply. When he received no response, he squirmed a little. "With Gem. Clothes shopping, I think. She's moving out soon,"

"Gemma?" Louis asked from beside him.

"Mmm,"

"She grew up so quick," Niall muttered, and Harry could hear him swallowing thickly. "That'll be you, soon."

Harry huffed out a small laugh. "Yeah - or maybe not,"

Niall sighed. He always got this pessimistic response from Harry about his life - he knew the blind boy wasn't looking forward to his future. He always predicted himself to be lonely and to struggle in life - which, Niall of course did not agree on.

"Hey, don't say that," Louis piped up, and here it was - Harry could once again feel his presence beside him, his gentle fingers now giving the boy's thigh a small squeeze. "I'm sure you'll find a lovely boy and a good job and you'll be a great dad to some great kids one day,"

"But-"

"But he's blind," Niall supplied for him, rolling his eyes as he reached into the bowl of popcorn balanced on his lap. "He thinks his life is all over before it's even started purely because one of his body parts doesn't work properly,"

"That's not true," Louis quietly said. Harry could feel his flush growing, spreading up his neck and colouring his cheeks. What Niall was saying was what Harry really thought - it's not like he can change his state. He suddenly felt a close presence and his breathing got shaky as Louis' fingers buried themselves into his hair, scratching at his head ever so gently. "That's absolutely not true. Just because you can't see doesn't mean you can't work, you can't listen and you can't love. You can be whoever you want to be and this will not stop you, you hear me?"

Niall watched in silence as Harry went pliant under Louis' touch, leaning into his hand. And when he nodded shakily to the boy's words, he could feel his grin growing.

"Sorry," Harry muttered. Wordlessly, he buried his face into Louis' neck, taking in a deep breath as he nuzzled his nose into the soft skin. He felt like he belonged there.

"Don't be sorry," Louis muttered. Harry could feel Niall lifting his legs off the floor and stretching them out so he lied across the sofa comfortably.

"Thanks," he said quietly, and Niall gave his leg a squeeze as a reply. Louis only held him closer, pressing his lips to the top of his head, placing a quick kiss. 

-

Later that night, once Niall has fallen asleep on the sofa and when Anne and Gemma came home to a pile of three boys on the sofa, Harry was a stumbling mess.

As he stood in front of the mirror in the small downstairs bathroom, he felt sick to his stomach. He didn't know what it was - and he wanted it to go away. His mind kept drifting back to Louis who was finishing his portion of chips in the living room and those damned lavender roses proudly standing in their vase on the kitchen counter.   
Love at first sight.

Harry wondered what that was like - to fall in love with someone. Especially only after seeing them once - and whether that was even possible. He sighed shakily as he gripped the sink tightly, his head leaned down.   
If he could stay in this bathroom forever, he would.

After a few long minutes, he could hear quiet shuffling outside the door. Five gentle knocks sounded throughout the bathroom, and he hummed in response. When the door opened, he instantly knew who it was.

"My baby," Anne coo'ed as she wrapped her arms from behind her son, tucking her face into the crook of his neck. "So proud of you,"

They stood in silence for a minute, before Anne spoke again.

"He is lovely. And the flowers he got you are beautiful,"

"He is beautiful," Harry muttered. Then he flushed, swallowing thickly.

"That he is," Anne confirmed with a quick huff of a quiet laugh. "And I'm glad you see it - even if it's not physically,"

"It's hard not to see it,"

Anne squeezed him a little harder. "And he and I both think you're the most beautiful person, honey. You're both beautiful, beautiful people and it's wonderful to watch."

"Mum," Harry whined.

"I'm only saying the truth, sweetheart. You need him," Anne kissed his cheek gently, and slowly pulled away. "Back to the living room?"

Harry wordlessly nodded, letting his mother lead him back into the room. He stumbled a little over Niall's foot but luckily landed safely on the sofa, and Louis' hands were instantly on him. He had never felt like this before.

And even later that night when everyone had gone to bed and Niall was asleep on a mattress on the wooden floor of his bedroom and he was standing in the frame of the front doors with Louis' warm hand in his and the moonlight was dark over them, he still had a heavy weight on his heart and an itch behind his eyelids that he willed to go away.

"Did you like the flowers?"

They're like you - everything, Harry wanted to say. They're soft and gentle and love at first sight.

"I loved the flowers,"

I loved today, I loved your fingers in my hair, I loved you holding me close, a quiet voice somewhere screamed.

"You are so great," Louis said after a minute, laughing a little. "I'm sorry. You're just such a great person, Harry. You glow, and you're so fascinating,"

Harry didn't reply, but he felt Louis' fingers heavy between his own. He stumbled forward into his arms as Louis tugged on his fingers.

"Do you know what they mean?"  
Harry simply nodded, blinking up at Louis. And it's not like he could resist it. With Harry's closed eyes and long eyelashes and his beautiful soul, he couldn't do much else than lean in and press their lips together.

And Harry was frozen, unmoving, silent. And Louis didn't move, just kept their lips still, soft against each other. He felt Harry - with both of their eyes closed in the pure darkness and with them joined and his lips tasting of nothing in the most wonderful way, he felt Harry.

When he pulled away, Harry stumbled back. His legs looked like they were a minute from giving out and the only thing holding him up was Louis' hand in his. He was shaking and he was flushed pink and his eyes were open and wide and shiny as he blindly gazed up at at the glowing stars.

And Louis was so in love.


	14. 13

Harry's breathing was never this fast. He was choking on air as he raced up the wooden staircase, footsteps loud as he made his way upstairs. He pushed the door to his room open, instantly pausing when he felt something beneath his feet.

"Watch out, bro," Niall mumbled. Harry sighed quietly, leaning down to feel where the boy's makeshift bed on the floor was and collapsed onto it, cuddling into Niall's side. The older boy wrapped his arms around his best friend, pulling him close and wrapping the covers around both of them. "What's up?"

"He kissed me," Harry heaved out into his chest, tone high and breathing quick. He felt Niall tighten his arms around him.

"He did?"

Harry nodded slowly.

"And?"

The younger boy huffed. He reached up with his hand, gently running his fingertips over his lips. They didn't feel any different.

"They don't feel any different," Harry pointed out. He heard his best friend laugh a little.

"Of course they don't feel any different," said Niall. "Do you feel any different?"

"Um," Harry shifted a little. "Yes,"

"What?"

"I liked it,"

Niall let out a little amused huff of air, and Harry felt it on his neck. He pushed himself closer to his best friend, and buried his face into his chest.

"Niall," he whispered. "I don't know what to do,"

He let his eyes flutter shut as his friend held him close. "Tell Louis how you feel,"

"Do you think he likes me?"

"Of course he does, idiot." Niall sighed. "Now go to sleep. You can talk to him tomorrow - or something,"

-

Only Harry didn't talk to him tomorrow. He didn't want to seem pushy and call Louis himself, and the boy didn't seem too eager to ring Harry.

And that's how Harry was sat on his bed, four weeks later. He had nothing but the memory of the kiss on his lips and the thought of Louis' presence. He missed him - of course. His heart ached for the boy, and he was clueless as to what to do.

Or why Louis was ignoring him.

It's been a long four weeks of him trailing through rooms in his house silently, letting wet tears stain his pillow at night, living but not feeling.

Which is why he was surprised when he heard a muttered conversation downstairs. Gemma had left to university two weeks ago, and ever since she placed a goodbye kiss on his forehead everything had been silent. It was just him and Anne - and it was so quiet, too calm.

He slid off his bed, taking quiet steps with the wooden floor creaking under his feet towards his bedroom door. It was slightly open, letting the hushed conversation flow into his room.

He almost had a heart attack when he heard the familiar boy's voice downstairs.

"I'm not sure if that's the best idea, Louis," Harry heard his mother say quietly, her voice hesitant.

"Please," The boy said quietly. Harry could hear some shuffling, and then the front door being shut. He could imagine his mother trying to be as quiet as possible.

"I don't know," She repeated herself, and Harry could hear Louis' short intake of breath.

"I'm - this is an apology," Louis croaked out, and Harry could hear shuffling once again. He could imagine Anne taking Louis' jacket - probably the denim one, lined with the warm fur on the inside, soft and delicate like Louis. "I don't know - I don't know why I did it. It wasn't supposed to be like that and I will completely understand if neither of you decide to forgive me," He continued quietly, his voiced a hushed mumble. Harry could hear the tears in his voice. "But I just want one more chance - I can fix it. I promise I can, I can fix him,"

Harry didn't need fixing. He huffed to himself, leaning against his doorway. He didn't need fixing. Unless it was Louis fixing him.

"You know I'm fond of you, Louis," Anne muttered. Harry's chest was aching. "He's upstairs. Be gentle - please. And - he might be sleeping. If so, don't wake him up until he wakes up himself,"

"Of course," Louis rushed out, his breathing quick. Harry could literally hear their hug. "Thank you - really,"

Anne didn't reply, but Harry could hear quiet gentle footsteps down the hallway towards the stairs, and he rushed straight into his room, pulling the door closed behind him soundlessly. He quickly curled up into himself on his bed, and listened intensely as the stairs squeaked under Louis' steps.

When the door opened quietly and no one came in, Harry was finding it hard to keep his breathing calm. He kept his eyes open as he faced the wall, and he could feel Louis' presence behind him.

"Harry?" Louis choked out. He didn't step further into the room at first but since he didn't receive a reply, he took a deep breath and shut the door behind him. Once he reached the bed, he sat down on the edge of it, and the younger boy could feel the mattress dipping under him. "Are you asleep?"

Harry didn't know what to do, until he felt Louis' hand curling around his arm, from which he flinched away. He could hear Louis' hurt in the croak he let out.

"I'm - I don't even know where to begin," Louis said quietly. Harry was quite amused, actually. He still didn't move. "Can you - will you listen to me? Just let me know if you will or not - please?"

Harry sighed quietly. "Go on,"

"God - I missed your voice,"

"Explains why you ignored me for four weeks very well,"

Louis squeezed his eyes shut. "I had to do it. After - after that day, I knew I messed up. Remember when I said you deserve the best?"

Harry could once again feel Louis' fingers around his arm. He didn't shake his hand off, letting the shaky fingers hold on.

"And I can't give you that?"

Harry closed his eyes, taking a deep breath in.

"You're the best I've ever had," He muttered under his breath, and he could hear Louis' breathing hitch.

"Don't say that - it's not true,"

"Why do you say that about yourself?" Harry felt a sudden wave of confidence wash over him as he turned around, facing Louis as he opened his eyes. "You always told me that I shouldn't say bad things about myself and that I should accept myself, yet you don't accept yourself,"

"I do, Harry," Louis said quietly. He tightened his grip on the boy's arm. "I accept myself as the person I am - but I'm not the person you need."

"Is it because I'm blind?"

"No - Harry, your disability has nothing to do with-"

"It's not a disability," Harry replied, voice louder and stern. It made Louis freeze as he watched Harry's face twist in disgust.

"Okay-"

"Don't ever call it that, it's not a disability - it's. It's not a disability. I'm not disabled," Harry was shouting by now, and Louis was terrified. He didn't know what to do - what was happening. He never heard Harry speak so loud, and he definitely never pictured Harry so angry. "It's not a disability!"

Louis didn't say anything as he watched Harry's tears begin to fall, voice shaking as he shouted out the same words over and over again. He didn't say anything when Harry collapsed into his arms, sobbing into his lap, hands clutching onto his legs.

"I'm not disabled," Harry heaved out, his body shaking. He couldn't even feel or focus on Louis' hand slipping into his hair, tugging hard on the locks. He tightened one hand around Harry's body, pulling him up to sit on his lap forcefully. He wasn't being gentle - he knew this was serious, and it was best if he called for Harry's mother. He was deep down under, and Louis could only hope he could pull him back up.

"Harry - face me," He curled his fingers under the boy's chin, turning his face so that his eyes paused on Louis' face. "Breathe,"

Harry opened his mouth, lips parting as his lungs were desperate, trying to intake oxygen. His chest was aching, his eyes were burning.

"It's not a disability," he muttered, letting his head drop down to rest on Louis' shoulder.

"Are you breathing?"

Louis could feel the gentle nod, Harry's chest rising and falling rapidly.

"Louis?"

He wrapped his arms around the blind boy, rocking him gently.

"What, darling?"

"Is it a disability?" He muttered in question. Louis only held him closer. "Please don't leave me again,"

"I won't," Louis replied, and this time he wasn't lying. He pulled Harry's face up, pressing his lips to his forehead - to the tip of his noise and each closed eyelid. He kissed his lips to the left of his mouth, and Harry sighed gently, pulling himself closer to the boy. "I'm sorry for leaving you - we needed time, but it's alright now. Everything will be okay,"

Harry nudged the boy's jaw with his nose, kissing the soft skin on the side of his cheek. "You're the best I had," He repeated his words from earlier, Louis arms feeling right where he held him.

"You're the best thing I never had," Louis muttered in reply, earning a quiet groan from Harry.

"No song references,"

Harry reached up, searching for Louis' lips. His fingers brushed over the soft skin on his forehead, pressing light touches on his eyelids, down his temples and his cheeks, finally reaching his soft lips. He tilted his head up and pressed a gentle peck atop them.

"What are you doing?" Louis laughed a little under his breath, his eyelashes fluttering when Harry ran his fingers over his eyelids once again.

"You are very beautiful," Harry stated instead as he once again ran his fingers over Louis' features, fingertips taking in every bit on his skin. He dipped his fingers into the boy's hair, and smiled in satisfaction when the boy hummed with happiness.

"So are you," Louis replied. "My beautiful boy,"

Harry didn't think he could forgive this easily - but Louis was an exception. Even when he did mess up he was right there to fix it.

"I want to see you," Harry finally muttered in frustration, breaking the silence. His eyes were searching the darkness in front of him, desperately trying to make out any shapes, colours - anything. He wouldn't even mind if he was blind to everything else if he could at least look at Louis forever.

"Didn't you just do that?" The boy replied quietly, taking Harry's fingers in his own and lacing them together. He raised their hands to his mouth, and kissed each of Harry's knuckles.

"Properly," Harry replied, sighing a little when he realised he was pointlessly searching, only staring deeper into the dark.

"I was always curious," Louis began, shifting closer to the blind boy, pulling him onto his lap. He watched Harry's eyes flicker between him at the wall behind, the green bright and shining. If he didn't know Harry, he'd never think that those eyes didn't see. "As to what blind people see. Like - is it just black?"

"I don't know what black is," Harry huffed. Louis watched him close his eyes, eyelashes brushing over his skin as he leaned his head on the older boy's shoulder. "But if black is this, then I see black,"

"When I close my eyes I see black," Louis pointed out, at which he closed his eyes as if to prove a point. "Not like pitch black, though. If I press my fingers down on my eyes there's all those explosions and stuff."

"You what?" Harry giggled, raising his head a little. He trailed his fingers up Louis' face, feeling where the boy was pressing down on his eyes. "Doesn't that hurt you? Careful-"

"No - like. All these shapes and patterns run through your vision,"

Harry paused for a second, trying to imagine it.

"Don't listen to me." Louis said after a minute of silence, at which Harry giggled once again. "Forget it - I'm strange. Okay - so. You've never seen anything before. How do you picture people?"

Harry thought about it for a second. He absentmindedly pressed his fingers into Louis' shoulders where he was holding on, as he hummed in thought. "I never really pictured people, I just know what people look like from touch. Like, my mum always made me feel my own face all the time so I would know."

Louis nodded. He couldn't help himself - as he watched the boy talk in his slow, quiet voice he was fascinated and his heart was interested, his brain wanting to remember the boy's face forever. He leaned in, finally capturing Harry's lips. The younger boy squeaked in surprise but instantly leaned into it, curling his arms around the boy's neck as he felt Louis' lips moving against his, soft and gentle. They kissed for a good minute, not taking it further and not stopping until Louis jumped in surprise, and Harry felt warm fur under his fingers where Louis' shoulder was seconds ago.

He giggled a little, curling his fingers around the cat, lifting him up onto his lap. He felt the soft paws digging into his thigh. "This is Bamboo,"

"God - I was not expecting that," Louis mumbled. He watched Harry's fingers brush through the cat's soft fur, and he coo'ed quietly. "Hi, Harry's cat Bamboo. You're very Bamboo-ish."

He watched Harry's fingers freeze and a chuckle escape his throat, past his red lips. Louis had to do a double take, actually. His lips were red and wet and pretty and Louis was so falling for him.

"Hi, Louis," said Harry in a high pitched voice, gently lifting one of Bamboo's paws. Louis glanced at the cat. He looked quite bored as he paused in licking his tangled fur. "How are you?"

"Very well, Bamboo. Even better before you interrupted," He replied, and watched Harry's smile grow. He gave in, curling one hand around Harry's ankle and pushing the other into the cat's fur, listening as it let out loud purring noises.

"Cats are great," Harry pointed out, to which Louis could only nod. "I want fifty cats when I'm older,"

"We can have fifty cats if that's what will make you happy,"

Harry continued stroking through the fur, but his heart was pounding away fast. Louis had just suggested the future - together. With fifty cats.

"Maybe not fifty," Louis added quietly, and he leaned across Bamboo to kiss Harry once. "I was thinking - since you like your cats and I like you, we could go somewhere together. I know a perfect place - and we need a good second date."

"That was a date?" Harry squeaked out, thinking back to the cheesecake and the waitress and Louis holding his hand.

"Yeah - I mean. If that's what you wanted it to be,"

"I - of course,"

"That's good," Louis said, picking up the cat and lifting it up, gently placing her down on the duvet beside them. Once again he curled his hands under Harry's legs, pulling him up onto his lap. The boy let himself be moved easily, and he squirmed a little in Louis' lap, feeling quite exposed as he felt the older boy's eyes on his face, watching him closely. He sighed softly when he felt the boy kissing up his neck, warm lips making him squirm. He kissed back eagerly when Louis finally reached his lips.

"You are perfect," Louis told him quietly, kissing behind his ear and hugging him closely. "I'm so glad I met you,"

Harry only blushed, pushing his face into his shoulder quietly.

"Can I take you out then? This Saturday. I'll pick you up?" He muttered into Harry's ear quietly. The boy nodded soundlessly.

"Of course - of course. I'd be happy to go out with you,"

Louis kissed him in response.


	15. 14

Saturday was a long day of endless waiting in Harry's bedroom and staring into the darkness of the wall. It's not that he was particularly showing how nervous he was - though, who was he kidding? He was shaking with nerves as he thought about the day ahead of him. He was only pulled out of his daydream when his phone went off, signalising a text from Louis.

Minutes later, he was hopping around the room on one leg, the other in mid-air where he was trying to tug on his leather boots. He was wearing his tightest jeans - Gemma always said they looked good on him. He quickly brushed through his hair and pushed it back out of his eyes with a thin, soft floral headscarf.

Just as he was tying a loose knot, the loud sound of the doorbell rung throughout the entire house. Harry could already hear the scraping of the chair against the kitchen floor where his mum was getting up to answer the door.

"Wait - mum!" He rushed towards the stairs, neatly making his way down with only one small trip over the heel of his boots. "I'll get the door,"

He was unknowing to the eyebrow his mother had raised, but also to her gentle smile. When he pulled the door open, he was immediately breathless.

He was pressed tight against a warm body and there was a pair of lips kissing his jaw, the crinkling of foil heard and the gentle petals of the flowers Louis held tickling his arm.

"Good afternoon," Louis chirped when he finally pulled away from the hug, pushing the flowers into the blushing boy's arms. "These are for my favourite boy,"

Harry held the flowers gently in his hands, running his fingertips over the soft petals and the tiny leaves.

"Hi, Louis," he said quietly. He could feel the boy's breath close to him, and he stumbled a little at the lack of distance between them. He could do nothing but blush deeper when Louis grabbed him by the elbows, keeping him steady.

"You look gorgeous," Louis said quietly, only for Harry to hear, to which the boy bowed his head, the flush not leaving his cheeks. He felt Louis hand reach up and his fingers gently push on the headscarf, admiring it wordlessly. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," Harry said quietly, letting Louis take his hand. As he was focusing on the boy's warm hand holding his own tightly, he could briefly hear the conversation in the background between his mother and Louis, the boy promising he will keep Harry safe. He jumped a little when he felt his mother's lips pressing to his forehead but he instantly relaxed into her touch, sighing happily.

Anne pulled away from her son, giving them both quick pats on their backs before she waved them off.

Harry followed the boy, stumbling a little over his own shoes, his hand squeezing Louis'.

"I- oh, sorry," The boy slowed down his pace, linking their arms together and allowing Harry to lean into him. "I was thinking we could go to the park, eat some food. I got Zayn to especially make us some picnic food. Speaking of Zayn - after - I want to take you to mine, if that's okay? You could meet Zayn properly - er. If that's fine with you, of course,"

Louis watched the boy beside him stumble a little, pretty pink flushing across his cheeks as he nodded wordlessly. His eyes were open, his lashes curling up prettily and his eyes lazy and green, blinking slowly as he stared right ahead. Once they reached the car, the older boy helped Harry sit comfortably inside, shutting the door behind him and finally climbing into the drivers seat.

He turned to Harry, who seemed more relaxed than ever before in his car. He still had his hands in his own lap which Louis immediately protested against - he took Harry's right hand, gently taking it in his own and holding it tight. He could see Harry trying to hide his smile from the corner of his eye.

When they stopped at a red light, Louis allowed himself to peek to the side at Harry. He looked at peace with himself, the sunshine lighting up his face and his eyes bright as they focused on the glass of the window. From the side he seemed like a normal boy watching the world go by - little did others know that he was unseeing to everything. It made Louis feel special, knowing that he was the one to protect the boy from the world's bad side.

Once Louis had parked the car, he turned to the boy, taking his hand and gently stroking over his knuckles. "Harry - the first time I went out with you was as an apology for knocking you over. During that, I became so fascinated with you - I want to learn about you, I want to be close to you. So - now that this is our second time out together - and a first real official date, I want you to know how much you really mean to me,"

Harry felt the boy's eyes on him all whilst he was talking. He ducked his head, his face flushing with pink as he listened, humming quietly in response when he was finished.

"But - like, if you feel obliged to go out with me, don't. I know people always say this but - I don't want to be a charity case, you know?"

"You're not," Louis assured him, bringing his hand up to his mouth and kissing it softly. "Trust me - please? You're definitely not a charity case - you are a beautiful, handsome boy that I want to spend all my spare time with."

Harry kept his gaze down, warmth spreading throughout his entire body, fluttering inside his chest and his stomach. For the first time in forever he felt appreciated by another person who wasn't his own mother - and he couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you," He said quietly. They sat in silence for a minute, before Louis offered that they'd leave the car.

The older boy helped Harry get out of the vehicle, tugging him gently by his hand. He led him down the path, a picnic basket in one hand and Harry's hand in the other, the quiet boy holding a blanket as they walked down, approaching a big willow tree. Once Louis was satisfied with the area they were in, he laid out the blanket, both of them sitting down comfortably.

"Louis," Harry giggled quietly, reaching out to touch the boy's hand. He gently ran his fingertips up his arm, wrapping his fingers around his shoulders, shuffling closer to the boy as he held onto his shoulders. Once he could feel the boy's breath on his face, he leaned closer and ran his fingers up the boy's neck and across his cheek.

"Can I see you?"

"Of course, anytime," Louis said quietly, closing his eyes. "You don't need to ask,"

"Okay," Harry traced his fingers up his jaw, feeling out where his mouth is. He leaned in to press a soft kiss to his mouth, before running his fingers across his eyebrows and gently over his eyelids.

"You are so beautiful," Louis muttered under his breath once he opened his eyes again, watching Harry study his face with his fingers.

The boy leaned back, sighing a little as he once again placed his hands on Louis' shoulders. "I don't know what beautiful is, Louis, but you are the definition of beautiful for me,"

"Funny that," Louis mumbled quietly, leaning forward to kiss the boy on the mouth, holding his jaw gently. "Thanks. You're cute."

Harry giggled, leaning forward once again, chasing Louis' lips. He took his hands off Louis' face, instead gently placing them over the boy's hands on his own face. His fingers felt long and his hands were soft, warm to Harry's touch. As he ran his hands down Louis' arms he took in the delicate skin and the little dusting of hair covering it, his strong muscles. His hands were shaking by the time he reached the boy's chest, feeling out every bone and every muscle, pressing his fingers into his skin while Louis kissed him.

"You're like - soft," Harry muttered against his lips. When Louis didn't reply with words but a quiet chuckle the boy flushed, finally pulling back. "Is there people looking?"

He opened his eyes just in case people were actually looking. He didn't want to embarrass Louis.

"You can close your eyes," Louis instantly said, as if he was reading his thoughts. "Of course there's people - but they shouldn't care what we're doing and who you are - alright?"

Harry nodded quietly, however he still decided to crawl off the boy's lap and finally sat himself down on the blanket beside Louis, who seemed quite confused at his actions.

"Babe - alright?" The blind boy felt a hand curling around his wrist, fingers pressing hard into his skin.

"Yeah," He nodded, shutting his eyes and gently nudging Louis with his elbow. He felt out the ground beside him and picked up the pair of black glasses he had left there minutes ago and slid them onto his face, turning to Louis. "So - about that food."

-

After long hours of sitting at the park and when the sky began so fade into dark shades of navy, Louis urged the boy to get back into his car - and that's where they were seated, parked in front of his and Zayn's flat.

"Is he home?"

"Yes," Louis replied quietly, squeezing his hand. "The kitchen light's on. Is that okay? Do you want to meet him? If not that's completely, absolutely fine-"

"No, it's alright," Harry nodded, fumbling with his seatbelt in attempt to unbuckle it. "If he's your best friend I'm sure he's great,"

"Yeah," Louis chuckled quietly, eventually leaning over and unbuckling Harry's seatbelt for him. "Come on then. Do you want to stay?"

Harry nodded in reply, letting the boy lead him towards the building by his hand, walking slowly as he counted every footstep in his head just in case.

"What time is it?" Harry asked as they started up the stairs, Louis walking close behind him in case he tripped, leading the boy with a reassuring hand on his hip.

"Evening," He replied, patting Harry on the back when they reached the top of the staircase, taking the second to glance at the watch strapped around his wrist. "It's just gone seven, but t's not getting dark yet,"

Harry seemed to take this as a reasonable statement and so he nodded, only freezing up a little when they finally reached the door of the apartment, and he could hear faint singing along to a radio inside, the sound of the kettle boiling and something sizzling on the pan. It sounded like home - and Harry enjoyed sounds.

"Zayn, open up!" Louis shouted while tapping his free hand on the door. The singing stopped, some metal object dropped and then the door was swung open.

"Zayn - this is Harry. Harry, this is Zayn."

"Harry Styles," Was the first thing Zayn said. Harry shifted a little, suddenly very aware of his own being. Zayn sounded very sophisticated - his voice was quiet and slow with an accent, and it sounded mysterious. Harry felt like Zayn knew something he didn't. "I have heard a lot about you,"

"You too," Harry replied instantly, then he bit his tongue. That wasn't the appropriate thing to say, was it? Instead of introducing himself and greeting the boy he blurted out the first thing that came to his head-

"I'm glad this twat cares to talk about me," Zayn said, and Harry could hear him slapping Louis on the shoulder. "I'm making dinner - you guys staying for that?"

"We're staying in tonight, actually," Louis replied, gently ushering Harry inside and taking his jacket, hanging it up on the hanger, unfolding his cane and placing it into his hand. "Wouldn't mind a bit of a fry up, though. Any good movies on?"

"Not that I know of, mate," Zayn replied, and then disappeared into the kitchen. He was definitely strange, Harry thought to himself. He didn't make much of it - making his way into the living room with the help of his cane and Louis' footsteps and letting himself sit comfortably on the sofa as he listened to the faint singing that has once again started in the kitchen.

"You're fine with any food, innit? Not allergic to chicken or something?" Louis asked when he leaned against Harry, kissing his shoulder through his shirt. "Cause if you are then that's totally fine. I'd personally import pineapples from Spain for you,"

"Thanks," Harry giggled, tucking his head into the crook of Louis' neck. "No - it's fine, I'll eat anything."

Louis chuckled, squeezing his hip. "It's a chicken fry up Zayn's making. You'll love it. Now - what movie do you want to...um-"

"What have you got?" Harry interrupted him, saving the boy from the awkward question. He pushed himself closer to Louis, feeling his strong body under his fingertips.

It was weird - he'd known Louis for such a short time yet he instantly felt as though the boy was created to be there for him - he's everything Harry ever needed and the fact that Louis doesn't mind all the problems that come with Harry only make it better for the boy.

After Louis flipped through twenty different DVD's, explaining each plot to the boy they had picked out a movie and Zayn had stumbled into the living room with three plates of rice, sitting himself down on the armchair.

Harry could feel the oldest boy's eyes on him, watching as he ate. He was a slow, careful eater, making sure none of it went to waste.

Harry felt warm, comfortable. He felt at home as he laid across the sofa, his head resting on Louis' lap with the boy's fingers threading through his hair, gently tugging and untangling each strand. Every so often the boy would lean down and kiss his face, lips soft against his skin.

"Is he asleep?" Zayn asked quietly after some time and when the movie was more than halfway through. Harry wasn't, despite the fact that he had been drifting off a little, but he didn't say anything, instead enjoying the feel of Louis' fingers in his hair.

"I think so," replied Louis, gently running his hands down the boy's arms, pulling one of the soft blankets over his body. "I'll just let him nap for a bit, 'm going to bed after this anyway, I'll take him with me then."

"Alright," Harry could feel Zayn's eyes on him. "You're like - glowing, mate. Look at your face,"

"I can't look at my face," Louis sarcastically replied in a hushed voice, but he smiled nevertheless. "I know. I'm lucky to have him,"

Harry could feel his flush coming back so he shifted slightly, pressing face into Louis' thighs.

"Can't even bear to look at you two," Zayn snorted. Harry could feel him moving, and then shuffling across the room. Then there was a hand patting his shoulder and quiet muttering into Louis' ear.

"Night," Louis replied to whatever Zayn had said to him and so the boy left the room, leaving only them on the sofa.

"Can't believe you fell asleep on me," Louis mumbled, his hand going back into Harry's hair. He was silent for a minute and then he cleared his throat, leaning down and nuzzling his nose into his hair. "God, you're so beautiful."

Harry felt his delicate fingers pushing strands of hair off the side of his face, untying the scarf and dropping it onto the sofa beside them.

When the movie had ended and Harry's hair was an untangled mess, he felt Louis' arms snaking around and under his waist, lifting his body into his arms along with the blanket. Harry couldn't help but let out a small squeak when he felt Louis standing up off the sofa and start making his way towards the door.

"'M just taking you to bed," The boy explained when Harry sleepily blinked up at him. After a few seconds he was laid down on a soft mattress, only for him to push himself back up into a sitting position, his eyes fluttering open.

"Lou - I can take the sofa, really-"

"No," Louis immediately interrupted. Harry felt his presence before feeling his touch on his arm. "You're staying in my bed, alright?"

"But - fine. Only if you stay,"

Harry felt the boy freeze beside him, and he bit his tongue again. He should really stop saying things that don't sound right.

"Okay," Louis said quietly, sitting himself down on the edge of the bed. "Are you sure?"

Harry nodded slowly. He didn't get a reply, only Louis chucking a pair of pyjama pants at him.

"Here, you'll be uncomfortable in those jeans." The boy said, sitting back down next to him and gently running his fingers over his strong thigh, down his leg to his knee. "Not that I'm complaining. Your legs look unholy in these."

"Thanks?" Harry giggled, pushing up into Louis' hand.

"You look so good," Louis muttered, finally kissing the boy's jaw, nibbling a little at his neck. He trailed kisses up his face and finally kissed his lips, letting his tongue brush over his lips.

"I- I don't know how-" Harry breathed out against his lips, his breathing already fast and erratic and heavy as Louis tugged at his bottom lip with his own lips. He braced himself against Louis' chest, pushing himself close to the boy as he continued kissing him.

"Just follow what I do," Louis muttered into his mouth, curling his tongue against his lips and drawing away, letting Harry follow with a desperate whine. He traced the boy's plump lips with his tongue, only for Harry to part them with a small sigh at the back of his throat. He desperately clutched onto the boy's shirt as he let himself be kissed, pulling on the material.

"So good," Louis muttered against his lips, finally pulling back. Harry was breathing heavily, his lips parted and wet, his eyes dark and his skin flushed. His fingers were still tangled in Louis' shirt, holding him close. "So beautiful, my baby. You look so gorgeous,"

Louis stroked his face delicately, holding his jaw for a minute as he placed one small kiss on his lips before finally pulling away fully, standing up on shaky legs.

Harry's breathing was still quick and uneven as the boy left him in the room alone to get changed into the pyjama pants and a stretched out shirt. He couldn't stop thinking about what they were - because what were they? Louis liked kissing him and he liked kissing Louis - he liked /Louis/, but he didn't know if the boy did too. If this is what it felt like to fancy someone, Harry was not complaining. He just wasn't sure where they stood.

"You done?" A quiet voice asked from the doorway just as Harry was feeling out the bed, trying to memorise where it finished and where it ended. He let out a little nod and then felt the mattress dipping beside him. "Tell you what - you sleep by the wall, then I won't have to worry about anything happening. Alright? Sorry- maybe-"

"No, okay," Harry instantly nodded. He liked the idea, it prevented him from making an idiot of himself by falling off or something of the like. He could hear shuffling in the sheets and then Louis was in bed, lifting the blankets for Harry to join him.

He crawled under carefully, only to be enveloped by warm sheets and a strong arm across his hip. He felt Louis close behind him, their bodies pressed together close as the boy held him in his arms, pressing one last kiss against the back of his neck.

"Goodnight, Harry," He muttered against his hair, grabbing onto the boy's fingers with the hand of the arm snaked around his waist.

"Sleep well," He whispered in response, letting his eyes fall shut, met with a darker shade of black.


	16. 15

"Jesus Christ, we need a fire extinguisher," Zayn shouted. The room smelt of burning pasta - if that's even a smell - and the sound of Harry's giggling kept Louis grinning.

"Oh, give me a break," Louis replied, gently stirring a wooden spoon through the thick pasta. Maybe it was a little burnt - so what. Harry was sitting at the dinner table and he was laughing which was enough to keep Louis going. "Look, it's not that bad,"

"Yeah, if you're into eating coal," The boy groaned. He sat down opposite Harry and banged his head on the table, as you would do in a situation like this. "Harry, how do you handle him?"

Harry muffled his soft laugh into his sleeve, blinking slowly. Louis couldn't help but have his heart melt at the sight. "He brings something exciting into my life,"

Louis couldn't emphasise more on the fact that the boy fit so well inside their house. It was probably awful for him with their things cluttering up every single living space but as he sat there at their wooden table and his elbows on the surface and a soft smile on his lips he looked at peace.

"Why, thank you," Louis said. He could see the look Zayn was giving them both, his eyes soft like never.

Louis had the best night's sleep in probably forever. He didn't wake up - not even once. He was warm and comfortable and he felt happy being the one to hold Harry through the night. He felt right with the boy in his arms, and he sure felt right as he sat himself on the bench next to Harry, sliding the mug over to him and gently taking his hands, placing them around the pale porcelain.

"Black tea, two sugars," He muttered quietly when Harry blinked up at him with a soft, questioning smile. He looked so, so beautiful in the morning. His hair tousled from sleep, tucked back behind his ears, his skin glowing and his movements slow and gentle.

"Thank you," He said quietly, raising the mug to his lips and taking a small sip. Louis couldn't tear his eyes away. "You're watching me,"

Louis could only smile softly, leaning in closer to kiss the corner of Harry's lips. The boy whined quietly, pouting when he was left with nothing but the small peck.

"That he is!" Zayn laughed out loud, making them both pull back from the little bubble they had formed, cheeks flushed red. "You guys are disgusting,"

"Like you're any better," Louis sighed, rolling his eyes. He jumped a little when he felt gentle fingers tapping his hip, shakily digging into his thigh. When the older boy glanced over at him Harry had a look of worry painted over his face, a pale pink colouring his cheeks.

"Um - I have to go to the bathroom. Sorry, could you like-" Harry wasn't even finished before Louis was off the bench, pulling him along.

"Wanna feel out the way? Just - for the future, if you want." Louis suggested, taking one of Harry's hands. The boy nodded, trailing his spare hand across the wall.

"Louis," Harry paused just outside the bathroom door, turning to where he knew the boy stood. He reached out and Louis ducked a little, making sure that the boy's hands would actually land on his chest, and preventing Harry from being embarrassed. "I just wanted to say thank you,"

"I'm just showing you to the bathroom," Louis joked, smiling softly as he took both of the boy's hands in his own. "Listen - you always thank me. You thank me enough for the entire world, babe."

"Thank you," Harry laughed quietly, ducking his head a little. Louis watched his smile grow when he brought the younger boy's hands to his face and kissed each of his fingers. "I owe you so much,"

"Harry," Louis sighed, squeezing his hand. "You don't owe me a single thing, as long as you're right here."

-

"Anne's not getting worried?" The older boy asked out of curiosity as he watched Harry breathe in and out, his chest rising and falling as he laid across his lap on the sofa, his feet over Zayn's knees.

"I told her I'll be home by afternoon," Harry mumbled quietly, opening his eyes. Louis glanced down, meeting his empty gaze. "If that's fine with you guys, of course-"

"I can drive you home, if you want," Zayn offered quietly, making both boys turn towards him. Louis wasn't too keen on the idea - if he could spend extra time with Harry, he would definitely want to do that, even by driving him home. But - Zayn. "I'm going into town to meet Liam so I can drop you off,"

Harry remained silent, nodding wordlessly. He turned his head in Louis' direction, as if awaiting his permission.

"Up to you, baby," Louis said quietly when Harry didn't say anything. He reached over to tangle his fingers in the boy's hair who's eyes instantly fluttered shut, a quiet groan at the back of his throat.

"Um - yeah, please, if that's alright,"

"No problem," Zayn smiled at the boy, before looking up at Louis. They exchanged a silent look between them, before Zayn pushed himself up off the sofa. "I'm leaving in about two hours, I need to get ready first,"

"That's okay," Harry said with a nod and a soft smile, which Zayn returned before leaving the room.

Louis kept his eyes on the boy lying across his lap. His hair has grown quite a lot, pretty strands of hair curling around his face, his scarf still abandoned on the sofa from the previous day. His skin was soft and pale, milky white, and Louis couldn't help but lean down, sucking a mark into the skin of his neck.

"What-" Harry breathed out, reaching up to feel where Louis was soothing his tongue over the now red mark, pushing his head back. "What was that?"

Louis shot him a weird look, pulling away and admiring his work. It looked great.

"It looks great," He informed Harry, who was still running his fingertips over the mark on his neck. "It's just a red mark, don't worry,"

"Oh - right, okay," He still looked quite confused, his eyes fixed on Louis' chest as he took his hand away from his neck. "What's it for?"

Louis smiled, leaning in to press his lips to the smooth skin of the boy's cheek. "Nothing. Just to remind you and others that I am here, and that I like you very, very much,"

"Oh," Harry flushed with pride. "Is it what people do?"

"Oh, yeah. Definitely."

Harry took a deep breath. "How do you do it?"

Louis' heart fluttered beneath the boy's palm. This was new - this was Harry wanting to give back affection. This was great.

"Just - you just suck on the skin. That sounds weird," He thought out loud as Harry sat up in his lap, throwing his arms around Louis' shoulders. "You can bite on it, a little. Just make sure it's the same spot,"

"Can I-"

"Want to have a go?" Louis asked softly, soothing his hand down the boy's back. When he received a small nod in response, he took Harry's hand and led it to his neck, letting him feel it out, and before he knew it Harry's lips were attached just under his ear.

After a minute or two the boy pulled away, his lips shiny and red. He looked pleased with himself as he ran his fingers over the newly sensitive skin, nuzzling his nose into his shoulder.

"Cool," He mumbled, letting Louis squeeze his body closer.

"Very cool," The older boy hummed.

"I have to go doctors tomorrow," Harry sighed into his neck. Louis felt him breathe in a shaky breath, allowing him some time before he continued. "For my eyes,"

"I figured," Louis nodded, hugging him closer. "Just a check-up? Or-"

"Yeah, no, they're just seeing whether it's getting worse. Or - better, but it's not. So." He sighed softly, closing his eyes.

"Can that happen?" Louis questioned quietly, pushing his hand through Harry's soft hair. "For it to just get better?"

"I doubt it," He replied, his voice hushed. "I'm actually tired of hearing it. They always said that - that it'll develop, right. But nothing's developing, I can't see anything,"

"Oh, baby," Louis sighed, kissing the side of his face. "Don't worry, it's alright. But - if it's doctors saying it, surely there must be some truth behind what they're saying?"

"I believe they're just trying to make me feel better," He replied. By now, he was a dead weight in Louis' arms, completely leaning on him for support. "I'm older now - I know better. I'm tired of hearing of progression every month when there's none actually happening,"

"You know what? I'm so proud of you," Louis muttered, watching as the boy's eyes fluttered open in confusion. "Maybe your sight isn't making progress, but you are. Harry, you're growing more and more confident each and every day, and you're growing into a beautiful, handsome young man who's doing nothing but making his mum proud. You don't need sight to be a great person, and you've just proven this,"

Harry let out a shaky sigh. He couldn't help the smile from curling onto his lips, and he held onto the boy's shirt as he leaned upwards.

"Kiss me, please?"

Louis didn't need to be told twice.

-

After a long half an hour of waiting outside the door and groaning at Louis - who simply wouldn't let Harry go - to fuck off already, Zayn took Harry's palm in his, ready to set off. Louis eyed them up and down one last time.

"You got everything?"

"Yes," They both replied. Harry patted his pocket, emphasising on the fact that his phone was in there and therefore he had everything.

Harry's hand felt soft in Zayn's as he helped him down the stairs, Louis calling out one last goodbye after them.

When they were on the ground floor, Zayn held the door open for the boy, leading him towards the car park. "Wish Louis was always this compassionate with his goodbyes when I'm leaving,"

Harry giggled quietly under his breath, before a window was swung open above them, a familiar voice calling out.

"Careful with my boy!" Louis shouted down, making a few pedestrians stop and look up at him, at which he shrugged carelessly. Zayn shook his head.

"What an idiot," He said to Harry, making him laugh once again. Then he flipped off Louis who grinned back, and helped the boy into his car.

"What's up, then?" Zayn asked as they pulled out the parking lot. "Enough kissing for a day? For a week, maybe?"

"You don't mind?" Harry asked in a small voice. "I'm always stealing Louis away from you,"

"Nah, trust me mate. Somehow, I'm perfectly fine with that." He replied. After a minute of silence, he added; "I'm just really happy for him. And you, of course. He's my best mate, and when he's happy then I'm happy. And you, Harry, are the best person for that,"

Zayn looked over to see the boy flushing pink, a smile on his lips.

"Hey, thanks. I'm getting nothing but compliments lately,"

"Mmm,"

The rest of the drive was carried out in comfortable silence. Zayn had this fond look on his face everytime he glanced over at Harry and the younger boy couldn't help but feel pride - he was finally doing something with his life, meeting people, befriending them.

"Have a good evening, yeah?" Zayn finally said when he pulled up to Harry's house. He was about to lean over and give the boy a quick hug but - facing the truth, Zayn wasn't a hug kind of person. Instead, he gave Harry's wrist a little squeeze.

He couldn't help himself and let out a relieved laugh as he watched Harry make his way up to his front door. His best friend got  
himself a keeper.


	17. 16

Harry carefully brushed through Bamboo's fur, the cat purring quietly. He pushed back into the boy's hand, stretching out under the soft bristles of the brush.

"Cutie," He giggled to the cat, nuzzling his nose into the soft fur. Bamboo responded with a quiet noise, finally stretching himself out across Harry's lap.

"You an' that cat, I swear man," A loud voice spoke up from across the room, making Harry grin before rolling his eyes.

And then the younger boy stretched his legs out onto the coffee table, accidentally knocking over a half empty mug of tea.

"For fuck's sake, Harry," Niall's voice said again, at which the boy pulled his legs away with a flushed face. "Why you always gotta knock shit over, man,"

"Well, I do apologise," Harry sighed, rolling his eyes. This startling the cat, Bamboo jumped off him and padded out of the room.

"Don't," Niall warned when Harry leaned forward to feel out where the mug has dropped. "It's shattered, don't. You'll cut your fingers, idiot,"

Harry was used to Niall teasing him. He often called him names, nudged him with an elbow. But - all in all, he was the best friend he could ask for. He knew that despite his attitude, he was only playing.

However, on odd days, he could feel the small pinch behind his eyes, frustration at himself taking over his body. He wanted to see - see Niall, see his surroundings. His eyes ached.

"For God's sake, it's all over the place," Niall groaned from the floor. Harry could hear him mopping up the spilt drink with tissues, and he let out a small breath that he was holding in. He felt hopeless, not being able to do anything about his own mistake.

"I'm sorry," He said quietly. His voice sounded small, and he instantly felt Niall freeze beside him.

"Mate, you know I don't really mind," The Irish boy said carefully. "I'm not being fuckin' serious - you know that, innit?"

Harry hummed quietly, closing his eyes. He hated this feeling. Angry at himself, he pinched the skin on his arm with two fingers, tugging.

"Don't," Niall said again. He slapped at Harry's hand, pressing his finger into the pinch mark. "I thought you stopped,"

"I have," Harry replied in a small voice. He listened as Niall picked up each piece of the broken mug, and walked to the kitchen to throw it away. He listened as Anne asked him what happened, and Niall quickly assured her that it was just an accident.

Harry always did this when he was frustrated with himself, pinching at his skin. It wasn't hurting him, it wasn't that. It wasn't something to take his mind off it - he only did it absentmindedly.

He didn't think about it when he did it - but there was a time when he gave up altogether. He didn't bother with school lessons, with eating, with drinking. He didn't bother with getting out of bed, or opening his eyes. That's when his arms were covered in pinch marks, red and pink and sometimes angry and purple.

That was the first and last time Harry was called out on doing it and so he stopped, only giving himself the odd punch to remind himself that he was still there, he was real, he was a person.

When Niall came back into the room, Harry listened as he came closer, dropping Bamboo on top of him. He hugged the cat closely, letting out a shaky breath into his fur.

"Do you want me to call Louis?" Niall asked after a minute of silence.

Even at the mention of the boy's name, Harry felt his skin flushing and his chest tightening. They had come to this silent agreement over the last few weeks - when Harry was having a bad day, a bad time, when he felt himself panic, Niall would know. Niall would know, and he would call Louis.

Even though he knew Niall longer and was the closest to him, Louis was the one who could calm him down in any situation. He would touch him, and only the feeling of Louis' hands on his arms would be enough to let Harry catch his breath. Louis would spak to him in the quiet, hushed voice. He would kiss his skin, kiss /him/ and take away any feeling of frustration.

"No," Harry said despite anything. He wanted to spend a day with his best friend, he wanted to show Niall that he was important to him. He didn't want to mess that up. "I'm alright,"

Niall's hesitation was clear. "Are you sure?"

"Positive,"

Harry was sure Niall was biting down his fingernails. The younger boy never disagreed to seeing Louis.

"Maybe if you just talked to him over the phone-"

"I'm fine, Niall," Harry let out a breathy laugh. He cracked his knuckles, a little startled at the loud noise before opening his arms, and glancing in what he hoped was Niall's direction. "Come on, there's that footy match you want to watch, yeah?"

Without any other words being said, Niall moved himself into Harry's arms and let himself be hugged by the younger boy as he once again fixed his gaze on the television screen in front of them, popping a salt and vinegar crisp into his mouth.

-

"Bloody hell, three nil," Niall exclaimed loudly. Harry blinked his eyes open softly in confusion, realising that he must have been lost in thought as the match went on. He was even more confused when he realised Niall wasn't shouting at him, as he continued speaking. "I know, mate. It's shit, doesn't happen, Manchester's got quite the team,"

"What's happening?" Harry spoke up when the boy didn't say anything for a minute. He didn't get a response immediately, and he frowned in confusion.

"Manchester's losing three nil," Niall explained to him, squeezing his wrist a little. "I'm out of crisps, Anne's upstairs. Oh, Lou's on the phone,"

Harry couldn't help but freeze a little. He felt out where Niall was, tapping at his arm. "Is - what? Is that Louis?" He asked in a hushed voice.

"Yeah, mate." He said. Now that it comes to think of it, Harry could hear the quiet mutter of Louis' voice over the phone, to which Niall turned to reply. "Yeah, yeah, t's just Haz. We're watchin' the game,"

When Harry introduced them to each other, Louis and Niall had instantly bonded over their shared love for football, loud noises and not bothering to wear clean clothes. Harry was very much fond of them both. He had met Zayn a few more times after their first official meeting, and he had to admit that he enjoyed the company of the boy. He didn't open up easily but he was a great person, and Harry was fascinated by the way he acted, as well as their shared love for art.

"Wants to talk to ya," Niall said after a minute of quiet chatting, as he shoved the phone into Harry's hand. Two minutes, I'm counting. I need to keep up with my Facebook feed, people are flippin' shit over this game,"

Harry nodded quickly, wrapping his fingers around the phone and lifting it to his ear. Just the sound of Louis' quiet breathing was enough to make his heart thud more quickly.

"Hi," He said smoothly. Whoever said Harry Styles wasn't charming needs to be murdered for their lies.

"Heya, babe," Louis' soft voice drifted over the phone, making his smile grow. "Having a good day?"

Yeah, Harry was having a good day. This was very much against his plan of spending a day purely with Niall, but he couldn't protest.

"Yeah, yeah. T's good, how's yours?"

"Good - yeah, great. Zayn's visiting home for the week so I'm a free man. Taking advantage by watching the footy,"

"Oh yeah, not like you can do that with Zayn around," Harry giggled into the phone.

He could almost hear Louis' smile over the phone. "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

Harry wanted to squeal.

"I'll take you out proper. Wine and dine you, Harry Styles."

Harry let out a shaky breath. "Yeah?"

"Mmm. At seven, yeah? This is absolutely a date, by the way,"

And - oh, Harry wanted to scream.

"Yes," He said, far too quickly. He waited a few seconds. "Yes. Yeah, that's great. I can't wait,"

"Me too, babe. I'll see you then, yeah? Have a good night, love,"

He could only picture how flushed his skin was with the pet names Louis had for him. It was endless, and with Louis being such a /boy/ it's not something that's expected.

"Yep," Harry squeaked out. "Tomorrow, then. Night, Lou,"

Niall pulled his phone back and let out a shout of laughter into it. Manchester scored.

-

"Oh man," Niall groaned. "That's fancy."

He had the website of the restaurant Louis mentioned pulled up on his phone, giving Harry space to dig through this closet. The day before had gone slowly, with Niall staying for dinner and complimenting the Chinese rice Anne had made. Her being as lovely as she is she invited the Irish boy to stay the night and now here they were - in Harry's bedroom, three in the afternoon.

"Can you at least tell me the name?"

"I'm afraid not, mate," Niall replied. "You'll see it for yourself,"

"But I won't, will I?" Harry sighed softly. He pulled a loose shirt out of his wardrobe, eventually giving up and collapsing on the floor in the middle of his room.

"Well, you'll do your weird psychic thing," Niall assured him, opening the wardrobe once again. "It looks quite fancy - do ya want me to ask him what you should wear?"

"If you'd be kind enough," Harry muttered.

After a few long minutes he sat up when he felt clothes thrown at him, the older boy barking out a laugh. He felt out the material, nodding a little to himself.

"Interesting,"

"I know, bloody hell. He said to dress fancy, the dick, like I didn't already know that,"

Harry huffed out a small laugh, feeling out the blazer. He hadn't worn it often, usually sticking to softer-looking clothes. He remembered when his mother had bought him this, though. It was for a wedding.

The boy scrambled off the floor, taking the clothes with him. His voice sounded shaky when he spoke. "I'm gonna get changed,"

"You'll do great, man," Niall spoke up. "You already know Louis, he's your mate. Except you fancy him,"

Harry didn't even bother denying it.

-

"T' was all stuck in my teeth," Niall enthused in a voice louder than necessary. Anne was sitting across the table from him, fixing a flower into the pocket of her son's blazer. She hummed, showing Niall that she was listening. "An' then when it spilt, it went all over the place."

He knew Anne was listening to his own storytelling, despite the fact that she was gently pulling her lower lip between her teeth in concentration, focusing on tucking the flower in neatly. Niall could see the proud glow in her eyes.

She hummed in appreciation when she was done, giving Harry a little pat on his hip. "Go on, give us a twirl,"

The boy stood up shakily, his face flushing red. Niall cheered as he watched him do a little stumble of a twirl, a small smile on his lips. He looked good, Niall had to admit. His blazer hugged his body well, contrasting with the white t-shirt he was wearing underneath. The black jeans only complimented his look.

At the last moment, he remembered to tie a black scarf into his hair, Niall helping him pick out the few odd curls.

"Looking good, Haz," he complimented, Anne beaming at him.

"Presentable?" Harry asked in a quiet voice. He sat himself back down next to Anne, letting his head drop to her shoulder.

Niall opened his mouth to begin another tale of his very much important journey to the supermarket the day prior, when the doorbell rung through the house, making them all freeze.

"I'll get it, sit down, H," Anne said instantly, pulling herself up, the chair scraping along the wooden floor. Niall watched her pad down the hallway to open the front door, and let his eyes wander over to Harry.

"Have a good evening, mate. I'll stay in and eat that leftover Chinese rice, and I'm expecting you to tell me every single detail after," He said, walking over and squeezing the boy's shoulder. "Leave the graphic bits out, though,"

He made his way down the hall and paused a little when he noticed Louis in the doorway.

"You have betrayed me," He mumbled, taking in Louis' freshly put on clothes, skinny jeans without a single hole. He felt truly betrayed in his own basketball shorts. "Thought ya were on the good side. Clean clothes are useless."

"Sorry, mate." Louis laughed softly. "Gotta get dressed up for Harry,"

Anne had walked off to get her son from the kitchen, and so Niall walked over closer to Louis. "Listen - mate, about Harry-"

Louis' smile never dropped. "I'm very much hoping that you won't break the news that he's happily married with two kids,"

Niall let out a loud shout of laughter, shaking his head. "No, no. Mate - speaking of Harry, could you do me a favour?"

"Of course," Louis' eyes have softened as he watched Niall closely. "What's wrong?"

"Like - he does this thing with his fingers. I dunno - maybe you didn't notice, he did say he wouldn't do it. Like - all up his arms, yeah? He, I dunno. Pinches himself? Or something," Niall sighed, nodding a little when Louis looked up at him in alarm. "Yeah, I know, mate. He - he might not do it, but just in case. If he does, point it out, yeah? Don't keep it secret, he'll think it's alright to do it. Just tell him to stop - he listens, he knows he shouldn't do it,"

"Yeah - yeah, definitely," Louis assured him with a quick nod of his head. "Thanks for telling me," He mumbled to the boy with a small smile before Niall watched him turn to the kitchen door, his best friend standing in the doorway.

Niall couldn't help but admire the way Louis' eyes brightened upon Harry walking into the room. The older boy walked closer to him, taking careful footsteps with a small smile on his lips. When he finally reached Harry, he held out his hand and gently placed it on the boy's hip, careful to not startle him.

"You look beautiful," Niall could hear Louis say quietly, which was instantly confirmed by Harry's response of a soft blush.

"You feel beautiful," Harry breathed out against his neck when the boy pulled him closer. Niall let himself lean against the doorframe, admiring the two from a distance, only startling a little when Anne tapped his shoulder.

"Cute, eh?" She smiled at him, to which he grinned widely.

"Honestly, I couldn't be more happier for H," He replied. He watched silently as Louis nosed along Harry's jaw, kissing him just under his ear. They fit together so well - despite Louis being slightly shorter he clearly held dominance, Harry growing more and more confident with each day. He seemed to fit very well under Louis' arm, Niall decided as they both turned to face him and Anne.

"I'll give you Harry back no later than eleven," Louis said, grinning at Anne who only nodded with a small smile. With a quick goodbye to the both of them, the pair was out the door. Niall couldn't help but watch out the window as they walked down to Louis' car, hands holding tight.

"I want a Louis," Niall sighed, dropping down onto the sofa, at which Anne chuckled. "Maybe with longer hair, and brown eyes. Dunno, maybe not as manly. Preferably a female,"

Anne only shook her head at him with a smile. And then she went to heat up his rice.

-

Louis and Harry had a great evening. The restaurant was in fact rather fancy, with white cloth dressing their table and little lilies around their plates. The staff was nice, considerate of Harry. They didn't make him feel different, allowing him feel comfortable.

Louis was great with him, smiling and laughing and telling him jokes and stories, and kissing him softly on the lips and all over his face. He held his hand and brushed his leg against Harry's under the table, making them feel as close to each other as possible.

So when Louis had Harry sat on his lap in the front seat of the car, he definitely wasn't complaining. He held him gently by his hips, fingers curling under his shirt and pressing into his skin. He kissed him sweetly, gently curling his tongue against Harry's and into his mouth. Only when he pushed his fingers into the material of the blazer to tug it off Harry's shoulders did the boy let out a small whimper from the back of his throat, pulling back with pants escaping his parted lips and his pupils blown wide, skin flushed red. He looked like he was finding it hard to catch his breath, and Louis knew that he was the same.

"Lou," Harry let out a small breath when the boy started kissing down his jaw, sucking a mark under his left ear. "Lou - I. Please,"

Louis hummed against his skin, pulling away a little to glance up at Harry. His eyes were closed, lips parted. "What, baby? What do you want?"

Harry let out a small groan, resting his forehead against Louis'. He lifted both his hands to the older boy's face, holding his jaw gently and kissing into his mouth clumsily.

Louis wasn't stupid - he could feel Harry growing hard, could feel every small movement of his hips. He could tell the boy was also growing more and more frustrated with each moment.

"My gorgeous boy," Louis shakily said, letting his fingers trail under his shirt, pressing into his skin all the way up his spine. When Harry arched his back he unintentionally pressed down onto Louis, letting out a surprised breath. "Look so beautiful, all flushed and lovely for me. Fuck-"

He was cut off when Harry circled his hips a little, letting out a groan from the back of his throat. Louis wasn't lying - the boy looked amazing like this. He looked all spent, hair messy and skin soft. However, his frustration was clear with the frown on his face and his lip being bitten raw.

"Harry, babe," Louis breathed, leaning up to kiss the corner of his mouth, gently pushing up a little into him. Harry let a breathy sigh escape past his lips, his eyelashes fluttering. "It's okay, come on. You're okay. My amazing boy, you're doing so perfect,"

Harry let out a surprised squeak, letting Louis grind his hips up to meet his own, and he let his head drop onto the older boy's shoulder with a small gasp.

"Fuck - Harry,"

"I can't - Lou, please. I don't know how-"

"It's okay - fuck, just keep - oh, God," Louis groaned softly when Harry let out a breathy moan into his mouth, kissing him softly.

They simply kissed for a long minute, their hips pressed together closely. Louis could tell Harry wanted more, but he could also sense his fear. This wasn't surprising - of course the boy was scared.

"You're okay," Louis said once again when he pulled away, Harry's hands shaking against his shoulders, fingers gripping tight.

"I think - I think I'm," Harry cut off with a breathy shudder, arching his back once again.

"You're - yeah. You can do it, babe. Gonna come for me, yeah?" Louis muttered against his mouth, making the younger boy gasp in his hold. His legs were shaking where they were wrapped tightly around Louis' hips, thighs trembling. "Come on, H. It's okay, you can come, I know you-"

He was cut off by Harry's loud groan, shaky and high and quick, his lips parting and his face relaxing. His whole body was long limbs, soft skin, and beautiful beautiful beautiful /boy/ and Louis wanted to tuck him into his heart and keep him there forever.

"Proud of you," Louis mumbled against his cheek, gently kissing the skin. Harry softly blinked up at him, eyes glassy and movements slow, lanky. "My handsome boy,"

Harry breathed softly against his chest. "Am I?"

"Are you what, baby?"

Harry waited a few seconds, swallowing thickly before he glanced up in Louis' direction. Louis' heart almost thudded right out of his chest when he met his gaze.

"Am I yours?

Louis let out a breath, not being able to help his small smile. "As long as you want to be,"

Harry nodded against his chest, kissing the skin through his shirt. "Always,"

Louis smiled down at him. He was dozing off, and sure - Louis had to stop him from that, buckle him into his own seat and drive him home. He had to give his boy back to his mother, kiss him goodnight, and spend another night missing him.

But - tonight was successful and beautiful. Harry was growing as a person, he was more open to Louis now that they'd known each other a while.

Louis gently sat Harry down in the passenger seat, buckling him in with a kiss behind his ear. He held his hand tightly for the whole twenty minutes, walking him down to his front door. He was slightly worried about Harry's posture at this point, the boy's legs shaky and his whole body leaning on Louis for support. He was tired and spent and glassy eyed but he was trusting Louis. He kissed him goodnight under the stars and under Anne's flowers hanging down above their heads. He kissed him against the door, and he parted with one last kiss to his nose.

And when he got home, he may have more than simply cleaned his body in the shower. His flat seemed empty even when Zayn threw a carton of juice at him, but he was so giddy on life that he didn't even bother yelling. He gave him a hug, instead, and crawled into bed, high off Harry Styles.


	18. 17

"I'm going to the doctor's," Harry explained in a quiet voice. Louis sat across the table, a mug of hot tea between his hands and their feet tangled together under the piece of furniture. "Mum was gonna drive me - I hate it, that I can't do it on my own,"

"Harry," The older boy warned in a soft voice, making him nod quickly.

"No, no. It's alright. I just - she has gym or something at the same time and I hate to break up her schedule,"

Louis hummed, trailing his fingers over the porcelain of the mug. He had arrived at Harry's as a surprise after work and even though the boy was indeed surprised enough to kiss him for five minutes straight in the front door, now he sat Louis down in the kitchen and got questioned about why he's dressed if he doesn't have to be dressed.

"I was thinking I could just get the tube," Harry muttered quietly, ducking his head to face his own mug. Louis sucked in a quick breath. "No, look. I've always caught the trains before I met you, like, I was going to catch the bloody tube the day I actually did meet you,"

"Cute, you remember," Louis smiled. He was about to say more, until Harry scoffed.

"Of course I remember," He said quietly. "It changed my entire life,"

Louis coo'ed, his eyes softening at the sight of the boy in front of him. He looked soft and happy and pliant, movements gentle and slow. His jumper is a pale pink and it's too big, draping over his shoulders and covering half of his hands. They were trying to spend at least ten minutes without direct touching due to some PDA problems pointed out by the ever so loving Niall Horan.

"I can drive you there, you know," Louis suggested. Harry smiled softly but shook his head nevertheless.

"That's not very independent, is it?" He said quietly, letting out a small laugh. "You can come with me, if you'd like. But. I don't want you to drive,"

"Man, the tube sucks," Louis sighed dramatically. He leaned across the table and took Harry's hands in his own, going against the rules. "Of course I'll tag along, you can't get rid of me. What are you going there for? Just a check up, or-"

"I don't know," Harry admitted with a tiny shrug of his shoulders. He took hold of one of Louis' fingers, his palms a little smaller than Harry's. "They called, but they usually do, even if it's for a check up."

"Oh, alright," Louis nodded a little, smiling down at Harry who was finding it rather fascinating to play with his fingers. "When-"

"It comes round here every half an hour," Harry quickly said, beaming a little at the confused boy. Louis was still surprised at how easily he gets around despite his blindness.

Louis smiled gently, pulling himself out of the seat and bringing Harry up with him by his hand, making the boy squeak out in surprise. He stumbled towards Louis, cheeks flushed, shy. Louis felt like laughing, knowing how he can affect the boy, thinking back to the night in his car.

He had seen Harry at his most vulnerable time and he felt good knowing that he shared it with him.

Harry shyly wrapped his arms around the boy's neck, the sleeves of his wooly jumper dropping over his hands, his fingertips peeking out and gently grazing over Louis' skin. He felt Louis swaying them gently, rocking from side to side to the hum of the radio playing quietly in the kitchen.

"Lou, I'm gonna trip," Harry giggled into his neck when Louis went to twirl him around but he just shrugged with a grin, taking hold of Harry's fingers and helping him do a shaky twirl.

He praised him by kissing him gently and holding him closer by his hips, smiling against his lips.

"You didn't,"

Harry just hummed, kissing him once again and finally pulling away, taking the tips of Louis' fingers in his own.

"We should leave now, if I don't want to be late,"

After Louis tied a soft scarf into his hair, pushing loose strands from his face and tucking them away, he kissed his forehead before they both set out for the underground.

It felt so, so weird walking down the public road with Harry by his side and his soft palm in his hand. He wasn't used to showing affection in public, and here he was, walking down the pavement with a boy he loved by his side. With his last boyfriend, he seemed to trail behind him like a lost shadow. With Harry, they were together, almost as one. They bought their tickets, walking down the concrete staircase towards where the trains stopped.

Once they were on the tube, quickly realising that there's barely any room for them to squeeze inside, they had to give up holding hands. Once the doors slid shut and the last passengers piled inside, Louis leaned back against the glass, pulling Harry close against him as they both held onto the handrail. He offered to take Harry's cane into his spare hand, but the boy held onto it, leaning back against Louis' chest, his dark glasses balanced on his nose. Louis could tell he had his eyes closed, trying to get breathing space.

"You alright?" Louis muttered into his ear, nuzzling his nose into the soft strands curling away from Harry's neck. The boy only nodded a little, and Louis let one of his arms wrap tighter around his middle, pulling him closer when prying eyes met his.

"You must have a lot of patience," The voice said. Louis raised one eyebrow, glancing up to stare back at the middle-aged woman. She looked quite bitter, and frowned a little when Louis didn't answer straight away.

"Excuse me?" He asked. His voice seemed to startle Harry a little, who tilted his head upwards questioningly, at which Louis only squeezed his hip a little. He was still watching the woman who was now looking at Harry with one of her eyebrows raised.

"I said, you must be very patient." She repeated. "It must get frustrating to be friends with someone like that,"

Louis couldn't believe what he was hearing. He felt the younger boy flinch a little in his arms, letting out a shaky breath. He shook his head, laughing humourlessly. "What the fuck?"

"I'm just saying," She continued. "And wondering how you handle it,"

"There is nothing to handle," Louis instantly replied, squeezing Harry closer in his arms at which the boy seemed to shrink, ducking his head to face the floor. "You're being extremely ignorant and rude,"

The woman seemed a little surprised. "Who are you to call me rude?"

"Who are you to comment on my boyfriend's ability to see? It has nothing to do with you,"

Taken aback, she turned away from them with a scowl on her face, turning to the door that slid open.

Louis didn't bother to even look at her leave, instead glancing down at the boy in his arms. He wasn't saying anything, his fingers curled tight around the handrail, the other hand holding onto his cane.

Louis sighed, leaning his head on the boy's shoulder. "This is why I don't like the bloody tube,"

"People?" Harry asked in a quiet voice. He had a small smile on his lips despite everything.

"No - not people. Their attitudes," Louis sighed, kissing behind the boy's ear. He had come to always press his lips there, for no particular reason. "She had no reason to do that,"

"Don't worry about it," Harry smiled up at him. Louis gently stroked at his hip with his fingertips. "Lou? Seriously, it's fine, you get used to it-"

"You shouldn't be having to get used to that," Louis muttered, but he left it at that, instead holding his boy close. Harry pushed back against him once again, grinning upwards at him.

"Westminster," The automated voice said above their heads as the doors slid open once again.

"Two stops," Harry mumbled. He trailed his fingers down the handrail until he reached where Louis' were and he curled his fingers over the top of the older boy's. "You called me your boyfriend,"

"Well, that's what you are," He gently ran his fingers across Harry's hips. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Harry mumbled. He leaned against the boy for another few long minutes before the train came to a stop. Louis gently took his hand in his own, helping him out the door and leading him through the station. Once they walked out, Harry unfolded the cane.

"Sorry," He said quietly, holding the end of the white object. "It's just - I can find my way there, so. If you'd let me lead-"

"Go ahead - yeah, of course, babe,"

Louis was amazed at how good Harry was. He lead him down every right pavement, took every correct turn, stopped at the lights. His heart swelled with adoration for the boy.

Once they reached the hospital, Harry's hand in his own was shaking a little. Louis wasn't sure whether it was the cold or whether it was nerves, but figured that it wasn't a big deal when Harry pulled him up to the reception.

"Hello, Harry!" A young girl piped up from behind the desk. Louis eyed her a little, but smiled when she grinned at him. She had light coloured hair, pinned up into a neat bun on top of her head. "And who's this?"

"Louis Tomlinson, nice to meet you," He smiled at her, taking her hand and shaking it politely.

"I'm Ellie, nice to meet you," Her eyes were shining brightly as she glanced at the two boys. "Harry, doctor Roberts will be ready to see you in fifteen minutes,"

"Thanks," Harry said with a small nod. He followed Louis to the chairs, lifting his glasses off his face. He blinked slowly, eyes getting used to the bright light of the waiting room. "Louis - erm. Do you want to go in with me? Or-"

"I honestly don't mind, whatever's fine with you," He muttered quietly. He felt slightly out of place, however the hospital seemed like a friendly place. People were all over the place in the waiting room, a young girl just like Harry, her eyes lost and her face soft. She had tear streams down her face and didn't seem older than eight. "There's a blind girl,"

Harry seemed to freeze for a moment, before turning to Louis. "Where?"

Louis motioned over to where she was sat with presumably her parents, before mentally slapping himself and gently turning Harry to face her. The mother caught Louis' eyes and shot him a sad smile.

"Is she little?" Harry asked quietly, running his fingers down Louis' arm.

"Yeah," Louis muttered in response, leaning up and kissing his cheek, his lips lingering on the soft skin. "Maybe seven,"

"When I was her age," Harry said quietly as they began walking down the hallway, Louis glancing at the name on every door. "I thought that being blind was the default. Like, it happened to everyone. But - then, my mum explained it to me,"

Louis remained silent, listening to Harry's voice, words drawn out.

"When I finally got it, I cried for like, a week straight," Harry laughed quietly to himself, a sad smile on his lips.

"Babe," Louis let out a shaky sigh, leaning over to kiss the side of his jaw. "You're okay,"

"I'm okay," Harry agreed.

-

Unfortunately, Louis had been ushered out of the doctor's office as soon as he came in, since the room needed to be dark and silent in order to carry out Harry's eye check. And so, he had dragged himself into the corridor and sat himself on one of the uncomfortable, plastic hospital chairs.

Just as he was about to start flipping through a magazine about dental hygiene, a somewhat familiar voice caused his eyes to snap upwards.

He could barely believe his eyes.

Louis has had a lot of boyfriends in the past, even a few girlfriends when he was still in the phase of trying to convince himself that he was into them. Jordan was his first ever boyfriend.

Jordan. Or course he remembered Jordan, with his shining eyes and his dark hair, now pushed upwards. He seemed to grow out of his lanky, awkward teenager state and now here he is - leaning against the receptionist's desk, a lab coat of some sort draped over his shoulders.

He is a doctor. Louis' ex boyfriend is a doctor.

"Louis!" The familiar voice spoke up, pulling him out of his thoughts and making him glance up to meet the boy's eyes. "It's been ages, man!"

Louis could only open his mouth and close it again, giving him a little nod. Jordan was too happy to be real.

"You're a doctor," He blurts out. The boy only beams at him.

"That I am!" He laughs. "Paediatrician. And what brings you here?"

Louis is snapped back to reality. He has a boyfriend, a beautiful wonderful smart boyfriend who's just getting his eyes checked in the room opposite them.

"Harry," He says. Jordan tilts his head to the side questioningly, and Louis wants to slap himself. "My boyfriend. He's - getting his eyes checked?"

"Oh, mate!" Jordan exclaims. "That's great - the optical department is great, bet you his eyes will be as good as new as soon as he comes out of that room,"

"Oh," Louis draws out. "Yeah, I bet,"

The other boy grins at him one last time, before pulling a pen out of his pocket. "We have to go out for coffee some time, it's been far too long, yeah?"

Louis can only watch in silence as the boy uncaps the pen with his teeth and scribbles his number neatly down his own arm.

"I'll see you soon, Louis!"

And then Jordan's gone. Just like that.

-

When Louis got home later that evening he was full on dinner that Anne has prepared and giggly on the kisses Harry placed all over his face. He felt great, especially after kissing Harry into his mattress, leaving him panting and writhing. He had brand new red marks sucked over the skin of his neck and his collarbones, and Harry was the same. He tucked the boy in, licking into his mouth one last time before leaving. And now here he was.

"Heya, babe," Zayn called out from his own bedroom. Which was quite the surprise, considering that the boy seemed to live in three places only - the living room, the kitchen, and Liam's apartment.

This was quickly explained when Louis stepped into his bedroom, his eyes dropping on Liam who was leaning against the wall, grinning at him.

"Zayn. Hello, Liam. What are you doing here?" Louis asked politely. He took his phone out, glancing at the clock. Maybe there was enough time to escape before the headboard banging began.

Louis stares at them. Just staying the night, Liam is going to say. Hope that's okay, Lou. I could make dinner.

"Just staying the night," Liam said, and Louis wants to break into an opera number in the middle of their flat. "Is that okay, Lou?"

"Sure thing," Louis grinned.

"Do you want dinner? I could make it,"

Louis wants to laugh and cry at the same time. "No, I'm alright. Have a good night,"

Zayn scowled at him, and Louis quickly rushed to his room. With earphones in his ears and his blood rushing in his veins he fell asleep.

-


	19. 18

Louis' and Harry's relationship was blossoming well. Over the weeks the older boy took him on many dates to a lot of different places, once even taking him to the cinema as Harry had pleaded him to do so. They sat through the movie, Harry laughing along when others laughed and Louis even pulling the classic stretch-arm-over-shoulder move, making the younger boy giggle into his chest.

As November came to a close and leaves turned to dust on the ground, the world turned cold and quiet. Christmas was coming quickly, and Louis had plans.

Each and everyday Louis wanted to shout it to the world about how much in love he was with a beautiful, beautiful boy. But maybe - just maybe, he should start by actually telling it to the beautiful boy himself first.

And here they were, a box burning a hole into the back of Louis' pocket. They were cuddled closely on Harry's sofa, the soft hum of one songs on the younger boy's iTunes library in the earphones they were sharing.

Louis gently pushed his fingers through the boy's soft hair, fingers pausing when he felt a slight bump under his fingertips. He couldn't help but beam at the boy as he ran his fingers across the hair tie, laughing softly to himself.

"What?" Harry slurred out, resting his head on the boy's shoulder.

"Nothing, princess," Louis replied quietly, pressing his lips to the baby soft skin of Harry's cheeks, trailing them up his face and gently kissing over his shut eyes. "Love your hair,"

A slight flush appeared over the boy's cheeks. "M' not a princess," He muttered, chewing on the inside of his cheek for a few seconds. "Do you really? Mum said girls do this but - it's getting so long, you know? I just-"

Interrupting the boy, Louis took Harry's jaw in his hand, tilting his head upwards. The younger boy gave him a questioning look, before pouting a little, at which Louis couldn't help but lean in. He kissed the corner of his lips before kissing him harder, licking into his mouth. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip, gently parting both his lips and brushing his tongue over Harry's.

When he pulled away, Harry breathed out deeply into his neck. He turned his head in Louis' direction, his eyelashes fluttering a little.

"Harry," The boy mumbled, kissing his flushed skin. He reached up with both hands to push some of the hair back, tuck the loose strands behind his ears. "Harry, babe,"

Instead of replying, Harry pushed into his hands, humming a little to show that he was listening. 

"Got something for you," Louis muttered against his lips, finally reaching back into his pocket with shaky hands. He brought out the small box, letting Harry feel it out with his hands, a curious look upon his features.

"Lou - you shouldn't have, honestly-"

The boy hushed him with a kiss on his lips. "Of course, but I wanted to,"

Harry took in a shaky sigh, shaking his head a little. However, Louis could see the small smile forming on his lips.

"Where do you-" Harry muttered, trying to figure out the box. He turned it in his hands, flushing pink on his cheeks. "Sorry -

could you show me - how do you open it? Please. Sorry,"

Louis let out a light laugh, squeezing Harry's arm before leading his fingers to where there was a small dent. Once the younger boy successfully popped the box open, he placed it down on the blanket covering both of their legs.

He once again let his fingers carefully trail down the velvet finish or the box, letting out a small gasp.

"Oh," he breathed. "Thank you,"

His fingers were shaking a little when they reached inside, freezing when they brushed over the cold metal.

"Louis-" he let out a breath. "I - no, Lou-"

Louis could only grin at the flustered boy, taking his hands in his own and reaching inside the box, bringing out the jewellery item.

He was quite proud of himself for choosing it, if he was being honest. It was a silver chain with a pretty, simple ring hanging off it. It was small, delicate and simply Harry.

Said boy was still blinking rapidly, feeling out the necklace Louis had placed into his hands. In fact, he looked like he was about to cry.

"You alright?" Louis chuckled. He wrapped his arms around Harry's middle from the back, pulling him closer than possible and pressing a small kiss on his cheek. "Do you like it?"

"I - fuck," Harry swore, making Louis raise his eyebrow a little in surprise. "I love it, it's beautiful, Oh - Lou, you seriously didn't have to- and Christmas is coming up, it must have- oh,"

"Consider it an early Christmas present," The older boy simply nosed at his jaw. "Want me to put it on for you, babe?"

Harry blinked slowly, trailing his fingers over the silver ring. "God - It must have cost you a fortune-"

"No, it didn't," Louis lied. He hugged the warm body closer, running his hands over Harry's. "Anything for my boy. Here, I'll put it on,"

The boy tilted his head forwards, giving Louis neck space to clasp the necklace around his neck. Once it was securely in place, Harry took the ring in his hand, pulling it slightly along the chain.

"Lou - thank you, seriously, it's gorgeous, I'm sure-"

"Just like you, then," Louis kissed him softly for a minute, holding his head tilted back. "Harry - babe?"

"Hmm?"

Louis took in a deep breath. "I do love you a whole lot, you know?"

Harry froze a little in his arms, his fingers pausing on Louis' thigh, digging in softly. Louis could hear his breathing hitch. The older boy reached up to run his fingers through his hair, gently scratching at his scalp.

"Babe? Harry, darling,"

Harry simply leaned up, kissing his jaw gently, fingers running over the soft skin.

"You don't," The younger boy gently sucked at the space under Louis' jaw, at which said boy quickly pushed him back, pinning him against the back of the sofa, making him blink in confusion.

"Harry, bloody hell. Don't tell me I don't when I can feel it in every single part of my body. Trust me, I know love when I can feel it," Louis mumbled. The younger boy blinked slowly, a small smile curling onto his lips which Louis instantly pressed his own lips to. "I love you, and I really want you to know that. Do what you want with that information,"

"Oh," Harry breathed out shyly. He only nodded a little, letting himself lean back and relax against Louis' body.

Louis knew the boy wasn't ready to return the feeling (yet, he hoped) and so he only hugged him closer. He nosed at the back of his neck, breathing in.

"What are you doing on Christmas?" The older boy asked him in a quiet mutter. He knew Harry always spent his time with his closest family, since the boy told him before.

"Well," Harry cleared his throat quietly. He was still slightly giddy from what Louis told him, his cheeks glowing a pretty pink. He opened his eyes, humming a little. "Er - mum doesn't want to go down to nan's this year, Gem's coming down for two weeks. Nothing new, some people might come down,"

"Sounds good - listen, Harry." Louis mumbled to him, kissing under his ear. "Like - I always go to my mum's, yeah? And my birthday's Christmas Eve..."

"Yeah..."

"And I would love to spend it with you. So, what do you say - we go down to my mum's just before my birthday and then I drive you back that evening so you're home for Christmas?"

Harry couldn't help the small smile on his face, tucking his head into the boy's neck.

"My gorgeous boy," Louis added, letting his lips curl up in a small smile.

"I would love to," Harry giggled softly. "But - don't you want family time? Like, properly. Without me,"

"You're my boyfriend, baby," Louis muttered against his skin. "And you take your boyfriends to see your family. Alright?"

"Yeah, okay," Harry breathed out quietly, reaching up with his hands to feel out Louis' face, shaky fingers trailing over his cheeks. "Thank you, Lou. Really,"

"It's nothing, babe,"

Harry only smiled gently before reaching forward with his hands once again, hesitating a little. They waited a few minutes in silence, before the younger boy spoke up again. "Can I?"

"Course, darling."

Harry let his smile grow even larger and even more beautiful as he brushed his fingertips over Louis' soft skin. He trailed them up his face, dipping a little into his hair. "I - like, I hope it doesn't bother you when I do it and if it does then-"

The older boy only laughed softly, his arms squeezing tighter around Harry as he pulled the boy impossibly close, brushing his lips over his ear. "You are so beautiful,"

Harry let out a shaky breath. "I'm scared, you know? People look at each other every day and it's nothing special, of course but - God, I would kill just for a second of being able to see you,"

Louis only shook his head, curling his hand around the boy's jaw and kissing him softly. He let Harry shift a little, pressing an uncomfortable elbow into his ribs and giggling into his mouth. Once he finally pulled away, Harry's eyes were shining.

"Come on, now. You don't need that, you're alright without seeing plain old me, eh?"

Harry grunted a little in disagreement, but smiled softly nevertheless. "Can you tell me what we look like?"

"What we look like?" Louis repeated with a questioning tone to his voice. Harry often had asked him to describe himself and he always rattled on about his boring straight hair and blue eyes and sometimes he even asked him to describe Harry himself, speaking softly about how everything about him is pure beauty - yet now, he was asking for something more.

"Like - you. I can figure out what you look like, I feel your face everyday. But - say you didn't know us, and you were walking past on the street. How would you describe that?"

Louis took his bottom lip between his teeth, humming a little. He let his eyes trail over the boy's beautiful, soft features.

"I would see happiness," Louis replied eventually. This was every level of sappy exceeded. Like a massive ball of cheese. "I would see a happy short dude holding hands with a clumsy happy boy with limbs abnormally long who has a little bounce to his walk, with gorgeous long hair and bright eyes - God, I feel ridiculous. Harry, you have pulled me apart and changed me into a hopeless romantic."

Harry giggled a little, and Louis could see true happiness written across his features. "Please, go on!"

Louis rolled his eyes, but squeezed his boy tighter. "I would think they are impossibly cute and most definitely gay. Just look at that short one's trousers. The taller one has a bloody ponytail."

"Hey - what's wrong with my ponytail?"

As if he was snapped back to reality and reminded of Harry's great hair, Louis instantly shoved his hands into the messy locks. "Nothing's wrong with your ponytail. And - Harry, wait, no-"

Harry instantly scrambled to pull the hair tie off, a crimson red colouring his cheeks. Louis grabbed his hands, pulling them away just in time and holding them in his own, bringing them to his lips and placing a gentle kiss on the soft skin.

"Leave it, babe. You look beautiful,"

"But-"

"No butts,"

Harry's cheeks flushed more. "I just wanted

to get it off my face," He muttered.

"Good," Louis mumbled. He couldn't keep his eyes off the boy's face. When Harry's empty gaze met his, his breath felt as though it had been knocked out of his lungs and he felt a burn in his throat. He wanted to kiss every inch of his peachy skin, explore every hidden part of the boy. He wanted to hold him tight forever, take him home. He wanted to wake up every single morning with Harry in his bed, sleepily blinking up at him. Instead, he sighed in content and leaned against him.

-

"You actually met Jordan?" Zayn questioned quietly from where he was perched atop Liam's lap. He snapped his gum in his mouth, chewing slowly. "Like. The Jordan?"

"The Jordan. Bloody hell, I almost jumped a mile when I saw him,"

Jordan was quite a big deal. He was Louis' only 'proper' boyfriend in the past, and he was greatly admired by both Zayn and Liam. He was just - perfect in every sense. The looks, the attitude. Perfect to everyone - but to Louis.

"What's he look like now, then?" Zayn asked from the sofa, fiddling with his pencil. He had his legs tucked under his body, stretched out long and a sketchpad perched on his lap.

"Changed a bit," Louis shrugged. He struggled to think back to the day before, eventually settling on another rise and fall of his shoulders. "Not much I can say, really,"

"Did he talk to you?" Liam asked, careful eyes watching the oldest boy as he leaned forward to take a gulp out of the glass beer bottle.

"He did," Louis mumbled with a nod. He sat back against the sofa. "Can we not talk about Jordan? Zayn's got his exams coming up soon, yeah? What you doing for that, mate?"

He could see Liam raising an eyebrow at him at the sudden change of subject, letting it slip as he focused on Zayn's grin, and his enthusiastic answer.

"I want to have a proper art studio, like at home," The boy continued, his dark eyes shiny. "Liam has space, a spare room,"

Even from where he was sitting across from the pair, Louis could see Liam squeezing his best mate's hip.

"Speaking of which, we wanted to tell you something-"

"Not getting married or anything, are you?" Louis jokingly laughed. He stopped laughing when he noticed Liam's uncomfortable look, that face he did with the furrowed brows and his lips all pouty. Zayn laughed nervously. Louis blinked at them.

"You're not getting married," Louis repeated in a stern voice.

Liam quickly shook his head. "No, mate, we're not getting married, c'mon."

"What's this about, then?" Louis swallowed thickly as he eyed the pair suspiciously.

"I want to move in with Liam," Zayn mumbled. He glanced up at Louis after a few minutes of silence, taking in his blank face. "Look - it's just down the hall. Lou - c'mon,"

Liam quickly excused himself, slipping away to Zayn's room. It's all making sense now, in Louis' head. That's why Zayn needs those many cardboard boxes.

"Z," Louis groans. The younger boy throws himself over his lap, hugging him close. "You're leaving me all on my own,"

"Hardly on your own, babe. You've got your Harry, hm? Lots of other mates. You can finally be free, get an empty room," Zayn nodded pointedly, at which the other boy blinked blankly, throwing his arm over his face.

"Won't be the same without you," Louis mumbled. "Just down the hall at Liam's, yeah?"

"Promise. Won't go any further," Zayn leaned in to press his lips to the the boy's cheek, pulling away and grinning.

The same night, the two boys decided to start packing up Zayn's things in his bedroom. Louis watched them for a few moments, helping here and there before finally slipping away into his own bedroom, into the warmth of his bed sheets.

Once his eyes starting aching from the bright television screen he reached over to where his phone was plugged in, dialling a familiar number.

When Harry picked up, Louis couldn't keep the smile off his face.

"I've been abandoned, H," The older boy whined into the phone. He listened to the boy's small giggle, wanting nothing more than to have him by his side. It was getting so ridiculous, the fact that he could barely handle one day without touching Harry. Or half a day.

"What happened?" The boy asked, voice soft over the phone.

"Zayn's moving out," Louis sighed softly, voice barely a quiet mumble. He reached forward for the television remote, flicking the screen off and burying himself deeper into the duvets. "Moving in with Liam down the hall. Remember Liam? Dog Liam?"

"Dog Liam," Harry giggled loudly. Louis' heart felt like it was going to pound straight out of his chest. He felt so close to Harry - like he was in his dark room with him, under the pastel pink bed sheets and trailing his fingers over Harry's skin, feeling out his delicate bones. "I remember dog Liam. Hey. Miss you."

"I miss you too," Louis sighed softly. He pressed the phone impossibly closer to his ear, squashing the side of his face with the device. "Wish you were here,"

After those words left his mouth, Louis was enlightened. He was hit with the best idea he'd ever had and - he didn't know how Harry would react or in that case anybody who has any connection with Harry. But. The idea was there, lingering in the air of Louis' quiet bedroom. It would have to wait, though.

"Me too," Harry answered, his voice speaking no lies.

"God. I really want to kiss you right now,"

Harry laughed lightly, and Louis could practically see his cheeks flushed in his mind.

"I would love you to," Harry muttered. "We're really cheesy, aren't we?"

"Yeah - but it's alright, hm? No one's to stop us. I love you so much, sweetheart."

"Thank you," Harry replied, his tone softer than ever and words like silk. "When can I see you?"

Louis heart fluttered at the boy's words. He was so careless about the phrase "see", throwing it around like it was nothing. Louis didn't know how it didn't burn a hole right through his chest every time he said it.

"Actually - I want to talk to Anne about something. Could I do that sometime soon? Then we can come back here. Free house and all that,"

"Please," Harry instantly said, his voice light and a little desperate. "Can we do that? Please,"

"Of course, precious. Friday, yeah? You're all mine on Friday."

"I'm all yours everyday," Harry supplied helpfully.

"I love you," Louis told him one last time. And he meant it - he meant it with all his heart and his every touch and his every action. He was in love with Harry, and all he could hope for was the boy showing him the same feeling one day.


	20. 19

The sun was slowly setting, clouds melting into a puddle of dark orange as the city lights began to shine brighter. The sounds around Harry were more prominent as he slowly moved down the paved pathway.

He felt more confident about himself ever since he was assured by Louis that everything he did was perfectly alright. He was able to walk more relaxed, the cane quietly tapping on the ground in front of him. He still found the glasses pretty useless, however, which explained why he had them on his head tucked over two of his braids rather than on his eyes.

When he finally reached his house, he braced himself with his hand against the outside wall and folded his cane, digging through his pocket with the free hand to find his keys.

Walking inside, he was pleasantly surprised.

"I'm home!" He shouted into the house as soon as he pulled the front door shut behind him. When he was kneeling down to pull one of his boots off, he almost jumped out of his skin when he felt gentle hands on his shoulders. His head snapped upwards, eyes searching for something. "Who's that? Sorry-"

He was pulled upwards and pulled into a warm, strong hug, arms holding him tight. Only when he inhaled the familiar scent he relaxed fully, melting into the other's arms. He instantly hugged back, leaning his head on their shoulder.

"Louis," He sighed softly, placing a small kiss on his shoulder. He felt the arms tighten around him with Louis pulling back a little, the boy pulling one arm away from his waist and gently taking his face in his hand, leaning in and kissing him softly.

"Good evening," Louis finally spoke up in a small voice, his arms still holding Harry tight. He felt happy - so, so happy. After the long day he spent studying at the library he was finally home and his boyfriend was here and he could smell his mother's cooking and it was Friday.

Once Harry greeted Anne with a kiss to her cheek and a happy sound at her announcing the dinner, him and the two settled down in front of the telly with food piled on their plates.

"How long have you been here?" Harry eventually asked in a small voice, turning his head to face Louis, who breathed out shakily in response.

"Well - I did say I want to chat to your mum 'bout something," He replied hesitantly, making Harry tilt his head in question. "I'm not telling you, yet. I've only been here an hour or two,"

"You boys staying here tonight?" Anne piped up from her seat, making Harry's eyes snap open. He smiled a little in her direction, letting Louis answer.

"I was thinking Harry and I could go back to mine," He replied, to which she hummed. Harry couldn't stop his grin from growing, ducking his head to at least attempt to be subtle. He was going to his boyfriend's house. He had a boyfriend.

"No funny business, boys," she reminded them, making Harry giggle a little. After hugging it out with his mum he lead Louis upstairs where they quickly packed an overnight bag for the boy.

"You want another one of those baggy shirts?" Louis spoke up after stuffing two spare white shirts into the bag, holding up another one. "Why do you have so many of these?"

"I don't know," Harry replied truthfully. He was flipping through his drawer, finally pulling out a pot of Vaseline and making a small noise of triumph. "They're comfy, innit,"

He could hear Louis coo quietly from where he was across the room, at which the boy flushed a little, ducking his head as he pocketed the pot of the lip balm.

"All ready? Just your phone and we can go," Louis finally spoke up, appearing at the boy's side, refusing when Harry asked to hold the bag himself, instead swinging it over his own shoulder.

"Grab my charger, will you? Just plugged in behind the bed, please,"

Louis dived over the soft mattress, missing Bamboo by an inch and pulling the plug out of the socket. Harry could hear him shoving it into the front packet of the bag and then an arm was being wrapped around his waist.

"Come on, then,"

-

Louis kindly donated one of his drawers to Harry, shoving all his clothes in there with a "all yours, babe". Harry was in awe.

"You know what your hair's doing to me?" Louis muttered after a few long minutes of silence whilst listening to the television with Harry and sharing a bowl of some kind of noodles. The younger boy blinked up at him questioningly. Louis wanted to die, a bit. "Bad things," He replied instead, groaning a little when the boy giggled and nonchalantly flipped one of the French braids over his shoulder.

Harry replied with a small smile, shifting a little so that he was sat on the older boy's lap comfortably, leaning forward a little to wrap his arms around his neck, holding his left wrist with his right hand. He blinked up at Louis' who couldn't help but reach up and tug gently at one of the braids.

He was more than surprised when Harry's eyes fluttered a little, his mouth falling open in a silent groan.

"Harry?" He mumbled quietly, scratching at the boy's head soothingly before reaching down and pulling on the left braid more forcefully. He almost had a heart attack when Harry's head fell back, his eyes rolling back with a mumble falling past his lips. "You like that?"

"Yes," Harry replied. He waited a second, and added, politely, "Please,"

Louis couldn't understand what it was doing to the boy, although as long as he was happy, so was the older boy. He tangled his hands into where the braids met his head and leaned forward to kiss his boy. Harry let out a small noise into his mouth, pliant and gentle.

"Love you," The older boy muttered into his mouth, finally pulling away. He couldn't help the fond feeling that tugged at his heart as he watched Harry's flushed face slip out of his view when the boy turned to face down. "Hey, don't hide your pretty face, princess,"

"M' not," Harry replied in a quiet mumble. He let his body drape over Louis', arms hooking around his neck and head resting on his shoulder. He tightened his legs around the boy's waist, clinging on.

"You're like a bloody monkey," Louis rolled his eyes, his fingertips lifting at the boy's shirt and running over the soft skin on his hips.

"Thanks," Harry replied wholeheartedly. He placed a small kiss on Louis' shoulder as if to prove his thankfulness. "What time is it?"

"Too early for you to run away," Louis replied. Nevertheless, he glanced over Harry's shoulder at the clock fixed on the wall above some house plants. "Just gone nine. Not too late,"

Harry curled his fingers around Louis' left wrist, attempting to hold it in place as he reached forward, tangling his other hand in the boy's shirt. He was just about to press his mouth to Louis', when a shrill sound echoed through the empty room, making him jump back in surprise.

"Shit - sorry," Louis swore, gently holding Harry by his hip with one hand and frantically digging around in his pocket with the other. He eventually pulled out his mobile, sliding his finger across the screen and breathing out a soft sigh at the regained silence of the room. "Let me just - hello?"

Harry shifted a little on his boyfriend's lap. It was absolutely okay for Louis to take calls, obviously, and he could only hope it was nothing serious. He just wished he wasn't pushed back down when he finally felt confident enough to do something without prompt.

"Jordan - how are you?" Louis asked into the phone. Harry wasn't sure who the boy was talking to, but seeing by his tone he wasn't irritated by the phone call in the slightest. "I'm good, just having a night in,"

The younger boy could hear the quiet hum of someone's voice on the other line. He wasn't sure what he was doing when he leaned forward to once again rest his chin on Louis' shoulder, sucking at the skin on his neck, under his ear.

"No - don't worry," Louis' tone was a little more breathy as his fingers dug deeper into the skin on Harry's hip. "You're definitely not interrupting anything,"

He arched upwards when Harry ran his tongue over the mark on his neck, and hissed a little when the boy bit over it. "I'm - no, no, I'm not alone. Harry."

Harry beamed, knowing that the boy's attention was once again on him. He trailed his fingers under Louis' shirt, running his fingertips over the heated skin. He opened his eyes, pulling back and hoping he was looking right into Louis' own.

"Could you wait a minute, Jordan? We've got a bit of a situation here," Louis muttered into the phone. He threw the phone onto the table, which Harry could hear due to the loud noise it landed on the wooden surface with. The younger boy let out a squeak of surprise as he was suddenly flipped over, Louis pressing him down against the cold leather cushioning of the sofa and attaching his lips to the boy's neck. Harry felt his eyes flutter shut at the sudden gesture from the boy, his arms instantly going to circle the older's body and pull him closer.

"Is someone jealous?" Louis mumbled into Harry's ear, making a cold shudder run down the boy's spine. He shook his head in response the best day he could with him being pressed down to the seat, smiling the slightest bit.

"Not at all," Harry replied quietly, reaching up blindly with one hand and running it through his boyfriend's hair, pushing his head down a little as he leaned up, kissing him right on the mouth. Once he pulled back, he blinked his eyes open and smiled softly. "I'm not jealous. Just want you,"

"You have me," Louis muttered in response, his heart fluttering at their own cheesy exchange of words and melting at his boy blinking up at him.

"I know," Harry whispered quietly. His grin slowly faded into a sweet, small smile as rose pink flushed over his cheeks. "And it makes me really happy, you know?"

"Of course it makes you happy, I'm Louis bloody Tomlinson," He grinned down at the pretty boy. "That aside, you also make me super happy. Thought you would have already been aware what with the fact I have confessed my love days ago, however here we are again,"

Harry seemed to have a smile forever stuck on his face, and it was the most beautiful sight Louis has ever seen.

"I like to hear it,"

"Okay," Louis said. He leaned closer, pressing his nose into Harry's chin and breathing in deeply. "Love you,"

Harry let his body relax as he listened to the telly in the background, gentle fingers brushing through his hair and a strong arm holding him tight to his boyfriend's body. He didn't bother closing his eyes, instead staring into the darkness of his sight, clenching his jaw at the emptiness.

Louis had gone back to watching the television, after having texted his friend. He had turned his phone off instantly after, not wanting to he interrupted from doing nothing - he wanted to simply enjoy his evening with his boy.

Speaking of whom, Harry was blinking up at him when he glanced down.

"What?" Louis asked in a content mumble. "You look as though you've had an epiphany,"

"I'm confused," Harry replied, instead of explaining the questionable look on his face. Louis watched quietly as the boy turned his head a little, his gaze fixing on the wall beside the sofa. He blinked a few times, staring deeply at where the paint was starting to fade and the photograph hung up was tilted by a quarter of an inch.

"What are you confused about, baby?" Louis questioned, slightly puzzled himself. He had torn his gaze away from the television completely, instead turning his whole body towards his boy.

"I can't wrap my head around the concept of seeing," Harry explained. He blinked a little, once again appearing to be glancing at Louis. "How?"

"I can't wrap my head around the idea of not seeing, for that matter," Louis shrugged at the boy. Despite his joking tone, he could see how frustrated Harry was getting. Luckily, he was getting used to the boy doing it - he quickly wrapped himself tighter around him, tucking his face into his neck.

He trailed his hand down Harry's arm, grasping his hand in his own when he noticed the boy going to pinch at his own skin in frustration. Instead, he silently breathed into his skin as the boy squeezed his hand with all he had.

"Sorry," Harry mumbled. Louis shifted a little, the couch squeaking in protest under their weight.

"Maybe - bed." Louis lamely suggested, at which Harry closed his eyes, nodding once. "Bed. Come on,"

He stood up, helping his boy up at and letting Harry grasp onto his elbow as they trailed out of the living room after turning the telly off. The silence of Louis' bedroom was soothing - quiet hum of the water flowing through the heating system around the flat being the only thing disturbing the perfect peace.

Once they settled beneath the covers, hands holding tightly between their bodies, Louis leaned forward to place one seemingly last kiss to each of the boy's eyelids and eventually to his lips with all he had.

"Harry?" He questioned, his voice barely above a whisper. The boy hummed to show his attention, eyes closed and face peaceful.

Louis thought about every night being this way, his boy beside him in his bed. Every morning, waking up to the beauty that was Harry so close to him. Every day spent together, doing all the little things no one ever pays attention to unless it's too late.

The older boy scooted over closer to his boy, kissing him just under his ear. "Move in with me?"

He knew it was a mistake as soon as he felt Harry tense up, blinking his eyes open questioningly, his mouth falling open. After long second seeming like forever, Harry simply offered a small smile and a shake of his head, telling him no.

Louis could only stare at him.


	21. 20

"Eat up,"

Louis watched across the table in silence as the boy blinked down sleepily at his plate. The older couldn't say he was a brilliant cook, however he gave the English breakfast his best go, however Harry only hopelessly poked at the sausage with his fork. His hair was tousled from sleep, braids curling around the top of his neck, soft strands of hair sticking out all around his head.

"Are you not hungry?" Louis asked quietly. He was tired - so tired, not having slept last night after seeing the look of bewilderment on his boy's face at his suggestion. He wanted the best for Harry - and he was right with his earlier prediction, he couldn't do that.

Louis crossed his arms on the table and laid his head down on them with a defeated sigh. The scraping of a fork against a porcelain plate somewhere in the distance made him cringe into his arms, almost jumping out of his skin when long minutes later gentle fingers shakily touched his elbow, the hand trailing down his arm and eventually taking his hand.

He didn't bother raising his head.

"Lou?" The boy quietly muttered from across the table. He must have taken Louis' breathy sigh as a noise of acknowledgement, because he squeezed his hand tighter. "Thanks - I'm done. It was really lovely. And it's really nice of you to cook for me,"

Louis laughed humourlessly into his arms, blinking rapidly to push back the stupid tears that pinched at the corners of his eyes. He felt like a right dick, clearly ignoring Harry's kind words despite the boy's best intentions.

"Please - talk to me?" Harry mumbled, his voice a little higher than usual in panic, at which Louis eventually glanced up. Harry was staring straight down at him with a soft, hopeful gaze.

"I - I can't," Louis swallowed thickly. He drummed the fingers of his other hand against the marble counter, laughing a little to himself. "I'm sorry, Harry."

"What are you apologising for?" The younger boy's voice was now tinted with worry, his eyes flashing with something other than adoration for Louis.

The older once again let his head drop down into his arms, letting out a breathy sigh without saying a word. Eventually, he pulled himself up from the table, pulling Harry along by his hand which resulted in the boy stumbling a little in surprise. Louis glanced at him briefly, patting his pocket to feel whether his car keys were in there.

"Lou?" Harry squeaked out quietly, eyes wide. "I didn't mean to make you upset-"

"I'll drive you home," Louis stated. "Yeah? I'll - you can spend time with your family-"

Harry stayed still in horror as the boy collapsed into the stool once again, letting go of his hand and letting out a tearful sob into his hands. As Harry listened his heart was thudding hard against his chest, throat threatening to close up.

The younger boy reached forward to feel where the table was with his fingers, trailing his hand across to find his boyfriend. When he finally brushed his hand over Louis' shoulder, he reached down and wrapped his arms around the boy, leaning down and kissing the back of his head.

"Please don't be mad at me," He said, voice quiet. "Let me explain? I hate seeing you upset,"

"You're not," Louis mumbled.

Harry flinched a little at his choice of words, blinking a few times with a soft sigh. "I might not be, but I'm aware of the situation, Lou,"

The boy wordlessly circled the stool, settling down on Louis' shaking thighs, at which the older boy let a little grunt slip past his mouth. Despite his obvious behaviour, he still let his right hand linger on Harry's lower back to prevent him from falling back, the other going to curl around his thigh.

"You're not ready," Louis whispered quietly. He watched as Harry moved his head a little, not confirming anything with a nod but showing his hesitation. His tongue flicked out to wet his lips, a nervous habit that Louis had been observing for a while. He didn't mean to make Harry nervous - it was completely unintentional, out of this world. It was the last thing he'd ever think he would do, and here he was, the beautiful boy's eyes big and wet. "Like - I do understand. And 'm sorry,"

"Um," Harry drawled out. "I would love to. Live with you, I mean. It's just - it's hard?"

Louis blinked up at him, nodding slowly. He doesn't know what was going through his head - of course Harry would never live here with him.

"It's hard," Louis repeated, voice slow and steady.

"Yes," The boy replied in a soft mumble. He reached forward with his right hand, fingertips brushing over Louis' cheek, light touches dusting over his forehead and eventually into his hair. "I understand that you're in need of someone to live with you - and I understand why you're asking me. It's just not quite possible, you know?"

Louis hummed a little as he felt the gentle touch of Harry's fingers brushing over his bottom lip. He pushed into the touch when his hand came to rest on his cheek. "See, right now I'd be looking you in the eyes as I say this. But I can't - this is the best I can do, looking at your face,"

"It's okay," Louis was quick to assure him, at which the boy let a small smile slip.

"That's exactly why I can't be here, Lou. I'm blind. There's no beating around the bush, sweet. And it's alright - I've accepted it, and I know you have too. That, however, doesn't change the fact that I can't see anything - I can't see this room, I can't see the area I'm in, I can't - bloody hell, I can't see you."

Louis wanted to cry. He wanted to cry so bad, but he felt as though all his tears had been drained from him, together with most of the feelings in his heart.

"And I wish I could, I wish I was like you or Zayn, or my own mother - wish I could see the world how you see it. But I don't, and I know you know that. I know I don't need to remind you - but I'm not ready, I don't think,"

"Darling," Louis croaked out, reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Harry's ear, admiring the way his eyes fluttered shut at the gentle touch. "Baby, you have to let the world take you on someday,"

Harry visibly swallowed, his eyes moving behind his eyelids as though he was dreaming, seeing an entirely different world behind closed eyes. "I know,"

"Why can't that time be now, my love?" Louis whispered, taking his boy's face into his hands as gently as possible, brushing his thumbs over the boy's cheekbones. He tilted his head upwards and kissed him softly, breathing in Harry, wanting to surround himself with everything and everyone the boy surrounded himself with.

"I'm not," Harry offered hopelessly. He blinked a little, as though he was confused at his own words, and after a moment of consideration, he added - "I'm not prepared, I guess? Half a year ago if you would have asked me where I would be now, I'd say studying at home. Nothing particular, nothing enjoyable. Instead, I'm with you - you're here, and you're real, and you're the most beautiful person I have ever had the chance I meet, Louis,"

The older boy's throat was dry. "Well, why won't you be with me, then?"

"I am with you," Harry replied quietly. He let his head drop onto Louis' shoulder, kissing the skin where it peeked out from his cotton shirt. "It's my dream to be with you every single day, but it's impossible. I can't see, I can't pay the rent, I don't work. I bring nothing but problems, Lou,"

"You're anything but a problem, sweetheart. You're my everything,"

Harry's eyes once again opened, and Louis found him looking deeply into his own.

"I love you," Louis added, his last attempt. Harry only squeezed his legs tighter around his thighs, draping his body over him. "I love you, so so much. My beautiful, handsome boy, you are the kindest person to grace this world."

"I - Thank you," The younger boy flushed a bright colour. "Can you ask me again?"

Louis swallowed on air, tightening his arms around his boy. "Will you move in with me?"

"Someday," Harry replied. Louis' heart sparkled back to life with a newfound hope.

-

"You said no," Niall said quietly. He eyed the boy sitting down on the carpet of his living room, and let out a massive groan. "A boy asks you to live with him. You say no. Christ on a stick. What is wrong with you?"

"What isn't wrong with me?" Harry joked back, body relaxed, one earphone in his ear as he rested, eyes closed and leaning his body against the sofa.

"Why'd you do that, eh?"

"I think you're missing something very important," Harry huffed. He continued flipping trough the different songs on this old iPod he had found in his drawer. "I don't even know where the bloody flat is,"

"So?" Niall rolled his eyes. "Louis'll show you,"

"I can't rely on him for the rest of my life, Ni. I have to live,"

"Exactly, you have to live. I'm just reminding you that you're currently living with your mother and denying the chance to live with your own boyfriend,"

Harry froze a little. "But - it's easier. For everyone. Mum has me, I have mum - for starters, it's a house. I can't possibly function in a flat,"

"You can, babe," Niall replied, reaching up to rub at his chin. "You just have to go into deep, deep training,"

"I don't have money," Harry whispered, ducking his head slightly. The older boy only rolled his eyes once again.

"Harry, he knows you. He wouldn't ask you if that was a bother, you know that,"

The young boy bit into his lip. What if his best mate was right, and he was silly to deny he wanted to live with Louis?

"You have another reason," Niall said quietly. "Come on then, tell me,"

"I don't want him to get tired of me," Harry replied, his voice merely above a whisper. Before Niall could cut in and protest, he continued. "And I know he will. He's one of those people, he moves on fast,"

"Not when it comes to being in a relationship with you," The Irish boy replied. "And you do know that, Harry,"

"I don't want to seem useless," Harry sighed softly, tugging the earphone out of his ear. "He would have to help me with - well, everything, at the start. I don't want to deal with that. I want to be independent,"

"Ask him for space, then," Niall replied. He could tell his persuasion was working, because now Harry had turned his body fully towards him, listening to him intensely. "It's your choice, H. But personally, it wouldn't do any harm. He's a good lad, and he'll definitely let you back out if you think something's fishy,"

Harry eventually nodded at him, a small smile growing on his face. "I need time - I need some time, but you're right. It is a good opportunity, isn't it?"

"Course it is. He's good for you, H," Niall's voice had softened slightly, something that Harry doesn't get to witness often, definitely not on a regular basis. "Wish you could see the way he looks at you,"

Harry felt himself flush red. "You're being serious?"

"Hundred percent, mate. He is literally heart eyed when he's around you, I'm not even joking. It's slightly beautiful and slightly sickening,"

Harry giggled a little, suddenly overwhelmed with the giddy feeling of happiness in his chest, his tummy.

"For Christ's sake, I don't give a shit if you can see my gob or not. But I do wish you at least had one chance to witness Louis looking at you," Niall mumbled, only making the boy blush more. "It's not fair, it's completely not fair. But nothing can be done, eh? Just give him love back, mate."

"You're so poetic," Harry giggled once again. Nevertheless, he nodded a little and opened his arms, welcoming Niall into a warm hug. "Thank you, Ni,"

"Not a problem, just telling you the truth." He patted his back. "Keep me updated on this, will you?"

"Of course I will,"

As Harry once again shoved the earphones into his ears, he grinned stupidly to himself. He was loved - and he was in love.


	22. 21

Louis reached up to fix the dark sunglasses on his face, squinting his eyes behind the tinted frames as he pushed them higher up his nose.

 

"It's so nice to finally talk to you properly," The man sitting opposite him said, at which Louis smiled politely. He curled his fingers around the cold glass which held his beer, and brought it up to his lips to take a sip.

 

It had been a long day, with the young man having just finished his afternoon shift at the supermarket. He couldn't say that he wasn't surprised at the phone call he had received as soon as he stepped out of his workplace, that being Jordan asking him to meet up. And who was Louis to say no to a short evening out?

 

"Yes," He replied after a few seconds, finally looking away from where the sun was slowly setting behind the buildings of the town square. They were sat in a pub garden, benches and umbrellas propped up to provide shadow on sunny days - not that they had many of those. London was a dull place, Louis thought. "It's been too long,"

 

"Far too long," Jordan agreed enthusiastically. He reached down into the small red bag he was holding, pulling out a salted chip. "You know, you never really told me what you're up to these days. What are you doing?"

 

Louis cleared his throat, finally focusing his gaze on the man in front of him. He let his eyes roam over his sharp features, the small stubble growing over his jaw. It was so different from what he was now used to, having Harry by his side with his soft, hairless skin and his actual hair definitely on the longer side, flowing down to his shoulders. As he pushed his sunglasses up into his own hair, he couldn't help but smile back at Jordan when he noticed the boy watching him with fascination.

 

"Got me flat, started working. Been through a pub job, now stuck at Morrison's. Good pay, though, good pay. Ain't complaining, pays the bills,"

 

Jordan grinned. "Surely, that isn't your dream job though, is it? What happened to your acting career?"

 

Louis couldn't help but tilt his head back as he laughed. He had forgotten about sharing his deepest dream with this boy back years ago. "Oh mate, think that's out of order now. Got responsibilities,"  
"Oh go on, what's stopping you?"

 

Louis paused for a second, letting his smile linger. "Nah. I'm content where I am, to be honest. Have a job, an alright social life, have a boy. Life ain't treating me too bad, is it?"

 

"Not at all," Jordan doesn't let his smile stop. "The guy you were with at the hospital - what was it, Harry?"

 

"Yeah, Harry," Louis let himself smile softly at the mention of his boy's name, slightly surprised that Jordan had remembered. "Great lad,"

 

"He seems great," Jordan added, at which the other couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. "Not that I know him - but since you're so happy, he must be great."

 

"Really is," Louis laughed softly. He didn't know why it felt natural talking about his current boyfriend to his former boyfriend. It should be awkward, should it not? "How about you, then? Any saucy news about your love life?"

 

Jordan chuckled quietly. "Nothing new. Not after you, anyway,"

 

Louis couldn't say he wasn't slightly shocked. He and Jordan had broken it off years ago, with him managing to squeeze two other boys between that and the present day, one of them being Zayn. Surely, a good looking man like Jordan had to be popular amongst not only men, but also girls.

 

"You liar," Louis grinned. "Come on, who's on your arm?"

 

"I swear, Louis," Jordan shot him a small smile before leaning down and taking a drink out of his own beer bottle. "Nobody. I'm a free man,"

 

Louis raised his eyebrow but did not question it further, instead taking another drink out of his glass and pulling his phone out of his pocket.

 

"You in a rush?" Jordan asked in a quiet voice. When Louis glanced up at him, he saw the slightly disappointed look on the man's face, hidden behind a soft smile.

 

"Not really, no," Louis replied. He cleared his throat, and pressed his unlock button to glance at the time, his eyes stopping to read over the notifications showing the texts Harry had sent him. Ever since the boy had discovered the speech-to-text option in his phone, he'd been texting him non stop, before never bothering with pressing his phone keys and listening to it speak out with each letter, as it would have taken too long.

 

'I'm lonely there is no one home and i lost the tv remote'  
'Fuck i can't even find it mum is gonna kill me'  
'Lou stop doing stuff'

 

Louis laughed to himself, typing out a quick 'looked under the coffee table babe ?? xxxx' before shutting off his phone and once again adverting his eyes to Jordan, who was staring down at his beer, his finger tracing the thick glass.

 

"You know where me flat is, yeah?" Louis asked eventually, making the boy look up and nod hesitantly. "Great! Honestly, pop in whenever you want,"

 

"Thanks," Jordan grinned at him. "I guess this is your subtle way of saying you gotta run?"

 

"I don't," Louis protested. "However, it is getting dark. I am clearly not wearing my evening attire," He joked, motioning down towards his jumper. It wasn't a lie - English evenings were particularly cold during the winter.

 

"Yeah, yeah," The other had rolled his eyes jokingly.

 

After the two parted with a quick hug, Louis wrapped his scarf around his neck and set off home.

 

-

 

"How is the lonely life treating you?" Zayn asked, making the older boy glare at him from across the room. He had Harry spread out over the entire sofa, himself perched in the corner with Harry's feet in his lap, sweatpants and fluffy socks. He had one hand loosely wrapped around one of the boy's ankles, making sure his leg won't slip and fall off his lap onto the cruel wooden floor beneath, and he held onto a mug of warm tea with his other hand.

 

"Lou isn't lonely," Harry muttered. He had his eyes closed, facing the ceiling above with a content smile on his face. Soft curls framed it, falling past his ears, spread out over the arm of the sofa where he was resting his head.

 

"Of course I ain't bloody lonely," Louis rolled his eyes at Zayn, who was grinning at them both. "Just gets a bit quiet in here, t's all."

 

Harry shifted a little at Louis' words, knowing that if his decision those few weeks ago had been different, the flat would not at all be quiet.

 

"It's not like you spend a lot of time here, anyway," Zayn shrugged a little, standing up and shaking any nonexistent dust off his trousers. He pulled a cigarette pack out of his jeans, glancing over at Louis with a questioning look.

 

"Don't you dare," Louis said quietly, watching the boy carefully. He was taking into consideration Harry's mild asthma, not wanting to risk anything. "Ain't smoking in here, mate. Get out on the balcony,"

 

"In order to get onto the balcony I need to go through your bedroom," Zayn pointed out, shifting from one foot to the other. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

 

Louis gave him a long look. "Why wouldn't it be a good idea?"

 

Zayn simply once again shrugged, eyeing Harry for a second with a somewhat knowing smirk at which Louis could only scoff.

 

"You are fucking ridiculous,"

 

"You coming with?"

 

Louis only shook his head, trying to push back the fact how much he wanted to. He missed it - having his best mate around every second, smoking out on the balcony in the middle of this night. But - he wouldn't swap this for anything - this, having a beautiful boy glancing at him with unknowing eyes and love filling his lungs instead of thick cigarette smoke.

 

"You smoke?" Harry asked, shifting a little and accidentally digging his foot into Louis' hip, making the boy grunt softly. "Sorry,"

 

"Not a problem, baby." Louis leaned forward and pressed a kiss on Harry's knee where the skin was visible, his sweatpants having ridden up his legs. "I do, sometimes. Not a regular thing, don't worry, sweetheart,"

 

"Oh, no, it's okay," Harry replied with a small nod. "I wouldn't mind, you know. Just wanted to know,"  
"I love you," Louis blurted out, lost for words and smiling softly at Harry's look of surprise every time he had said the three words.

 

"Thank you - and you always call me such sweet names," Harry muttered, his cheeks still flushed a light pink. "I can't come up with anything,"

 

"I don't have to think," Louis grinned. "I just look at you, and it comes to me."

 

Harry couldn't help the smile growing on his face as he playfully slapped his hand against Louis' shoulder. "Sap,"

 

The older boy sighed gleefully, stretching out in a yawn. "That's what I am,"

 

It was nearing Louis' birthday, with the first few days of December behind them. Frost dusted the grass outside in the early mornings when the boy had to set off for work, occasionally picking up Harry and driving him to the library where he preferred studying rather than in his bedroom. It had been a particularly cold day, air visible whenever anyone breathed out. Louis considered himself very lucky to be sat inside, with a warm boy by his side and heating warming him up.

 

Along with Louis' birthday came Christmas and the boy simply could not express how excited he was for the holiday this year. Harry and he had worked out a plan that worked for both of them, spending Christmas Eve with Louis' family and Christmas Day with Harry's. They were to set off a few days early, however, so that Louis could spend time with his relatives.

 

Then, they would come back to London, where they would spend the remainder of the holiday along with New Year's Eve with their friends.

 

"Penny for your thoughts?" Harry asked out of the silence, and Louis couldn't help but look at him in surprise. He was still shocked at how well the boy could read his feelings despite his lack of sight.   
Harry was looking in his direction, a small smile on his lips.

 

"Thinking," Louis replied, at which the boy pulled a face. "Just about the few weeks coming. So much time with you, how did I get so lucky?" He teased at which Harry grinned.

 

"You'll spend so much time with me that you'll get tired of me,"

 

"Never,"

 

At that moment, Zayn shuffled back into the room, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his blue hoodie.

 

"It's like you live here," He said to Harry as he walked past, patting the boy on the head before hopping down onto his own seat, curling in on himself once again. He fixed his gaze on the screen, unknowing to the flush colouring Harry's cheeks.

 

For the remainder of the night, the boys simply sat lounging around the living room, Harry eventually ending up curled around Louis, holding onto the boy's shirt with his face tucked into the back of his neck, warm breaths even against his skin as the boy slept peacefully.

 

"He is so cute," Zayn mumbled when he was finally gathering his things together and stuffing them into the massive pocket of the hoodie.

 

"Like I don't know," Louis grinned at him, waving him off. His own eyes were heavy, his body worn out from the productive day.

 

When Zayn stepped out, the faint smell of cigarettes still lingered in the cool air of the flat, mixed with an automatic air refresher plugged in somewhere in the hallway. The fire alarm beeped every few minutes quietly, reminding Louis that he soon needed to change the batteries, something he was putting off until it was completely necessary. With the television off, the only light entering the room was the dim street lamps illuminating the room, a few noises of the city entering through where it was slightly pulled open.

 

Louis turned his body around, gentle as he did not want to wake his boy. He jumped a little, however, when he was met with Harry's blurry eyes peeking at him blindly, his mouth parted every so slightly.   
"Sweetheart," He said quietly, reaching up to brush his fingers over Harry's soft cheek. The boy seemed to mirror his actions, raising his own hand and trailing his fingers across Louis' jaw. He wordlessly cupped his face in his hands, leaning forward and kissing him softly.

 

Louis couldn't help but admire the boy from this close - he had never seen him with almost no distance between them, heads on the same pillow. He could see each tiny freckle on Harry's nose, could count each one of his individual eyelashes if he wished to do so. He was mostly amazed at the boy's beautiful, beautiful yet empty eyes, the tiny speckle of gold in his left eye and the way it seemed like he was watching him right back, could see every part of Louis' face too.

 

He knew he couldn't. But sometimes - just sometimes, it was okay to pretend, he thought to himself as he closed his eyes, leaning forward and sighing softly against Harry's lips.


	23. 22

Louis was kind of entranced.

He knew that the younger boy thought he was still asleep and yet he couldn't help but watch the boy's actions. One of his delicate hands rested on Louis' shoulder, fingers gentle to not press too hard. The other hand was smoothing down his side, searching, exploring.   
When his fingertips slipped under Louis' cotton shirt and brushed over his heated skin, the boy seemed to be surprised at himself, briefly hesitating. He paused momentarily, before continuing to run his hand once again up his side, over his hip, over his shoulders.

Louis couldn't help but wonder what the boy was doing. He looked far too concentrated on his actions for them to he purely out of the blue. His eyes were closed but his eyebrows were furrowed, expression of determination shining through his features.

When Louis unwillingly twitched a little under Harry's hand, muscles waking up along with him in the early morning, the younger boy instantly stopped his actions, pulling his hand back to himself.

"Morning," Louis offered, voice hoarse. He stretched a little, arms above his head, sighing in content. A night on the sofa was always rough.

"Hi," Harry replied in a soft voice, dragging out the vowel and finally opening his eyes. He blinked a few times at the bright light and eventually smiled hesitantly, his eyes seeming to focus just above Louis' head. "Did I wake you?"

"Nah," He shook his head, reaching forward and taking Harry's hand in his own, careful to not look away from the boy's unseeing eyes as he wordlessly admired his lover's beauty. "Felt nice, whatever you were doing,"

The boy flushed a little, eyelashes fluttering. "Knew you were awake,"  
He muttered under his breath, his gaze moving down to fix on Louis' chest. "Wanted to see you,"

Louis' heart ached for the boy. He hated the thought of waking up in the morning and not being able to see the day, see whether the clouds outside were thick and grey and dark or whether the sun was shining down. He couldn't imagine waking up beside another person and not being able to see them right there.

"You know that you can do that anytime, alright?" He mumbled quietly, watching closely as Harry's tense expression dropped a little.

"Because - like, I always touch your face. And I love that, of course. But I figured that maybe - maybe I could look at your body too?" A pale pink flush spread up the boy's neck, eventually colouring his cheeks when he didn't receive a reply straight away. "It's just a way of being closer to you, I suppose. I mean - if you don't mind..."

"Do not mind at all," Louis couldn't help but smile softly, especially when Harry reached forward once again, his palm coming to rest on his chest.

He laid in silence as the younger boy propped himself up, hands gentle as he felt out every part of Louis' body, fingers brushing over soft skin. His face was growing red over time and once he reached his thighs, he looked extremely embarrassed.

"What's up?" Louis wondered out loud when Harry seemed to simply fix his gaze on one of his thighs, hand frozen over the bare skin.

"I didn't know you could be any more - you know. Um." Harry hesitated, blinking slowly. He raised his gaze and unknowingly met Louis' eyes. "So good looking. Like - your face. Yes. But also your body, Lou,"

"Thank you, H," Louis smiled down at the boy, who seemed to have given up on life, troubled expression on his face. He collapsed against Louis' legs, resting his head on the boy's thighs.

He shifted his leg a little, Harry only pressing his face further into his thigh with a gentle sigh.

After a few minutes of silence, the young boy reached up blindly with his hand, which Louis instantly took in his own, squeezing his fingers tightly.

The older boy couldn't help but watch his boy as he carefully rubbed his thumb over his hand, Harry breathing against the sensitive skin of his thigh. He was quite amazed at the amount of trust in their relationship.

After a few minutes, he couldn't help but laugh a little at the pair of them, eventually pulling the boy by his hand so that he collapsed on top of him, his long body sprawled over Louis' own. Harry giggled a little after his initial squeak of surprise and gently laid his head on the man's chest, tangling his hand into his shirt.

"What's up?"

Louis hesitated for a second as a grin grew over his features. "A disgusting joke could be made right now,"

Harry's peaceful yet thoughtful expression remained for few moments before he cracked, bursting out laughing and covering his mouth with his hand. "No, Lou!"

He only grinned as his hand slipped down into Harry's hair, gently pushing strands back from his face. He let his hands trail down the boy's back, fingertips tracing his spine before reaching his hips. He paused the movement of his hand where Harry's body curved, leaving his fingers trailing over the soft skin where his borrowed grey jogging bottoms have slipped down slightly.

Harry sighed in content, resting his head in the crook of Louis' neck, hair once again falling into his eyes as he stopped himself from pushing up into the man's hand.

"That okay, baby?" He asked quietly, fingertips trailing across the waistband of the trousers before once again tracing the same skin as before. "Is it alright if I do this?"

He watched the beautiful boy flush rose pink at his words, ducking his head further out of sight. He hummed softly, nodding before finally opening his mouth to speak.

However, before his voice could slip past his lips, the shrill sound of the doorbell ringing brought the two boys apart, making Louis groan in frustration.

"Wait right here, won't be a sec," He said quietly to Harry, gently ushering him off him before patting his cheek and leaving the room quickly.

The younger boy opened his eyes, allowing himself to stretch his body muscles quickly having just woken up barely an hour ago. He couldn't lie to himself - he loved Louis touching him, wherever it was. It felt like all his nerves were on edge and his skin was itching with want. He could only sigh, already missing the boy's fingers against his skin.

After a few quick seconds he decided to make use of himself and so he slowly stood up, feeling out where the sofa ended with his hands.

Ever since he started bringing Harry over to his home, Louis attempted to keep his floors as clean as possible to make getting around easier for the boy, however he couldn't help the odd shoe that he'd kicked off somewhere in the hall.

As Harry swiftly made his way around the coffee table and towards the hallway, he listened out for his boyfriend's voice.

"Um - I'm not quite sure if that's the best idea, actually," He heard Louis hesitate in the doorway as he himself stepped out of the living room. "He's sick, actually-"

"He doesn't look sick," A different voice spoke out, a voice that Harry couldn't recognise despite his hardest efforts. Only then did he realise they were speaking about him.

There was a moment of silence before footsteps, and then Harry felt an arm around his body, someone pulling him close. He couldn't lie to himself, pretend that his whole body didn't seem to freeze up at the unexpected contact. Only when he realised that the fingers pressing into his hip belonged to his boyfriend he calmed himself down, taking in a deep breath.

"Um," He said, slightly uncomfortable. Moments like this he couldn't forgive himself for being born the way he was. He wanted to scream, he wanted to bring his sight to where it should be. He wanted to do something, something that could help him and yet here he was, trapped in the pitch black.

He blamed himself. He blamed himself for not being able to see, and even though there was no valid explanation for why it would ever be his fault, he couldn't help it.

"He can't see?" The unfamiliar voice spoke out, deep and rich. Harry didn't like it. The man was acting as though he wasn't there and maybe he wasn't - maybe he wasn't really there. He couldn't see anything. Moments like this he craved light - he craved any colour, anything. He craved the ability to see the world, the ability to see humans. He was extremely jealous of anyone who got to see anyone, anyone who got to see his mother, anyone who got to see Louis. He wanted that to be him, he wanted people to understand.

He knew that everyone took looking into people's eyes for granted, some not bothering to do it. Harry also knew that he would do anything just to be able to look into another person's eyes, even just for a mere second.

"No," Louis replied softly, voice sweet like honey. Harry wanted to melt, he wanted to go with it. He wanted it to be like always, his brain accepting the sound of Louis' gentle voice and his fingers on Harry's skin and yet he couldn't - he wanted to see, wanted to be able to picture things. So badly.

It was like an inner battle with himself. He could feel Louis pulling him closer, a hint of hesitance in his movement.

"No, he can't," The older man repeated, voice still careful, ethereal. "But that's okay,"

"Of course," The man agreed confidently. He didn't sound too confident, the young boy being able to make out the wave of hesitance through his speech. "When you said he has sight problems I wasn't expecting this, though,"

This. Harry was a case, something different. Far from the usual, something no one would expect. And not in the good way. He wanted the ground to swallow him whole.

"I'm going to be honest with you, Jordan," The man by his side said quietly, the hand trailing up from his hip all the way up his neck, into his hair. "I don't exactly see how that affects you in any way,"

"Just concerned," The man defended himself weakly. Harry ducked his head. "Isn't it really hard? Like - you have to help him, and stuff, right? Louis - I'm not one to judge but you could barely look after yourself-"

"Could you please stop acting as though I'm not here?" Harry finally spoke up, voice small. The silence that followed didn't make him feel any better about it. "Sure, I was meant to stay in that room. I can't do much, but I don't like that you're acting like I'm not right in front of you,"

"Sorry, kid," The man laughed, voice rough. Louis didn't speak up, and Harry could sense that he didn't know what to say. He understood that. "Just - I'm here for Louis, yeah? Wanna talk to him,"

"Well I'm here with Harry," Louis replied eventually, his hand tugging gently on a strand of the boy's hair. "And if you wanna talk to me, you gotta talk to my boy too,"

The man let out a grunt, sighing heavily.

After kissing the top of his head, Louis pulled back from Harry and cleared his throat.

"I don't believe you've met properly," He mumbled, voice hesitant. Harry hated it. Harry hated this whole situation - he wished he'd never left that room. "Harry - this is Jordan, my - erm. My friend,"

When Harry reached out to shake his hand and felt his palm grip his own harder than necessary, he definitely knew that something was off.

"Good luck with Louis, mate," The man muttered into his ear, leaning in as closely as possible so that Louis would not hear. His voice was rough and his breath smelt of cigarettes and Harry wanted to back away but he could only breathe out, blinking slowly before the close contact moved away.

The rest of the day went back in a blur as Jordan preoccupied their kitchen to invite himself in for an early lunch. Louis was kind to him, from what Harry could gather. He clearly didn't have a reason to not be kind to the man and so he himself was as polite as he could be after what was mumbled into his ear.

All in all, the morning wasn't a tragedy for the young boy aside from slamming his elbow on a doorway - however, that wasn't anything new for him.

Later that day when Louis sweetly kissed him goodbye in front of his house and gripped his hips so hard that he could still feel the bruise hours later, Harry couldn't help but wonder about the strange man.

When his mother stepped into his bedroom that night with a mug of hot cocoa in her hand, he could only feel relief. As he hugged her tightly he breathed in her familiar scent, tucking his face into her delicate neck.

"What's up, honey?" She asked quietly, her careful fingers brushing through his locks of hair. The soft strands were now curling past his shoulders and he couldn't bring himself to care, not wanting a haircut. He liked it long. He liked having something to distract him, to twist into a little bun at the back of his head. It's not like he got to see it anyway.

"Nothing," He mumbled back, sighing softly when she gently rubbed his back comfortingly.

"How was your day with Louis?" She questioned, tone careful. The young boy smiled, pulling back and taking the cocoa from where the woman had set it on the wooden bedside table, lifting it to his lips and breathing in the rich chocolate smell.

"It was fine," He replied. He jumped a little in surprise when he felt the mattress dipping down beside him, a light weight jumping onto the bed and stepping over him carefully. He gently reached out to brush his hand over the cat's soft fur, sighing a little once again. "Um - he's lovely,"

"That he is," The woman chuckled. "You know, H, that day he first came for you I didn't think much of him. Of course, he seemed like a right gentleman but now I can actually see how good he is to you,"

Harry felt himself flushing a little at the woman's words as he ducked his head.

"He treats you how I always wanted you to be treated," She said quietly. "That makes me sound selfish but - you deserve so much, sweetheart. And I'm glad you have Louis and Louis has you,"

"Mum," Harry groaned a little, dragging out the vowel as he felt his face grow an even brighter shade. He pulled her into another quick hug, laughing a little. "Don't make me cry, now,"

"Would not," He felt her shake her head a little. "I'm happy for you, honey,"

"Thank you, mum," He mumbled, closing his eyes. He let his mind roam free as the woman said goodnight, shutting the door quietly behind her.

At that moment he knew for sure he had something really important to tell Louis.


	24. 23

"Careful, babe. Just go straight forward, slow now,"

The December air was thick with early morning fog and the cool breeze made the beginning of the day even colder. It was quiet everywhere aside from the occasional chirping of a seagull, the place so much different from busy London.

Louis' family home was located on the outskirts of Doncaster, a large semi-detached home on a quiet road that he grew up on.

He was currently pulling their bags out of the car, his keys in his mouth and Harry standing beside him, stepping from one foot to the other as he gripped onto his white cane with one hand and onto a bag with the other. Louis was having a hard time not staring at the boy who was looking exceptionally good today, hair tied away from his face and his body clad in a warm furry coat and jeans tighter than ever. He had a new pair of black heeled boots on and - God, did he look good.

When Harry actually went forward and avoided tripping over the curb, the man saw him smile to himself but stand still nevertheless.

"You got your cane, darling?" Louis asked just to be sure, finally shutting the boot and pulling his keys out from between his lips. He pocketed them before glancing up at his boy who was nodding a little. He wondered how he learnt how to nod.

"Yes," He added, just for good measure, voice tired and thick with sleep. On the way to Doncaster he had slept for most of the journey, head against the window and earphones tucked into his ears.

"You go ahead, if you want," Louis supplied, reaching down to swing a bag over his shoulder. "You've got the gate behind you, babe. You just push it open and go straight up the path,"

He watched as the boy hesitated briefly before turning slowly, his fingers trailing over the black gate before pushing it open.

Louis quickly gathered their things from inside the car before locking it and following where Harry had gone up the pathway leading to the house.

The house was built of red brick, an old Victorian design. There was a large space in the front garden where there was a swing set and some of Johannah's flowers planted into the ground, no longer full off life due to winter being in full swing.

Louis had to bite his lips to push back his grin when he saw Harry standing right in front of the door, his arms swinging by his sides and a look of confusion on his face. Just as he was about to presumably call out Louis' name, the man stepped closer and slipped his hand under the boy's coat, fingers trailing over where his t-shirt was showing under the thick jumper he wore.

"I didn't know what to do," Harry muttered, eyes wide when Louis looked at his face. His skin looked fresh and soft, cheeks flushed from the cold. His eyes looked sleepy and Louis wanted to keep him inside his pocket forever.

"You typically ring the doorbell," Louis supplied, to which the younger boy laughed softly. He stopped laughing when he heard the sound of the doorbell echoing throughout the house when Louis pressed it, his body tensing up a little. "Don't worry, darling. They'll love you, because I love you. Yes?"

"Yes," Harry muttered, unconvinced. Louis could feel him relaxing in the slightest and jumping a little in surprise when the door was pulled open.

Louis grinned at his mother who stood in the doorway, long brown hair falling down past her shoulders, face neatly made up and eyes bright. She was just as beautiful as Louis always remembered her to be.

"Louis!" She exclaimed, wide smile growing in her features. Her eyes softened when she glanced at Harry beside him, and she smiled a knowing smile. She reached out, gentle fingers on the boy's hand at which his head moved upwards, eyes shut.

Louis swallowed thickly. He knew the boy didn't feel comfortable having his eyes open around strangers and he could only hope he would overstep this and allow Louis' family in.

The boy smiled hesitantly, nodding ever so slightly.

"You must be Harry," She added after a second. "It's so great to finally meet you, love. Come in, come in. Gosh, isn't it cold out?"

Louis nodded to her, pulling her into a tight hug once they've piled inside the house. He always missed his mother, seeing her only a few times a year with how busy she is with the children and how he's all the way down in London.

Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced at Harry who stood by the staircase, a small smile on his lips. He placed the bag down, tucking the cane into its' side pocket and pulling off his gloves, facing downwards.

"Mum," He spoke out, making the younger boy glance up briefly. "I don't believe I've introduced you properly. This is Harry, my boyfriend. Harry, this is my mum, Johannah,"

The boy was cut off from speaking when the woman embraced him tight, him blinking in surprise as he hesitantly hugged her back.

Louis watched his mother mutter something to the boy at which he flushed a little, eyelashes fluttering. He mumbled something back and she laughed softly, finally turning back to Louis.

"You weren't lying when you said he's gorgeous," She pointed out, at which Louis grinned proudly and Harry blushed further. "Listen, loves. Dan's at work, kids are at school. I say you've got maximum of two hours before they get home - you should probably unpack, hm?"

As they headed up the staircase with Louis' hand resting on Harry's lower back and leading him forward he couldn't help but huff out a small laugh. His mother liked his boyfriend. He had a boyfriend who knew his mother.

This was some wild stuff happening to his life right there.

"Allow me to point out," Louis said once they'd reached the first floor, making the boy turn towards him to show his attention. "All hell will break loose in two hours. Prepare yourself mentally, please,"

"Why do you say that?" Harry giggled a little, leaning into his side. He finally opened his eyes now that they were alone, blurry green blinking up at Louis as the boy pouted at him, asking to be kissed.

Who was Louis to deny such request.

He gently took Harry's waist in his hands, ushering the boy against the shut door to his old bedroom. He leaned in to inhale the boy's sweet, familiar scent as he nuzzled his nose into the crook of his neck. He trailed his lips up his jaw, finally kissing his mouth and tilting his head ever so slightly to the right, one of his hands taking hold of Harry's cheek, thumb brushing over the peach soft skin.

Once he'd pulled away a few minutes later, Harry's lips were bitten raw red and his eyes were shining, his breathing slightly faster than usual.

"I say such thing because it's the truth," Louis chuckled, finally opening the door to his room and inspecting it briefly. Of course, his mum had cleaned it but everything was as usual, the bed against the wall and the television screen collecting dust in the corner. He ushered Harry inside of the room and finally dropped the bag beside the bed, sighing out in relief. "You won't believe it until you hear it. I'd like to remind you that four young girls inhabit this home - it's crazy, babe."

"What - are they like loud, or what? I'm sure they're sweet?"

Louis chuckled softly, shaking his head and pulling the boy down with him into the small bed. It was only a single mattress, much less big than what the pair was used to by now.

Harry laughed as they collapsed onto the bed, his body draping over Louis' gracefully. He gripped onto the man's shoulders, tucking his face into his neck before nuzzling his nose against where Louis' stubble was growing, hair rough against Harry's lips as he trailed kisses up over his jaw.

"Love you, sweetheart," Louis reminded him, tightening his arms around where he was holding the boy close. He felt Harry pause a little, before pushing himself up so that his face was right in front of Louis'. His blurry eyes seemed to focus on the man's own when he bit into his lip and held on tighter to his shoulders.

"You do," Harry echoed in a quiet whisper. He blinked a little, swallowing thickly before he trailed his fingers over Louis' shoulder gently, soothing where he held on tight. "You love me,"

"I do," Louis smiled unsurely at the boy, watching him as a small smile pulled at the corners of his full lips.

"And - and I," He stumbled over his words, eyes fluttering shut, eyelashes casting a small shadow over his cheekbones from the morning light entering the room. "I do too."

Louis swallowed. He knew that it wasn't something Harry threw around. This was big. It was big for both of them and he wanted to kiss the boy until they were both breathless right there and right now.

"Love you," Harry tested the words. He smiled softly at himself, ducking his head to hide the smile overtaking his features. "I love you,"

Louis' heart fluttered, overwhelmed with the affection. He knew that Harry's feelings towards him were always real but now that the boy actually said the three words - he felt full of love, his heart warm.

"I love you," Harry repeated, this time opening his eyes fully and seemingly looking behind Louis' head. The older man was positive he had never grinned that much in his entire lifetime. "Lou - I wanted to wait, to make it special. It's nothing special coming from me - but I thought - maybe-"

The man cut off his rambling with a kiss to his lips, pushing his head down with a hand tangled in his hair. Only when he rolled them over and Harry was beneath him, blinking up at him with small pants slipping past his lips he felt like fond feelings have completely overtaken his body, his heart beating for one reason only.

And that reason was Harry.

"You are so beautiful," Louis breathed out against his skin. "Will always tell you this, want you to always know. You're gorgeous, my darling,"

"Lou," Harry whispered, the name rolling off his tongue easily. He arched up slightly into Louis, wanting to be as close to the boy as possible.

They kissed lazily for another few minutes, before Louis finally pulled back. He reached up to push his fringe out of his eyes, pushing it back and off his face. Harry looked spent, face flushed and legs shaking where they were spread wide to give Louis space to lie down and kiss him.

The man pressed his lips to the skin just in front of Harry's ear, his smile evident in every move. "God, wasn't expecting to spend the morning like this. Thank you for telling me - really, darling. Don't you say it's not special - you make me feel special every single day simply by being,"

He couldn't say he wasn't proud of his choice of words when he watched the boy breathe out in relief, body completely relaxing.

-

Once Harry had attempted to fold each item of clothing they owned neatly into a drawer, with Louis' help of simply shoving the clothes to put them away, they were done with a few minutes to spare.

Louis shoved the two bags under his bed, watching out of the corner of his eye as Harry trailed his fingers over every surface in the room, carefully feeling out where the door was and where the desk started.

"What colour is it?" Harry questioned, his hand resting against the wall. Louis huffed a little, glancing around them.

"Like a blue," He supplied. "Or something."

"Like your eyes!" Harry exclaimed happily, a grin growing over his features. Louis knew he felt proud of himself for knowing little things like that; and it made Louis feel proud right back.

He hummed in agreement as he tugged on his tight trousers, grunting a little when they came off with difficulty. He threw them across a room and just as he flipped through the drawer in search of his beloved sweatpants, he felt a hesitant hand on his lower back.

"Hi," He mumbled, hand brushing over the speckled material. He pulled out the pants and grinned, leaning down to give Harry a quick kiss on his lips. "Don't you wanna get changed?"

"Why?" The boy pouted. "Does it not look good? Shit, Lou - you should have said-"

"You look great, babe. Just a bit uncomfortable, aren't you?"

Harry shifted a little where he was standing, eventually shaking his head. He was fine. He was so used to being in those tight jeans that he probably never even spared it a second thought.

Before he could say another word, a loud shriek echoed throughout the house, making Harry jump in surprise. Louis only sighed, rolling his eyes. He knew what was coming.

"They're home," was all he could say before he pulled the trousers on, the sound of loud footsteps trodding up the stairs was heard and then the door was swinging open, two identical young girls standing in the doorway.

"Louis!" one shouted, before they both launched themselves at him, side eyeing Harry standing to the side, a confused yet polite expression on his face.

"Hiya, you devils," Louis said quietly, holding both of the girls close in a hug.

"Who's he?" The smaller of the two asked, both of them turning to look at the young boy. Louis smiled proudly.

"It's someone very special to me who I want you to meet," He said carefully, holding onto the two girls tightly to prevent them from jumping at the boy. "His name is Harry,"

"Hi, Harry!" Phoebe exclaimed loudly, making said boy shyly smile at them.

"Hey - listen," Louis tried to get a word in, but he was quickly pushed back by his sister.

"Is he your boyfriend?" She giggled loudly. "Ew!"

Louis bit back a laugh. "Yes, don't attack him. Listen - you can see Harry but he can't see you, that okay?"

"Awesome," One of the two exclaimed before finally pulling out of his grasp and going towards Harry, wrapping her arms around his hips.

The smaller girl remained on Louis' lap, watching in silence before turning to Louis. "Why can't Harry see me?"

"Harry's very special, you see? His eyes are different from ours so he can't see with them,"

"I thought eyes were meant for seeing," The girl mumbled, clinging onto her brother tightly.

"Yes," Louis agreed. "Harry sees, but not with his eyes. And that's okay, I love him very much,"

He glanced up Harry who was clearly listening, a shy smile still on his lips. He had Phoebe on his own lap and his eyes were wide open, shiny and bright bright green.

"How can Harry see me?" The girl questioned further, at which he picked her up, making her squeal and he walked over to where Harry was now sitting cross legged on the floor with the other twin.

"Babe, tell them how you see," He asked quietly, touching Harry's arm to reassure him.

"Um," Harry cleared his throat, blinking slowly. "By touch? Like - I touch to picture what things look like..."

"Do you want to touch my face?" Phoebe asked, grinning. "Here - you can do it,"

Harry smiled gratefully as Louis lifted his hands to where the small girl's face was. He watched the boy carefully trail his fingers over her soft skin, dip into her hair.

"Don't have to do Daisy now, they look the same," Louis joked, making the three giggle at him.

When Harry seemed to look up over the girl's head in Louis' direction, he focused his eyes on Louis' chest and smiled, the man smiling back instantly.

He felt home.

-

After Harry had been formally introduced to each and every one of the family members living in the house and after the massive dinner they all shared together and after he politely offered to help with the dishes, he was stood leaning against the kitchen Island with a cloth in his hand and a plate in the other.

He turned to Louis' mother for another to dry, but instead she simply took the cloth from his hands, making him let out a little noise of confusion.

"Harry - can I talk to you? Just you?" She asked, voice soft. She made Harry miss his own mother, even if it was less than twenty four hours since he'd last seen her.

"Of course," He agreed, letting the woman lead him to where he assumed the dining table was, allowing her to help him to sit down. He placed his arms on the table in front of him, stretching out his limbs and sighing a little, his body finally feeling the effects of the tiresome day.

"Does your back hurt, honey?" She asked in concern, making Harry smile slightly. He certainly knew where Louis had gotten his caring qualities from. "Surely - it's been a long drive for you two. I've got some gel in the cupboard if it really does hurt-"

Harry didn't want to cut the woman off simply because he didn't know how to do it politely, so he allowed her to trail off before he spoke. "It's quite alright - I can sleep it off,"

"Oh," He could hear her pulling out the chair opposite him, sitting down. She hummed a little, before continuing. "If it gets worse, just let me or Louis know. Now - speaking of Louis. Is he good to you?"

Harry felt his face grow warm at the woman's words, his chest fluttering at the mention of the man's name. "The absolute best,"

He could hear the smile in her voice when she spoke again. "I am quite fond of my little boy," She sighed softly. "Not so little, huh? I can't believe how fast he's grown up - he was such a sweetheart when he was a young boy, I can only hope he hasn't changed,"

"No changes that I would be aware of," Harry assured her in a gentle voice. He could still feel the flush on his face but he ignored it. "He's so great - he makes me feel great. Thank you - you raised him. You made him the amazing person he is today,"

"Goodness, thank you," She said, voice quiet. "Could you tell me? I want to hear about him - I see him so rarely, and it would be great to hear about him from you especially,"

Harry considered it for a few seconds before nodding slowly. "Right - um. I admire him. The person he is - I admire it. He's so full of life, you know? I don't see it, but I know it," He mumbled, facing down. He blinked a few times, stretching his arms in front of himself once again. "I love him,"

"Oh, honey," Her voice was soft and sweet and caring, and Harry felt safe. "That's beautiful, really. I'm glad he has you to keep him grounded,"

"And I'm glad to have him," He said. He could feel himself growing more and more confident with the woman, making himself feel proud. He had began to get closer to other people and it was such a massive step for him. "He-"

Before the words could leave the young boy's mouth, a loud thud echoed across the kitchen and the attacker collided with him, strong arms wrapping around him from behind. He felt a shudder run down his spine at the unexpected closeness but quickly enough he identified the unknown force to be Louis himself.

"What's the gossip, then?" He piped up, pressing his face into Harry's neck and kissing the skin softly. Just as quickly, he pulled away, arms remaining around the boy.

Harry raised his head upwards, finally blinking his eyes open. He was met with the familiar sight of nothing but this time he couldn't bring himself to complain about any aspect of it.

He had Louis wrapped around him close, he was experiencing Louis' life right now. His family accepted him and seemed to like him a whole lot - and while it was a lot to take in at once, Harry couldn't say that he didn't love it.

Not as much as he loved Louis, of course. Which needed to be reminded.

As though the man was reading his mind, he reached one of his hands up to Harry's face and gently traced his finger up his cheek, up to one of his eyes and over the soft eyelid. In the distance he could hear Johannah laughing to herself, standing up. "Love you, darling,"

"I do too," Harry breathed out softly, his face following Louis' hand when he had pulled it back. He felt a genuine smile growing across his features as he blinked slowly into the darkness, finally truly hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel. He felt himself grow full of belief in himself - he was here, he was alive. He could make things work. And he loved Louis. "So much,"


	25. 24

The dull ache inside Harry's head wouldn't give up. He could hear the quiet hum of the wind and the thud of raindrops against the window from outside, but aside from that the house was completely silent.

If he focused hard enough, he could make out the ticking of the clock in Louis' room, as well as the clock in the hall.

He shifted a little where he was lying pressed between the cold wallpapered wall and the warmth of his lover's body, a warm duvet draped over them. He had a soft pillow under his head, his hair pushed back atop his head in a tight knot to move it away from his face. But it was still there - the pounding ache at the back of his head, the itch behind his eyelids.

Thinking of Louis, he could very clearly hear the man's steady breathing right beside him, so close that he could feel him breathing out against the back of his neck. Just from the sound of his breathing, Harry could tell he had his lips parted, mouth wet and body resting in his sleep. Every so often a soft snore slipped past his lips, his arm tightening where he circled it around Harry's waist.

After a few endless minutes of clenching his jaw through the growing pain in the back of his head, Harry had eventually had enough. He was comfortable, sure, wanted to stay right where he was between his boyfriend and this wall, but he couldn't.

As Harry sleepily opened his eyes, blinking quickly to reduce the slight itch he couldn't help the shudder that ran through his whole body. He kept his eyes open either way, gently shifting so that he could turn in Louis' arms. He patted out where the man was as delicately as he could, lifting his arm and pushing himself off the mattress slowly.

"What-" The familiar mutter of Louis' voice sounded in his ear, the noise sleepy and tired together with soft rustling of the sheets between them, and Harry only silenced him with two gentle fingers trailing over his cheek.

"Go to sleep, I'm fine," He whispered into the darkness and like flipping a switch, Louis was back fast asleep.

He crawled over Louis' body with practiced gracefulness, feeling out his way towards the door and trailing his hand across the wood until his fingers brushed over the metal door handle.

The ache in his head had only just started to clear up as he sat at the dining table, sipping water from one of the bottles he had taken from the fridge. He would take a pill - but it's not like he knew where the pills were, and he wasn't sure whether his mother remembered to give him his own to pack.

He let his eyes slip shut as he sighed in content, his head resting against the kitchen wall, hand tightening around the water small bottle.

He let his mind drift empty, his body only jumping slightly in surprise when he heard the soft thuds of footsteps down the stairs in the hall, right before someone slipping into the kitchen.

He had purposely left the light on to not give anyone a scare in the middle of night - clearly to a good use.

"Harry?" A thick Northern accent asked, voice soft and high and much like Louis'. He tried to recognise the person, his mind drifting over his many sisters. "What are you doing here? It's two in the morning, you know,"

"Just - water," He replied uselessly, at which the female voice hummed slightly. He could hear the girl walking around the kitchen, filling up a glass from the tap. Taking a seat opposite him at the table. Silence.

"You sure you're fine?" She asked again after a few minutes, hesitant on whether to press it. "Look like someone smacked ya around the head,"

Harry laughed softly into his palm. "Um - yeah, I'm alright. I just had a little headache,"

"You want a paracetamol or something?" She asked again, her voice hushed to a mumble. Harry still attempted to make the link between her voice and a character. "I could fetch you one, if it's bad,"

"Please - that'd be nice..." He trailed off, tilting his head a little towards her. He could hear her nervous exhale of breath.

"It's Charlotte," She supplied in a quiet voice, making him nod quickly. "Sorry - I should have said. Let me get that for ya,"

He nodded a little, waiting a few short moments before a pill was being pressed into his palm, the young girl pushing his water bottle towards him. He could hear her lingering in the doorway as he took the pill, letting out a small huff as his body was reminded of the ache.

"I hope you feel better soon," She told him quietly, at which he nodded gratefully. He was amazed at how great this entire family was, and how quickly they all accepted him. How quickly he took a liking to all of them.

As he listened to the girl climbing back up the carpeted staircase, he let himself imagine how they looked.

He had no idea how a human could look - only from what his fingers allowed him to picture. What he knew was that people were certainly beautiful to him, something unreal.

He let his mind drift over the Tomlinsons. He certainly had a good image of Louis, of his sharp face features and the gentle curve of his nose. He knew his hair was just past his ears. He knew that his hips curved wonderfully and that his arms were strong and his palms were soft and fit perfectly in his own - but what is it all, really?

He could picture his sisters all similar to him - with soft strands of hair that others would describe as dark blonde, with the same soft skin and the same breathtaking smiles. Harry was completely entranced with this family.

As he headed back up the staircase as quietly as he possibly could, he heard the soft cries of one of the youngest babies in one of the first floor rooms, the cry broken by Johannah's soft voice. He rushed up the staircase to go back into Louis' room as quickly as possible, yet he was stopped by the woman halfway there.

"Harry? Honey, what are you doing up so late?" She asked, her voice hushed. He could hear the soft breathing of one of the babies right in her arms, and he licked over his lips nervously. Did this family not sleep at all? He figured he was being slightly hypocritical, what with having stumbled upon only two - three, counting the baby - of the members of the family at two in the morning when he himself was awake.

"Just went to get some water," He replied softly, making sure his eyes were kept shut. He felt like he was suffocating in his own clothes, despite his sleep shirt being far too large on him. "Is that-"

"That's the boy," Johannah replied, voice gentle as she reached out to take Harry's hand in her spare one. She brought it up to the baby's face, allowing the boy to brush his fingertips over the soft skin of his cheeks. "His name is Ernie - sorry, it's two. You should get back to Louis, get some sleep,"

"It's fine," Harry breathed out, reluctantly pulling his hand away. "Can I see them in the morning?"

"Babies your thing?" She laughed softly, but nodded nevertheless when the boy flushed a little, raising and dropping his shoulders in a shrug. "Of course, love. Now - get some rest, you're helping me cook tomorrow,"

"Of course," Harry felt his smile grow. He loved being treated normally, and was eternally thankful to the woman. "Goodnight, Jay. And - and you too, Ernie,"

When the woman had disappeared back into the room, presumably to put the little boy back to sleep after his early morning awakening, Harry himself slipped back into Louis' room, shutting the door after him quietly and crawling over the boy to settle back into his spot between him and the wall.

As soon as he lied down, strong arms pulled him close to Louis' body, the boy pressing himself to him along his back, holding him closely. Harry was amazed that he did this all through his sleep.

As he took one of Louis' hands in his own and let his eyelashes flutter shut one last time, he exhaled heavily.

-

The following day when Louis had woken up, he was slightly surprised to see that he was on his own in his bed, face down into a pillow. He shifted a little, glancing briefly around the room through half-open eyes, chewing on his lip in thought as he took in the sight of the room completely empty of any human life aside from himself.

When he slipped out of bed and out to the landing, he couldn't help but breathe out a sigh of relief when he heard Harry's soft voice from the kitchen downstairs, and so he quickly pulled a hoodie on, making his way down the carpeted staircase.

Upon stepping into the kitchen, he was even more surprised. The young boy was currently stirring theough something that looked a lot like a chocolate brownie mixture, making Louis' mouth water. The other thing that certainly made it water was Harry himself, who looked heavenly and who giggled wildly as he bobbed along to a pop song playing on the radio. Johannah, who was sat comfortably in the corner of the room at the dining table, halfway through a story aimed at the young boy and a set of twins in their seats beside her, was the first to notice Louis, giving him a nod of acknowledgement.

He swiftly made his way across the room to sneak up behind the boy, raising an eyebrow at the pale apron tied around his waist. He sneaked an arm around his hips, resting a hand on his tummy through the soft cotton shirt, pressing a kiss into the crook or his neck from behind.

"Morning," Harry chirped, leaning back into the touch with a hum, turning his head to the left with his lips pouted, seeking a kiss. When his wish was granted, he grinned to himself before patting Louis away. "Don't distract, Jay and I are making cake,"

"Not brownies?" Louis frowned, but nevertheless pulled away from the boy with a gentle pat to his bum before moving over to the dinner table, sitting down opposite his mother. "Slept okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Ernie woke up once, that's all," She hummed, eyes shining bright as she glanced up at Louis with a smile. "Can't say the same for your Harry, though,"

Louis frowned in confusion, turning to glance over at the boy who was stood by the oven, pouring the cake mixture into a baking tray.

"What makes you say that?"

"Found him in the landing at two in the morning," She replied, laughing a little at Louis' alarmed expression. "Don't worry, he was just grabbing some water. Right, Harry, hun?"

"Yep," The boy piped up, picking up the tray with oven gloves on, look of determination on his face. Just as he finished sliding the cake into the oven, he turned towards where he knew the table was, his hands both on the counter island. "No big deal,"

At his words, two young girls slipped into the room at speed Louis would have never expected, both launching themselves at the boy standing. He didn't have any time to yell out a warning at Harry, who quickly whipped around at the sound, making the younger of the two miss.

The man could only watch in horror as one of the young girls grabbed onto Harry's leg, the boy so surprised that he didn't have time to register what was happening. Louis could only squeeze his eyes shut at the loud sound of Daisy running into the counter where Harry was stood a second ago, her head slamming off the wood louder than he had expected.

In a flash of a few seconds when he scrambled to his feet, he could see the confusion and concern on the young boy's face, Johannah rushing to help Daisy off the floor, the young girl holding onto her head.

"What happened? Louis - Lou, what was that? What happened?" Harry asked desperately when he felt the man's reassuring hand on his shoulder, he himself shifting so he could hold onto Phoebe tighter. "Please - what happened?"

"Just Dais," Louis breathed out, watching as Johannah pulled the young girl up, Harry cringing at her loud sobs. "Think she smacked her head off the counter,"

"Was - was that my fault? Oh God-" Louis could see the boy growing more pale with each word, at which he instantly rushed to grab his free hand, the other holding onto Phoebe who struggled to look over the counter at what her sister had done to herself.

"No, darling." Louis instantly said, making the boy open his eyes and seemingly glance at him, before looking back down with a duck of his head. "Harry - it wasn't your fault, she's a kid. It's bound to happen. She'll be fine,"

The words seemed to slightly reassure Harry, who nodded a little. Louis wasn't so sure of himself when he looked up at the sight of his mother holding up a bloodied tissue to the girl's head, desperate eyes staring back at him.


	26. 25

It had been a long, long day that had dragged for everybody, and now the sun was settling into the horizon, sky slowly fading into darkness.

Not that Harry would know; the boy thought to himself as stayed silent, deep in thought. He was sitting on the soft mattress that was lying atop the metal frame of Louis' bed, his legs crossed and his elbow propped on the windowsill, his chin resting on his palm. He had his eyes open, knowing that if he could, he'd be watching the real darkness around him rather than the one forever in his eyes.

The whole house was quiet, with Johannah bustling around the kitchen and the youngest of the children already sleeping. He could hear the faint sound of the television playing downstairs where the older of the girls were but he couldn't bring himself to face anybody.

It was all his fault.

He sighed softly, letting his eyes shut and his head drop down for his forehead to meet the cold windowsill.

It seemed like hours later when he heard the sound of a car pulling up the driveway, his eyes quickly opening once again. He sat up, straightened out his clothes - waited.

After a hushed conversation took place downstairs, he heard the quiet footsteps that he was familiar with - the thought scared him, knowing that he could recognise his Louis by something as simple as how he walked up the stairs; he missed every two steps, hand tight on the banister. Harry didn't need to see to know.

"Harry, darling?" Louis asked in a hushed tone when he entered the room, another person trailing after him. "We're home,"

"Hi," Harry croaked out, surprising himself at how hoarse his voice was. No one spoke until the mattress dipped beside him, Louis sitting down and a young girl jumping up onto the bed beside them.

"Dais is fine," He assured him, a stone lifted from Harry's heart. The guilt still crushed him, but at least all was fine in the present tense. "Aren't ya?"

"Very fine," Harry could hear her move around beside him, clinging a little onto his sleeve. He ducked his head. "They stitched me forehead up, and it looks all funny. I'm gonna get all the girls at school asking me about it now," She spoke with a quiet giggle.

When Harry didn't speak, he felt a strong hand being placed on his lower back, an arm pulling him close and steadying him against Louis' side. Only then did he let the breathy gasp escape him, turning his face away from the man when he felt a wet tear sliding down his cheek.

He could briefly hear Louis ushering the young girl out of the room before he pulled him closer, up on the mattress of the bed. They sat in silence as hot, heavy tears rolled down Harry's face, his throat tight but everything quiet.

"Harry," The man eventually spoke, voice soft but stern. Harry could feel how close he was, faces mere inches away. He subconsciously tilted his own head downwards to face his lap, breathing in shakily and reaching up with one hand to run the sleeve over his face, soaking up the wetness.

"I'm so sorry," Harry whispered, voice wrecked from how tight his throat felt. He tried to swallow past it but he couldn't, felt like he would choke. "It was my fault,"

"I've told you times over," Louis mumbled back, the young boy opposite him feeling his hand being lifted, the older threading their fingers together in a tight grip. "She's a kid, it happens. She's not hurt - she told you herself..."

His voice trailed off into silence as he tilted Harry's face up gently, taking it into his spare hand and wiping at his wet cheeks with his fingers. It didn't help, Harry only squeezing his eyes shut when more tears pinched at the corners.

"If I didn't move she'd be okay," Harry shakily replied, his hands beginning to tremble. "But I can't see, I can't see and I didn't see and this will happen - this will happen, I will hurt people-"

His quiet voice was cut off when Louis leaned forward, kissing the corner of his mouth softly. The man trailed his fingers over the soft skin on his face, eventually dipping his fingers into his hair.

"Why are you shaking?" He asked carefully, the boy feeling him scoot closer and wrap himself around him.

Harry hesitated for a brief moment before blinking slowly. "I'm scared,"

It was a long, long moment of silence when Louis didn't know what to say and Harry pushed his tears back as he rested his head on the man's shoulder. The slight trembling of his body subsided as he clung onto Louis with all his worth, strong arms holding him right back.

"I'm still really sorry," Harry sniffed out eventually, blinking his eyes open to stare into the dark. "Is she really okay?"

"Never better," Louis replied quickly, pressing a gentle kiss to Harry's forehead. "Never better."

-

When Louis woke up the next morning, he had an ache in his lower back and a heavy weight on top of him, soft lips trailing over his shoulder. He shivered under the careful touch, blinking his eyes open to be met with the sight of his boy pressed ever so close to him, his lips latched onto his skin.

"Good morning," Louis breathed out, chuckling when the young boy froze and tilted his head upwards with a light flush spreading over his cheeks. "What are you up to, huh?"

"Happy birthday," Harry giggled softly, crawling up slightly to press a messy kiss to Louis' mouth.

Not wanting to part, said man grabbed onto Harry's waist, the boy squeaking in surprise against his lips. Louis carefully kissed him, licking into his mouth and letting Harry do the same. He tilted his head to the side slightly, allowing the younger boy easier access so that their noses didn't press together uncomfortably, their lips slotting against each other perfectly.

When Harry pulled back to take a deep breath in, his eyes were dark and his lips were wet, face flushed pink. He instantly ducked back down, kissing him with more force as he pulled his body up, sitting himself on Louis' lap comfortably and draping his upper body over his chest.

With how the boy had seated himself, Louis could feel him closer than before. He trailed his fingertips over his hips, making the young boy gasp when he lifted the waistband of the sweatpants he slept in.

With their lips still attached, perhaps no longer in a kiss but only with Harry panting into his mouth and Louis nibbling on his bottom lip, the older man gently pushed the item of clothing down the curve of Harry's bum, his hands instantly going to grab at the soft skin.

Harry made an approving noise into his mouth, his hips shifting slightly against Louis' when the man pressed down on his skin with more force.

"Thank you, baby," Louis breathed out, blinking in the sight of his boy. "What a way to be woken up,"

"Good?" Harry mumbled, lifting himself and circling his hips a little, making Louis groan. "Huh?"

"Yes," The man gritted out through his teeth, pushing up into Harry. He let one hand linger where it was, the other moving around his waist. His fingers brushed over the small dusting of hair on Harry's lower tummy, the boy trembling slightly above him. "Can I?"

"Yes - yes, go ahead," Harry breathed out, pushing down on Louis once again before squeaking out a noise of surprise when he felt unhesitant fingers circle around his length, quickly pulling him in a quick tug.

It was quick and messy, perfectly fine for the two of them. With Harry falling apart on top of him and his legs trembling where they lay wide open on either side of Louis, he felt better than ever. Harry was making soft noises into his mouth, eyelashes fluttering over his soft skin and his hips stuttering against his own.

The boy looked so beautiful that Louis thought that's what did it for him.

When they laid in silence afterwards with Harry once again uselessly draped over him, wet lips sucking a bruise into his neck, Louis let his hand shakily trail over the delicate skin of his back.

"Love you, Lou," Harry mumbled to break the silence, sighing in content when he pulled his mouth away from the man's neck, instead laying his head on his chest. "Lots and lots,"

"I love you lots and lots too, darling," Louis muttered back into the silence of the room.

As though something had kicked him, Harry suddenly sprung up when he remembered something. Louis could only watch with half lidded eyes as the boy dug around in one of the drawers, finally pulling out a small green parcel.

He urged Louis to sit up, him sitting opposite him on the mattress with his legs crossed. He presented the gift with a beautiful flush to his cheeks and a small giggle.

"Don't mind the wrapping if it's bad..." He trailed off, gently running his fingers over the pale green tissue paper. Louis watched in amazement. "Wrapped it myself,"

"Harry-" Louis choked out, his throat tight as he watched the boy raise the small parcel with a shy grin.

"Even has a little bow on it,"

The man's lips parted absentmindedly as the present was pressed into his hands. It was wrapped so neatly and carefully that he almost didn't want to open it. Almost. Sue him, he was twenty three years old and still got more than excited for any gift he would receive.

"God, thank you," He said quietly, gently tugging on the ribbon to take it off without ruining it. When he glanced up at the young boy he was staring at the space behind him, smile on his face.

"I hope you like it, I was so torn on what to get you,"

"Didn't have to get me anything," Louis clarified - which, okay it was honest. Of course Harry didn't. But did Louis want him to? Sure thing. Who was he to deny a gift. "I didn't get you anything for your birthday,"

Harry giggled, his gaze moving downwards as he reached forward to slap Louis on the shoulder playfully. When he missed on first try, the man moved his arm towards him so that he would not miss the second time. "You didn't know me on my last birthday, you idiot!"

"So," Louis shrugged, his grin growing as he peeled away the green tissue paper. It was sure an usual colour for a present.

"It's green," Harry stated, and Louis made a small sound. The younger boy let out another small laugh, reaching upwards to cover his mouth with his hand. "When we first went out to dinner you said green is your favourite colour, so..."

Louis blinked at him. He had no idea how Harry remembered these details.

When he finally got rid of all the tissue paper, he froze. Beneath his fingers was a black box, from which he recognised a brand of watches he'd mentioned before. He'd also been meaning to get himself a watch, and from what he could see it would most likely be a nice, practical one.

It's not the watch that took his breath away, however. Underneath, squeezed into the parcel were an envelope and a disc.

"You - thank you," He breathed out, quickly pulling out the envelope and using his fingers to rip at it. The card was square, plastered in pink glitter and very Harry.

When he'd opened it, he was more than surprised. Written in messy italics, there was a message inside.

"To Louis," The man read out loud, his glaze flicking between the card and Harry who sat in silence opposite him. "Happy birthday! I hope your day is filled with only the best. You deserve the world, and sadly I can't give you that so instead I got you this. I hope you like it. I'll appreciate any constructive criticism. Love you forever. Yours, Harry,"

By the end of the message Louis' hands were shaking a little, his voice matching. The boy opposite him was flushed bright red, the shy smile still present on his face.

"Harry - baby, you wrote this?"

"Yeah," He mumbled, grinning a little. "Been trying for a while. My tutor always makes me practice for like an hour, very useful,"

Louis had to bite into his bottom lip to stop himself from shouting out to the world how in love he was.

"There's - I also did like a music playlist thing of some songs that I like? They remind me of you, sort of. So - I didn't have many ideas, so I thought why not..."

He couldn't say any more before the man was crawling on top of him, crashing their lips together in a kiss. Harry only had the strength to topple over onto the mattress, laughing sweetly into Louis' ear with a whispered promise of love.


	27. 26

"Tell me I understood correctly - Harry gave you a mixtape for your birthday?"

Louis barked out a laugh into the phone, his hand instantly shooting up to cover his mouth. It was always a pleasure speaking to Zayn.

"It's a playlist, and I value it," He rolled his eyes, shifting a little on the sofa. The living room looked beautiful late at night, with only darkness surrounding him aside from the soft yellow glow coming from the Christmas tree and the lights hung around the room.

The house was now pretty much silent with it being past eleven in the evening, the kids having gone to bed with excitement for the following morning. However, Louis could hear his mother and Harry in the kitchen chatting in hushed voices and making last minute preparations, packing food into boxes for their journey back down to London in a few short hours.

"How is he, anyway?" Zayn asked, voice growing softer. He had gone to his own family home for the whole holiday season, dragging Liam along with him. "Is - sorry for asking but like...is he alright? With being away from home?"

"He's not a kid, Zayn," Louis sighed, relaxing further into the sofa. He didn't notice at first, only then noticing the shadow lurking by the door, the young boy leaning against the doorframe in the glow of the soft lights. "He's great, and he's very happy. And I'm happy that he's happy,"

"Yeah, of course," Zayn quickly agreed in a quiet voice, and Louis could almost see his small nod in his head.

He moved over on the sofa when Harry shuffled into the room, dressed warm in a pair of leggings and a woollen jumper, two mugs of some sort of hot beverage in his hands. He sat himself down comfortably, tucking himself into Louis' side and pushing one of the mugs into his free hand.

"Hi, darling," The older man mumbled into his hair, receiving a half hearted response of something resembling a greeting. He tucked his face further into Louis' jumper, breathing in deeply.

"Tired," Harry supplied in a small voice, making Louis nod. He quickly pushed the phone between his shoulder and his ear and curled his arm around the boy, holding him tightly.

"Course you are, been a long day. You can sleep in the car, sweetheart," Louis mumbled, to which Harry replied with a quick nod of his head. The older could still hear Zayn's quiet breathing on the other end of the line, not saying anything. "Zee, I'm sorry but we need to get packing, mate. We'll see you real soon, yeah?"

After he'd hung up on the phone, they sat in silence as the young boy dozed off, his head leaning comfortably on Louis' chest. He stroked through his hair with gentle fingers as it lulled the boy to sleep, eventually letting out a soft noise through his slumber showing that he had faded off.

Reluctantly, Louis had to climb out from underneath him and crawl up the stairs, shoving the last of their clothes into a suitcase. It had been such a good day, with the two of them being showered with early Christmas gifts and a great meal for his birthday - and now the last thing Louis could be bothered to do was drive four hours straight down South.

The next time he became aware of his mind was halfway home, struggling to keep his gaze on the road as his eyes kept darting to the side where Harry sat in the passenger seat behind him.

It's like Louis had been running on autopilot for the past two hours - bundling his boy into the car, hugging his mother tight in farewell as he scrambled into the vehicle. His hands glued to the wheel, he once again glanced to his left.

Harry's head was leaning against the crystal clear window as he slept, his face flushed with the cool air with a few longer strands of hair falling over his features. He had his legs pulled underneath his body, a blanket that Louis had found in the boot thrown over him. He also had this pull towards Louis, making the man want to hold him, be with him all the time. It was mad.

Instead of staring at the boy for any longer, Louis' eyes once again trailed to look at the empty road ahead of them. His hand moved towards the radio, flicking it on at the lowest volume to reduce the uncomfortable silence.

He was only pulled out of his tired driving when he heard a soft noise beside him, the ruffling of a jacket. He couldn't help but stop the car at the side of the road when he realised Harry was desperately pulling at the seat belt, having been asking for Louis with the boy not realising.

Heavy pants escaped his mouth as Louis turned to him, smoothing a gentle hand down his cheek.

"It's me, darling. I'm sorry, I didn't want to wake you," He muttered in a soft voice, one of his hands gripping onto Harry's arm and the other still striking at the skin of his cheek. The boy didn't seem to calm down, his chest rising and falling rapidly, eyes blinking fast.

"I'm sorry, baby, it's me," Louis muttered, reaching up to trail a finger over one of Harry's closed eyes, taking in the expression of desperation on his face. "It's okay - here, darling,"

He made sure he kept his voice steady, understanding. He knew Harry - he should have realised the boy would be terrified when he woke up in a different place surrounded by nothing but the hum of a car engine. Louis carefully unfastened his seatbelt, pulling the boy towards him as he helped him loosen his shirt.

"Deep breaths in, love. That's it," He gently scratched at his head, feeling the soft hair beneath his fingers. Harry's face had grown pale, eyes closed and cold lips trembling slightly.

"M' sorry, it's - you didn't speak-"

Louis silenced him with a finger trailing over his lips, careful and gentle. Pulling him close with the other arm, he let the boy feel out his face, his trembling hands trailing down to his shoulders and squeezing them a little as he let out a small breath of relief.

"Sorry - that hasn't happened in a while, I didn't mean to freak out on you," He mumbled, cheeks flushing a light pink. It reminded Louis of when he'd first taken him out, reminded him of the unfamiliar, lost boy in his car with confused eyes and flushed skin.

"You know you don't need to be ashamed of that," Louis mumbled back, stroking through his hair before glancing around. They were surrounded by darkness, parked to the side near to a small forest of tall trees, every so often a car driving past on the highway peacefully.

The moonlight seemed to flicker through the thick clouds above London as Louis stared ahead at the road, his hand still pushing through the young boy's hair soothingly.

When Harry eventually pulled back a little, he had a small smile on his face, the corners of his lips pulled upwards.

"What's on your mind, darling?"

"Ask me again," Harry breathed out into the chilly air, his eyes closed. He faced right ahead, the words making the older man frown softly.

Once he understood, he'd never been faster to ask anything in his life.

"Will you live with me?"

Harry could only nod, his lips parted a little as his eyelashes fluttered.

-

It wasn't that he understood his boyfriend's logic behind how he decided that moving in with him was the right idea at this exact moment. But clearly, Harry had his thinking sorted out. He was a smart boy.

And if he was ready, so was Louis.

"I don't think you need any more organisation really," Anne said softly, her eyes trailing over to where Louis was sat. When he met her gaze, he wondered if it would feel the same to look at Harry and have the boy look back with the same green eyes as his mother.

"No, I feel like he already knows where things are as it is,"

Anne hummed in agreement, flipping through a little document file and raising the white porcelain mug to her lips to take a small sip. "Organising your things would only confuse him more,"

"That's what I thought," The man nodded in confirmation. He watched for a few quiet moments as the woman pulled out Harry's most important documents, sorting them into a separate folder. "What about like - I don't want him to hurt himself,"

The woman glanced at him for a few long seconds before nodding knowingly, putting the papers down. She patted her fingers on the wooden table in front of the two of them, making Louis gaze snap downwards toward it.

"Just do me one favour - when either of you is done with something, just put it back. I know that's going to be hard at the beginning but - it really helps, it helps him find things and not trip,"

"I feel like he should be here for this conversation," Louis pointed out quietly, making the woman nod slowly.

"It's alright. Sometimes, what he doesn't know won't hurt him. I just want my baby safe, you know?"

"Of course," Louis agreed, reaching out to the file she handed him hesitantly. He took it in his hands, glancing down at Harry's name neatly printed on a label.

"Keep it safe, will you? It's all his information, really. And doctor notes, they need to be kept safe, too,"

Louis tucked the plastic folder into his bag with another nod, placing his now empty mug back on the table in front of him.

Harry was currently out with Niall, catching up after Christmas dinner. The day was fairly cold, with heavy dark skies hanging over the city and a small drizzle falling from the clouds. However, the two boys had trailed on a small walk, arms linked.

After the dinner, Louis had however declined the offer to join and instead opted to help Anne clean up, and ask her one final time about what she thought about Harry's decision.

He didn't expect her to practically hand over Harry's entire life to him.

"You know, I never thought you would end up stealing H to live with you," The young girl spoke from where she was perched in the corner of the sofa, her soft eyes watching Louis carefully. Gemma always had a knowing gaze.

"Well, I have succeeded," The man joked easily, making her smile softly.

"And I'm glad," She ducked her head a little, a few light strands falling into her eyes. When she glanced up again Anne had left the room with the mugs and Louis was watching her carefully.

"You're alright with it, though, right?"

"Alright?" She laughed. "I'm perfectly alright! I'm super happy for him, in fact. And you, of course,"

"Thanks," The man shot her a quick from before glancing down at where his bag was, the file inside. His eyes trailed over to where his overnight bag was propped against the wall by the doorway, a heavy feeling hanging over his heart.

He was becoming responsible.

This was big - this meant no more sneaking out at three in the morning for a smoke with Zayn, no more living off takeaway for two weeks straight. It meant cooked meals, staying at home, working for himself and his boy. This meant having someone to hold him when he's feeling down and holding that someone when they're not okay.

He was glad that someone was Harry, even if the fact that the boy was blind only meant more challenges for the two of them.

He could imagine waking up every morning, body curled around the younger boy's with flushed skin and hair disheveled from sleep. He could imagine coming home each day and seeing Harry right there, and that was enough to make him snap his gaze upwards at the girl who had turned back to the television playing some sort of a Christmas film at a low volume.

"I love him," Louis told her, making her look over at him in slight surprise at the sudden speech, before she smiled at him. "I don't know who else to tell this to. It's overwhelming, you know? Like, I see him, and my heart just kind of..."

He did some half careless motion with his hands to demonstrate, eventually sitting back with a heavy sigh. "He's so gorgeous, inside and out,"

"He's a babe," Gemma agreed, reaching upwards to tuck a strand of her straightened hair behind her ear. "Quite a beauty, ain't he?"

"Certainly," Louis nodded, smirking a little. "Runs in the family, obviously,"

The girl rolled her eyes, smiling nevertheless. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Tomlinson,"

He only grinned at her, settling in to sit more comfortably, his gaze landing on the television screen. He couldn't however focus on the film, with the Christmas spirit still filling the air of the spacious house and the constant thought of Harry on his mind.

When the boy finally stumbled back into the house, cheeks red and hair wild from the wind, Louis kissed him against the hallway wall like never before.

The boy's lips felt cold yet his mouth was warm against his, his skin chilly where Louis' fingers brushed over it. He lifted him so that Harry was trapped between the wall and himself, his legs hoisted up and wrapped around his hips.

He squeaked in surprise when he was lifted up, giggling into Louis' mouth as he let the man kiss him hard.

"You wanna start the new year together?" Louis muttered against his lips, his own parted to pant a little. He opened his eyes ever so slightly to glance at Harry, their foreheads touching.

A soft smile grew on Harry's face when his eyes fluttered open. "Certainly,"

And so Louis kissed him again.


	28. 27

The hard tip of the pencil was in between his lips, chewed up wood with a thick taste in his mouth. Either way, he didn't make any move to move it away, instead humming a little around it.

"Just analyse it," The thick Irish accent piped up from across the room where Harry knew his friend was, digging through some of his clothes and folding them somewhat neatly into a cardboard box.

"I can't," Harry drew out in a sigh, closing his eyes. He let the pencil drop, eventually folding his arms and resting his head on top of them. "I can't analyse shit. God, writing is so energy draining,"

Niall hummed a little, the rustling of some kind of material echoing through the now empty room.

"You sure you need all of this? There's so many shirts, who are you trying to impress?"

Harry simply raised and dropped his shoulders where he rested his arms on top of his workbook. He wasn't trying to impress anybody. He was tired, and he wanted Louis. It was getting ridiculous, the burning feeling in his chest taking over his entire body whenever he even thought about the man.

He sighed, frustrated at the work that he couldn't do. Without even realising, his fingers trailed up the bare skin of his arm, into the crook of his elbow. Wordlessly and quietly, he gently pinched at the soft skin, pulling a little at the lack of pain he felt.

"Harry," He was stopped by a firm hand grabbing his own, stern voice above him. "You promised,"

The young boy clenched his friend's fingers tightly, letting a soft sigh slip out of his mouth as he sat up once again. "I'm sorry. Everything is tiring me so much - I hate that I can't even write,"

"Mate, your eyes don't work," Niall pointed out the obvious statement, making the other boy raise his eyebrow with a soft smile on his lips. "No problem. Who needs to write anyway? Read your Brille stuff, or whatever,"

"Braille," Harry corrected him, reaching forward to clip the few loose sheets into his binder, fingers running across the top of each piece of paper, feeling out the small bumps punched out on the smooth white texture. He carefully read each letter, his eyes opening when he glanced in the Irish boy's direction. "You wanna know something?"

"Sure, entertain me," The boy ushered him, before Harry felt him pushing his body slightly, sitting himself down on the small wooden chair beside him. The younger boy grasped the chair for support to prevent himself falling off before once again turning to the binder.

"The bloke who invented Braille was called Louis," Harry stated proudly, a wide grin growing on his features. It only widened when he heard the boy beside him attempting to stifle his laughter, eventually bursting and laughing loudly.

"Are you kidding me? Why do you know this?"

"Why would I not know this?" Harry laughed softly, tilting his head downwards and licking his lips before he closed the plastic binder, pushing it away and tucking it under a few of his other work books.

"You're so whipped," Niall spoke slowly, and the boy could almost feel him shaking his head beside him. "You are, anything your Louis would ask for, you'd do it,"

"Of course," Harry scoffed, planting both of his elbows on the wooden desk and resting his chin in his palms. He closed his eyes, breathing in deeply and smiling in satisfaction. "I have a boyfriend,"

"You do. And I don't have a girlfriend. What's this reverse psychology?"

"I don't know, but I'm loving it," The boy giggled quietly to himself, reaching with his hand to cover his mouth.

"I can only imagine what else you're loving,"

The young boy ignored Niall's filthy minded comment, instead focusing on his life. Of course, there was the constant stress with his education and the constant problem of not being able to miss that dreaded table in Louis' hallway from which he now had a permanent mark on his hip. But all was fine - he was in love, he was young, he had friends. And he was about to start a new chapter of his life, living away from home. With Louis. God, even the thought itself made him feel giddy inside, his stomach fluttering.

-

The quiet meowl that came from one of the cages startled Louis out of his trance. He felt the young boy beside him tug on his hand a little, the heavy weight of his soft palm pressed into his own.

"Where's that coming from?" The excited voice spoke up beside him, making Louis glance over at the boy. He had his hair pushed back and tucked neatly behind his ears, a large cream sweater hanging off his frame. He had his gaze fixed on the floor, but he turned his head to face Louis as soon as the older man did.

"Over on the left," Louis squeezed his hand before dropping it, looping an arm around the boy's hips and gently pushing his fingers into the soft jumper. He ushered the boy over to where the cat cages were, Harry's expression instantly melting.

"Oh, Lou, can I hold one?" He coo'ed, his voice gentle and eyes soft when he met Louis' glance unknowingly. The man quickly agreed, watching as Harry felt out the bars of the cage in front of them, pushing his fingers inside slightly and giggling when a little kitten crawled over to his hand, nosing at it.

"Of course, darling, let me grab someone from staff," Louis patted his hip, a smile growing on his face when he Harry glanced at him with a grin of his own. "You wait right here, yeah?"

With a quick nod from the boy, Louis trailed out of the room, leaving Harry trailing his fingers over the numerous metal cages, a little frown appearing on his face. He wasn't too sure why Louis decided to bring him to an animal adoption centre, not able to recognise a reason why he would need him to look at all the poor animals.

His attention was caught when he felt a soft paw on his own hand, hesitant and gentle. He felt the soft fur of the small cat brush over his palm, a loud purr echoing throughout the cage when he heard the door behind him being pushed open, Louis' familiar voice flowing throughout the room as he chatted with a member of staff.

Harry was only startled a little when Louis once again threw his arm over his shoulder, smiling instantly in the general direction of where the boy was.

"This is my Harry, he'd like to hold a few of the cats over here," He supplied, the younger boy instantly nodding into his neck.

"Sure thing," A girl's voice spoke up, before Harry heard the cling of some keys, metal scraping. He gasped softly when a warm little creature was being placed into his hands, instantly cradling the kitten close to his chest. "You had cats before?"

"I have one!" Harry proudly nodded, closing his eyes as he leaned further into Louis, his fingers scratching gently behind the kitten's ears. "His name's Bamboo, although he's quite old now. Love him all the same,"

The girl hummed in acknowledgement, laughing a little when the cat in Harry's arms bit at his fingers rather pathetically with its' lack of teeth, making the young boy let out a small giggle once again.

"Could I - could I show you which one I'd like to hold? There's one-"

Louis took the small cat from his arms before he could even finish, at which Harry shot him a thankful glance. He quickly trailed back over to where the cages were, remembering where his favourite so far was.

"Buttons? Must say that's not a popular choice," The girl piped up as she went forward to open the cage, reaching inside to pull out the cat. Louis observed from the side, the small cat still cradled in his hands as the girl pulled out a small ball of fluff, fur bright and orange. The cat was very small, eyes still a baby blue. Harry looked more than eager to hold him. "He's never been that good with people - he's rather reserved. Oh-"

The girl watched in surprise as the kitten easily accepted Harry's hold, snuggling its' head into the boy's chest and digging its' paws into his sweater.

"Likes him, I think," Louis offered, at which Harry's small smile grew. The girl shrugged, grinning a little.

"Guess he picks his favourites easily,"

After a few moments of watching Harry and the small fur ball, Louis' heart seemed to melt fully. He shot the girl a knowing look, at which she nodded.

"I'll get the papers," She said, before taking the cat from Louis and ushering him back into the cage. She left Harry with the small kitten, leaving through the door that was still open.

Louis wandered over to where the boy was now seated in a chair, the cat sprawled across his legs and fast asleep. The boy himself seemed rather sleepy, blinking down slowly at Buttons, only raising his head when he heard Louis approaching.

"He is so cute," Harry mumbled, reaching down to run a gentle finger over the cat's neck.

"You want him?" Louis asked quietly as he crouched down beside Harry, resting one hand on the boy's thigh. When he shot Louis a questioning look, he could only grin. "You can have him, if you want,"

"But - do you mean-"

"Yeah, I do mean," Louis laughed softly, sitting up a little to press a small kiss to his cheek. "Thought you'd like a companion of your own and leave Bamboo for your mum,"

"Oh - Lou, please. That's big. You'd let me do that?" Harry's eyes were now wide, an expression of surprise written over his features. Louis couldn't speak for a few seconds when he stared into Harry's eyes, his gaze seeming to be so powerful as he kept it still on the man's face, his lips parted slightly.

"I don't need to let you to do anything," Louis muttered, stroking over his denim clad thigh lightly. "Everything's your own choice, my darling. When we do live together, you can do what you want, yes? The world's yours, babe,"

Harry blankly stared at him in silence for a few longer seconds before Louis noticed his eyes filling with tears, a wet smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. "Love you, you know,"

"You too, honey. Now - let me see that cat. God - he's like bright orange,"

Harry smiled as he moved over so his legs were closer to Louis, the man laughing a little when the kitten growled softly, turning over to stretch across Harry's legs on his back.

"What's orange like?"

Louis thought for a few seconds, looking up to eye the boy. He had his eyes closed, face content as he reached out for one of Louis' hands. He quickly laced their fingers together, using his spare hand to gently stroke over the cat's fur.

"Nothing like green, that's what I can tell you." Louis laughed softly, remembering back to the one time where Harry asked him to explain the colour green. "Um. It's a bit less popular. Usually quite bright. You don't see many orange things - it's really warm, like the sun. And - let me think. Hm, some people have ginger hair, which is like orange but toned down. That's what this cat looks like,"

"That sounds pretty," Harry approved, nodding slowly as though he was comprehending Louis' words. "I like the warm part. Warm like the sun. Hey - you're warm."

Louis raised his eyebrows, smiling a little. "Thanks, I think,"

Harry nodded a little again, opening his eyes as he faced the cat once again. "He - he's really warm too. No wonder he's orange,"

Louis couldn't help but stare down at the boy in admiration, his blind eyes focused on the floor and his long, careful fingers pushing gently through the fur. He was so delicate with his actions, never wanting to hurt anyone or anything. And Louis simply admired it.

Even his innocence - this bloody colour thing, associating colours with things and with feelings. It was all so new to Louis, and it all seemed to fit into his life so perfectly.

After signing off the papers with the promise of picking up Buttons as soon as Louis got a pet carrier, he took the young boy to his flat - his flat, that was soon to be their home. Their shared home, where they'd make memories, where they'd go through things together. A place where one day he hoped to make love to the boy, show him his true feelings that were bottled up deep inside.

He took him home and he kissed him roughly into the mattress of a bed that was soon to be shared, tilted his head just right when Harry asked for more, licked into his mouth quickly and messily when the boy writhed under him in anticipation, body shaking with want.

"I'm not ready," Harry breathed when their lips were pressed together, panting into each other's mouths with their bodies aligned, Louis' hand trailing up his thigh. "I'm not ready,"

"I know," Louis had whispered back into his mouth, breathing heavily when Harry arched up into him, a broken moan falling past his lips. "I know, darling. It's okay,"

They didn't do anything, of course, Louis helping the boy to get off simply by kissing him, threading a strong hand through his locks. When Harry was worn out, eyes sleepy and body tired, he himself had left for a shower, washing away emotions and steadying himself against the bathroom tile when the thought of Harry crossed his mind. It was Harry's name that he'd choked out through his lips in the end, groaning as he watched the water wash it all away.

It was late the same evening when he was wordlessly scrolling through his phone, his spare hand buried in the mess of Harry's hair. The boy was fast asleep beside him, clad with nothing but the white bed sheets covering his flushed body. He slept peacefully, but Louis was having to control himself, trying to busy himself with something rather than simply watching the boy sleep.

He had just found a message that he never replied to, attempting to type out a reply with one hand, when the shrill sound of the doorbell echoed throughout the house, even through the door separating them from the hallway.

"What in God's name," The man muttered to himself, quickly checking to see whether Harry was still asleep. He knew how the boy was with being woken up suddenly, especially with loud, unfamiliar noises. To his luck, Harry had only turned onto his side, tucking his head further into the soft pillow.

Louis' eyes trailed over to the clock hanging above the door frame. It was showing a late time, with it being way past eleven in the evening. The dimly lit room has never looked darker, the bed never seeming more comfortable than in that moment.

Reluctantly, the man pulled himself from underneath the warm duvet, tucking it in around Harry so that the nude boy would not feel any cold. He quickly stumbled over to his desk, pulling on a pair of pants before stepping out of the room, his feet cold on the wooden flooring of the hallway.

He didn't know what to expect when he pulled the front door open, but it definitely wasn't what he was seeing.

"What - what happened to you?" Louis could only manage out, his eyes scanning over his best friend.

Zayn was stood in front of him, looking a right mess. Don't get Louis wrong - but this was a rare sight. His hair, usually flawlessly styled, now hung limp over his left eye, thick and dark. His eye itself seemed slightly bruised, not any worse than his lip which was still bleeding, a lone drop of red trickling down his chin.

Christ, even his nose looked fucked. In other circumstances, Louis would have taken a picture.

"I - can you help me?" The dark-haired man muttered, voice slow and hesitant. Louis instantly knew he must have had a drink or two.

"Club fight?" He guessed, pulling the door open to let the boy step past him. However, Zayn didn't budge in the slightest. "Come on. We've all been there. Grown out of it now, as you can see. I'm domestic, and all,"

"I didn't get into a fight," Zayn stated, making the man raise one eyebrow at him.

"Any other explanations for your face, then?"

"I can't say I remember," The boy muttered, his cheeks flushing. "I know the bloke from somewhere. You'd recognise him. Help me, though? Liam's back home, I'm locked out. I don't have my keys,"

"Where the fuck are your keys, then?" Louis yawned, not bothering to take anything the man was saying to heart. Surely, nothing here was a big issue. Fights happened all the time, and Zayn was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.

"I don't know," Zayn echoed his precious words, finally looking up to meet Louis' gaze. His eyes were dark, but tired. He looked worn out, as though his evening had dragged on forever.

"Alright," Louis sighed, nodding at the boy who finally trailed inside the flat. "Look who's begging to get back in here now. Go - clean your face up, your mattress is still in your old room. I'll see you in the morning, Malik, and we gotta talk about this,"

"Sure," Zayn drawled out, his face twisting up in disgust when he brought a hand to his face, bringing it away with a little blood on his fingers. "Yeah, mate, sure. Thanks, Louis. Night - tell Harry, too."

Without any further explanations, the older man simply saluted Zayn, disappearing into his bedroom once again.

It was only later when he was attempting to curl himself around Harry and fade into sleep that he let himself think about his friend. He mentioned a bloke that Louis would surely recognise. Why on earth would he suggest that?

With one last tired sigh, he shrugged to himself, finally letting his body fall into slumber, the warm boy tightly held in his arms.


	29. 28

Loud laughter echoed throughout the building, the walls vibrating with how loud the music was playing. They sat around the living room, Zayn carefully and admiringly watching the young Irish boy down another drink with a flushed face. He was truly amazed.

"Down he goes with another one!" Louis' loud voice rose above all, tone excited and slightly slurred. He was currently hanging over the back of one of the sofas, watching intently along with everyone else how Niall was handling all the alcohol. He let out a loud whistle when the boy downed another glass, making the few people around the room clap excitedly. "The audience applauds as Niall Horan once again shows his skill! Ladies and gentlemen, give it up!"

All of this was not missed by the young boy sitting on a small chair in the corner of the room, a plastic straw between his lips. He listened carefully to Louis exclaiming loudly, the excitement clear in his voice. He loved how happy he sounded, bringing a smile of his own onto his face.

"How does he do that?" Zayn asked from beside him eventually, voice soft. He himself was not drinking anything, however Harry was currently sipping his way through something fruity.

"He can handle it," Harry shrugged his shoulders up and down, another cheer from Louis echoing around him. "Runs in his blood, really,"

Zayn hummed beside him, making Harry turn in his direction. After Louis had told him about someone breaking said man's nose and giving him a black eye, he felt like he needed to be extra careful when talking to him. Zayn didn't seem too keen on that idea, not particularly enjoying the attention. Harry knew that his face was still a little bruised from gently feeling it out this morning, fingertips trailing over the cut on his lip hesitantly.

"Alright lads?" A loud voice exclaimed above them all of a sudden, making Harry shut his eyes protectively. He still didn't want any strangers meeting his empty gaze. "Missing out a bit, aren't you?"

"Liam," The man beside Harry drew out, sighing a little. Only then did he realise that it was in fact only Liam. "Harry and I are having a great time, in fact. Aren't we, mate?"

"Sure!" Harry piped up, smiling politely as he reached up with a balled up hand to rub at one his eyes. Truthfully, he was enjoying it. He liked Louis enjoying himself more, though, which made it even better.

"Alright - okay, but. I have an announcement, kind of? That alright?" Liam spoke slowly, and Harry could tell that he was still coherent. He hummed a little in dissatisfaction when Zayn was pulled up from the sofa beside him, and suddenly Liam was clearing his throat exceptionally loud.

It all happened so fast that Harry thought he might have missed it.

Before he knew what was happening, Liam's voice asking a question was heard, everyone around them holding their breath in anticipation. When Zayn choked out a yes, the cheers that echoed through the flat were almost too much to handle.

"Yes lad!" Louis' voice was now closer, and Harry leaned forward a little to hear it better. Was he mistaken, or did Liam and Zayn just get engaged? Judging from Louis' excited tone, he in fact had heard right.

"Congratulations!"

"Finally, it's been long enough!"

"Alright Louis, you're next!" Someone's voice spoke louder, above all, making the man laugh in response. Harry could feel his cheeks flushing as he ducked his head, smiling to himself. His smile faltered a little when he realised that maybe it was true - maybe it was coming closer than he thought, Louis finding someone better and actually proposing, actually spending the rest of their lives with them.

Harry just wanted to enjoy this while it lasted.

When an arm looped around his shoulders, pulling him out of his thoughts successfully, he couldn't help the choked out gasp of surprise. Relaxing slightly when he felt Louis' clumsy mouth pressing to his cheek, he couldn't help but grin when there was a wet kiss being pressed on his skin.

"Can't believe the dick proposed without telling us first," Louis slurred out into his ear, chuckling a little when Harry only answered with a light laugh, smile seemingly permanent on his lips. "Love you, babe. You happy for them?"

"Of course!" Harry nodded quickly, opening his eyes as he breathed in the scent of his boyfriend, the strong musky smell he carried. His breath smelt like alcohol, filthy and wet against Harry's skin; and he loved it. "Unexpected, but. It's great,"

"Mm," Louis agreed with a hum into his ear, pressing his lips to the skin behind it. "How's your evening, darling? Sorry I keep running off-"

"It's absolutely fine, you idiot," Harry huffed out, reaching out to slap the man's chest with the back of his hand. "Go and have fun. I'm alright,"

"But I want you to have fun," The man whined, making Harry laugh softly, hesitantly. His squeak of surprise was inevitable when he felt Louis tugging him off the sofa by his hand, helping him stand steady with a strong arm around his middle.

"Louis - don't, seriously," Harry tried to keep his voice stern, but he couldn't help the nervous shake of his tone when he wobbled on his feet. "Please, don't. You're drunk - I've already had some, don't-"

"You'll be fine!" Louis assured him with a light laugh, holding him close. "Just wanna dance with you, come on,"

Harry swallowed thickly as the loud music around him shook the whole floor, echoing through his head. It's not that he didn't trust Louis, but with the music drowning out any noises he could pick out and with rubbish littering their flat, together with his boyfriend stumbling along beside him with the alcohol in his blood, he wasn't too keen on anything.

"Just once,"

"T's what you said about that dinner when I met you, and look where that got us," He laughed into his ear, making Harry's skin flush slightly. He allowed Louis to pull him along to where he knew there was a big space on the carpet, having helped to move the coffee table out of the way himself. "Just once, okay. Come on, just lift your arms,"

Harry hesitantly rose his arms, hooking them over Louis' shoulders just as the current song finished, the notes fading out into the silence. When the next song began, slightly slower this time, the younger boy turned his head to the side questioningly.

"You're fine," Louis assured him in a slur, his arms tightening around Harry's body. He felt warm around him, body heat seeming to radiate for miles off him. "Fine, babe. Just follow what I'll do,"

They swung to the music for a few long minutes, Harry eventually tucking his head into Louis' neck as he attempted to move swiftly.

"Must be quite a sight, huh?"

"You're rather graceful, actually," Louis mumbled back, nibbling gently along Harry's jaw. He ended it with a quick kiss to his lips, pulling away a little. "Wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Only cos' the song was slow," Harry drawled out, still not making any move to unhook his arms from around Louis' neck. It didn't seem that he needed to, with the loud chant of the countdown already beginning to echo through the flat.

"Eight!"

Harry blinked slowly, quickly running over what was happening in his head. When he realised, he raised his head and opened his eyes, glancing over to where he'd think Louis' face most likely was.

"Hey, you're looking at me," Said man huffed out huffed out a hesitant laugh as another shout echoed around them.

"Seven!"

"I am?" Harry asked, voice quiet. He felt a small smile curling onto his lips.

"Six!"

"You are," Louis confirmed once again, coughing a little. He cleared his throat, digging his fingers into Harry's hips. "Gorgeous,"

"Five!"

"That's ought to bruise," Harry giggled, leaning forward a little, but not darling to move his eyes. He tried to keep himself as still as possible, even holding his breath.

"Four!"

"Good, at least everyone will know what I want them to know," Louis muttered back, his breath now considerably closer. It made Harry freeze momentarily.

"Three!"

He laughed nervously, twitching a little under Louis' gaze which he could feel on his face. "And what's that?"

"Two!"

The man grinned a little, trailing one hand closer to Harry's head before tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ear, off his face. He leaned closer as he cupped the boy's face with the same hand, cheeks flushed in his palms.

"One!"

"That you're mine," Louis whispered, leaning forward to join their lips. The loud fireworks could be heard in the distance, exploding into the sky into a beautiful arrange of so many different colours. For Louis, the only beauty he needed was Harry.

He kissed him softly at first, eventually tilting his head a little and licking along Harry's lips, panting a little when the boy gasped into his mouth. He steadied him with the hand from his cheek grabbing onto the back of his head with a small amount of force, fingers threading through his long locks. His other hand lingered on his hip still, holding him still.

He only pulled away when their lungs pleaded for air, only breathing off each other.

"Not too sure on how many people will actually see my hips," Harry muttered in a late response, his forehead against Louis'. He giggled when the man groaned, clearly feeling that he just rolled his eyes at him.

"Beyond the point," Louis spoke back, voice quiet. He didn't open his eyes, not yet, revelling in the darkness that Harry had no choice but to live in. "Would take away your blindness any day if it meant I could have it instead, you know? Would do anything so you could be happy,"

The young boy smiled at the man's slur of words. "You're drunk,"

"And you're mine," Louis repeated, finally blinking his eyes open. Harry pushed closer into him, pressing a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Are you happy?"

"With you, always," Harry instantly replied, not needing any time to think. When he blinked his own eyes open, he stared right ahead, breath getting caught in his chest. "Always."

-

"I want to amputate my brain," Harry groaned out, hand flying to his forehead. He smacked his head, grunting again. "Is that possible? If so, please arrange that. Will I die?"

"No, you won't," Louis supplied helpfully, stepping forward to dig through a cabinet in the kitchen, eventually pulling out a small cardboard box of paracetamol. "Here, sweet. Take two, no more. They'll help,"

"Holy fuck," Harry blinked quickly, trying to get his eyes used to the bright light of the kitchen that seemed to shine through the constant darkness and in fact burn his eyes. "I feel like someone's smacked my head with a brick, or summat,"

"Mmm," Louis nodded, sliding a glass of water across the counter before taking a seat opposite the boy, eyeing him carefully. "Are you actually alright, baby? Seems like those few strawberry drinks really did it for you,"

"You know I don't drink a lot," Harry mumbled back, clutching at the glass with a trembling hand. Louis watched him raise it to his lips, take a hesitant sip. "Just a bit of a headache,"

"A bit," The man mocked his tone, making Harry grunt softly.

"How are you not worse off than me?"

"Used to it, I suppose. You need some work on that,"

"I'm fine, thanks," Harry shook his head, reaching up to push his hair off his face and taking in a shaky breath. Louis only grew more concerned.

"Hey - are you actually feeling alright? Not too bad, right? I don't want you being proper sick over this," He spoke, voice hesitant. He bit into his lip, raising his own glass of water to his lips. "Okay, maybe we should move this to another day-"

"No!" Harry protested quickly, placing the glass on the counter with a loud noise that made him cringe slightly. "No, absolutely not. We've planned this for ages, now,"

Louis sighed, clearly defeated. He knew that he wanted Harry to move in with him as soon as he could, but he definitely didn't want it to happen when the boy wasn't feeling too good.

"It's all packed up, just gotta bring it over here," Harry continued, voice raising a little higher than usual. Louis only then made out the slight tone of panic. "Please,"

"Darling - baby, it's alright, calm down," He soothed the boy, reaching across the counter to take his shaking hand in his own, squeezing his palm. "I love you - I love you a lot, calm down. It's okay,"

Harry breathed in shakily, reaching up with his spare hand to press a finger to the corner of one of his eyes. He pressed a little harder, sighing in frustration.

"M' sorry,"

"No," Louis silenced him, squeezing his hand once again, this time slightly tighter. "No, don't say you're sorry. You're alright. I love you, and we'll do it today, yeah? Then we have all the time in the world for everything else, sweetheart,"

"Okay," Harry drew out the word, finally squeezing his palm back. Louis was grateful he didn't panic anymore. "I'm still sorry, though. Just thought - maybe you changed your mind-"

"After harassing you with the proposition for months on end?" Louis laughed, making the boy smile a little. "No way, darling. Now get washed up, yeah? I'll fix something to eat, we'll go back to yours after. Grab your stuff. Say bye to Anne. You alright?"

"Absolutely," Harry nodded excitedly, already standing up, wincing a little at the sharp pain in his head. "I'll - I'll see you in a few minutes,"

"Yeah," Louis said slowly, considering the boy's choice of words. "Yeah, you will,"

He grinned to himself as Harry backed out of the kitchen with his own small smile.


	30. 29

"Look after him, Louis,"

The man shifted a little where he was standing, leaning against the doorframe leading into the small garden. He looked over to where Anne was, her arms wrapped around her own body with a woollen cardigan keeping her warm. Reaching up to push his sunglasses further up his face, he squinted against the late winter sun.

"You know I will," He replied softly, watching as the woman nodded slowly. She looked at him carefully for a few long seconds, before turning away and looking out into the garden where the cat was lying on a bench, stretched out in the sun. "Anne - I know this must be quite hard and really sudden, rather, but... I love him, so much,"

"Of course," She nodded once again, the small smile on her face giving away her true feelings. "And I'm very proud of him. And I trust you to be good to him,"

"I'll treat him the best I can," He promised, grinning at the woman when her smile grew a little. Their quiet moment was interrupted by a clutter from behind, making the two turn to look into the kitchen.

The blind boy was stood in the middle of the room with a bag slung over his shoulder and his cane tucked into the pocket of his furry jacket. He held onto another bag in his hands, although it was clear that he was struggling with its' weight. Either way, he was smiling sheepishly with a slight look of confusion on his face, his head tilted to the side as he faced the two.

"Hey, darling," Louis piped up, turning fully into the kitchen and reaching up to push his own glasses off his face, into his hair. He blinked a few times, taking in the boy in front of him and eventually reaching down to grab the other bag out of Harry's hands.

"Oh, that's alright, I can carry it," The young boy quickly protested, only being silenced when Louis leaned forward to press a quick kiss to the side of his mouth.

"Don't be silly, now. You got everything?"

"Everything," Harry confirmed, before hesitating a little. "You could go and check, though? Just in case. Not cause I didn't see something, everyone forgets things. Right?"

Louis laughed softly, nodding. "Right, babe. I'll go up and check and then - then, you think you'd be ready to go?"

"Absolutely," Harry agreed with a quick nod, and so Louis dropped the bag off by the staircase and disappeared up the stairs.

He trailed into Harry's room, now mostly empty aside from the furniture. The pale walls seemed to stare back at him as he quickly glanced around the room, at the empty bed and the wardrobe that was wide open, also completely empty.

He went over to close it, before quickly checking the bedside table. Upon pulling out the drawer, he was a little surprised at the contents of it. Surely, Harry must have forgotten about it.

He hesitantly pulled out a few Braille textbooks that were heavier than they seemed, a pot of some sort of exotic fruit lip balm and a pair of dark sunglasses that he knew Harry would wear in public. At the very bottom of the drawer was the boy's wallet, along with a small notebook. The notebook however was not in any sort or form Braille when Louis absentmindedly flipped through the pages, pausing a little at the middle page. The date was messily scribbled at the top, a few lines of writing underneath.

Before invading the boy's privacy further, he quickly gathered all the items in his hands and leaving behind only a candle lighter, he left the room, closing the door behind him carefully.

"Hey, you left a few things in the-" Louis trailed off as he stumbled down the stairs when his eyes landed on Harry, arms wrapped tightly around his mother. She was rubbing his back delicately, his head tucked into her shoulder as he held on tight. Louis felt a tight feeling in his throat, biting into his lip to keep his mouth shut.

"I'll miss you too, angel," Harry's mum was mumbling quietly into his ear, eventually pulling back and holding the boy by his shoulders, reaching one hand forward to tuck some of his hair behind his ear. "But I'll be right here, and Louis will be right there for you, alright? I'm proud of you. Come here,"

He once again hugged her tightly as she opened her eyes, meeting Louis' gaze over the boy's shoulder. She acknowledged him with a soft smile and a gentle nod, finally letting her son go.

When he turned to face Louis, his face was flushed a light shade of red and he stood, pigeon toed as he waited for some sort of go-ahead. When he didn't move for a few minutes, Louis trailed over to him and gently took his hand in his own, picking up the bag once again with the other.

Harry didn't jump at all at the touch, making Louis beam at him. Instead, he clung back, a shy smile across his features.

"Will we go now?" He asked in a quiet mutter, his spare hand tightening around the cane in his pocket.

"Indeed we will go," Louis confirmed, squeezing his palm before leaning over and pressing his lips to the boy's cheek in a small kiss.

When he watched Harry wave enthusiastically at Anne through the car window, his heart swelled up and he felt his throat tightening. The beautiful boy was finally all his, and the world was all theirs.

When they pulled out of the driveway and Harry turned to face him, a wide grin on his face and his eyes wide open, Louis knew that he could not get any more lucky, no matter what he wished for. Because everything he could want, he had right there.

-

"So - welcome home!" The man laughed as he pushed the door open, Harry trailing after him into the flat. He missed the coat hanger just by an inch, making Louis breathe out a sigh of relief. He had Harry's bags slung over his shoulders, the pet carrier in Harry's own hands, the boy careful and delicate when he held onto it tightly, with only a small bag slung over his own shoulder.

"Why, thanks," He giggled under his breath, smiling softly to himself as he placed his bag down on the floor of the hallway along with the pet carrier, listening carefully as Louis shut the front door behind them, locking it securely.

He turned back to the boy, softening at the sight of Harry shyly standing in the hallway, leaning down to pull his boots off. He yelped a little in surprise when strong arms circled around his hips, lifting him up a little.

"Oh - Lou!" He laughed softly, yet a little nervously as the man twirled him around, laughing right back. Louis stopped them for a minute to kiss into the boy's mouth, huffing out a laugh into the kiss.

"Don't, that was scary," Harry giggled as he held onto the man's shirt, hands letting go of the tight grip and instead shakily trailing his hands up his shoulders, to his face. He touched a finger to Louis' lips and cupped his cheek with the other hand, blinking his eyes shut as he breathed in heavily.

"You loved it," Louis breathed out a laugh, sighing happily when the boy touched his face. He leaned into his hands, his own arms tightening around his small body. "And I love you,"

"And I love you," Harry echoed in a whisper, the corners of his lips lifting in a small smile. He moved his fingers over the man's face once again, carefully feeling out his skin and the stubble dusting his jaw. He trailed his fingertips over Louis' closed eyelids and over his eyebrows, touch delicate. "To the moon and back,"

-

It was a long day of unpacking Harry's bags and neatly folding all his clothes into spare drawers, hanging up his shirts in their wardrobe - God, that still made Louis' heart flutter, knowing that they shared everything now. It was also a long day of training young Buttons to eat the food out of his bowl rather than crawling inside of it with the entirety of his body covered in some sort of dry cat food.

Harry was currently in the bathroom, taking out a few of his favourite body washes and carefully laying them out across the edge of the tub against the wall, his toothbrush now alongside Louis' in the small porcelain pot by the mirror.

Louis was busy cleaning up the bedroom one last time before their first night together - actually living together, sharing their bed. Just as he stumbled out of the room with a handful of laundry he came to a stop at the bathroom door, letting out a shaky breath when he noticed Harry.

The boy would still make his breath catch every time he saw him, and he quietly wondered to himself if this would always happen. The boy was carefully arranging his things in the bathroom, curled into himself in the drained tub as he leaned over to reach the shelf. He was wearing a warm jumper, his legs clad in some grey sweats and he looked so, so domestic that it made Louis' heart melt.

Instead of making his way into the kitchen with the washing as he was originally planning to do, he dumped the pile of old bed sheets on the floor, instead stumbling into the bathroom and towards the bath.

"You alright?" The young boy asked without turning around, impressing Louis as he had yet to say a word. When Harry turned his head a little to show that he was awaiting an answer, Louis cleared his throat, leaning across the bathtub.

"I'm very good, thanks," He replied, voice soft. He couldn't stop himself from leaning forward, gently taking the boy's cheek in his hand, stroking his thumb over the delicate skin. "How are you feeling?"

"Over the moon," Harry giggled under his breath, closing his eyes as he leaned into the touch of Louis' hand, his own hands letting go of a bottle of shampoo and instead gripping onto the porcelain edge of the bathtub. He scrambled towards Louis suddenly, making the older boy laugh in surprise when he crashed their lips together in a rough kiss. Harry's hands trailed up Louis' body, fingertips gentle to feel out every part of him before he gripped onto his hair tightly, pulling.

Louis pulled back a little to take a breath in, his eyes finally fluttering shut as he shifted where he crouched next to the tub, his tongue gently trailing over the boy's lips, licking into his mouth carefully. When Harry began to tremble in his arms, panting for breath he finally pulled away, tucking a strand behind Harry's ear as he had grown used to doing.

"Do you want to unpack your stuff in the bedroom? I just finished cleaning," He mumbled against Harry's lips, feeling the boy smile hesitantly as he squeezed Louis' shoulders where his hands have moved down to.

"Yeah, if that's alright. Um - do you have that notebook you grabbed? And the things?"

"Yeah, in your bag. Do you want me to..." Louis trailed off, biting into his lip hard. He didn't know where the line was for how much he'd be helping Harry, so he let the boy finish his sentences for him.

"Help? Sure, if you want!" The boy nodded enthusiastically before climbing out of the empty tub, stumbling a little over the rug but quickly straightening himself up, shooting a warm smile in Louis' direction, outstretching his arm towards the man. "Lead the way!"

With a loud laugh, Louis hooked his arm with Harry's, leading them into the bedroom, and making sure he kicked the dirty abandoned duvet off to the side when walking past it.

That night when they had both curled up in bed he let his fingertips trail over Harry's hips, feeling out his soft skin. The young cat was curled up on top of the duvet down between their feet, dozing off. Louis himself had kept his eyes closed, trying to imagine how Harry pictures anything. He knew the boy was probably falling into a slumber but he didn't seem to mind, humming in content when Louis gently felt out his skin, taking in every detail. He noted the way his hips curved and how there were two dimples at the bottom of his spine, how his back seemed endlessly long and how he tucked himself into Louis's side, one arm under his own head and one hand holding onto the man's shoulder with delicacy. He let out a breathy laugh when Louis trailed a hand up to his face, running his fingers over the skin and accidentally prodding him in the eye.

"My bad," Louis muttered, finally opening his eyes. He wasn't too worried when he took in Harry laughing quietly to himself, a soft smile on his face, his eyes still comfortably shut, eyelashes dusting the top of his cheekbones.

"That's quite okay," Harry replied eventually, tilting his head to the side and breathing in heavily. "You see how hard it is?"

"I know, darling," Louis swallowed thickly, nodding even if he boy couldn't see him doing it. "I know."

Harry only raised and dropped his shoulders in a careless shrug, pressing a small kiss to Louis' shoulder.

After a kiss goodbye and when they'd settled down under the covers for the night, Louis watched out of the corner of his eye as the boy shakily felt out the area beside him, pushing something looking unmistakably like an average sized book under his own pillow, tucking it in carefully and quietly as to not raise attention to it. With one final turn of his head towards Louis, the man saw a flash of green looking back at him blankly, the softness of the boy's features, before his mind was taken over by the darkness that Harry knew better than the back of his own hand.


	31. 30

Harry let a small grunt escape past his lips, his mind fading away from the deep slumber he had been in. As he slowly became aware of his surroundings, his body waking up, he also became aware of how much he didn't want to move right now.

A warm ray of sunshine must have been entering through the window, curtains pushed back like Louis liked them. The warmth shone across Harry's face, making him scrunch his nose up as his senses became aware of his surroundings.

The young boy shifted a little, in fact happy where he was in the warmth of Louis' arms around him. He could feel one strong arm wrapped tightly around his middle and holding him close to the man, the other under his head. He slowly raised it, blinking sleepily into the darkness.

The flat was completely silent, the only sound being Louis' soft breathing beside him, every so often a noise coming from the back of his throat as he slept. The ticking of the clock in the hallway was a noise that Harry had pushed to the back of his mind, only serving as background sound. Overall, it's been a few short weeks ever since Harry's decision of moving in with the man came to life, and the boy was finding the past weeks to have been the best days of his life.

Despite how much he would have wanted to stay right where he was, held tight in Louis' warm embrace, he knew that his wiggling about would eventually wake the man, and that was the last thing he wanted. Louis deserved as much sleep as he could get, especially on days like this, when he didn't have to turn up to the supermarket until the afternoon.

The boy felt himself blinking a little as he carefully pulled away from Louis, replacing his body with a thick pillow and moving to climb over the man, sitting down on the edge of the mattress. He was a little startled at the bright light on his sensitive eyes, the burning so intense that he could make out something that wasn't like the usual, endless nothing. A pale spot was in one corner of his vision where he knew the window was, and he breathed in shakily, his hand clenching the bed sheet.

This had happened before, his mind playing tricks on him. He hated it - absolutely despised the false hope it gave him every time.

"Hey there," He whispered, keeping his voice as low as possible when he felt the young cat brushing up against his legs, the long tail swishing behind him gracefully as the fur ticked Harry's skin. He giggled to himself a little, leaning down to reach towards the cat, beaming when young Buttons nosed at his hand. "What do you say about breakfast? And we'll make some for Lou, too,"

The cat didn't reply through any noise, not even a meowl, but he did brush against Harry's legs in agreement, the boy reaching down to ruffle his fur before climbing off the mattress.

When he was halfway through cracking an egg onto the pan, his tongue peeking out the corner of his lips as he concentrated, a knock suddenly echoed throughout the flat, loud and somewhat annoying.

Harry would have to lie if he were to say he did not jump at the noise, his elbow knocking into one of the cabinets. Not wanting Louis to wake up from the loud knocking, he swore under his breath at the sharp pain that shot through his body, quickly reaching around him for a cloth, wiping his hands and heading for the front door.

He only froze a little when his hand was on the door handle, realising that anyone could be on the other side. He hated to admit it, but that was probably the most dangerous thing ever for someone who can't see.

"Um - who's that?" He called out, trying to keep his voice quiet as to not startle the sleeping man in their bedroom. When he didn't receive an immediate response, he bit into his lip, already running over all the options he had in his head, when a weak voice finally answered.

"Harry? It's me, Liam, hey - could you open the door?"

With a deep sigh of relief, the young boy unlocked the door and pulled it open, the cold air of the hallway hitting him in the face as he felt the close presence of another person.

"Good morning - sorry to bother you really early," The boy outside the door said slowly and carefully, making Harry shift a little where he stood. "But... you haven't seen - shit. Sorry. You haven't spoken to Zayn recently?"

Frowning softly, the young boy shook his head, his teeth biting into his bottom lip as he felt his face twist into an expression of concern. What did the boy mean?

"Maybe a few days ago?" He hesitated a little, his voice soft. He heard the boy's shaky exhale. "I'm sorry - why?"

Liam didn't speak for a second, eventually sighing a little. They were still stood in the doorway, but Harry was frozen in one place, slightly lost in the conversation. "I would have thought he'd crash at your place..."

"He did a few times," Harry confirmed with a slow nod. "Um - last week, I think? Maybe twice before that, but nothing recently, really. Sorry..."

"That's alright," He could imagine the boy nodding in front of him. "Um - we fell out, a bit, and... you know. He left, last night."

Harry's lips fell open, his eyebrows furrowing.  
Liam and Zayn falling out over something? That was unheard of, especially ever since the silver band appeared on Zayn's finger. He had let Harry feel it out carefully before, the blind boy cooing at the beautiful and strong metal as Louis held him with an arm around his waist, fingers scratching over his hip. Why would Zayn choose to disappear? "God - I'm sorry, really-"

"It's nothing serious, don't worry," Liam quickly cleared up any bigger worries that were starting to grow in Harry's mind. "Just - I have no idea where he is. Thanks, though. Could I ask Louis, too?"

Harry hesitated a little, shifting from one foot to another where he stood, chewing on his lip in thought. "I could ask him when he wakes up? It's just - he hasn't been sleeping much, so..."

"Absolutely," The boy quickly agreed, reaching forward to squeeze Harry's lower arm a little. "Thanks, mate. Just across the hall in case you see him, yeah?"

"Yeah," Harry quickly nodded in agreement, smiling at the man as best as he could. He couldn't help but wonder where Zayn would have gone to - wasn't Louis the closest to him? In that case, why would he feel the need to leave somewhere else in this kind of situation?

After trailing back into the living room with a finished breakfast that he'd eaten quickly, he curled into the corner of the sofa, resting his head on the arm rest. Keeping his eyes shut and letting his mind flow, the young boy didn't even realise when he fell into a light sleep, only being startled out of it when the television that he'd turned on beforehand switched to advertisements, some kind of commercial for a yogurt blaring out loud.

When Harry's head snapped upwards, he took in a shaky breath. He had to take a few long minutes to realise he was not in fact back at his old home, but instead he was curled into the corner of his and Louis' sofa. With a trembling hand, he reached out in front of him, feeling out the coffee table.

Where was his cane? He was sure he'd left the cane in this room the night before, when they'd come back from buying groceries. Did Louis move his cane? He promised he would never do that.

Harry's mind ran frantic as he slowly climbed off the sofa, his hands shaking more as he attempted to feel out where the object could be. Since it was folded, it had to be tucked away somewhere - why would Louis do that?

With clouded thoughts, Harry quickly let his hand drop to the cold wall. He ran his fingers over the paint, breathing heavily through his nose as he felt out the way towards the hallway, his heart pounding. What time was it? How long had he been asleep for?

His eyes itched as his hand brushed over the bedroom door, head beginning to pound with a growing headache. It was moments like these that the frustration took over, the boy not knowing what time it was, what was happening around him. It made him anxious, made his hands tremble and his eyes itch with the desperation to see.

"Louis?" He called out as he stumbled into the bedroom, quickly crossing the spacious room to get to the bed. Instead of climbing onto it, he sat down on the edge and reached out hesitantly. When his hand brushed over the pillow and a duvet with nobody under it, he could feel his mind run blank with a shaky exhale that he let out through his lips.

Where was Louis?

The boy frantically felt around the bed, to his disappointment finding nothing but twisted bed sheets. The whole room was empty, as far as he was aware, and he had never wanted to cry more than he did in that moment.

Where was he? Why did the man take his cane and disappear like that? Harry couldn't afford to look for him, it would take far too long for him to even get out of this room on his own. He was still learning how to get around the place without slamming into a mirror or bumping his hip on the dreaded hallway table - he let out a small, panicked breath.

He felt like his lungs were closing up, the dark around him burning his eyes with the way it so obnoxiously mocked him. He wanted to see past it, wanted to be like Louis, wanted to see Louis - he wanted to be normal.

Just as Harry held on to the last straw before letting himself panic, he heard a small whistling sound and the sound of the bathroom door opening and closing in the distance. He let out a small breath, this time of relief, his eyes snapping open as he fisted the sheets in his hands.

"Louis?" He let the words slip past his lips in a breathy whisper, his heart stuttering inside his chest when he felt the man's presence, relief flooding his veins when he heard him crossing the room and he only felt at complete bliss when Louis said his name, his tone worried. "Louis, is that you?"

"It's me, darling, why?" The soft voice replied, making him feel as though he'd melted. Harry let out the breath he was holding in, releasing his tight grip on the bed sheets and outstretching his arms, breathing in heavily when the familiar weight snuggled into his embrace. "I'm sorry for scaring you like that,"

"That's okay," Harry nodded against his neck, one arm curling around him and the other gently feeling out the towel wrapped around his waist, the tips of his hair dripping with water. "I'm sorry - I shouldn't panic so bad every time..."

The man simply shook his head a little, holding him a little closer.

"What time is it? Please..."

Louis uttered every answer to him when the boy asked, his trembling subsiding as he gripped onto him tightly.

"Could - could you tell me where my cane is?" The young boy asked quietly, eventually when they'd pulled away, his hands going back to kneading at the duvet nervously as Louis turned away to put clothes on. "I thought it would be on the table - sorry..."

"It's not?" Louis hesitated a little, before making a little noise of acknowledgement. "Shit - sorry, baby. It's right here, I put it by the bed before we went to sleep last night. Man, I shouldn't do that, right?"

Harry let out a small giggle, his relief clear through his shaky voice, his trembling hands. "No - but you always tell me. It's fine. Just tell me next time? Please? I'm sorry I get really paranoid,"

"I understand," Louis agreed. Harry doubted he understood, but either way - the man was amazing to him, and he trusted him when he'd said that.

"Have you seen Zayn, by the way?" He brought up when he remembered, listening closely and briefly making out that Louis was currently pulling on a pair of socks. "Liam came by earlier, he was looking for him..."

"Looking for him?" Louis asked, his questioning tone making his voice rise at the end of the sentence. "What do you mean, looking for him? Did the wanker leave, or what?"

Harry's shoulders rose and dropped in a small shrug, bottom lip curling inwards between his teeth as he chewed on it. "He just said he hadn't been home at all during the night. Kind of sucks, right? I hope they're alright - I hope Zayn's alright,"

Louis hummed his agreement, pushing the wardrobe door shut. "I feel like it's normal for him to disappear? Maybe he needs some time. I just want to know why,"

"They had an argument," Harry said quietly. He opened his eyes, glancing over in the Direction from which he'd last heard movement. "Um - could we not do that? If we fight, please don't leave. Is that okay?"

"Of course,"

"I don't want you to leave. I'd be well scared for you, Lou,"

"I wouldn't leave you, my love," The man said softly. "No matter how bad we would fight - which we won't. No matter how bad, I'll be right here, yeah?"

"Pinky promise?" Harry asked in a quiet voice, making Louis huff out a laugh before a finger was hooked through his own, squeezing tightly. From that, Louis had grabbed his whole hand and locked their fingers together, bringing his palm to his lips and mouthing at his knuckles.

"Pinky promise, darling."

"What do you think they argued over?"

Louis hesitated a little, Harry feeling the mattress dip beside him. He was embraced in a warm hug that he relaxed into, humming softly.

"No idea," Louis said slowly, his words careful. "I mean - it could be anything, really, couldn't it? Let's hope for the best - that it's not too serious, huh?"

"Yeah," Harry quickly agreed with a tiny nod, tilting his neck so that he could easily nose at Louis' jaw, gently sucking on the skin there to left what he'd learnt to be quite a visible mark to others. "Not too serious..."

And as the young boy placed kisses down the man's neck, he was oblivious. They were both oblivious, both unknowing of what might happen. They didn't let the bad thoughts bug them for long with having each other to hold - which, maybe, was a mistake.


	32. 31

"Did they say what happened?"

A sharp pain spread through Harry's body from his hand. When he grimaced a little, he pulled his fingers away from his mouth to stop himself from biting down on them nervously, instead noiselessly lifting the sleeve of his jumper and gently pinching the skin of his arm between two fingers. He was sure that he was being subtle, the man he was with completely engrossed in his phone conversation.

He sucked in a sound of surprise when he felt a strong hand pull his own back, forcefully holding it away from his arm, grabbing both of his wrists and holding them behind him. Harry breathed out shakily, feeling his eyelashes flutter as he exhaled heavily.

"And did they ask him?" The man continued on the phone as though he didn't just grab the boy's arms and held him back forcefully.

The young boy instead resorted to chewing at his bottom lip when his hands were held tightly behind his own back by Louis' strong grip. Said man was currently on the phone to Liam, and Harry had no idea what the news was.

It didn't sound too promising, he figured from Louis' shaky tone, and so he dug his nails into his palms in a last desperate attempt when he clenched his fists. He only stopped and tilted his head upwards when he felt the man's grip loosen, a sharp breath coming from his mouth. 

"Can you see him?" Louis hesitated briefly, listening to the other boy's ramble on the other line, before continuing. "Can we see - visit him?"

Harry shifted a little where he was, making a small noise of frustration in the back of his throat at Louis correcting himself. Once again, his useless eyes came in the way of him leading his life normally. He couldn't even see how Louis was reacting to try and understand what the problem was. 

"That's - okay, that's cool. We'll do that. No later than four," Louis agreed to something, before letting Harry's wrists slip out of his hold completely, taking his hand away to end the call with a quick goodbye.

He didn't say anything once it was over, instead moving to stand up from the sofa where he was previously sat beside Harry. The boy listened to him pacing around the room wordlessly, the silence dragging on as he listened out for his shaky exhales of air. He only turned when the young boy called his name hesitantly, voice catching halfway through the call of his name.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry - could you tell me what happened? I think... I think I should know? And I'm sorry that I don't,"

He heard Louis' shaky breathing before once again the faux leather material of sofa dipped beside him, and a warm presence sat down. He shifted a little when he felt the man moving closer, a gentle hand settling on his thigh and moving him gently so that he was perched on his lap.

One of his hands was lifted in Louis' own as he curled his other arm around his neck to hold himself upright. He felt the man's other hand reaching forward to tug Harry's sweater sleeve back down from where it was bunched around his elbow. 

"First of all, you promised," He said in a quiet voice, making Harry flush bright and duck his head away from his prying eyes. "No, come on. Darling, don't turn away. I don't want you to do it, I don't want you hurting yourself. Is that okay?"

"Okay..." Harry hesitated, slowly blinking as he didn't bother raising his head. 

"No - Harry, I'm being serious. I really need you to stop doing that. I understand that you're irritated, but God, if you could see your arm right now. You can't hide it from me, and I know you try to. It bruises, did you know that?"

"...I didn't," The young boy swallowed thickly, understanding how pathetic he must look to Louis. He wasn't entirely too sure what bruising even meant but it didn't sound good from the man's stern tone, the slight edge of panic to his voice. "Is it bad?"

"It's bad," The other confirmed, trailing one hand away from his fingers and up his arm, fingers moving under his sleeve and pressing down on his skin the tiniest bit. Even the small pressure made Harry's arm ache, and he sighed softly.

"Please? If not for yourself, then for me. I'd love nothing more than for you to stop that."

"I will," Harry swallowed past the thickness in his throat, nodding his head a little when he felt Louis releasing his breath in relief. "I'm really sorry. It's - I get nervous, sometimes. And it just makes me feel more real,"

"I understand, I do," Louis quickly told him, before once again taking his hands in his own, letting the boy rest his head on his shoulder. He brushed his hand down the boy's spine, breathing him in. "Could you tell me when you feel like that? I'll be there for you, instead of you hurting yourself. When I can't be there or you want to deal with it yourself, you're going to have to find another way, is that alright? We can look it up for you. No more pinching though, yeah, sweetheart?"

"Yeah," The boy agreed with a small nod of his head, leaning forward into Louis' embrace and letting the man hold him for a few long minutes. 

"I love you," He reminded him, before moving over so Harry was more comfortable in his arms. "So - that was Liam calling,"

"What did he say?"

"He said they found Zayn," 

It felt like someone had lifted a thick, heavy weight off Harry's heart. His blood rushed, heart beating a little faster as he took the words in. The past week they had all lived in stress, with Louis going out for a bit of a search everyday after work, Harry staying at the flat, hopelessly waiting for the sound of the doorbell. He could only imagine how Liam must feel. If Louis had disappeared like that, Harry would probably completely close in on himself, which was why he deeply admired Liam for being so patient. 

"That's really great!" Harry piped up, only pausing when he realized Louis didn't seem as overjoyed as he. "Right?"

"Well - yeah. Uh. He's in hospital," The man said hesitantly, making the young boy's breath catch in his throat. He waited for a few seconds to see if Louis would add anything, perhaps even laugh, say - just kidding, darling, a bit of a joke. Zayn's fine, he's right across the hall. Want to go see him? But he didn't. The silence of the room grew thicker, especially when he cleared his throat. 

"He's in hospital?" Harry echoed in a small voice, feeling his lover's arms tighten around him in the slightest. "What for? Do you know?"

"No," He mumbled. Just through his thick voice, the blind boy could tell that it wasn't alright. He could make out the panic in his words, worried tone. "Liam wouldn't say. We can see them but they only let visitors till' four...so..."

"What time is it?" 

"Just gone twelve. Listen, darling, we don't have to-"

Harry struggled a little in his arms, shifting to sit up properly. He pulled away from the strong hold, shaking his head and listening intensely to Louis' loud breathing. He could feel how tense Louis was where he sat on him, fingers tightening where he held onto his shirt. "I want to, please."

When the man didn't reply, he reached out to gently brush his fingertips over his face, tracing his jaw. He touched his cheeks where stubble dusted the smooth skin before trailing his fingers up to his forehead and brushing a few stray hairs off his face.

"He's your best friend," He spoke in a quiet voice, feeling Louis tremble a little under his touch. With a gentle hand, he brushed his fingers through his hair, letting his fringe fall to the side. "You'll make him happy. And he'll make you happy,"

"Yeah," Louis muttered, his voice wavering a little on the small word when he felt Harry's hands slip out of his hair and down to his shoulders, the boy rubbing his palms down his arms and eventually taking his hands in his own. 

"Maybe I won't see him but you will - and that's all that matters,"

"Yeah," He repeated, voice smaller. 

"Alright, Lou? You think you're alright to drive?"

"Yeah, fine," He said, hesitating a little before letting Harry pull away from him. 

"What if it's something really bad? I don't think I could-"

"Don't think!" The young boy supplied helpfully, making Louis sigh softly. 

"Don't. I'm sure he's fine,"

With that thought in mind, they hoped for the best. 

-

As soon as they took the first hesitant step into the spacious room that smelt heavily of disinfectant and the thick smell of simply hospital hanging in the air around them, making Harry choke a little on his own breath. 

He knew that when Louis stopped walking and his hand went limp in his own, it wasn't because he realised Harry was having problems breathing. 

"Hey, lads," Liam's soft voice startled the blind boy out of his trance, making his eyes flutter open. He stared forward into the little dot of light somewhere amongst the darkness, hoping that he was at least looking somewhere where Liam was. 

"Hi," He squeaked out, a little scared of what was going on around him. With Louis' limp hold and Liam's voice thick with worry, he knew that it wasn't too good. Frustrated with himself and the fact that he wasn't able to see what was happening, he reluctantly pulled away from Louis completely, hanging his head in shame a little as he took a slow step away. 

"Come here," The man instantly said, making him freeze. Why was Louis commanding him? His voice had never sounded so stern before, and he wasn't sure what to do. When he didn't move, he heard Louis make a small noise of frustration. "Harry, come here,"

Terrified, he turned a little on his heel. He wasn't too sure where Louis was now that his mind was lost, forgetting to count the steps he took when he moved away. To his relief, his hand was grabbed in someone else's before he could worry anymore. 

"Did you hear? Don't do that. Hold onto my hand," He continued, his hand stiff as he held onto Harry's own tightly. 

"Lou?" He mumbled out questioningly, to which he was pulled forward in the slightest bit. "Could you - could you not do that, please? I'm going to fall,"

"You won't fall," He quickly replied. "I won't ever let you fucking fall. Hold on tight. You're holding on? Come on, we're going forward,"

Harry didn't like this. He didn't like it at all, the man's commanding tone and Liam keeping completely quiet as his friend pushed Harry around the room. When he followed Louis in his steps towards where he guessed Liam was, he felt a tremble run throughout his body, stumbling a little, feeling the right side of his body freezing a little.

"Louis - you need to-" The other boy's voice finally spoke up, to which the man made another frustrated noise. 

"I don't need to do anything, do you understand? I don't ever want anything like this to happen to Harry and I'll make sure of it," 

The young boy felt his eyes itching and his hand aching where Louis was still holding onto it with all his worth. He didn't know what was happening - where was Zayn? Why was his boyfriend acting so strange?

"Lou," He mumbled, tone soft. Almost like a switch, he felt the tight grip on his hand loosen, a shaky breath hitting his face. 

He grunted in surprise when he was suddenly enveloped by strong arms, Louis holding him tightly against his own body. Not knowing what to do with his own limbs, he simply pulled his arms out from where they were trapped between their bodies, looping them around Louis' middle and sighing in content when the man pressed a kiss to his jaw. 

"I love you," He breathed into Harry's skin, a silent promise. "I love you so much, darling. I won't let anybody hurt you, yeah? Nobody will do this to you. You're safe,"

Harry simply held onto him tighter, swaying a little where he stood as his mind raced. Who hurt who? Why would he need to be safe, or why would he not be safe?

"Cute," A croaky voice echoed across the room, making the blind boy freeze. He felt his chest tighten at the familiar speech, his lips parting in surprise. 

When he felt Louis giving him one small squeeze before moving away, he simply followed, one hand outstretched in front of him in case he bumped into something. He was sure knocking over a tray of medical equipment of something of the sort wouldn't be the best thing to happen in this situation. 

He could hear Louis' hushed voice when the man rushed to the side of the hospital bed, could hear Zayn laughing quietly. When he heard his name being mentioned, he raised his head a little and tried to listen to the conversation, kneeling down beside the bed where he knew Louis was.

He jumped in surprise when he felt a hand on his shoulder, a sharp breath leaving his body as he turned towards the person touching him.

"H," The gentle voice asked, hesitating briefly. "Could I talk to you? Just you. If that's alright?"

Harry bit into his lip, chewing on it when he heard Louis grunt a little beside him, sure that the older man would quickly disagree, especially after the small scene he had just pulled in front of the two. To his surprise, the man only squeezed his shoulder before standing up and leaving, the door clicking shut behind him and Liam.

"Are you okay?" Harry questioned quietly when the boy didn't speak, a small chuckle leaving Zayn's lips at his question. 

"The real question, is are you alright? How have you been feeling?"

The young boy felt his face twist into a look of confusion, his eyebrows furrowing a little at the words. Why would he not be?

"I'm fine - thank you? If I could ask... why?"

"You don't know," 

Harry sighed in frustration, shifting on the floor where he felt the hard marble floor against his bare knees peeking out through the slits in his skinny jeans that Louis had presented to him proudly. He became aware of everything so suddenly, the cane tucked into his back pocket and the black glasses tucked up into his hair.

"You don't know?" Zayn laughed once again, making Harry shudder at the noise. "You don't! I can't believe it. The twat didn't think to tell you?"

"Who? Tell me what?"

"They thought I was you," The boy mumbled, pausing a little before reaching out and brushing his fingers over Harry's arm. His touch trailed under the boy's woolen cardigan, making him shudder a little. "Funny, huh?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Harry answered truthfully, voice quiet. "I have no idea who you're talking about. But I'm glad you're okay, you know? Louis really-"

"This isn't about Louis, it's about you," He interrupted him, making Harry frown in frustration. Was something wrong with the boy? He had no idea what he was speaking about, and he was not making himself clear in any way. "I - I don't know, Harry, and they won't believe me if I say anything. I just want you to look out for yourself, okay?"

"Yeah, alright," The young boy promised, still slightly confused. He took Zayn's satisfied sigh as a sign that he was done with his 'speech', and so he turned away, standing up and brushing off his knees. "Should I go and get Liam?"

"If you'd like," 

As he stepped out of the room, he struggled a little as he pulled the cane out of his back pocket with one hand, attempting to pull his dark glasses down onto his nose at the same time. When he was didn't succeed with the glasses but successfully opened up his cane, he steadied himself with a hand against the cold tile of the wall, fingers brushing over each imperfection as he trailed down the hallway.

"You alright? Harry, right?" He heard a voice speak up, a voice he could somewhat recognise. He lifted his head, squinting his eyes against the harsh artificial light he could feel on his face. "It's me, Jordan, if you remember. What are you doing?"

"Looking... for Louis," He answered slowly, feeling his eyebrows furrow. The man laughed softly, a tone too high.

"Good luck with looking, mate," 

The young boy swallowed thickly. He knew - for fucks sake, it was a figure of speech. 

"You know, I dealt with a lot of disabilities like blindness," The man added, making Harry flinch. Ever since having a breakdown over Louis calling it a disability he had grown to hate the word, and hated whenever anybody used it to describe what was a part of him. "If you'd like, I could see what can be done? Surely, you'd like to see?"

That was the moment when the truth hit Harry, making him open his eyes. He exhaled a long breath, his chest tightening, his legs threatening to give out under his weight. And he knew - he knew everything.


	33. 32

The silence of the room grew heavy around them as the young boy breathed in heavily, the scent of late night cooking and fresh air blowing in through the window lingering around them. His body felt on edge, feeling every single movement around him as he embraced the attention Louis was giving him.

One of the man's arms was lying gently across his hip, fingertips tracing where his shirt had ridden up to expose milky soft skin, gentle and caring in his movements. His other hand was massaging his shoulder a little more forcefully, making soft sounds slip past his lips in satisfaction.

"Calm down, angel," Louis had whispered to him as he draped himself across the bed, tucking Harry into his side. And that's where they lay now, wrapped up in each other, the young boy's muscles tense as he kept his gaze fixed above them, most likely blindly glancing at the ceiling.

He had attempted to tell Louis everything that raced through his mind, expressing it with stuttered words and shaky hands but he couldn't, getting too worked up. He was confused, and he was confusing everyone around him, drowning in frustration.

"If I understood correctly," Louis started, hesitating briefly on the words he carefully chose. Harry shifted a little beside him, not moving his eyes but blinking a few times. "You think somebody hurt Zayn on purpose?"

"I know somebody's hurt Zayn on purpose," Harry muttered in response, the movement on the man's hand wavering a little before continuing as before. The blind boy could feel his breath hitting the nude skin of his shoulder, the man clearly thinking over his words. "He told me,"

"He told you? Zayn told you? What did he tell you specifically, sweetheart?"

Harry paused a little, thinking back to the boy in the hospital. "He told me to be careful. And that they thought he was me,"

"They who?"

"I don't know, he didn't tell me. But I have quite a fair idea," 

The arm that was around his waist now slipped upwards, hand tracing under his shirt. He felt Louis' gentle fingers brush over the soft skin of his tummy, up to his chest, making him suck in a quick breath.

"You know your friend... Jordan?"

Louis splayed his hand across his chest, delicate as to not hurt him in any way. Harry was thankful.

"I do,"

"I think... I don't think he likes me very much."

Louis let out a breathy laugh, most likely raising one of his eyebrows as he always would when surprised, the boy feeling the rise and fall of his shoulders in a small shrug. "You think he's jealous? That I've got a beautiful boy all to myself?"

Harry felt his face growing warm at the man's words, a flush colouring his skin with no doubt. 

"Is that it? You think Jordan's a little jealous? Of course he would be, you're amazing,"

The boy shook his head despite feeling warm at the admiration coming from the other. "No - no, I think he doesn't want me here very much? Like... you. He wants you,"

He heard the man chuckle, clearly amused. "I don't think that's the case, baby. We had some rough times, don't think he'd want to crawl back to me. Either way, I'm all yours now. I would never - you know I wouldn't, right? I would never be unfaithful to you. You can trust me on that,"

"I do," The boy muttered, finally letting his eyes flutter shut as a soft sigh slipped past his lips. "Like - I obviously can't see, and you could be literally with somebody else right in front of me and I wouldn't know but... that applies to everyone, right? And I trust you. I know you wouldn't. It's not that, it's just that... I think he still wants you,"

"Well I don't want him," Louis replied. The young boy could tell that the man was frowning, face twisted into a frustrated expression, so he reached with one of his hands to take Louis' hand in his own, squeezing it tight. "I don't see the problem,"

"I think... Zayn? I think that was Jordan who did... that to him,"

From having a chat with Louis earlier he now knew that nothing too bad happened to the boy. He was hospitalized for the night because he was dehydrated and they were checking out his injuries, but there weren't many. He could recall skateboarding, falling into the pavement. He could recall someone punching him in his eye, but nothing past that. He wasn't seriously hurt, only bruised up from the outside and a bit of twitch in his eye where he was punched, the skin around it a pale purple from what Harry had heard.

"No way," The older man shook his head beside him, making the young boy sigh in resignation. "He wouldn't, I've known him for a bloody long time. He likes getting what he wants but he wouldn't take it to... extremes, you know?"

"He wants to impress you,"

"Harry..."

"He told me he wants to fix my eyes," Harry swallowed thick past the gulp in his throat, blinking his eyes shut as he shifted onto his side, facing the man beside him who had frozen a little. "He wants to fix the fact that I'm blind. And he called it a disability - you know. I hate it. Which is why I think he wants to do it to impress you because there is no way for surgery to make my eyes work. He wants to make you think he's caring for something like that but. My eyes.They don't work - they just don't, and I want to accept that. It's hard with people like him constantly reminding me that it's a fault,"

"It's not a fault," Louis croaked out, reaching out to wrap both of his arms around the boy, letting him tuck his head into his chest. Harry felt his hand brushing down his spine, his lips pressing to the top of his head. "I love you for who you are. I'm not here for your looks or your senses, I'm here for the fact that you're a great person. I love that you have such a big heart with an unreal amount of love inside of it. I don't mind the fact that you're the shyest boy I have ever met, because you're the most amazing boy you have ever met. You're so, so brave, looking past the fact that you don't see and continuing with your life as normal. I admire that, and others should too, and I'm more than proud of you. It's not a fault, yeah?"

"Yeah," Harry muttered into his chest, hand gripping onto the soft material of his cotton shirt tightly as he blinked his eyes open. He stared into the dark, focusing on a little speckle of something bright in one corner. "Could you just... can we do something about it? I'm pretty sure I'm right, not being vain. Do you believe me?"

When Louis didn't reply straight away but hesitated a little, Harry grunted in frustration. Of course. 

He pulled away from the man, turning onto his other side after feeling out the bed beside him, hands brushing over the wall. He felt pathetic, not only with the fact that he couldn't even see where he was lying down but with the fact that his own boyfriend didn't believe his words. 

That late January evening was the first night Harry fell to sleep with tears in his eyes without the comfort of his own past home, a pillow tucked into his side instead of a warmth of another body next to him. His heart hurt when he realized that the man wasn't even trying to do anything, instead letting Harry curl up on his own side of the bed, pressed close to the wall.

-

So, Harry thought that Jordan was out to get him. Since when did Louis' life become like a teenage drama film? It all seemed so unrealistic with someone trying to get in the way of him and Harry, something that seemed like it definitely shouldn't be happening.

He watched in silence as his boy ate lunch, carefully picking through lettuce leaves in his salad and chewing slowly on a piece of grilled chicken, his fingers drumming on the marble table top. He himself was carelessly scrolling through his phone, and he took a small moment to wonder how Harry took up his time with not being able to see. When he ate he always flipped through his phone without aim, he couldn't imagine doing simple tasks like eating without something to do at the same time. 

He let his gaze flick back to the touch screen of the device, before once again glancing back up at the boy. He looked out of place today, hair not falling down his shoulders gracefully but instead, sticking up and around his head. His skin was tinted a dark colour under his eyes, his lips bitten raw. The boy he was seeing didn't match up with the Harry he knew, the shaky hands and the sad expression not suiting him at all. 

"You alright?" He let himself ask. The boy hadn't spoken to him at all today, waking up late and feeling his way across the house on his own. 

"I'm fine," He heard him swallow thick, looking up in surprise when he heard the scrape of the ceramic plate against the counter top. Harry had pushed away the remainder of the salad, instead lifting the glass of some sort of fresh juice to his lips, taking a long drink out of it. 

Just as the man opened his lips to speak, he was interrupted by the tone of his phone, the device giving off a weak vibration in his hands, making him glance down at it. 

There was a new message, from Jordan himself. He felt a little guilty opening it, as though he was hiding something from the oblivious Harry who simply sipped at his juice, his eyes fixed on the table in front of him. 

'Hey Lou, your lad did a runner from me yesterday, wanted to know if alls o.k. ? Need to catch up soon got something to offer you'

He frowned a little at the text message, his eyebrows furrowing as he read it over a second time.

'Yeah mate hi !! Need to grab a beer or something H is fine thanks. What's on your mind ??'

He placed the phone back down on the flat surface in front of him, once again going back to watching his boy. He glass was now only half full, yet his eyes still reflected the same sadness as they had moments ago. He felt a small tug at his heart, feeling some sort of guilt. 

"Darling..." He started, pausing when he noticed the young boy perking up a little at the sound of his voice, slightly lifting his head to show that he was listening but not to come off as too eager to hear what he had to say, which he figured was rather fair. "Say I believed you. What makes you think that he wants to impress me?"

"He wants to show that he can do anything to make you happy," Harry instantly replied, as though he had been thinking over his answer for a long time. He didn't lift his head, his gaze still on the marble counter. "And by that he wants to do the impossible and fix me. I don't need fixing."

"You don't need fixing," Louis agreed, nodding a little along with the boy's words. "Is there harm in trying, though?"

"I don't think you understand," Harry replied, hurt evident in his voice. "It's impossible. By that I mean it's something that cannot happen, cannot be done. It's been almost twenty years, Louis. I'm not a fool. There's no surgery, there's no magical medication. I'm stuck with this whether I like it or not and frankly, if I'm going to have people who cannot handle it in my life then I might as well let them leave,"

"I can handle it," Louis answered, sighing a little. He couldn't help but to lean across the table, taking the boy's hands in his own, beaming when he didn't pull back. "And I'm not leaving. Unless you want me to. I would do anything for you, sweetheart, no matter how much it would pain me. I love you, yeah?"

"I love you..." Harry mumbled back, his eyelashes fluttering a little as he blinked. "I just wish you would believe what I'm trying to say,"

"And if I did? What would we do about it? Do you want me to tell him to fuck off?"

Harry laughed softly, the smile not quite reaching his eyes but it was still there nevertheless. He simply shook his head, only jumping a little at the tone of Louis' mobile phone signalizing yet another new message.

"Who you talking to?" The young boy asked from opposite him, eyes meeting Louis' own when he glanced up. He looked tired, his eyes a soft forest green as he blinked sleepily. "Should I start getting worried?"

The man went to shake his head before stopping himself at the last minute, nudging Harry's leg with his foot under the counter as he pulled his messages up, bringing the small device up to his face for closer inspection.

"Just me mum," He lied smoothly, feeling his heart grow a little heavy at the boy's shy smile opposite him. Everyone lied once in a while, right?

"How is she? Will they come down? With the babies?"

Louis laughed nervously, reaching upwards to brush his hand through his hair, pushing the fringe back as he quickly read the text across his screen.

'Been working with some of the optical department, might wnna offer your lad a deal maybe get his sight back? Know that would make you well happy yeh? Call me later yeah pal x'

Upon reading it, he instantly realised that what Harry was saying was in fact happening. He couldn't gain his sight back when he'd never had it in the first place.

When he glanced up at the boy once again, his mouth dry, he felt something in his stomach flutter towards him. And he knew he would have to protect him no matter what - because Harry was only this young, vulnerable boy who despite being as independent as he could be, really needed the support of another.

And Louis promised himself he would always be that another.


	34. 33

Louis called Jordan out as soon as he saw him.

After long, restless nights of Harry whispering to him about what he was most afraid of, trembling in his arms in fear of something he should feel safe from, he could no longer handle it. The more the young boy told him, the more he believed him, realizing that he was mistaken when he thought his friend was not to blame.

"I can't say I know what you're talking about," The deep voice replied, the sound echoing through Louis' mind. Frustrated, the man ran a hand down his face with a deep sigh slipping past his lips. He tilted his body to the side, leaning carefully against the door frame.

"You do know what I'm talking about perfectly well, mate," Louis muttered, shaking his head in slight disbelief as he eyed the man up and down. "Look - whatever you're trying to achieve, it's not working,"

"I'm not doing anything," Jordan raised one eyebrow, his dark eyes seeming to shine with concern. Louis didn't let himself be fooled, not this time. "I promise? You're a good pal, I wouldn't do anything to hurt you,"

"You do know it's not just me? It's me and it's Harry, we're sticking together. I also have other people in my life. I don't want you thinking about me, I want you to simply excuse yourself out of my life,"

"Alright..." The man seemed to hesitate as he shifted on his feet, his eyes scanning up and down Louis' body. "You're just going to dismiss me like that? We've known each other for years. And you're just going to forget that, all because you have a new boy toy?"

"Don't call him that," The man warned, his eyes narrowing as he stared the other down. "Just because you can't seem to settle down in life doesn't mean others aren't allowed to. I love Harry. Love him - I know that's a feeling you're incapable of, which only suggests you should do one thing."

"What?"

"Leave us alone," Louis finished, mentally shooting himself a quick smile. Man, if his boy had heard that. He was quite proud of himself, especially when he saw the quick look of surprise flash across the man's face, quickly being masked away by his blank, fake expression.

"If that's what you want," Jordan sighed, shaking his head to himself. A stray strand of dark hair fell onto his forehead, into his eyes. "I would just like you to know that I would never hurt anyone. Not with my own hands, anyway,"

Before Louis had the chance to jump at him with the anger building up inside, the man had slipped out of the front door, disappearing down the marble steps leading downstairs from their flat. He huffed out under his breath, squeezing his eyes shut as he pushed the door closed, sighing at the click of the lock.

He simply allowed himself to stand in the same place for a few long moments, socked feet steady on the wooden floor. He blinked down at the floor boards, chewing on his bottom lip in an illusion of deep thought, when really, his mind was running blank.

 

-

 

"Louis!"

The loud voice echoing through the flat made the man shift a little where he was curled into the corner of the sofa. He felt his muscles twitch as someone called his name out once again, but his mind wasn't fully awake and so he kept his eyes shut, letting only a small mutter escape his lips as he turned his head to push his face further into one of the cushions.

"Lou-ee!" The voice seemed closer now, and the man could hear shuffling just outside of the living room door. "Are you home?"

Despite trying his best to let out some noise to confirm that yes, he was, instead he uselessly huffed before falling into light slumber once again.

The next time he was pulled out of his sleep was mere minutes later, when a hesitant hand was stroking through his hair, gentle. He moved away a little in surprise, before opening his eyes and letting out a sigh of relief at the sight.

Harry was perched on the very edge of the sofa, his long legs stretched out in front of him. He held a bag in one hand, had the other in Louis' hair, and his white cane was carelessly shoved into his pocket. The man let his eyes trail over the boy's hair, pulled back into a ponytail, a few loose strands curling around his face.

Louis quickly let his eyes take in the rest of boy's face, the shy smile on his lips and the soft flush across his cheeks. His gaze was focused above the man's head, his eyes that one bit more green than usual. He knew something was definitely not normal just from these things, but before he spoke out to inform the boy that he's awake, Harry shifted hesitantly.

He watched the boy carefully place the bag on the floor, tugging his cane out of his pocket and throwing it so that it landed on top of the bag. He then carefully pulled himself up onto the sofa, moving over so that his legs were on either side of Louis', before sitting himself down right on the man's lap.

Louis blinked up in surprise as the boy made himself comfortable on his hips, but he couldn't complain. The weight of the boy made him feel closer to him, and he reached out to touch his hips.

Harry's shy smile grew into a confident grin when he felt the man's hands on his hips and he leaned forward, draping himself across his chest before peppering Louis' face with small kisses.

"Hey - hey baby," He laughed when the boy finally pulled back, blinking his eyes shut as his smile remained. He leaned forward to catch his lips in a long kiss, only pulling away when his lungs demanded oxygen. "You surprised me quite a bit,"

"Hi," The boy replied instead, dragging out the vowel before giggling a little, his eyes scrunching up in the corners.

Louis felt the corners of his lips curling upwards at the sight of the happy boy, and so he pulled him down to once again drape over him, tucking his head into his shoulder. He let his hand trail down his back, feeling his spine with his fingertips before slipping his hand under his shirt, his skin warm beneath his touch.

"Someone's happy today," He trailed off, pulling his head back and using his spare hand to quickly brush his fringe from his eyes, fixing his gaze on the boy draped over him. "You wanna share any good news?"

The boy laughed once again, blinking his eyes open. They were still as bright as ever, and it still took Louis by surprise that they did not, in fact, work. It was the strangest thing to be looking into the boy's eyes so openly, and yet not being seen back.

"Been to the doctor," He drew out, his grin once again fading into the shy smile that he often had. He ducked his head, taking in a deep breath. "Don't freak, please?"

"Won't," Louis promised, although he felt his chest tighten.

"Uh," He started, pushing himself off the man. Instead, he propped himself up on his elbow as he kept his body draped over him, and he took in a deep breath. "They're carrying out some genetic testing at... Iowa University. Erm - some guy called Edwin Stone? Basically, they, uh. They're studying LCA,"

Louis nodded slowly as he took in this information. He knew the details about the boy's illness, knew that Leber's congenital amaurosis was something that they were trying to find a cure to through genetic testing. They both knew this - so why exactly was the boy telling him this?

"He...uh. He contacted my doctor..."

"Harry," Louis interrupted him in alarm. He knew where the boy was going, but he continued either way.

"He asked if they could try gene therapy on the RPE65 gene. It's-"

"You're not going to be tested on," Louis stopped him mid-sentence, his voice growing stern. He sure as hell wasn't going to let Harry go through with this, even if it was the boy's own decision. It would be a bad decision. He didn't even know the risks, but he knew - surely, nothing good can come out from being somebody's personal guinea pig. When he saw the boy's smile fade completely and a slight look of fear grow over his features, he quickly leaned forward to take his face in his hands. "They're not testing on you, Harry. You can't do that,"

The boy wiggled his head free from his hold, shaking it in disagreement. "No - no, please, listen. It worked before. People could actually start seeing. Can you imagine that? If I could see? It would make things so much easier for us-"

"I don't need you to see to be happy with you! And you don't need to see to be happy, surely?"

Harry hesitated, and Louis watched his throat bob as he swallowed.

"I would be happier. I know it's something that may seem silly to you but it's all I ever wanted from life. This might be my only chance!"

"They're not testing on you. I'm not letting anyone cut your eyes open,"

"It's through laser! They don't cut anything!"

"Yeah, damn right they're not, not on my watch,"

Louis felt a headache start to form as he watched the boy's bottom lip tremble, a look of desperation on his face. His eyes weren't yet watering but he knew it would happen soon, so he let out a small sigh before leaning forward and brushing his fingers over the boy's closed eyes.

"What are the risks?" He asked instead, trying to keep his voice calm. He didn't receive a response for a long minute that seemed endless, before he was startled by a tearful sob.

He watched in surprise as the boy's body shook with the sheer force of his crying, loud, convulsive gasps slipping past the boy's lips as he attempted to crawl off Louis' body. He only broke down more when he slipped, almost falling to the floor.

Before he could do a runner, Louis quickly brought his thoughts back to earth, gathering the boy in his arms and sitting up fully, holding the trembling body to his chest tightly. He simply swayed a little as the boy weeped into his shirt until his throat was dry and his eyes shed all the tears they could.

It seemed like it was hours later when he finally silenced, his heart beat steadying and his erratic gasps subsiding. He didn't pull away from the man's chest, when he mumbled something quietly into his clothes.

"The risks are not being able to see,"

Before he could break down again, Louis choked back his own cry and instead leaned forward to kiss the boy.He tugged the boy's bottom lip between his own before licking into his mouth with delicacy. He kissed him softly, feeling his heart pour out through the simple action as he held him closely, feeling the warmth and the wetness of Harry's face from the tears on his own skin.

When he eventually pulled back, he glanced down at the boy's lips, having to cross his eyes a little at how close he was to him. Despite it being blurry, he could still make out his bruised lips, the small pout he had. He could make out the flush of his cheeks and the light dusting of freckles across his nose and despite believing that his previous love for the boy had already reached its' peak, in that very moment he had never felt such love for the boy as he had just then.

They sat in silence with their bodies pressed flush against each other and their foreheads together as they regained steady breathing. He could hear the soft thud of Harry's heart slowing down to its' normal pace and the gasps slipping from his lips slowly subsiding.

"I'm sorry," A soft croak pulled them out of the silence, making Louis shake his head slowly. "You know I haven't panicked like that in... a while. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's okay, baby. No need to apologize to me," The man muttered into his ear, brushing his lips over his soft skin before pressing a firm kiss to the side of his head. "You're alright. I'm sorry - that was my fault. Could we discuss this being a possibility in - er, the future?"

"Of course," Harry breathed out, nodding his head slowly.

That night, they didn't bother moving from the sofa. Louis simply lied with his boy tucked under his arm and a soft blanket draped over them. As Harry slept silently with his face pushed into his chest, the man reached over him to grab his mobile phone from the table. Keeping one arm wrapped around the young boy, he used his other hand to delete a certain number from his phone.

When his phone flashed him with Jordan: Deleted, he had exhaled a long breath of relief, his eyes trailing down to glance at the tangle of Harry's hair. He felt something flutter in his stomach, and he knew that he made the right choice.


	35. 34

"Potentially, the procedure could damage the nerves stimulating tears,"

Louis swallowed thickly. He kept his gaze locked down on his own shoes, the worn out vans seeming out of place in the spotlessly clean doctors' office, faded black contrasting with the immaculate white, and so he shuffled his feet uncomfortably as he fidgeted in his seat, intertwining the fingers of both of his hands in a somewhat nervous manner.

"It could also mean that the vision during night time could be worse, or even non-existent," The elderly doctor sitting opposite him explained in a calm voice as he flipped through a file of documents on the desk in front of him, keeping his eyes on the paper. "The sight could be completely lost or damaged when exposed to bright light, or low contrast,"

He felt himself nodding along to the man's words, the gulp in his throat growing heavier and thicker as he listened. He was listing all these things - and that Harry could lose his sight after the surgery when... well, the boy already didn't see. He couldn't understand. "What - what's the actual chance that it could be a success?"

The doctor hesitated briefly, before answering him with a small sigh. "Well - you see, Mr. Tomlinson, I cannot give you an actual figure. The testing is new technology and Harry would allow us to create an estimated figure of the success rate of this procedure,"

"So it's more of the case of needing volunteers for testing rather than doing it for the sake of correcting sight?" He questioned, finally glancing up and meeting the man's gaze, feeling his nervous feelings fade away into some kind of anger.

He thought of how young Harry was, how he definitely doesn't deserve to have to go through any of this. Of course, nobody does - but he just felt so close to the boy, ever since the moment he first saw him and realised that the boy couldn't see him back he knew that he didn't feel sorry for the boy, he felt sorry for taking his own perfect sight for granted and ever complaining about anything to do with his eyes when this perfect, perfect human walked the same Earth as him with eyes that did not see anything.

The man hesitated momentarily once again. "It's for him, mostly. Just imagine the outcome of the procedure if we succeed - wouldn't it be a great thing for him?"

"Of course," Louis agreed in a small voice with a matching small nod. "It's his decision. I just wanted to know more about what he could be potentially be agreeing to."'

"Absolutely. As you know, there's negatives that come along with it as they do with most procedures. But there's a big potential outcome," The doctor explained in a calm voice, shooting the man a reassuring smile that Louis returned gratefully.

"What about... what happens after?"

The doctor hummed a little, flipping through a booklet before looking up at him. "We won't know if it had worked until at least a week after. He would need to rest and not strain his sight so he's expected to wear glasses that will block any vision. It's not a long recovery time,"

Louis nodded in understanding, shifting a little in his chair and glancing down and shuffling his feet. He glared down at his worn out shoes, the black material ripped a little. His eyes trailed up to his ankle, glancing for a moment at the smiley face he had inked there that Zayn had once dared him to get, and he swallowed thickly.

"Okay. Alright - thanks. And this... this can happen anytime?"

"Yes, as soon as he agrees to it then we may proceed,"

Louis' mouth turned dry as he imagined it. It was so difficult to picture Harry's eyes looking back at him, for him to watch him back. He couldn't imagine coming home and seeing Harry curled in front of the television with his eyes glued to the screen. He couldn't imagine Harry watching the world go by through the car window. He couldn't imagine Harry's disappointment at seeing all the bad things in the world, he didn't want to see Harry see other people's pain and sadness.

But the boy can't be locked away from all bad things forever.

Once he had actually returned home that day to the sight of the young boy curled into himself in the corner of their couch with his eyes closed and with earphones tucked into his ears, he felt his heart melting a little, dripping away piece by piece just like his negative feelings. He purposely made a lot of noise upon entering the living room, bumping his hip into the coffee table and making a few pens roll off onto the hardwood floor. Out of the corner of his eye he watched Harry pull the headphones out in confusion, before blinking his eyes open with a content smile on his face.

"Hiya, Lou," He chirped, making the man grin back at him. He swung his jacket over one of the chairs at the dining table before crossing the room. Harry and him had grown used to this, him knowing that the young boy still flinched when he was pulled out of something he was doing by surprise. Instead, he began to use Harry's other senses, usually calling out his name or making any kind of noise he can to catch his attention without startling him.

He circled the couch, bending down a little to rub Harry's shoulders from where he stood behind him, the boy tilting his head to face him, squinting a little.

"How was work? You took a bit longer today,"

Louis swallowed thickly, nodding absentmindedly as one of his hands slipped into Harry's hair, gently massaging at the boy's scalp. "It was okay, darling. Nothing new."

A warm smile grew over Harry's features as he closed his eyes and hummed in content at the hand in his hair. "I made dinner, 't's in the kitchen,"

"Thanks, babe," The man coo'ed, bending down the one last bit to press his lips to the boy's forehead, leaving them there to linger for a bit longer than necessary before pulling away. "Love you,"

"Love you too," Harry mumbled with a satisfied sigh before turning back around and pulling the iPod out from between two cushions after following the earphone cable with his fingers. Louis spared himself a quick glance at what the boy was listening to, grimacing a little when he scrunched up his nose in confusion, once again finding that Harry was listening to a band he had never heard of.

Just as he had stepped out of the room, he felt an arm hooking through his elbow, a gentle hand on his hip. "I'll heat it up, don't worry about it,"

Louis watched the boy with adoration, his whole chest feeling warm as he shuffled past him and into the hallway. He trailed his eyes up the boy's endless bare legs, a long worn-out shirt that once belonged to Louis hanging off his shoulders and down to his thighs. He also took a moment to admire the boy's thighs and hips, perfect and - wow, those would be great to squeeze. Or to wrap around his neck. Or to just touch. Or suck on the skin and leave a mark and - he really needs to calm down before his own legs give out under him.

As if Harry knew, he swung his hips a little, giggling softly as he stopped at the kitchen doorway, leaning back against the door and throwing Louis a sightless glance over his shoulder.

"God, Harry," The man huffed, quickly crossing the hallway to follow him into the kitchen. Swiftly, he crowded up against him to pin him against one of the counters, his body pressed tightly along Harry's back. The young boy gasped in surprise before laughing a little, leaning back against him and tilting his head back for a kiss. "You little tease,"

Seeking revenge, Louis himself leaned forward and instead pressing his lips to the boy's, he nibbled at his neck, biting into the soft skin, at which the other let out another gasp, arching back against him.

"Who's the tease now," Harry mumbled, his eyes fluttering shut as he arched back against him. He let out a sharp breath when Louis reached down with one of his hands to brush his fingers over the skin one of his thighs, making him shiver a little.

The man laughed lightly, making Harry let out a breathy giggle before instantly shutting his mouth when Louis pinched at his thigh with his fingers, instead letting out a small sigh.

"My pretty boy," The older muttered into his ear, making the boy flush a red colour, ducking his head so that a loose curl fell over his forehead and in front of his eyes. He steadied himself with both hands on the counter in front of him, once again arching back into Louis' warm body. "Doing this on purpose, aren't you? Know that you make me absolutely crazy,"

Harry let out a breathy moan as the man reached up to trail his hand under the stretched out shirt, splaying his hand over the skin of his tummy. "Yeah,"

"Of course," Louis mumbled, chuckling lightly as he gently squeezed the boy's hip, pressing his lips to his neck as he sucked a bruise where his shoulder began. He trailed his hand down his torso to where a small dusting of hair began, making the boy's legs wobble under his weight, him leaning further back.

"Love you, Lou," Harry mumbled, his eyelashes fluttering and his chest aching but he couldn't bring himself to care with Louis panting against his neck and a fuzzy feeling in his stomach.

"You too, babe," He mumbled into his ear, finally pulling back and giving the boy space until the boy turned, his face flushed and his lips bitten raw.

"I - uh, I'll.." He stammered out, moving a little to the side and feeling out the counter. Louis knew that it always made him a little disoriented even from the slightest touch - he noticed that whenever he as little as touch his shoulder, his legs would wobble a little or he would lean into him. This time he blinked quickly with his eyebrows furrowed as he felt out the flat marble surface, his hands shaky. "I'll heat up the food?"

"I'll do that," Louis offered easily, stepping forward to take the boy's face in his hands and kissing the tip of his nose, making him breathe out a small laugh. "I want to talk to you while we eat, if that's okay?"

"Yeah," Harry nodded, before frowning a little. His fingers twitched as he reached up to press his hand to Louis' chest, splaying his fingers open. "Um - nothing bad?"

"Nothing bad," The man promised, his heart warming at the boy's smile. "You wanna get the drinks? Meet you in the big room,"

It was almost half an hour later when the two were sat across from each other in the living room, ankles hooked over one another's under the table as they ate in silence, waiting for the first to speak up.

"So," Louis began, making Harry perk up a bit and listen as he rose his head to show that he was paying attention. "I was thinking a lot about... the surgery,"

"You were," The boy breathed out softly, his eyelashes fluttering as he opened his eyes, gaze blindly meeting Louis'.

"It's all your choice, baby. I - uh, I looked into it, a bit. Turns out it's not one that would seem like it's from my worst nightmares and if going forward with it is what you want then... then that's what I would really want, too,"

Without saying anything, Harry made a soft noise and instantly moved forward to lean across the table, wrapping both of his arms around Louis' shoulders and laughing a little. "Oh, my God. I'm so glad,"

Despite him promising himself he wouldn't cry, he could feel tears pinching at his eyes as he laughed along with his boy. Leaving the half-eaten food, he moved around the table and threw his arms around the boy, squeezing him tightly and pulling him in as close as possible, pressing his lips to the side of his head.

"My darling," He muttered into the mess of locks on Harry's head, making the boy choke back a sob - of joy, he would hope.

"I'll see you," The boy replied in a small voice, breathing unsteady as he laughed softly. "I will finally see you, and it will all be okay."


	36. 35

The hospital room smelt strongly of disinfectant and the strong, artificial smell of lemon. The window was pushed open and the curtain blew around in the wind, the net slamming against the thick glass.

Queen Mary Hospital was located in central London, not too far away from where they lived. After arriving there at four in the morning as per doctor's request, the day had dragged on forever until the sun setting and sending the sky into a meltdown of colours was visible through the window.

Inside, Louis sat on one of the hard plastic chairs, his legs crossed at the ankle and his nails digging into his palms where he had curled his hands into tight fists. His eyes were fixed on the wall above the empty bed, unblinking and himself as silent as the night sky on a rainy day.

He could feel one of his legs bouncing up and down in a nervous manner. The silence of the room was slowly killing him, pulling all his energy out of him as he held his breath in anticipation. He wasn't sure what was currently happening and he had been sitting in the same chair for over two hours; he couldn't tell whether he needed a drink or anything to eat because he simply felt empty inside, his mouth as dry as his throat.

No one had spoken to him either, a nurse only coming in twice to check up on the room and then another to make the bed, draping a white sheet over it. They never asked him to leave the room, not even once, just eyeing him and whispering amongst themselves.

Louis knew that his boyfriend's procedure was quite a large deal, especially in their small local hospital. They had brought out two of England's best optical doctors along with a few of the scientists from across the world who had been studying the procedure to carry it out on Harry.

Harry. The man couldn't imagine how the boy was feeling, what they were doing right now. He was assured that his boy was being put in best hands and that nothing could go wrong during the surgery but he couldn't help but wonder about everything he was warned about. He knew it could pay a major price on Harry's psychological state especially if it did turn out to be a success, and he knew that it could impact the boy's other senses. He couldn't help but fear the worst.

When he heard a loud voice call out in the distance, his gaze snapped to the door that was slightly open, a long rectangle of light reflecting on the marble floor from the artificial lighting in the hallway.

Upon the door being pushed open, he instantly stood from his seat, wiping his palms on his jeans. They felt tighter than usual, the black material hugging his legs and feeling like his legs would give out under his body. He cleared his throat and took one step forward when he saw a doctor step in, followed by two nurses.

"Mr. Tomlinson," The doctor greeted him with an outstretched hand and a tight-lipped smile which Louis returned, shaking his hand quickly before pulling back. "It's good to see you here,"

"How is he?" The man instantly skipped all greetings and asked, making the doctor smile a little more genuinely.

"Perfectly alright. He'll be right out, and as soon as the anaesthetic wears off he'll be as right as rain, although not able to open his eyes and perhaps a little... slow, if you'd like. We would like to ask you to not stay any longer than eleven which is stretching an hour past visiting times, as well as urge Mr. Styles to keep his eyes shut at all times "

"Of course," Louis breathed out, nodding a little. "Definitely. Yes,"

His mind was already racing at the doctor's mention of the young boy, making everything feel far more real.

Just as one of the nurses turned to him to speak, the door was once again pushed open as a wheelchair was pushed into the room, his boy sat down with his expression peaceful, and his head tilted to the side.

Louis didn't speak as he watched the nurse help the boy off the wheelchair and into the hospital bed, Harry looking like he was about to nod off, his head swung to the side. He didn't speak as he watched them tuck the boy into bed, him letting out a soft sigh as his head hit the pillow. He didn't speak as the doctor gave his shoulder a pat before ushering the others out of the room, leaving him with only his boy.

He stepped closer to the bed, keeping his footsteps quiet and careful as he kept his eyes trained on the boy. Harry's eyes were shut as though he was sleeping, his lips parted a little as he breathed softly, his hand twitching a little where it lay on his chest over the duvet.

"Babe," Louis started, his voice cracking at the end of the word as he sat himself down on the very edge of the bed, careful not to startle the boy. Despite his gentle movements, Harry jumped a little, letting out a little groan. "Sorry, sweetie. Sorry. How are you feeling?"

The boy hummed softly, his fingers twitching once again as he reached forward towards Louis with his hand, an unsure smile pulling at the corners of his lips when the man took his hand in his own, squeezing it tightly.

"You okay?" The older pushed in a hushed voice, rubbing his thumb over the boy's palm comfortingly, at which Harry attempted a small nod. The boy instantly winced at the sudden movement, his eyebrows furrowing in a frown.

"Okay," He replied softly, his tongue flicking out to lick over his lips, pink and plump and parted a little.

"Good, babe," Louis coo'ed, raising their tangled hands to his mouth and pressing a light kiss to Harry's knuckles, allowing his mouth to linger on the boy's skin. "I love you,"

When Harry didn't immediately reply, the man stiffened a little where he was sat, straightening his back with a soft cough. He felt a little uncomfortable, especially when the young boy pulled his hand back and clutched it to his own chest without any words.

"Do you need anything?" Louis drew out slowly, making sure to speak as clearly as possible. When the boy once again didn't reply, he leaned toward a little. "I can get you some water?"

"Could you..." He trailed off, breathing out softly. Louis couldn't help but admire how peaceful he looked, how he was still glowing despite having just come out of an operation. His hair was in loose ringlets curling past his shoulders and his eyes were shut, long eyelashes brushing over his cheekbones.

"What, darling? Water? You can't eat yet, just for a few hours, honey. You want to call your mum?"

"Can you just be quiet?" Harry grunted, making Louis freeze in place. He felt his hands shaking in his own lap when he withdrew them away from the boy, sitting down fully and staring down at the boy in disbelief. "My head really hurts - I can't..."

"Yeah, of course," Louis whispered, feeling his fingers trembling when he reached upwards to brush his fringe out of his eyes, pushing it away from his face. "I'm sorry," He added softly, the young boy nodding a little.

When neither of them spoke for a long time, Louis could feel himself growing more impatient where he sat. Surely, Harry had always claimed that he liked his energy because it contrasted so much with the young boy's calm attitude so much, making them complete each other, as he had said. He never realised that maybe he sometimes did cross the line, taking his enthusiasm too far.

Standing up from the chair with as little noise as possible, he could tell that Harry knew he had moved with the small tilt of the boy's head towards him. With just a soft sigh, he slipped out of the room, taking one last glance at the boy with the troubled expression.

"Louis?" He asked quietly, raising his voice with a flash of panic over his features when he heard the door shutting behind the man. Louis himself felt like the worst excuse for a boyfriend anyone could wish for.

The man trailed out of the room, figuring that the boy really did need some space to himself. He realised that ever since they had moved into one flat, there wasn't a moment when he wasn't by his side. Whether it was during the day, he always carefully kept his eye on the boy. When Harry's cooking, he always manages to press himself to his back and watch over his shoulder, making sure he didn't cut himself with the knife or something of the sort. He always followed him around like a stray dog, and even in the night Harry didn't get any privacy, Louis holding him close to himself under the duvet.

He sat down in one of the cold, plastic chairs in the waiting room and dropped his head to rest his forehead in his palms. God, how was he so blind, out of the two of them? His over-protectivity must have been affecting Harry, the boy with his blessed sweet soul too kind to say anything.

He was definitely treating Harry like his belonging. Which was not alright - not in his eyes, and definitely not in the eyes of others, if they knew.

"Everything alright, sir?"

He glanced up briefly to meet a young girl's gaze, quickly dropping it to rub a hand down his face with a groan.

"Water?"

"Thanks," He muttered, reaching out and taking the offered plastic cup of water from her hand. He noticed that her palms were small and soft, and her soft skin made him think of the young boy behind the closed door, which was most likely his problem.

"Girlfriend? Wife? Baby born?" She took a guess, a kind smile on her face. Louis couldn't help but groan.

He could only dream of having children one day. Already knowing he most likely will not be having any of his own, he could certainly imagine him and Harry adopting. He had always known the boy had a soft spot for children, always open and kind to them; just like with everybody else. He could just imagine how the boy would look with a baby tucked into his chest, a beautiful younger version of himself. He knew he would raise them so well, and - God.

What did he do to deserve him?

"Boyfriend," He supplied, looking up after a second to take in her face, her expression taken aback.

"My bad," She chuckled under her breath. He glanced over her immaculate white outfit, a name tag stating she is a night nurse. "Definitely not birth, then? Assume it would have made the news by now,"

Louis couldn't help but let out a surprised laugh at her humour, before dropping his gaze back to the marble floor. If only - God, what he would do to be able to give Harry his own children.

"My boyfriend is certainly not giving birth," He replied softly, shooting her a hesitant smile. "Although how scared I am for him might as well be the equivalent,"

She nodded, her brown ponytail bouncing on her head, before falling back to rest over her shoulder as it originally had. "And - is he alright?"

"I guess," He sighed, before nodding a little. He could feel his muscles growing heavy, his eyes droopy and his mind starting to run blank with the lack of sleep. "He - uh, he couldn't see,"

"Don't tell me - that's Harry Styles?" She asked, before raising a hand to her mouth. "Sorry, sir. I mean - surely not?"

"Yeah," He replied, flooded with confusion. "I'm not sure what you mean with-"

"You must be The Louis, then! I was preparing him for his eye scan this morning, boy couldn't stop speaking about a certain someone waiting for him in his room,"

He felt his face flushing as a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "Yeah, I guess that'd be me,"

"Lovely boy, he is. Don't tell, but you know - don't get them often, huh?"

Louis nodded, his mouth running dry as his chest grew more and more heavy with each breath. "He really is one of a kind,"

"Absolutely," She smiled at him one last time, kind and genuine before dropping her arms by her side and letting out a sigh. "I'll better get going, then. It was great to meet you, and it was a pleasure to work with Harry. I wish him a speedy recovery!"

With a small wave over her shoulder, she disappeared down the hallway, leaving Louis sat in the chair in silence. The hospital itself had grown eerily quiet, the dark only illuminated by the artificial lighting coming from the ceiling. He breathed in softly, checking the time and coming to the realisation that he will be leaving in an hour and he will be sleeping on his own tonight.

After some time, he stepped into the shop in the hospital to buy the first flowers he found and a hot coffee for himself, then stepping back into the boy's room, only to catch Harry asleep. He always took Louis' breath away with how ethereal he looked, and this time was no other. Despite him wearing nothing but a gown and the flush missing from his cheeks, he still looked angelic.

Instead of sitting down as he had planned, he slid the flowers into the boy's embrace and gently leaned down to press a soft kiss to his forehead, trailing his lips over the soft skin. When Harry let out a sigh of content, his arms tightening around the tulips, he deemed it safe to make his own way home.

-

"Definitely, mum," He said into the phone after realising that his nod, will in fact, not be seen over a mobile. "I've still a few days to go,"

He balanced the phone between his ear and his shoulder, stepping forward to quickly flip through the mail that was earlier slipped through the letterbox in their front door.

"No, you can't come and watch," He rolled his eyes, throwing the pile of envelopes onto the counter, deeming them useless. His fingers grazed over a brown paper one, Harry's name neatly printed over the top in black. "I think... I mean, if you'd like, you could come after? That is if - you know,"

He laughed nervously, pushing the envelope to the side and raising his hand to his face, pressing a finger to the bridge of his nose. When his mother didn't reply, instead just chuckled lightly into the phone, he breathed out a heavy sigh. "Right, I'll get going. Need to put the washing on, left all the white washing till' last and that's always a pain - do you even know how many white shirts he has? Why does he need all those? Either way, I still need to finish cleaning before Harry's home and Zayn's coming to help me move a few things around. As much as Harry will hate it, it needs to be done, I can't afford having him stumbling around,"

He only realised how domestic he sounded when Johannah laughed loudly into his ear. His skin flushing, he quickly bid her goodbye and put his phone to the side, plugging it into the charger to give it one last little bit of energy before leaving the house.

After doing a quick clean of the place so that he wouldn't come back to a complete dump, a melodious knock on the door sounded just as he was busy shoving a plastic box under the bed, trying to get it away from human eyes. He kicked an odd sock under it to add to the effect as he stood, crossing the hallway as he smoothed his hands down his shirt, the thin black material hanging loose around his skin.

"It smells like something died in here," Was the first thing Zayn proclaimed as he crossed the door frame. He met Louis' gaze with an unamused look on his face, at which the older man did an exaggerated shrug of his shoulders, raising his hands in defence.

"Look, sue me. Harry's not here to light his candles and get rid of the bad juju,"

"This has nothing to do with the aura in this place. It just smells like corpse. Or corpses,"

With a roll of his eyes, Louis shoved an air freshener into the boy's hands before shutting the door behind him, pulling him further into the flat. When they reached the living room, Zayn let out a loud whistle.

He raised the can, spinning in a circle and spraying around him, the fresh smell of artificial linen filling the air around them.

"That stinks!" Louis coughed into his hand, mimicking a gagging noise. "It stinks, stop, Jesus. We need to move the sofa to the left, please. Stop spraying, will you?"

"Open the window,"

"Yes, I will open the window," The older man groaned in defeat, crossing the room to reach the window. He turned the handle to the left, pushing it outwards. He was quite surprised at the fresh air that hit his face, allowing himself to enjoy it for a few seconds before ducking his head back inside. Living up on the fifth floor had a lot of disadvantages - but then came the things like the view out of the windows, and he instantly felt better.

"Louis," He was stopped by a steady hand on his back, and he turned to face the boy. Zayn's features were looking sharper than usual, dark stubble over his jaw and a strand of black hair falling over his forehead like ink spilling over an immaculate piece of paper. "Are you sure you want to move everything? Won't he find it harder to move around - he'll have to get used to a whole new place..."

"It's - it's a sight correcting surgery," Louis spoke slowly, raising one eyebrow. Was Zayn not aware of the fact that Harry had undergone the operation for this one and only reason? "I really am hoping for the best here, Z,"

"Yeah," The boy said, and when Louis met his gaze his eyes were soft. "But - what if?"

"Then we're okay," The man shrugged, his shoulders rising and falling carelessly. "It's really not that big of a deal - it's just back to what it always was for me and him,"

"Maybe for you," Zayn added after a few long seconds of silence. He coughed softly, reaching upwards to tousle his hair and push the loose strands away from his forehead. "Do you know how he'll feel though?"

Louis considered his options: he could either carry on the conversation and be honest, admitting that he never really thought about what will happen with Harry if nothing works. Second, he could continue the conversation, slamming Zayn down with a 'yes, we talked about it'. Or, he could avoid it.

"Do you feel like Chinese? I suddenly feel like I want takeaway. I just want a spring roll, this very second,"

Zayn sighed a little, shaking his head. Louis knew that he couldn't help but smile back at him, though.

"Yeah, alright. Go on, then. Don't say I didn't warn you,"

Shrugging it off once again, Louis reached out for his phone. Ignoring the missed calls displayed over his screen, he instead scrolled through his contact list to reach his local takeaway restaurant, uttering a long order into the phone.


	37. 36

"Louis?"

He took the stiff bed throw in his hand, fingers clenching into a fist in a tight grip. He could feel the unpleasant texture under his fingertips, however he knew that he had other things to worry about other than bed throw that wasn't as soft as he would like it to be.

Softly, he mumbled the name again under his breath. Despite receiving no answer, he knew someone was beside him - it felt like being in the presence of a ghost; how was he to know who was there? If, perhaps, it was just his imagination once again playing tricks on him?

"Hey," A voice eventually spoke up when Harry was done kneading the blanket in his hands, making him freeze where he was sat on the bed. He could feel his heart hammering against his chest as he scrambled up from the bed, turning in the direction of the speaker. "Hey - now. Take it easy,"

"I am taking it easy," Harry protested in a quiet voice, feeling his skin flush when his outstretched arms collided with the older man. He splayed his hands over his chest, ducking his head and breathing out heavily when an arm pulled him close to the warm body. It had been over three days since he's seen the man, but he wasn't about to make their first exchange of words be about his absence and the hole in Harry's heart due to it. "I miss you,"

"I'm here," Laughed the other, voice rising a little in surprise. "Come on, H, you okay?"

"Yeah," He mumbled wetly against Louis' neck, letting his lips linger on the soft skin as the heavy feeling of remorse hung over him like a grey rain cloud. "I miss you, anyway,"

"But I'm here," Louis repeated, and the boy could tell that he was growing more confused. Putting him out of his misery, Harry moved his hands from his chest to linger over his shoulders before wrapping himself around the man, long arms circling his body. "Hey, don't engulf me with your octopus limbs,"

"I love you," Harry cried quietly, his face damp with tears of guilt, of joy. Despite being bigger and curling himself around the man, he still took the time to press his face into the man's neck on the other side, breathing over his skin.

"I do too, babe," The familiar voice comforted him as Louis' hand trailed up his back and into his mess of hair. He felt his fingers threading through the locks that were no longer soft after a long night of tossing left and right.

It was taking him all his willpower to keep his eyes shut, not daring to open them in fear of what he would see - or what he wouldn't see, more or less. He let his lips slip open, taking in a big breath of fresh air, feeling it almost cleanse his lungs as he bit back the metallic taste in the back of his throat, his tongue flicking out to brush over his lips to wet them.

"I want to go home," He mumbled against Louis' shirt, pulling back a little to steady himself on his feet. He spun a little where he was stood, reaching to the left with the hopes of brushing his outstretched hands over the surface of his bed, his safe base, but he was met with nothing but empty air.

"To your right, honey," Louis supplied helpfully, making him scrunch his face up in a frown as he reluctantly turned back around to his right, his hands instantly colliding with the hard bed. He went to climb on top, but he was stopped by a steady hand gripping his hip.

The thing is, he had this whole idea in his head. He figured he would sleep off the post-surgery stress, clamber out of bed and be as right as rain, eyes shining in wonder as he took in the new world around him, falling in love with Louis over again in a whole new way. It wasn't quite going his way with the doctors continuously putting off the time to open his eyes already, making his anxiety levels rise over the scale.

He relaxed into his lover's touch as he let himself be held, almost falling forward into Louis. With one arm around his back and one hand settled just above the curve of his hips, he swayed where he stood in front of the man.

"Steady, now, baby. I wanted to ask you something, really quickly,"

Harry wasn't sure what the rush was, but he let his shoulders rise and drop a little carelessly. God, if Louis' always going to hold him like this then he can ask him every question in the world, whether it's about his favourite nonexistent colour or whether he believes in Darwin's theory of evolution and why is grass green, and why is the sky blue?

Gentle fingertips trailed up his side and over his neck, letting his touch linger where Harry knew was a dark mark on the skin of his neck, something Louis had created himself. It had become his favourite spot, the base of the young boy's neck, just above his collarbone, where he now had an almost permanent little bruise symbolising that little bit of love Louis and he were willing to share with the world's eyes.

"Would you mind if," Louis started in a small voice, clearing his throat after a few seconds of hesitation, eventually speaking up a little louder. His hand snuck up the back of Harry's head, into the mess of his hair. "Would you mind contacting your dad?"

Well. That - that was certainly the last thing Harry was expecting to come out of the man's mouth. Despite being almost a good year into being together, he had never really gotten around to calling his father, let alone dumping the news of him being in a committed relationship on him. He knew that his father was a busy man, and it never really downed on him how long exactly he put off any contact.

Either way, he was expecting Louis to ask if he can kiss him breathless or maybe curl up beside him on the hospital bed with the mattress from hell, but not this.

"Why?" He questioned instead, feeling confusion growing on his features. Desperately trying to hold in his small laugh when Louis reached with his finger to smooth down his frown, he couldn't help but show the man a linger of a smile.

"I know it may sound silly, but I'd love to meet him," Louis mumbled sheepishly, and Harry could tell he was a little flustered. With an easy laugh, he threw his arms around the man's neck, pulling him close.

"I hate to tell you, but my dad is a grown man. He has a wife and all, don't think he would be that keen to go for you, Louis," The boy giggled into the man's neck, making him swat at his shoulder.

"Shut up, God,"

"My name's Harry," The boy informed him softly, making Louis groan once again. He giggled to himself under his breath before pulling back, feeling his cheeks flush as Louis held out his hands to join their fingers together, holding up both of their palms. "Yeah - I mean, yeah. I'll give him a call. Just... why the urgency?"

"No urgency," Louis quickly said, making the young boy arch an eyebrow in surprise as he kept his head tilted downwards, away from the artificial lighting flooding in from the corridor. His own room was being kept dark, not teasing him to open his eyes and take a peek. "Do you wanna do that? My phone's right here."

Before he knew it, Louis' phone was being pressed into his palm. With a small frown on his face, he rotated the object in his hand, smiling sheepishly at the sleekness of it, the simple piece of glass over the whole screen.

"Lou, I'm blind," He reminded the boy softly, before once again laughing under his breath when Louis cursed, reaching forward to take the phone back.

"Fuck, okay. Wanna dictate the number? I'll type it in for you, and then you can-"

"Calm down!" The young boy easily laughed, feeling his smile grow with every second. He had no idea as to why the man was being so jumpy, so hyperactive with his actions and his words and his speech that seemed endless unless he cut him off. "Calm down, there's time. We have, like, all the time in the world,"

He felt Louis' fingers tighten a little where he was gripping onto his shirt, a shaky breath being exhaled against his warm skin.

"You're right," He spoke back softly, making Harry think of the wind rustling. "Of course. No rush - I mean. Do you want me to step out?"

"If you'd like," The young one replied, breathing out a shaky laugh.

Although they weren't particularly close, or as near to each other as they'd want to be, the moment felt more intimate than any other, especially to Harry. He felt as though he was mid-air, his lungs full of air and his body as light as a feather as he stood in the embrace of the love of his life. They weren't on top of the Eiffel Tower in the city of love, or on the Hollywood Hills feeling as though they're on top of the world with the busy life bustling around them, away from them. They weren't in their bed with disheveled silk duvets draped over nude skin, soft touches of the night before lingering on their skin and an ache of desire and absence in him. They weren't holding each other in any special way different than any other day, they weren't making their love present in any new or greater way. They were just Louis and Harry, and Harry felt that they were infinite.

When they both perched themselves on the edge of the bed, Harry dictating a nine digit number to him before pressing the device to his ear, he couldn't help but laugh loudly when Louis pulled a quite poor and unsuccessful attempt to press their lips together in a quick kiss.

"Cute," A voice spoke up from the doorway, making Harry instantly freeze a little, the phone in his hand slipping slightly. Ever since Louis, he never jumped at surprise voices or unwanted touches on no shoulder anymore, but this time it snapped him out of his daze. "You boys alright today? How are we feeling, Harry?"

The boy soon recognised the voice to be the one of his nurse who's name, to his disappointment and guilt, he could not remember to save his life.

"I'm quite fantastic, actually," He piped up, pulling himself away from Louis' embrace and instead tucking himself under the man's shoulder, the strong arm instantly going to circle his own and pull him that little bit closer. The ringer tone sounded in the phone. How are you?"

"Grand, thank you," She replied softly, and Harry could almost hear the smile in her voice. He knew she wasn't looking as she bustled around the room, popping open a window and flipping the light switch on. "Mind if I quickly check up on you?

When he didn't reply, he could feel Louis' chest rising as though he was about to speak up, most likely protest and inform her Harry was on the phone. And he was - because on the other line he heard the rustling of something that sounded very much like a breeze of a breathy huff, a quick greeting in his father's way.

"Yeah, sure," He instead replied to the nurse, quickly busying himself by shoving the phone to Louis' ear, hopping off the bed and crossing the room to where she knew he stood. He could hear the man's voice hitch where he remained on the hard mattress.

"Harry-" The sound of his boyfriend's voice spoke up from across the room, followed by the creaking of the mattress. Having learnt Louis' body language almost by heart, Harry knew that the man had stood up, attempting to follow him.

"Hey - you wanted to contact him, anyway! Go on, it won't be a minute," He waved his hand in Louis' directions, swiftly hiding the pink flush of his cheeks from him as he ducked his head towards the nurse.

He could feel the clear hesitation hanging in the air around them, before Louis bustled out of the room, the door swinging shut behind him.

-

They both watched carefully as the envelope fluttered through the neatly cut hole in the door, the metal flapping before swallowing up the paper.

Listening carefully, when they eventually heard the paper hit the ground inside the home, they both burst into a loud cheer.

"There it is," The man beside Zayn said easily with a small nod of his head. He didn't take his eyes off the mailbox, eventually turning to face his fiancé. "Our first invitation sent,"

"I mean, it wasn't really sent," Zayn confirmed, dragging out the last word with a soft laugh. He grunted in annoyance when Liam swatted at his shoulder, both of them turning back to watching the motionless object.

"Yeah, but you get the idea," Liam mumbled, his left palm reaching out to grasp the other boy's tightly. Zayn was sure that he could feel how fast his heart was beating through the pulse in his wrist that he brushed his finger over.

"Yeah, we're basically married now," The boy agreed, nodding his head. He knew Liam scoffed, rolling his eyes at him - he knew, not even having to glance at him. He just knew.

"Do you think - will they like it? I mean. It's different, of course..."

Zayn also knew when he was being watched, which is why he, himself rolled his eyes and turned around on his heel to look straight into the eyes of his best friend, Louis flushing bright red upon being caught. He quickly collected himself, stepping forward from the shadows and throwing them a careless wave.

"What are you doing?" He asked, Zayn echoing the question right back at him. Being them, they couldn't help but laugh at each other, the man beside them simply tugging Zayn closer to himself with strong arms.

"We were just leaving, actually," Liam lied, his voice at least two octaves higher. Liam was never a good liar, and everyone knew it.

"Alright!" Louis let it slip. He sure didn't let it slip, but that's for him to know. Suspiciously, he stepped towards his own front door and inspected it closely with his thumb and finger on his chin in deep thought. "What did you do, this time? I told you before that you can't squeeze a fucking dog through the letterbox,"

"Not this time," Zayn supplied helpfully, a grin pulling at the corners of his lips. Louis took a moment to admire him, his skin looking bright and his eyes shining as he watched him in fascination, dark stubble growing over his jaw.

He hesitated for a few seconds, staring the couple down before shaking his head, making for his bag to pull Harry's house keys of it. He disarmed the boy of his access to his house on his own in fears of him fleeing the hospital to cross the city by himself. He wasn't really doubting it after the endless goodbye they shared just an hour prior, with the young boy clinging to him uselessly. "Don't trust you,"

The two scurried off and down the hall before he could say another word, and with another disbelieving shake of his head, he shoved the key into the hole, twisting it to the left twice.

When he stepped into their home, nothing seemed out of place, which was quite a surprise. He wasn't really sure what he was expecting - perhaps a grenade on the floor of his hallway or maybe halfway across the room, considering the power of Liam's throws. Even through a letterbox.

It wasn't a grenade, though. It was a neat beige envelope lying innocently on the wooden floor of the hallway, right next to where Harry left his suede boots lying around.

With cautious distrust, he knelt down on the floor beside the paper, eyeing it from every angle. Upon deeming it safe from any explosions, he raised it in his hands and stared down at it.

There was nothing on it. Because he couldn't see anything, he instead went to thumb it open, his fingertips freezing when he touched the paper. Carefully printed, were bumps over the envelope that he quickly recognised as Braille.

Now taking more care to open the envelope without ripping it, he could feel both of his eyebrows raised high subconsciously in surprise. He didn't even realise how much of a surprise he was in for when a mountain of pink glitter flew out of the wrapper, making him curse loudly.

Not even bothering to get up and clean the mess that would remain on him for most likely the rest of his life and also on all their clothes and in his hair, of course, and maybe even on the house cat living halfway across the country in Yorkshire, he simply accepted his fate.

Pulling out a piece of thick paper, coloured as though someone just poured fresh cream into coffee, he could feel his breath hitch a little in his chest.

"I swear..." He mumbled to himself, blinking quickly as he turned over the paper, his eyes quickly scanning over all the writing on it, not really taking any of it in. He could make out the Braille neatly printed under every word, and his heart fluttered in his chest as the consideration the two men had gone into.

His heart felt like it suddenly stopped when he actually began to read, sight freezing on the first words.

Because there, right in front of him were the words he would dream of hearing. It would mean so much - and now that he saw it on paper, black on white (coffee on cream?) he knew for certain that he would make it come true.

Because the invitation was titled to Louis Tomlinson, which is alright, because that's him. Except it's not just Louis Tomlinson. It's Louis & Harry Tomlinson.


	38. 37

"I think I'm having heart problems," Louis moaned in pain, sighing softly when a hand slapped at his chest.

"Fuck your heart problems," Zayn rolled his eyes at him, a flash of metal of the ring in his nose catching Louis' gaze when he pushed himself past the man. "I'm getting married. You think you're the one with the problem?"

"Yes," The man grunted at him, carefully thumbing through the magazine in front of him. He never imagined his hands would shake so much - like, at any point in his life. His fingers however trembled as he flipped the page, his eyes boring down into the arrange of suits presented on the page. The thing is, they all look the same - or rather more of a blur of lack of colour. He would definitely bring more colour into his own wedding rather than just black and white.

No, no own weddings. Despite how much he's wanting and pining after taking Harry away somewhere personal, and kneeling down in front of him with a promise on his lips and a ring in his hands, they certainly have other priorities. Like the fact that Harry's finally coming out of hospital today, and today is the day that will either make them or break them.

"What about a white one?"

It's currently late afternoon and there's a branch thudding against the window of the Groomswear shop. The wind had considerably picked up earlier today, just when Louis had stepped out of their home, instantly feeling the chilly air brush over his skin.

He wondered if Harry was cold.

"I think you'd look terrible," He lied through his teeth, pretending his eyes didn't stop on the white suit and instead continuing on with the magazine. He could almost sense Zayn rolling his eyes where he was stood, carefully picking through a pile of shirts that all looked the same to Louis.

"What about the silk one? Black shirt, white suit?"

"Breaking the rules? Why don't you just wear a white dress while you're at it?"

"Black dress," The other boy pointed out, his eyebrows furrowing in concentration as he pulled a smooth, silk black shirt out of the neatly folded pile. "What do you think,"

"Quirky," The man raised and dropped his shoulders in a shrug, finally looking up to glance at the outfit in Zayn's hands. He really wasn't one for fashion advice - despite him being the seeing one, it was always Harry picking through his clothes and choosing something for him to wear when he's struggling. He could only imagine how much Harry would love to actually be able to see what he's choosing, not just making decisions by thumbing at the material. "Can't it wait? Honestly, you can get much better support from Harry,"

"It's about the colour scheme, Louis!" Zayn finally snapped, gritting his teeth as he folded the suit jacket over his knees, looking up to meet the man's sheepish gaze.

Louis kept his own eyes on the man's jaw, before his own trembled a little and he ducked his head to glance at the marble tiles beneath his feet. Zayn had made him clean up for their outing and so his usual, worn out vans were replaced by a pair of boots he borrowed from Harry, stuffed with two pairs of bed socks.

"Sorry," He breathed out softly, blinking a little as he focused his gaze on where the tip of the shoe was wearing out, the leather marked. "I can't focus,"

Zayn was already flipping through another rack of brightly coloured suit jackets when he felt a soft buzzing inside the pocket of his jeans, making him yelp a little in surprise. Upon pulling it out, he was surprised to see that it was already late, the sky fading into black - they've arrived at the shop earlier in the day, and he was finding it hard to believe that he survived a whole six hours there.

"We have to head to Queen Mary's," He stated, raising his voice a little so that his best friend could hear him from where he now was, halfway across the shop. Louis shifted a little where he was sat on the plush sofa, the material rustling underneath him as he stood.

"Already?" Zayn asked in surprise, his dark eyebrows furrowing on his face as he hung back the item of clothing he was holding onto. He stepped across the room to stand in front of Louis, making a soft sound when the man didn't budge, his hands trembling.

He let out a shaky sigh and let an unsure smile grow on his features when Zayn took both of his hands in his own, gripping them tight. He kept his gaze locked on the boy's warm eyes, trying to steady his breathing.

"It's gonna be alright. Trust me, he will be alright. You'll both be fantastic," He muttered reassuringly to the man.

Louis had never expected the feeling of fear to be so strong just mere hours before seeing Harry, his heart feeling as though it would beat right out of his chest. His whole body was shaking as Zayn led him out of the shop, the woman working the reception shooting them both reassuring smiles as they stumbled out. He was a hundred percent sure that if he were to drive, he would crash them into the nearest building, instead bundling himself into the passenger seat and leaning his head against the window.

When they arrived at the hospital he felt as though he were a celebrity - from the moment he stepped inside there were constant pats on the back from every doctor that passed him, reassuring squeezes on his arm from nurses. A man offered to press the buttons for him in the elevator, and they even offered to lead him to the bathroom when he turned a little green when he was stood in front of Harry's door.

"All fine, Mr. Tomlinson," The girl's soft voice spoke up from beside him, and he turned a little to take in her appearance. The soft wisps of her blonde hair seemed to calm him down the more he stared at them, eventually making her laugh a little, melodic and loud. "Ready? There's going to be two doctors present, if that's alright. They need to note, and such,"

"That's - yeah," He stumbled over his words, his lips trembling a little as he once again turned to stare right ahead at the immaculately white door.

After taking in a deep breath, he pushed open the door slowly. It was dark inside, and he figured that the blinds were drawn. There were indeed two men, one sitting in front of a monitor and one sitting beside Harry.

His legs instantly took him forward when his eyes stopped on the boy. He looked somewhat small and afraid in the large room, and even in the dark Louis could tell his cheeks were flushed rose. He had his legs crossed in front of him, his left hand resting over his right on his lap.

The doctor was speaking to him, however he instantly stopped upon realising Louis had stepped into the room, instead standing and stretching out a hand in front of him.

"Mr. Tomlinson - it's a pleasure to meet you," He claimed with a tight lipped smile, which the man returned half heartedly. His gaze was still fixed on his boyfriend who was now facing upwards and towards him expectedly, a hopeful furrow in his brows.

"You too," Louis muttered, before moving over to stand in front of the young boy, quickly deciding that it would be much easier to crouch in front of him, facing him directly. "Darling - hello, how are you feeling?"

Harry reached out with a trembling hand to grip onto the man's sleeve, ducking his head. "I'm okay - very much, now that you're here. Thank you. How are you?"

"Excited," He bit into his lip, chewing on it a little. "Nervous. You'll be okay. I love you,"

The young boy nodded his head a little, a soft curl falling down his forehead and in front of his eyes, which Louis quickly reached out to tuck back behind his ear.

Before he had the chance to utter another word, the boy's gentle hands reached out to feel his shoulders, eventually settling as he gripped onto the material of the baby blue jumper the man had worn this morning. Despite telling himself to not think in that way to create false hope, he pulled the jumper over his head earlier that day with a glimmer of hope of blue being the first colour Harry would see, since he claimed it to be his favourite.

When he took another last glance around the room, he was surprised to have found that he hadn't noticed when the boy's mother had stepped into the room, as she simply stood to the side with a watery smile across her face and worry lines on her forehead, her suit jacket tight around her shoulders.

"Hi, Anne," He piped up from his position on the floor, feeling Harry shift in the slightest, however not moving his hands from the man's shoulders. "You're looking gorgeous today, how are you feeling?"

"Wish I was feeling the same," She joked weakly before a hesitant smile painted over her features. "I'm alright, good old me. Don't worry,"

He simply nodded, understanding what she was feeling in the slightest and instead turning his full attention back to the boy in front of him who was once again being lectured by one of the doctors. The grip on his jumper weakened a little, Harry reaching out to trail his fingertips over the skin of the man's neck.

"I'm going to count for you. When we reach five, I want you to blink,"

It felt as though the tension in the room had grown to levels high enough to make Louis suffocate. With the love of his life desperately clinging onto him with, now, as much force as he could, he felt more on edge than ever before.

His hands were both trembling where he held on, and so Louis himself reached out to circle one of his wrists with his left hand, the other resting steady on the boy's hip. He held him back as much as he could, and he was already surprised at how close the doctors were allowing him to get. He didn't want to cross that line.

"One," The elderly man said calmly, his gaze flicking over to his colleague who noted something before urging him to continue with a small nod of his head. "Two, three,"

From where he was, Louis could feel how fast Harry's heart was thudding away inside his chest. He could sense the nerves almost dripping off him like water, falling away into a puddle.

"Four,"

He tried to control his own breathing, to calm down for the sake of the beautiful boy in front of him but he couldn't, not with Harry's shaky grip and not with his leg bouncing up and down where he strained to stay crouching.

After what seemed like an endless second of everyone holding their breath, the doctor spoke up. "Five,"

He felt as though he was about to collapse, no air filtering through his lungs when after those long weeks, he finally took a glance at his lover's eyes. Harry seemed to find great difficulty in opening them, however, eventually blinking repeatedly as his gaze seemingly focused above Louis' head.

"Just once! One blink, please, Harry. No more, that's alright. How do you feel?" The doctor piped up from beside them, stepping in and attempting to gently push Louis aside to reach the young boy who helplessly stared forward. The man was willing to follow any orders with how fast his heart was beating, but Harry's firm grip held him in place. "One blink,"

"Please stop..." The boy finally spoke, his voice no more than a hushed whisper. His eyes, brimming with tears, trailed over the walls, down to the floor. "Please,"

"That's okay. No more, for a second. How do you feel?" The doctor repeated, and Louis' heart ached.

The boy parted his lips as though he was about to speak, but his words came out as a sudden sob. "I can't see,"

It was as though the whole world stopped. The gravity gave in and the Earth fell into a dark, endless void of darkness, it was as though Louis was falling, and nothing could stop him. It was as though something shook the earth beneath him at point ten on the Richter scale and every single building collapsed on top of him, because every bad thought that flooded his mind over the past weeks had come to be true.

"Harry," The man croaked out, his voice breaking halfway through as he reached towards the trembling body. He attempted to stand from his crouch on the floor, out of the corner of his eye noticing the doctor beside them and the fall of his face, the shift in his mood. He stood and he left, and Louis had never felt worse for a man.

He had also never felt worse for anyone because he was watching his whole world in the form of Harry fall apart right in front of him, the boy collapsing on himself, his body trembling with the force of his cries.

As the man stood and threw himself around the boy, pulling him close to himself forcefully and painfully listening to the boy's hurt, he couldn't help but think back to every moment. He thought about the first time he visited him, when Harry had cried and his thick tears scared Louis. He thought back to when the boy would jump whenever he did as much as touching his shoulder, or when Harry would curl in on himself on the corner of their bed every late night, crying to himself when he thought nobody was watching.

"I can't see," He repeated brokenly into Louis' shoulder, and the man was prepared for anything. He was prepared for him to yell, for him to scream, for him to beat the living shit out of Louis in his agony and sadness. What he wasn't expecting, was the boy crying quietly into his shirt, both arms weakly by his own side in surrender. "I thought-"

The man quieted him with a gentle arm around his back, his mind racing. Oh, how he wished everything worked in their favour - how he wished the boy would get everything he deserved from this world, his sight being a necessity that shouldn't even be in the category of something he is unfortunate enough to lack.

"Harry," He mumbled to the boy, trailing his lips over his forehead, to his ear. The cries didn't subside, though Harry's hand tensed where it was clenched into a tight fist behind Louis' neck.

Wordlessly and without hesitance, the man slipped away from the boy, making him cry out in sadness once more. To calm him, he took both of his shaking hands in his own, placing them once again on his shoulders.

Instead of standing, he simply slid down to the floor, swallowing thickly as he knelt down on his right knee in front of the boy, his heart hammering away inside his chest. Tears clouded his eyes, and he scolded himself for complaining about anything related to his sight. Ever.

"I'm sorry," He began, quietly, reserved. He wanted the words to be only for Harry, and yet he was finding it difficult to say anything to the emotionally broken boy. With his head ducked to face his own lap and thick, thick tears rolling down his face, it was hard for him to decide what else Harry could be feeling aside from the dreadful hurt. "I'm so sorry, darling. I know that it's everything you ever wanted, and you deserve it, you do,"

He spoke in a hushed voice, Harry's sobs now growing eerily silent. Louis wouldn't know, as he had shut his own eyes, forcefully keeping them from opening with all his might as he stared right ahead into the darkness. The boy's hands trembled on his shoulders, and so he took his left hand in his own, bringing it down to his mouth.

He trailed his lips over the soft skin as he felt another cry shake Harry's body, the boy almost falling forward into him with how hard he was shivering.

Initially simply planning to comfort the boy and hold him tight and tell him how much he will love him either way and he always has and always will, because in the end he didn't give a slightest care in the world for if the boy has functioning eyes or not, because he knew that he would love Harry with his arms and legs missing, or even without a head. But he's Louis - he doesn't stick to initial plans.

He shifted on his knee, squeezing the fourth finger of Harry's left hand. The boy paused. And Louis opened his mouth, and the words that tumbled out seemed easier to say that anything ever before.

"Marry me."


	39. 38

It was a sad blur of black, black, black. Thick black dripping off the walls, slowly falling on top of him, drop by drop, from the ceiling. The black behind the window stared back at him.

His heart was black.

For if anyone had found Louis lying by himself in his own bedroom with eyes glued to a stain on the glass of the window and his arms hanging uselessly by his sides, they would have thought he was merely having a moment to himself. Just a man and the dark, and peace - not noticing the pang of pain that shook through his body every time his mind drifted to love.

After his rushed proposal of marriage, he was caught by surprise by Harry collapsing forward into him, slipping down onto the floor with a cry past his lips. He wasn't sure how to react or what the boy's reaction was symbolising - he didn't even begin to consider whether it was a yes or a painful decline.

Either way, after Harry's body weakly gave in and he shook with sobs in his arms on the tile floor, it was about time for his mother to intervene. And Harry seemed dead to the world - when she scooped him up and claimed to take him home, Louis couldn't do much more than watch.

So, his love was taken away. Temporarily - of course, which he knew. He understood they needed some time together, especially after the lack of success of Harry's operation which was bound to break him. He just wished he knew what was happening more clearly.

And that's where he was, in the dark of his own bedroom with the cold sheets around him, a lack of a warm body beside him as it has been for the past two weeks. The only warmth was the now-growing cat sat beside him, curled into a ball on the dark duvet. Louis ran a hand through his fur.

"You don't have to feel bad," He whispered into the phone he held close to his ear. Pressing the device closer to himself made him feel that his love was closer, as ridiculous as it seemed.

A long exhale of a breath could be heard on the other line, before a breathy laugh which almost made the corners of his lips twist upwards, in a hint of a pathetic excuse of a smile.

"I love you," The voice replied after a moment, steady and sure, which only made Louis squeeze his eyes shut and breathe out heavily. Jesus, why was life harder than intended? "I'm sorry for calling so late. She's really keeping me busy, which is okay, because I understand she's trying to distract me..."

Louis just wished she wasn't trying to distract Harry from him, because he was probably about to go crazy.

"I don't think I can do it anymore," Harry laughed, hesitant and hushed. The man perked up a little at the words, sitting up slowly and switching the phone from one ear to the other. "I can't handle it. She's trying so hard, which is really nice of her to do... but. I don't want to be here,"

I know, Louis wanted to say. I want you here too, I want you where you belong. I want you here forever, and I thought I made that as clear as I could when I got down on one knee.

"And... what you said," Harry shakily rushed out, his voice no more than a mutter. "I really - I would really like to talk. To you. Do - do I still get to live with you?"

"This is your home," Louis instantly replied, trailing his fingertips over the window sill, cold under his touch. He swallowed thickly, focusing his gaze on the full moon which shone brightly and proudly in the distance. "I... I hope you know that. That this is your home. I'd like to think of it that way,"

"Of course!" He instantly piped up, and Louis could almost picture him in the way he sits up when he exclaims something, reaching up a hand to push his hair out of his face in concentration. "I know! I just don't want to seem like I'm too pushy..."

"Harry, I know you," Louis croaked out, rubbing a hand down his face tiredly. "You know I'm not going to suddenly develop any new views of you. I know you. Love you,"

"Love you! I love you," The boy instantly exclaimed, Louis smiling weakly to himself as he let his eyes flutter shut. "I'm sorry. Could I come home... tomorrow, maybe? I'll get the tube, if that's okay. Please?"

"You can come back whenever you want to come back," The man replied, but his small smile finally felt real. In his head, he was already turning away to grab his car keys and speed down the route he knew by heart. "I think I'd like to give you a lift home, though. Is that okay, my love?"

"Yeah, of course," Harry mumbled, his voice a little muffled, and the man could only imagine how his eyes were getting glassy as he blinked back tears.

After parting with a sweet goodbye and an ache in his heart that only Harry's presence could fulfil, Louis gave the cat an apologetic pat on the head before slipping past, and out of his room to shove his shoes on. He knew he had priorities before welcoming Harry back into their home.

-

"I've lived mostly in too little clothing for the past week," The boy explained with a shy smile as he focused his gaze on the dashboard in front of him. If anything, the operation certainly helped him with focusing his eyes, which Louis couldn't help but admire. He no longer shakily kept his glance above his head when speaking but rather, he somehow managed to look him right in the eyes.

"I can see that," Another voice piped up from the back of the car, Louis glancing over at the Irish boy in the rearview mirror. The boy reached over to the front to tug at Harry's shirt - one he himself hadn't seen before, a soft-looking silk that flowed down past his shoulders to where it was tucked into the waistband of his jeans. Either way, when he saw Niall's intruding hand come into view he had to bite his tongue to stop himself from spitting out words of jealousy.

Despite him picking Harry up, he hadn't even gotten a chance to touch the boy yet. Not even a mere hug, only Anne's narrowed gaze on him as they departed and then Niall's continuous chatter in the back of their car. Of course, he wasn't one to deny Harry's only request of him dropping his best friend home, but he was really pining for a moment alone with him.

As though Harry could sense how uneasy he felt, he muttered, "Louis?" before reaching over the panel with an outstretched hand.

With his best attempts to keep his eyes on the road, the man swallowed thickly before he slipped his left hand into the boy's right. His skin was the exact same kind of soft he always remembered it as, and he wanted to do nothing but embrace the boy in his arms, show him how he truly loves him.

Harry's hand twitched in his own a little, before he squeezed tighter. "How's...-" He began, before he was once again cut off by the boy in the back making a loud noise as he scrolled through his phone.

"Holy shit, I wish I could show you both this right now. It's a shame you're driving and H's... well,"

He knew that Niall and Harry always had the kind of relationship where they found it easy to speak about Harry's blindness - it was just another something in their lives, and nothing to be taken as a negative. However, he couldn't help but notice that ever since the cursed surgery, it made Harry uneasy and Niall didn't know how to go around the subject.

"How's Buttons?" The boy finally asked, tilting his head a little towards Louis tiredly. The man was grateful to be pulling into the driveway of Niall's university a commendation.

"He's wrecking the house, as usual," Louis responded, before finally parking the car just outside the gates, and shooting Niall a subtle glance over his shoulder.

"Oh, I thought we'd go back to yours," The boy sighed exaggeratedly before unbuckling his seatbelt, and leaning forward to smack a kiss atop Harry's head, following with one to Louis'. "Thank you, my man. I'll see you both soon!"

"Bye!" Harry responded with a warm smile as he gave Louis' hand another firm squeeze, his eyes finally shutting comfortably when he heard the car door slam shut, his body visibly relaxing into the leather seat. "God, I wish we could just get home already,"

"Me too," The man stated, not yet bothering to turn the keys and instead he turned his body towards the boy, leaning over and enveloping him in his arms. "I miss you so much,"

"I do too," Harry whispered as he pushed his face further into the man's shoulder, Louis feeling him breathe in heavily. He gently touched the boy's back, rubbing his back through the coat he was wearing, beige lined with faux fur that felt soft and feather-like under his fingertips. He felt Harry's shaky hands trail up his own shoulders and to his face, taking his jaw in his hands and carefully feeling out his cheeks, fingers pressing into the skin. Louis felt his heart aching a little at the thought of the boy wanting to see him, and despite his efforts not being able to. As if he was reading his mind, Harry made a small noise before pulling back, ducking his head a little. "I - I'm sorry it didn't work."

"No, stop. It's not anybody's fault. You're okay - do you want to go out today, baby? It'll take both our minds off things, and it's a good excuse to celebrate your birthday," He hesitated, watching carefully as Harry blinked a little, cracking the fingers of both his hands on his knee where his leg was swung over the other. The boy nodded a little, and Louis couldn't help but glance down at his hand, his ring finger looking painfully plain. God, he couldn't just ignore the subject for this long. He swallowed thickly, before turning back to the steering wheel to drive them home.

-

"Anything else?"

"That's alright," Harry shot the waitress a bright smile, his eyes trailing down to the table from her face. "Thank you!"

Watching the woman walk away from the table, Louis tried to tell himself to stop bouncing his leg, to no success. He had suggested to visit the same restaurant they visited back when they first met and he didn't know why nerves swallowed him up to the point where Harry was the one who ordered for the both of them. Truly, he felt a small sense of pride blossoming deep inside as he watched the boy recite from the menu to the waitress, no longer stuttering over his words and curling in on himself to hide away from strangers.

"Now, tell me. What's eating you alive?" He pulled Louis out of his deep thoughts with a soft voice, the one he only ever used when talking to the man. He reached over the table blindly and Louis glanced down at his hand before taking it in his own.

He knew he couldn't hide anything from Harry, with how intelligent the boy was. "Trying to think of your birthday present," He lied through gritted teeth, shifting a little in his seat. He could almost feel his palm growing clammy in Harry's, a red warmth growing up his neck from the nerves.

Harry narrowed his gaze, smiling a little unsurely. "Don't lie to me,"

He knew it. However, he could not understand how the boy knew everything.

"Alright, honey, I can't do this," He sighed softly, gently reaching forward to take Harry's hand away from his own, shifting to stand. An expression he couldn't recognise grew over the boy's features upon him pulling back, a flash of fear before some kind of recognition.

Not taking his eyes off Harry's face, he slowly made his way around the table before stopping in front of him, taking both his hands in his own. The boy turned to him with a shy smile, his skin flushing pink as he laughed breathily when the man leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead.

"Louis," He mumbled, his smile growing more prominent and bright as his hands were tugged down when said man once again knelt down in front of him, movements careful and slow. He felt as though nobody was around them, and despite feeling the eyes of everybody around them pausing in eating and watching with warm smiles, he couldn't look anywhere but Harry's face, his soft features, his happy smile. "Jesus, Lou. Are you really doing this?"

"I certainly am," He laughed back, shifting so that he was on one knee. He waited for Harry to take a moment to feel his shoulders and attempt to gently touch his knee, instead simply sliding down from the chair so join the man kneeling. He embraced him in his arms, simply giggling into his chest. "Hey, get off. I'm trying to do a proposal here,"

Harry's face brightened at the word, his cheeks flushing red as he shifted so that he was also kneeling opposite the man, before Louis helped him back up into his chair. His breathing visibly hitched when the man took his left hand in his own, raising it to his lips and trailing kisses over his knuckles.

"I know we already did this, but. It wasn't quite how we would imagine it," He began, and he soothed Harry's trembling hand with a kiss to it. "So, I thought I'll do it again, with a bit more character. This place was the beginning of us, and I don't want an ending,"

The boy's eyes seemed to cloud over with tears, damp eyelashes fluttering as he squeezed his eyes shut. His lips trembled as he leaned down a little, a shaky breath slipping past his lips.

"And because I don't want an ending, I want to ask you to join me in forever. Harry... I know I already asked, and you know the drill. Will you marry me?"

Before Harry could respond, the man pressed a ring into his palm, the boy making a small noise from the back of his throat as a warm lone tear made its' way down the skin of his face.

The ring was a simple thin silver band, with an emerald gem shining proudly in the middle, the exact colour of Harry's gaze. Without responding, Harry breathed in wetly before slipping the ring onto his middle finger.

"I think you know," He whispered in response, and when he blindly looked up to focus his eyes on Louis', the man had never felt happier.

And as he embraced the love of his life in his arms, helping Harry stand on shaky legs and pressing their bodies tight together in a long, meaningful hug, he could only pretend he himself wasn't weeping when the whole crowd of the restaurant cheered for them.

"Now we get free breadsticks," Louis muttered into the boy's hair, his shoulders shaking as he laughed in response.

"Why else would I say yes?" He softly added, making Louis scoff into his shoulder. Into the shoulder of his fiancé - and God, that felt so good to think.


	40. 39

"Smile, baby!" The woman in front of them exclaimed, flipping her auburn hair behind her shoulder with a loud laugh as she snapped another photograph on the camera she had insisted on carrying around. It was hanging off a black lanyard around her neck, completely contrasting to the royal blue of her silk dress. Harry's arm tightened around his fiancé's waist, a lazy grin growing over his features. "Ooh, yes. You're beautiful, H. If only you got my son to smile as bright as you,"

"One day," Harry joked teasingly, tilting his head to the right to face Louis with a wide smile. His eyes had that sparkle in them that they held at all times, and a shadow fell over his face. A young girl rushed past them as Johannah squeezed past, pushing herself against her son's side and turning the camera screen towards him. "How's it look?"

"Great," Louis answered, eyeing the small screen presented to him. It was great, actually. He'll have to ask his mother for a copy to get it blown up and preferably printed on a canvas for everyone to see.

He tore his eyes away from the image of Harry and himself, instead eyeing the boy stood beside him, his hand still clutched tightly in his own, the cool metal of his ring pressing against his own palm. A white rose corsage decorated his wrist, tied neatly with a matching ribbon to keep it in place, matching the single flower of the same type tucked into the pocket of Louis' suit jacket. Harry had insisted on white rose because - purely because, and Louis will never be one to deny Harry.

As he stood with his mother to his side picking through the photos on her camera roll with a frown on her face and his boyfriend to his other side, clutching his hand tightly and waving at any passerby, it was only right that he was startled by a strong hand on his shoulder, instantly making him turn towards it.

"My loves!" His best friend hummed, leaning forward to press a kiss to his forehead, followed by a kiss to Harry's. With the whole wedding, he's been trying to de-stress by following Harry's own advice. He ended up embracing this whole peace life style, and Louis wasn't too sure how the fuck Zayn was still the same person. "You're beautiful! Beautiful!"

He ended up wearing a white suit, after all. And it looked great on him.

Liam was clinging onto his arm but he had an easy smile on his face as he swung an arm around Harry's shoulders, Johannah pulling away and skipping off at the last minute with a laugh.

"The garden really worked out, then?" Harry urged on the conversation as they slowly started making their way down the path which they were previously walking before getting attacked by Louis' mother and her weapon of choice, the dreaded camera. "It seems like everyone really likes it,"

"It's beautiful," Liam answered, nodding a little as he ran his fingers over the material of Harry's suit around his shoulder, shooting Louis a soft smile. Zayn hooked his arm through his own, standing at the other side.

"Oh - beautiful, babe? It's ethereal. My, how did you find this place?" He wondered out loud, looking over at Harry who simply shrugged with a raise and drop of his shoulders and a smile on his lips. His fingers twitched a little where they were intertwined with Louis' own. The man himself couldn't help but glance at Zayn, meeting his narrowed gaze and deep within seeing that young boy that would skate down ramps with him, hair slicked up high and scratches decorating both his elbows.

"I don't know - I hope it lives up to your expectations. Wouldn't want to disappoint the newly weds,"

Zayn's laugh echoed around them as he pulled away from Louis to return to his new husband's side, his eyes brown and shining as he glanced up to lovingly meet Liam's gaze.

"And there we are, they've gone completely bonkers," Louis commented, watching as they ran off in the distance of the buffet tables, clothed with white embroidery. He let out a huff of surprise when his shirt was tugged on, but before he had a chance to react, warm lips pressed to his own.

He kissed Harry back gently, with one hand hovering over his hip and one twisted into his hair, which he would most likely complain about sooner or later. It took the hairdresser over an hour to braid it just right, with two loose French plaits running over the top of Harry's head, the rest of his hair let free in natural ringlets. When the boy made a small noise into his mouth, Louis slowly pulled away, pecking the tip of his nose before resuming his position beside him.

"I can't wait until it's us," The boy mumbled to him, a warm flush colouring his cheeks as he tilted his head upwards, squinting at the bright light of the sun shining down upon them. "I already planned the cake,"

"Hey, what if I had cake plans?" Louis joked, hooking their arms together and beginning to lead the boy back to their table from their small walk. Harry had his cane with him, however it was tucked away in his suit jacket which was left hanging over his chair back at said table, and Louis was his eyes for the time being.

"Then I'm sorry, but my cake plans are definitely better," He claimed, a lazy smile growing over his features as he pressed himself into Louis' side, resting his head on his shoulder for a brief second before pulling back a little, a new wave of excitement painted over his face. "Ooh, and we can do our first dance to that one song you like," He hummed the beginning of a song Louis had never heard in his life under his breath, but he nodded nevertheless. Jesus, he was whipped.

"Anything for you, darling," He teased, pulling the chair away from the table for the boy once they reached it before sitting down beside him, coincidentally also beside Zayn who's best man he had become.

The boy, however, was stood up with a champagne glass in his hand and a mess of white flowers in his dark hair. "Hey, if everyone would like to sit-" He urged, Louis squeezing his side from beside him to make him squeak in surprise and flip off the man, before turning back to the mess of over a hundred people all circling around different tables, trying to find their names.

Their first dance was to that one Elvis Presley song about rivers flowing surely to the sea, and darling so it goes - some things are meant to be. He mouthed along to the words as he watched Zayn do some mad pirouette in Liam's arms, and his heart beat a little faster in his chest every time he became aware of the presence of his own fiancé next to him, their legs pressed together under the table. Harry looked like he was watching, and like he was loving every second of it with his head propped up on his hands, elbows on the table and a dreamy look on his face.

"I do like this song," The boy whispered to him after a minute, squeezing on his knee a little as he shifted forward to pour himself another drink, also pouring one for Louis and eventually for everyone seated on their table.

He couldn't help but love the fact that his own family was sat with Harry's, his mother and her new boyfriend looking as young and beautiful as ever. Harry's sister seemed to click with all of his own, especially the eldest, as they sat beside each other and chatted under their breath throughout the evening.

As the day came to a close and black flooded the sky, the lights illuminated the greenery around them and Louis stood on shaky legs. He made his way across the garden to where Harry was draped over the back of his sister's chair, catching the boy by surprise.

"Care to dance?" He asked quietly, ghosting his lips over the boy's ear before pressing a soft kiss to his neck, letting his mouth trail over the delicate skin. He could feel Harry's shaky exhale of breath against his own skin, and fingers gripping at his white shirt.

Even though the boy was a little tipsy, he followed Louis up to the area assigned for guests to dance with a stumble in his step and a glow on his cheeks, laughing loudly when he was pulled into the man's arms as a new song blared through the garden. He attempted to straighten himself out, the others around them watching with admiration and gentle smiles as they swayed around to the peaceful song, Harry's arms enveloping him.

"Your octopus limbs are at it again," Louis joked quietly, and he couldn't help but grin back when the boy's face lit up.

"It's like they're magnetic to your own. Like they just go right around you and I can't even help it. That's strange," The boy pondered, his speech a little slurred. He stepped forward, pressing their bodies together closely as he sighed blissfully. "Hey, I listened to this video,"

"Yeah?" Louis hummed, letting his lips linger on the delicate skin under his ear as he listened carefully. Harry's hand trailed up from where it was holding onto his shirt, instead resting on his shoulder and then into his hair.

"Yeah. This guy added neodymium powder to everything, and it turned magnetic. He made magnetic brownies."

Strangely, the boy's irrelevant comment didn't even catch him by surprise. He simply pulled back a little, and after giving the young lad a long look he couldn't help but burst out in a laugh, making the boy beam back at him.

The song sped up to some kind of a remix Liam most likely composed himself, and the boy in his arms instantly pulled back, as though he had been electrocuted. Not giving Louis a second to ponder it, he grabbed both of his hands and started skipping around, long hair flailing around and cheeks flushed warm, rose.

He didn't realise when or why or how, but it seemed that everyone had somehow started to form some kind of a messy circle around them, Harry basked in the attention of the crowd as he swung around, dancing clumsily with loud laughter, pulling Louis behind him.

"I love you!" The man couldn't help but call out through the crowds as Harry almost pranced across the field, everyone clapping around them, loud laughter filling the air. He felt a warm feeling in his stomach and a warm feeling flooding his bones, his lungs, his heart. It was even better when the boy spared him a second to turn his head back and yell back an 'I love you far, far more!' before returning to his strangely beautiful skipping thing he had going on.

And God, how did he get so lucky? The newly married couple was watching them with shining eyes, and their families were huddled together in a massive groups. Couples stood with their children and they clapped along to the laughing crowd and Louis realised that a future with Harry was no longer a dream, something he would think of while lying awake at night. He was no longer in Zayn's flat with food stains on his duvet and a cold bed with no hope for himself. He was no longer fantasising about Harry whilst he watched from afar, afraid to take a step forward and risk it.

Because he took the step, and it was the best decision he'd ever made.

And his future with the boy was no longer just a dream, because it was a reality. It would be soon that it would be them overlooking the crowd at their wedding with matching silver bands on their fingers and it was soon that it would be them and their family. And he could only hope that one day it will be him, and it will be Harry, and there will be a little one between them who will get all the love in the world.

He stopped Harry in the middle of the song, instead pulling him close by his shoulders and kissing him hard on the mouth, a loud cheer rising around them. People rushed past into their own groups to dance, to eat, to talk - but they just stood, Harry's mouth complying to open and Louis kissing him deep, deep, deep with his hand pressed to his chest, thumbing over the skin where he knew his heart was.

-

For his birthday, Harry got a beautiful rose tattooed down his arm, a black flower inked carefully by one of Zayn's close friends. Louis couldn't help but admire it on the daily, until he himself head out into the tattoo shop to get a dagger on his own skin to match. It showed the union of opposites, and though it sounded like a big cliché, him and Harry were the perfect example.

Another thing Harry got for his birthday was love.

Louis could still picture it vividly, he could still hear the boy's broken moans in his head as he withered beneath him, smooth skin and gentle touches. He could still hear the deep exhale of Harry's breath when he pushed into him for the first time ever, the warm tears staining his face as he attempted a weak smile. He could still see the way Harry opened up to him fully, the way he spread out over the bed willingly and the way his eyelids trembled when Louis moved. What will always stay in Louis' memory, he was pretty sure, was the way his body trembled as he choked on the man's name, accepting and giving.

They had laid in silence, limbs tangled as Louis had tried to control his breathing after finishing. He was pretty sure his hands were still shaking, and he was forever thankful when the beautiful boy took his palms in his own, squeezing tight and pulling him close.

And that was that, and it was the best moment of Louis' life. But then again, he couldn't lie - every moment with Harry was the best, even those that were hard.

And now, as they drunkenly stumbled up the staircase up to their shared home at four in the morning after the wedding, Louis thumbed over the boy's arm where the rose was hidden beneath his silk shirt. He could think back to the day he got the matching knife as though it was yesterday, despite it being long months ago - Harry had cried, and although it startled him at first, his heart soon ached with the need to comfort the boy. To his luck, he explained how his tears were of nothing but happiness.

Harry had laid beside him in bed every night feeling the raised skin around the black ink in his skin, fingers gentle when he touched it carefully.

"It's beautiful," He would remind him every evening even though he could not see, and Louis always told him that he was beautiful in response, making the boy preen and blink up at him in admiration.

He kicked the door shut behind them half-heartedly, because he already had one hand in Harry's hair and one gripping onto his hip, their mouths attached as he licked into the boy's, making him whine under the attention.

Before they were even halfway through the flat, Harry was already slipping out of the soft silk he was wearing, instead forcing himself into Louis' warm embrace before pushing them both towards their shared bedroom.

"Baby," Louis grunted into his ear as Harry pulled away from his warm mouth, instead leading his own lips down the man's neck to bite into the skin on his shoulder, making him groan as he pulled them towards the bed, a mess of duvets that they never bothered to clean up.

The dark curtains stopped any early morning light from flooding into the room per Harry's request from months ago. Louis took a moment to glance over and see if there was any way whatsoever in which neighbours could peek, but he figured that the pitch black curtains were doing their job figuratively well.

Harry was sprawled over him, the boy now pressing gentle kisses to his bottom lip as he made effort of unbuttoning his shirt, thumbing over each button carefully.

Despite their passion and strong love, the two fell asleep just like that - with Louis' legs hanging off the side of the bed and his boy lying on top of him, a heavy dead weight on his chest. He doesn't know what the future would bring - whether it will be Harry walking down the aisle to meet him, or if they'll walk together. He doesn't know whether they'll get Buttons a small cat friend, and he doesn't know whether they will move to find a bigger place to settle down forever. He doesn't know whether Harry will ever see him, or whether Harry will ever see anything for that matter - but that's alright. That's alright, because as long as he can give Harry his love, it's alright.


End file.
